by Leigh, Ember
Cheers churned in the air. Pleas for more, finish him off, kill the fucking kid. Lex ignored everything and headed for Knuckles, who looked happier than maybe Lex had ever seen him.
“Now that’s the Cheshire I remember,” Knuckles said, offering his hand. Lex almost didn’t take it, until he remembered the familiar song and dance. When he took his hand in his, folded bills brushed against his palm.
“How much?”
“You’re a humorless sonofabitch, you know that?” Knuckles’ grin fell.
“I’m covered in that kid’s blood and it’s time for me to go. How much?”
“2 G.” When the bills were in Lex’s palm, he tried to pull away but Knuckles stopped him. “And if you need any of the extracurriculars you used to love, I’ve got that for you too.”
Cocaine was the only extracurricular he could be referring to. Dread seeped through him. He wanted to be light years away from this world. “I’m good.”
Lex yanked his hand back and turned, heading for his clothes.
“Not even a thank you?” Knuckles’ disbelief rose above the din of the warehouse. Without turning around, Lex lifted his hand in the air and flashed a thumbs up. It wasn’t in the job description to be pleasant. He’d had one job, and he’d done it.
Time to put this unwelcome chapter far behind him. So far that it became nothing more than a bad dream.
Chapter 17
It wasn’t even a full day before he got the call from another Unknown number. He tended to the cut on his cheekbone while he swiped to answer the phone. Thank God he’d had the day off today. Travis would have been the first to grill him about the black eye.
“What?”
Knuckles gave a throaty chuckle. “Well, guess what? You outdid yourself.”
Lex’s stomach pitched downward. “And?”
“They want to see you again. Double the payout.”
Lex pinched his eyes shut, pressing his thumb between his eyebrows. Here it was: exactly why it was so damn hard to get out. If their unending stream of requests didn’t do a guy in, then the money did it. How else could he rake in more than five grand in the span of a few days?
“I said one fight,” Lex said through gritted teeth.
“Oh, come on, Cheshire.” The flick of a lighter in the background, a slow exhale. Knuckles’ voice echoed in the bathroom on speakerphone. “I forgot what it was like with you around. With a bona fide fighter, you know? You could punch the tits off Medusa.”
Lex pressed his palms against the white countertop, staring at the bruised side of his face.
“The guys that have been in the circuit recently…they’re weak sauce. Nothing like you.”
“I told you I can’t.”
An eerie silence emerged from the other end of the phone. Finally, a slow exhale. “And I told you there’d be consequences if you didn’t.”
“Dude, I’ve got a job.” Lex tried to keep the emotion from pinching his voice. “I can’t be showing up to work all battered and bruised like this.”
“You fight for a living. You can’t blame it on someone else?”
“We don’t give each other shiners like this in the gym,” Lex spat, rummaging through a bathroom drawer. He’d had concealer in here, once upon a time. For the accidental black eyes during training camp.
Knuckles grunted. “Bunch of pansies over there.” When Lex started to protest, Knuckles added, “Except for you, Cheshire. So, you in?”
Lex ground his jaw as he worked over all the possible outcomes of saying no and meaning it. Before he could respond, Knuckles chimed in.
“There’s the easy way, Cheshire, or there’s the hard way.”
Lex kicked at the cabinet of his bathroom vanity. The door popped open and swung outward. “What.”
“The easy way is, you say yes.”
“And the hard way?”
“The hard way is I show up to wherever that pretty blonde lives and let her know what you’ve got cooking with us. Bring her into the mix too.”
The silence stretched so thick between them Lex swore he could hear Knuckle’s lungs moving. “Just send me the details. I’ll be there.”
The line went dead, and Lex stared at his reflection. Darkness shone in his eyes, the same steely void that he swore he’d never glimpse again. The emptiness that shimmered in the pupil when selling one’s soul to the devil.
He didn’t want the money. He didn’t want to prove himself. He just wanted out. The twinge in his gut told him this was far from the last fight they’d con him into.
If the Kings had anything to say about it, they’d make him fight until he died. And maybe that’s what the surging interest was about. Watch Cheshire finally take what’s coming to him. Fight, fight, fight until Cheshire cat used all nine lives.
The corners of his mouth turned down as he finally found the concealer he’d been looking for. For now, it was the best he had.
* * *
Lila’s phone had been buzzing nearly all day with texts from Lex. It sizzled in the front pocket of her scrubs, a temptation almost too good to resist. Almost a week had gone by since they’d last seen each other. And even though they’d see each other tomorrow night, Lila couldn’t stop imagining what their breathless reunion would feel like…or how Lex might respond once she finally dropped the bomb.
But thoughts of Lex were a dangerous distraction. She couldn’t afford to slip up, not since earlier that week when she’d left a patient chart open while running to grab a bottle of water. Of course Dr. Waters had walked by just then and reported it to her supervisor. It was a small ding, but it was still a ding. And she couldn’t afford any more of those when she was gunning for the top.
“Good God.” Her colleague Tish sidled up to the nurse’s station, smoothing back tight brown ringlets that had escaped her ponytail. “I swear today is some sort of gunshot holiday we don’t know about.”
Lila groaned, her shoulders sagging. “Another one?”
“Unfortunately, yes. I think he’s another gang friend, as well.” Tish grimaced as she typed into her laptop. Gang friend was the term they used amongst each other. The only way to put a positive spin on the hopeless vortex that joining a gang entailed.
Lila nibbled at her bottom lip as she checked a calendar in the nurse’s station. “Speaking of gang friends…” She squinted to read the small print, confirming what she’d suspected. Today was Task Force day, the biweekly visit with Mason that she used to look forward to and now would sacrifice a small animal to ensure that it fell on her day off.
“Mason’s already here,” Tish said, closing her laptop. “I saw him over near admin. I guess it’s only fitting if this is the gunshot holiday.”
Tish sashayed away to her next arrival, leaving Lila in an awkward bubble. The last time Mason had come around for his rounds at the hospital, he’d just discovered Lex at Lila’s apartment. Calling him icy would have been an understatement. He’d have fit in better in the Arctic Circle.
Despite the iciness, it didn’t stop his random texts from coming through. Usually after midnight. Probably drunk texts, since they were usually one-liners about missing her or needing a kiss.
Just knowing he was in the vicinity set her on edge. Hopefully she’d get wrapped up in a room for the duration of his visit.
“Lila.”
Fuck. She froze in her spot, knowing already that it was him. She drew a slow breath before pasting a smile that probably looked more like a grimace on her face. Mason strolled around the curved counter of the nurse’s station, his blue eyes like a whip on her.
“Hey, Mason.” She tried to sound lighthearted. Like he hadn’t reduced her to a piece of pussy in her own living room.
His officer’s uniform was neatly pressed, his badge gleaming under the bright lights of the hospital. At one time, his holster and the loaded gun at his hip had been a turn on. She’d thought she needed that type of safety. An assurance against the unsteadiness of the real world.
But the gun didn’t mean s
hit after all.
“Lots of intakes today,” he said, rapping his knuckles against the countertop. “Lots of interventions to be had.”
“Yep.” His work trying to convince gang members, especially the young ones, to give up the life was admirable. The way he looked at her right now was not.
He wet his bottom lip, his gaze sweeping up and down her body. “Listen.”
Her eyes fluttered shut. She knew what followed a cajoling tone like that. “What?”
“We should talk.”
“About what?” She sniffed, shutting her laptop. The signal that she was important and had to move on.
“There’s something you should know about that…” Mason’s jaw flexed. “That guy.”
He could only be referring to Lex. “Um, what on earth could you possibly know about him?” She cocked a hip, pursing her lips. “And why do you care?”
“I actually care about you, Lila,” he said in a low voice. One that bordered on hurt. “Even if you don’t believe it. I don’t know why that’s so hard for you to understand.”
She blinked hard. “I thought I was just a lay for you. Not even a good one at that.”
“Oh, please. You’re gonna throw that in my face?”
“Not sure what else I’m supposed to do with it.” She clamped her mouth shut as a nurse rushed by. Mason watched her disappear down the hallway before turning back to Lila.
“I was upset,” he said.
“It doesn’t matter. You don’t talk to people like that. What did you want to say to me?”
Mason’s jaw worked from side to side. Dark-blond stubble just barely hinted on his jawline at five p.m. He was dashingly handsome, but he’d just never come close to lighting her up. No matter how badly she wanted to believe it. No matter how precious the story of the Nurse and the Officer might be.
“I did some researching on that Olivo guy,” Mason finally said, tracing his thumb over an invisible pattern on the counter. “Found out some stuff you might want to know.”
Lila’s stomach jerked to her feet. “Yeah? And why would you be gracious enough to pass this on to me?”
Mason’s eyes narrowed as he watched a nurse accompany a limping man down the hallway. “You might change your mind once you know what I know.”
Her nostrils flared as she fought to keep a steely façade. “Go on.”
“This guy is bad news.” Mason sighed like the weight of his words had been too heavy to bear. “He’s got a history. One that you want to stay far, far away from.”
Lila tried not to laugh in his face. “What makes you think I don’t know about it?”
“If you know about it, then you’re not who I think you are.” Mason straightened. “There’s no way you’d willingly be with someone who’s linked with The Kings.”
Lila gnawed at the inside of her cheek. Coldness whooshed through her, nearly pushing her off balance.
“He’s been arrested more times than I can count for possession. All sorts of shit, too. Weed, coke, you name it. Shit, just from getting picked up for street fighting alone, the guy could have funded the city of LA in fines he paid.”
Lila sniffed, rifling through a stack of envelopes nearby. She had no idea what they were. Didn’t matter. Anything to look disinterested.
“His track record with The Kings is long, too. You’re seriously trying to date a gangbanger?”
“Mason,” she said in a low voice. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You’re better than that,” he said through gritted teeth, leaning over the nurse’s station. “You want scum, you stay with him. But I can give you so much more.”
This time, she couldn’t hold it in. Lila laughed out loud, so loud that she clamped a hand over her mouth. Mason’s gaze turned dark.
“I’m serious. I see this shit all the time. Guys like that never change. The gangs never let them out, and their women are just accessories.” He paused, drawing a deep breath. “With me, you don’t have to worry about any of that shit.”
“Well.” Inside she was jumbled like a scrambled egg, but she fought to keep her voice level. “Thanks for your concern.”
“You should be concerned,” he warned. “Doesn’t look especially awesome if a staff nurse is linked up with a gang.”
Blood streaked hot, straight to her temples. Was that a fucking threat? Mason straightened as she snatched her laptop and came around the nurse’s station. She brushed past him on her way to the next room, holding her head high as she strutted down the hallway. As soon as she rounded the corner, though, the emotion clamped down. Her limbs went Jell-O and boneless, and in her mind she couldn’t stop reliving the exchange.
Maybe she hadn’t played it right. Maybe she should have asked questions. Or maybe she should have slapped Mason for using his civil servant status for creeping on a person who wasn’t any threat to him, other than to his ego.
She slowed in the hallway, pinching the bridge of her noise. Infuriating. Ridiculous. What was the point of defending Lex against this former version of himself? Mason would only see it as being blinded by love.
But maybe you are.
The thought hung with her as she ducked into an empty exam room, shutting the door quietly behind her. In the pulsating silence of the room, all the conflicting emotions of that exchange wrested the calm right out of her body. She hiccuped with a sob, wiping away a fallen tear.
Mason didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about. That much was certain.
But as Lila straightened herself and breezed back into the hallway, the darkest part of her whispered that maybe he did.
Chapter 18
THEN
Lila’s mouth fell open. The light of the bathroom buzzed above her, the only soundtrack to the painful discovery pinched between her fingertips.
Her period had been late. Extra, super late.
She’d finally broken down and bought the pregnancy test. But this couldn’t be right.
Not now. Not when everything was so uncertain.
Tears pressed at her eyes, and suddenly she knew. The tender boobs. The heightened emotions. She couldn’t even look at Lex’s bruised face anymore without crying a little. The front door opened, and she drew a shaky breath. Lex was home. He had to know.
“Lex?” She reached for some toilet paper and blew her nose. They’d been fighting so much recently. Usually their fights were punctuated with gut-aching tenderness and wild bouts of sex. But lately, it had been only anger and simmering tensions.
He pushed open the bathroom door a moment later, an eyebrow arched. “You need help in here or what?”
His face fell when he saw her sitting on the closed toilet lid. His gaze moved to the countertop.
“I have something I need to tell you,” she began, but a moment later he was wrapped around her, those thick arms squeezing all the sadness out of her. Just like he’d always been able to.
“Babe. Is it for real?” He looked at the test with a slack jaw. “Are you…have you been…?”
She nodded, tears filling her eyes. “I’m pregnant.”
He watched her as though she’d suddenly morphed into a different species. “Is that why you puked the other morning?”
She nodded, a fresh wave of tears hitting her. He wiped one off her cheek with his thumb.
“What are we gonna do?” she whispered.
“Be parents?” He offered a small laugh. “Fuck, I don’t know.”
“But…we can’t be parents.” The truth of this hit her like a dump truck flying off a cliff. Lex was addicted to coke. Addicted to fighting. And basically in a gang. The definition of what one shouldn’t do prior to bringing a child into the world.
She wanted kids…and she knew Lex did too. But like this? With so much worry and instability and fucked up things happening around them every day?
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t keep it.” She averted her gaze. It was true. Even if it hurt. “Now is not the time for kids. For either of
us. I still have over a year of school left. And you…” She trailed off, a bitter laugh escaping her. “You can’t even pretend like you’re ready for kids.”
A dark look crossed his face, but he didn’t fight her on it. Instead he enveloped her hand between his, bringing her knuckles to his lips.
“But we can do it.”
A silent sob wracked her body. She shook her head.
Lex pressed more kisses to her knuckles. “But you know better than me. We’ll do whatever you want.”
She nodded, her vision blurring with tears. In a different world, Lex would be a good dad. If he got clean. If he found something else to make money with, other than breaking his face. But any hope of that day coming grew more faint the longer he stayed with The Kings. They were bleeding him dry. And Lex either didn’t care, didn’t see it, or some dangerous combination of the two.
“I’ll find a clinic,” she said. “We can go together.”
Lex’s carob eyes were full of uncertainty, but he nodded anyway, bringing the back of her hand to his lips.
Chapter 19
The plastic wrap crinkled in his grip as he pushed the elevator up button. Six white lilies sprawled in various stages of blooming, sending shocking waves of fragrance every time he so much as twitched.
He smiled down at the bouquet. Lila would love this. Lilies for Lila. Besides, he wanted to check in on her. Make sure there weren’t any unexpected visitors, like Knuckles had threatened. If she could surprise him, then he wanted to return the favor. See a wide-eyed smile light up her face. Hug her so tight she squealed right into his ear.