by Emma Dean
“I’m only asking because I don’t want to accidentally trigger you. Can I touch you without issue?”
He smiled at that question and Bonnie blushed which annoyed her. She didn’t mean like that.
“What do you know about it?” he asked.
She shrugged and hopped out of the car, careful not to accidentally touch him. Now she felt bad for practically throwing herself on him at the barbecue. Bonnie hadn’t really noticed anything off other than he didn’t want her touching his knives, but she’d just thought that was a machismo moment.
“Let’s go on this walk and you can say everything you wanted to say, and then maybe I’ll tell you.”
Shane quit rubbing his finger and slipped his hand in his pocket. He breathed in deep and she knew on some weird level he was probably smelling her. “All right, lead the way, and I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”
Bonnie grabbed her gloves, scarf, and purse from the front seat and walked towards the exit. She wasn’t quite sure why she felt so nervous suddenly, but she was damned if she’d pass up an opportunity for more information.
Chapter Six
Bonnie
Shane followed her without question. The Lan Su Chinese Garden was close and so was the river. It was one of the biggest reasons Bonnie had wanted to move to that building. The condo was in a great area even if it was expensive. Bonnie wrapped her scarf around her neck tight and walked down the street towards the gardens.
What exactly did she even want to know from Shane? It would probably be more enlightening to have him start without her prompting him. Bonnie wanted to know what he’d planned to say anyways. Then she could ask her questions.
Shane kept pace with her easily. The way his eyes darted everywhere though made her nervous. It was like he expected something to go wrong at any moment.
“I’ve been in La Grande my whole life,” Shane finally said. “The Blue Mountain Pack took in Kai when he was a kid and we grew up together. When he graduated early he went off to trade school and then decided to travel. He de-registered with our pack so he didn’t have to request permission to enter anyone else’s territory. We have to get something like a passport that states our intentions to other packs, that kind of thing. It keeps things from getting out of hand.”
Bonnie took that in while they stopped and waited for the light to turn green. So he was jumping right into the pack stuff. Part of her was grateful she didn’t have to push for info, and part of her felt annoyed at how adamant these people were about this cult.
At least it was midday and she could enjoy the sun while it was out even if it was frigid. She tried not to watch Shane as he talked even though everything he said fascinated and horrified her.
“Well, about a year after he left, the pack’s Alpha died from old age and he had no children. So the next Alpha would be chosen by challenge. The infighting in the pack got out of hand. Everyone wanted to be the top dog—the light is green, hurry—but no one could hold the position of Alpha. It got to the point that a new Alpha was challenged every couple of weeks. I had to fight constantly to stay alive and keep my position as Second in the pack – though I never challenged.”
“Why not?” Bonnie bit her tongue, annoyed her curiosity got the better of her.
This was all new to her – every bit of it. She didn’t read paranormal romance like Amelia did. She liked the contemporary romance. It was easier to imagine that kind of situation for her. It’s what she preferred. So this whole world of werewolves and alphas…she knew the terms and what they meant, but she didn’t know it intimately like her best friend did.
“I don’t think with my condition I’m the best to lead,” Shane admitted. “I’ve always had OCD but it was very manageable. It’s when I get really stressed that it gets bad. Leading would be nothing but stress. While this was all going on I had some pretty serious relapses. It got real bad.” He put his hand out like he was going to press it to her lower back so he could lead her, but then held back.
He was so strange. Shane had been uptight and on edge since the moment she met him, but this man by her side was far more calm and collected. Had one therapy appointment really helped that much?
“The fights and challenges went on for almost a decade until I couldn’t take it anymore. Finally I called Kai. He’d been born an Alpha and I knew he had the right head to lead us back into peace. By the time he came back we went from fifty of us to who you met over the weekend. Olivia is the only one who joined us recently. Otherwise I’m not sure she would have survived.”
They stopped outside the Chinese botanical gardens and Bonnie flashed her membership card. It got both of them in for free and then she slowed down her pace so she could enjoy the space. It was like stepping through a portal into a separate country and she loved it.
Bonnie breathed in the smell of the flowers and stayed quiet. What Shane described was like something out of a nightmare. But it still felt like a fairy tale. There was no way what he said could possibly be true. How did they hide all of this?
“You don’t believe me,” he stated, stopping before the pond.
She gave him a sideways glance and decided to just be honest. “I just…I knew people who said things like this – fantastical things. And they believed it with so much fervor that I was halfway convinced myself. But werewolves aren’t real. It’s amazing what people can do these days with their voices or effects.”
Shane pulled his shirt over his head and she gasped in shock. “What are you doing? You’re going to get us kicked out!” she hissed, trying to pull the shirt back down. Then Bonnie stopped as she finally saw the scars crisscrossing over his chest. Some were old and white and others were still an angry red, marring the gorgeous muscles of his abs and chest.
Fuck, what the hell had happened to him?
“Let me show you,” he snapped. “Otherwise what’s the point if you don’t believe?” Shane grabbed her hand and dragged her from the pavilion through the buildings and out into the Scholar’s Courtyard.
There was nobody there in the middle of a Monday, but still she hesitated. “There could be cameras,” she told him.
“You think we don’t own this place?” Shane asked, stripping his shirt off. “We own more businesses in Portland than anyone realizes. We’re silent partners or outright owners who hire other shifters or witches.” Then he kicked off his shoes and socks.
Bonnie’s heart started pounding when he reached for his belt. This was insane. There was no way he would be able to turn into a wolf. “Don’t you need a full moon or something?” she asked, looking around nervously.
Shane was a beautiful specimen of a man and no one in their right mind would be mad about seeing him naked, but still public nudity was against the law. Someone could report him. Unless he was right, and his pack or whatever really did own the gardens.
Could they really own it? Only if they were real.
Then he ripped his pants off and crouched down. It took a moment and Bonnie couldn’t decide if she was scared he would turn into a wolf or scared that he wouldn’t. It was never pretty when someone who was sick realized their fantasy world wasn’t real.
Then suddenly he was a fucking wolf.
Bonnie knew it was him because he had the same eyes. His coat was a pure white. She stumbled backwards and nearly fell because he wasn’t the size of a large dog. His head was almost at her shoulders and he was massive, more like a small bear.
She kept telling herself not to scream. That would only draw attention to them, but she also wasn’t one hundred percent sure this wolf wasn’t going to try and eat her.
“Turn back,” she hissed. “Someone might see you, for fuck’s sake, Shane. I believe you now.”
He wagged his goddamn tail and ran around her once, brushing against her. Then suddenly there was a gorgeous naked man in front of her and she had to look up again. Before she could catch her breath his hands were on her face and he was kissing her hard and rough.
Bonnie couldn’t
think let alone react other than to kiss him back. Fuck, he was such a good kisser too which only made her mad. When he pulled back with this cocky smile on his face she slapped the shit out of him.
“What the hell were you thinking?” she demanded, trying not to let her voice get screechy. “Someone could have seen you.”
Her hands were shaking as she had to realign everything she ever knew about the world.
He. Was. A. Fucking. Wolf.
Shane didn’t seem bothered by her reaction or the red mark on his face because he continued to just grin at her while he hopped into his pants. “Now you believe me and you don’t think I’m crazier than I actually am. Totally worth you hitting me.”
She let out a deep breath and tried to calm her racing heart.
Okay, so…there were fucking werewolves and shit in the world. Great, like she needed more problems.
“I didn’t hit you because you turned into a werewolf. I hit you because you just kissed me naked in one of my favorite places and you might get us kicked out if you don’t hurry the fuck up…and you deserved it for letting me wake up alone.”
“We’re not werewolves babe, we are wolf shifters. We can shift any time we want. And why are you so stuck on me not being there when you woke up?”
Bonnie just crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. She made sure to keep her eyes on his face and not his scars. Those scars were something else and covered almost every inch of his skin. If he had to fight as much as he said he had…it was a wonder he wasn’t dead.
And now she felt like an ass. Because if Shane could turn into a wolf, then that meant that Amelia could too.
Shane pulled on his socks and boots and then texted someone on his phone. “Don’t worry, I’ve asked the local coven to take care of anything that might have been noticed. They are pretty good at keeping the paranormal off videos and pulling memories when needed.”
Then he finally yanked on his shirt and Bonnie breathed a little easier, and not just because it was difficult not to admire him without clothes on. This man…this wolf was intense. She grabbed his hand and pulled him through the rest of the gardens and into the teahouse. She needed something soothing.
She ordered for the both of them and then pointed at a table and glared. Shane didn’t argue with her for once. Bonnie needed a moment to come to terms with what she’d just seen.
This was all real, and that meant Amelia really would turn into a wolf…well fuck. She’d been a total psycho, over-protective bitch, but even still it was a bullshit situation and Bonnie was not happy about it.
The tea came up and she grabbed both cups. Then Bonnie carried them over to Shane who looked so out of place in a Chinese tea shop. She slid his cup to him slowly. “So you’re a werewolf—excuse me, a wolf shifter with OCD.” It sounded even more ridiculous out loud than it did in her head.
“And PTSD.”
“And PTSD, of course. From those years of surviving.”
He nodded and Bonnie sipped her scalding tea, trying to wrap her mind around this new world view. Everything she knew had to be rearranged. “So what did you want to explain to me exactly?”
Shane tapped his finger on the side of the cup. It was insanely rhythmic and not once did he miss the beat. “I needed you to believe me because if you didn’t, then you wouldn’t believe me when I told you that you were my mate as well.”
Bonnie laughed right in his face. “Right, how obvious. As if this day couldn’t get any worse.” She pushed the tea away and went to grab her purse. She didn’t need this shit in her life along with everything else. Shane was hot, but she wasn’t ready for this kind of baggage.
He grabbed her hand and she hesitated. “Don’t you feel it too?” he asked. “There was this awful pain in my chest that nothing could fix…until I saw you again and I could smell your scent.”
Yes, she felt it, but Bonnie hadn’t realized that was the reason why she’d been feeling so shitty since she left La Grande.
“I understand you don’t want to leave your life,” Shane told her. “And you probably don’t want to leave your friends and family. But maybe you could just give me a chance. Maybe we could try and make this work?”
That hit a chord and Bonnie glared at him. “I don’t have any family. Amelia was my only real friend. And she’s leaving. So excuse me while I live my life for my own reasons.”
Shane winced and released her. Instantly she felt a difference. Bonnie watched him rub the back of his neck and glance around the empty tea shop with the employee who may or may not be a shifter.
She decided to take pity on him. “Look, mates are a big deal right?”
He eyed her suspiciously but nodded.
“I’m not ready for something that serious. Amelia is now moving in with Kai after a week. I don’t like how much that skews someone’s personality. Before she met him she never would have moved in with anyone, let alone after a week.” Bonnie adjusted her scarf, feeling a bit warm in the tearoom.
Shane had a quiet intensity that had drawn Bonnie to him immediately and he had that same quality now. He just stared at her with narrowed eyes. It made her squirm.
He was still really hot and yes she would love to take him to bed again, but she wanted slow and easy. She wanted to go on a date and get to know one another, not pledge undying love the moment they fucked.
“Is it so bad Amelia gave up her lonely life and now has a family, a pack? She is happy, regardless of how you feel personally. Doesn’t she deserve to have her dreams finally come true? She’s the Alpha female. She has a beautiful home with a man who adores the shit out of her and will never leave her. Not only that, Kai is loyal. He is helping her achieve her dreams by giving her the means to start her own business. Is all that really so bad, simply because it happened faster than you’d prefer?”
His words were quiet, but they lashed her soul and Bonnie flinched when he smacked his hand down on the table. Shane was pissed. “I thought you weren’t afraid of anything.”
That was enough. “I’m not afraid of anything,” Bonnie hissed, leaning forward and getting in his face. “And I’m certainly not afraid of you.”
Shane leaned forward too and suddenly she realized her mistake when she glanced down and saw his lips were barely an inch from hers. “Then prove it,” he murmured. “Kiss me and then tell me you don’t want any of this.”
This guy took no prisoners. He knew exactly what to say to rile her up. Bonnie never backed down from a challenge. She closed the small distance and pressed her lips to his.
The taste and feel of him…instantly she melted into him.
This kiss wasn’t rough and demanding like the one he’d stolen from her after he’d shifted. It was slow and easy, like he had all the time in the world. The smell of pine filled her nose and Bonnie lost herself in the moment when his tongue parted her lips and tasted her.
It made her wonder what he would be like in bed, taking his time to taste other things…
Bonnie inhaled sharply and pulled back. She was already wet and desperately wanted him. This had to be some kind of magic. His eyes searched hers and she grabbed her purse. “I don’t want any of this,” she choked out.
For the first time in almost ten years she’d lied to someone’s face. Bonnie took off and practically ran back to her car. She couldn’t do this right now. One more minute, one more kiss – and she’d give up everything to spend more time with Shane.
Why did her life have to be so messed up?
Chapter Seven
Shane
Shane stayed in that tearoom for a long time. First he finished his tea, and then he finished Bonnie’s. It didn’t help he could taste her on her cup.
Fuck, he was messed up.
“Can I get you anything else?” the shifter asked him. The Chinese man was one of the rare panda shifters and owned the Chinese Gardens.
Shane shook his head and stared at nothing in particular.
At least with Kai these other shifters had safety and s
tability once again. It had been like a bloody, deadly mafia for the last decade. The only reason there were any non-predator shifters left in Portland at all was because he’d managed to keep the worst of it from them with the witches’ help.
It had been a long, shitty ten years. And this thing with Bonnie was just the icing on the top. Finally Shane had found his mate. She calmed his compulsions like nothing he’d ever experienced before until he felt almost normal. But she wanted nothing to do with him.
At least not as his mate.
Shane could smell a lie from a mile away, and she lied right to his fucking face. Bonnie wanted him bad. Her arousal was thick and heady, but so was her fear. His wolf hated that smell and he barely managed to keep the growl from his throat.
Shane and the pandas went back years. They didn’t like conflict and he’d managed to keep most of it away from them. Thank goodness they were peaceful and completely non-threatening.
His wolf couldn’t handle even the smallest challenge at the moment.
He stood and asked the shifter to email him the update on the business and to call him if he needed anything. Shane pulled out his phone as he left and jogged back to where he’d parked his truck.
Bonnie’s scent was still on the air, lingering. It told him exactly where she’d gone and Shane could see it like it was a trail leading him right to her. Bonnie had gone back to her car and then driven off. That was where the trail went a bit hazy, but he could guess from the general direction it was back to her old condo.
Shit. And no one had told him she was moving. Apparently Amelia had no idea either. Shane hadn’t been able to get much from Bonnie, but what he did see broke his fucking heart. His mate was alone in the world and felt like they were taking the only person she had left away from her.
And now she knew the paranormal was real – that they weren’t all a bunch of psychos.
He hopped in his truck and headed to the pack’s townhome where they stayed whenever they had business in the city. It was hard to believe a little more than a year ago none of this had been so easy. The townhome was owned by the original Alpha, but it had been trashed during the last decade.