Well Hung Over in Vegas: A Standalone Romantic Comedy

by Kimberly Fox

  I sigh as he shuffles away.

  My mind drifts to what I have to do tomorrow. It’s a Saturday, and we have to go to the Hardware store to pick out the tiles for the bathroom renovations. I should start pricing lawn mowers because ours is almost dead.

  A guy comes walking over and grabs my arm. “I’m going to take her for a turn, guys,” he says, brushing the other dicks away from me.

  I hold back a yawn as he guides me to the couch, turns me, and shoves me onto it. I land with my knees on the cushions and my arms on the top. This guy is big and muscular, but he’s got a small cock.

  He positions himself behind me, gripping my ass as he slides in and starts fucking me doggystyle.

  I rest my chin on my arms, looking around the room as he gives my uninterested pussy a go.

  There are naked people everywhere, in all sorts of sexual positions. Steven and Mandy host an orgy every Friday night in their apartment. I’ve been coming here for years, but I haven’t cum in a while. Not with these same old boring dicks every week.

  I think I have to get kinkier. These vanilla orgies aren’t doing it for me anymore.

  I’ll go to that yoga class at nine tomorrow, and then we can head over to the Hardware store. Ah, shit! I think Lucas has a soccer practice at ten. That will screw up my yoga plans.

  “Yeah,” the small-dicked guy behind me grunts as he starts thrusting in harder. “You love my fucking cock!”

  I like doggystyle because the guys can’t see me rolling my eyes.

  My husband Todd is standing by the fish tank, getting a blowjob from the girl who works at the car wash.

  “Hey, Todd!” I call out across the ocean of moaning and writhing bodies.

  He adjusts his glasses as he turns and looks at me over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

  “Does Lucas have soccer practice tomorrow?”

  The guy behind me starts really ramping up the pace, swinging me back and forth as he fucks me. I want to turn and tell him to slow it down because I’m trying to have a conversation over here, but I just let it go. He’s close to coming anyway, and then he’ll leave me alone.

  “Yeah,” Todd says with a nod. “At ten o’clock.”

  Shit. That means I won’t be able to go to my yoga class.

  I sigh as Todd turns back around. That sucks. I really wanted to go to that yoga class. I hate soccer.

  I’m getting more bored with each short thrust when the door swings open and a new couple explodes into the room.

  Here we go. I perk up with interest as I see the hot young girl burst in, looking smoking hot despite the condition of her outfit, which is wet and all scuffed up. My mouth drops when I see who’s following her. He’s thick with muscle, a gorgeous face, big hands, and I’d bet he’s hiding a huge cock under those tailored pants.

  I lick my lips as they look around with wide bulging eyes. Finally, some new action.

  I’m definitely going to try him out. And her.

  But they don’t look like they’re here for sex. The guy’s eyes widen to the size of Magnum condoms when he spots the fish tank in the corner. He runs over, bumping into a guy getting a blowjob, and dunks his head into the water.

  “What the fuck?” I mutter as I watch him. His head is submerged in the water, drinking sloppily like a British Bulldog who just crossed the desert in the middle of the summer.

  His pretty little girlfriend starts walking around the room, staring at everyone with pure amazement in her eyes.

  What the hell are they on?

  Steven and Mandy have a strict no drug policy, so it’s only a matter of time before they’re kicked out. I just hope I get a taste of that cock before they do.

  Mr. Five Inches behind me starts grunting heavily. In all of the excitement, I forgot he was even back there.

  “Come on my dick,” he grunts as he squeezes my ass.

  I have to hold back a laugh. It’s going to take more than five inches to make me cum. You’d have a better chance with your fist.

  I turn my attention back to the new girl who is staring in wonder at a guy who’s jerking off on a pair of tits.

  “Wow,” she mutters as she leans over closely and stares. The guy throws his head back and grunts, coming on the big tits in front of him.

  The new girl looks like a crackhead scientist observing an experiment as she holds her chin in her hand and nods with a furrowed brow while she watches. When he’s done, she reaches out and pokes his cock with her index finger then starts giggling.

  Meanwhile, her boyfriend is still chugging water from the fish tank, splashing it everywhere. I wouldn’t be surprised if he swallowed a couple of fish with the way he’s going at it. He looks like he hasn’t drunk anything for weeks.

  Some naked guy walks up to the new girl, holding his hard cock in his hand. “Hello,” he says, looking her up and down.

  “Hello,” she says in return, giving him a friendly wave. She looks down at his hard cock and points to it. “Sir, you have a blue eggplant growing out of your body.”

  The guy looks down at his cock with a frown, and she skips away, moving through the room. She stops at every couple, honking the girls’ breasts and poking the guys’ asses with her finger.

  The new guy finally yanks his head out of the fish tank and turns around, taking deep gulps of air. His face, hair, and suit are drenched as he looks around with wide confused eyes.

  “Why are these mannequins having sex?” he asks with water pouring off his chin.

  I’d still fuck him.

  The new girl circles back to him and he grabs her arm, looking panicked. He backs up until he’s flattened against the wall like a drugged-up Spider-man, and then quickly slides along the wall toward the door.

  The girl walks over to the coffee table and gasps as she picks up my leather whip. She tucks it under her arm and then grabs my favorite ball gag and an open box of Magnum condoms.

  Her friend yanks the door open and leaps through it, disappearing into the hallway.

  “Wait!” she says, running after him with my stuff in her arms.

  I perk up on the couch, about to call them back so I can get my stuff when the guy behind me squeezes my ass and yells that he’s coming.

  “I’m coming!” he screeches.

  Good for you.

  I sigh as I slump back down, watching as Mandy closes the door. The guy and girl are both gone with my toys. Oh, well. Those don’t do anything for me anymore anyway. I need a lot more than a whip and a ball gag to get my motor going these days.

  Mr. Five Inches finally pulls out of me and walks away without saying a word. Before I can take a second to stretch out my legs, Steven takes his place, sliding his dick inside of me.

  “Hey, Steven,” I say, looking at him over my shoulder.

  “Hi, Linda,” he answers as he thrusts in and out of me. “Did you guys file your taxes yet?”

  Shit! I wonder if Todd sent them in.

  “Hey, Todd! Did you send in the taxes?”

  16

  Tyler

  “So, as you can see,” my cousin Nick says as he finishes up his proposal, “there is no other option than to close down the steel plant in Phoenix and move it to Honduras. I highly recommend that we start the process immediately.”

  Every person in the room looks to the head of the table where my father is sitting. He’s watching Nick while he twirls his pen in his hand. He always does that when he’s thinking.

  “Sounds good,” he finally says, nodding. “You can be in charge of handling it, Nick.”

  Nick flashes me a triumphant look before gathering his notes with a smirk on his face.

  “If I may, sir,” Dahlia says, straightening up in her seat. “I have an alternative option.”

  My ears perk up as I turn to my beautiful wife who is now a constant fixture in McMillan Worldwide Inc.’s top meetings. It’s only been a week since she’s been working here, but my father has already taken a liking to her. And it’s not because she’s his new daughter-in-law. It’
s because she’s a killer business woman who knows her shit and who has an unlimited number of intelligent ideas.

  My father turns to her with a smile on his face. “You have the floor, Dahlia.”

  She clears her throat and then spits out a whole speech on how we can not only save the factory in Phoenix but also cut costs while increasing profits by adding a gold refinery to the existing steel plant. I don’t know how she comes up with these ideas.

  “McMillan Worldwide Inc. just absorbed the Klineton Mining Corporation last month, correct?” she says, glancing down at her notepad. It’s covered in notes. Even the margins have notes scribbled on them. I swallow hard as I glance down at my notepad. All mine has on it is a doodle of a penguin who looks more like a rocket ship than a bird.

  My father nods. “We did.”

  “As you may know,” she continues with a proud smile on her face. “The Klineton Mining Corporation has a small department that specializes in gold. Well, they just discovered a huge vein of gold in one of the mountains they were digging in, and those dole bars have to be processed. If we set that up in the steel factory in Phoenix, we could save a ton of money over the next five years.”

  My skin tingles as I watch her do what she does best. She could hold her own against any of these business sharks, and I can tell that she knows it and loves it.

  “That’s not going to work,” Nick scoffs, waving a dismissive hand at her.

  She ignores him, turning to my dad. “It’s going to work.”

  My father is liking the idea. I can tell.

  “Arizona has a lower tax on gold,” I add, helping to drive the idea home. “If we refine the gold in Honduras and import it back, we’re going to get slaughtered with importation taxes.”

  Nick is breathing heavily as he watches us trounce his presentation.

  My father turns to my cousin Jason. “What do you think?” he asks him.

  Jason is sitting at the end of the table, listening carefully. He nods, looking impressed at the idea. If Jason thinks it’s a good idea, it’s probably a good idea. That kid knows his stuff.

  “I’d have to run the numbers but it sounds like it could work,” he says.

  “I already ran them,” Dahlia answers quickly, grabbing some papers from her bag. She hands them around the table, grinning as she hands one to Nick.

  My younger cousin Jason nods as he quickly looks over the numbers. He would make a better boss than Nick, but he knows that both his older brother Nick and I really want my father’s position so he has pulled his name out of the running. I’m glad that he did because he’d be making it even harder for me to get the spot.

  “It looks good,” my father says, nodding in approval as he looks over the numbers. He takes a second to read the papers and then tosses them on the desk. “Good job, Dahlia. Create a full proposal for me and have it on my desk by tomorrow morning.”

  I’ve never seen her smile so wide. It’s adorable.

  My father turns to me. “Tyler, you can help her.”

  Wow, that smile vanished quickly.

  “Anything else?” my father asks, looking around the room. When no one speaks up, he dismisses us all and hurries out of the conference room.

  Jason smiles at Dahlia as he passes her on his way out. “Great job, cuz,” he says, giving her a fist bump.

  Nick still looks furious. “She’s not your cousin, Jason,” he says, glaring at his brother.

  Jason rolls his eyes and taps Dahlia’s shoulder as he leans down close to her ear. “Yes, you are,” he whispers.

  She smiles shyly for a second before catching my eye and dropping it.

  “I want a copy of that proposal as well,” Nick says as he angrily shoves his notes into his bag.

  “Why, so you can see what a real proposal looks like?” Dahlia asks, flashing him a dirty look.

  “No, so I can find all of the mistakes that will inevitably be in there,” he answers.

  “The only mistake around here is letting you in through the door,” I say, standing up. “That will be changed once I’m the boss.”

  I can’t prove anything yet, but I have a strong suspicion that Nick is stealing from the company, and I’m not talking about sticky notes or highlighters. There seems to be seven figures mysteriously missing from the departments that he oversees.

  I brought up my suspicions with my father a few months ago, and he got upset, claiming that I was trying to sabotage Nick’s chances for the promotion. I’ve looked for proof, but I can’t find any. He’s covered his tracks well. He always has been a smart one.

  “Maybe the factory in Phoenix won’t go down,” Nick says, smirking at Dahlia. “But the one in Summerland definitely will. I’ll make damn sure of that.”

  “Not unless you go down first,” Dahlia says as she gathers her notes and stuffs them into her bag. “With my help, Tyler is definitely going to get the top spot.”

  “Your help?” he says with an amused grin. “You don’t even work here. You work for the Hospitech division, which is now run by me. I want you back in Summerland tomorrow to help prepare for the layoffs.”

  “She’s not going anywhere,” I snap. Both of their heads whip around to me. “You don’t tell her what to do. Ever.”

  “Actually, I do,” he says, gritting his teeth. “She’s my employee.”

  “She’s my wife,” I growl, staring him down. I didn’t realize I was so possessive of her until this moment. “And she’s staying here with me.”

  Nick drops his eyes to the table as his posture turns submissive. He knows better than to mess with me when I’m like this. We’ve gone at it a lot over the years, and I’m sure he hasn’t forgotten all of those black eyes I’ve given him while growing up, so he backs off.

  “She can stay tomorrow,” he says, keeping his eyes on his bag, “just so Mack can see what a laughable mess her proposal is, but next week, she goes back to Summerland.” He turns to her with a smile that I really want to slap off. “And you’ll be the one in charge of handing out the layoffs.”

  Dahlia is breathing heavy with her nostrils flaring as Nick quickly exits the room. It’s just the two of us left in the large conference room now.

  “Was that guy dropped on his head as a baby or something?” she asks, shaking her head. “What an asshole.”

  “Now you see why I want to get the company so bad,” I say, walking around the table to get closer to her. “The whole corporation will be in trouble if he’s in charge.”

  “The whole world will be in trouble if he’s in charge,” she says, rubbing her forehead.

  I walk up to her and sit on the table beside her. “Enough about him,” I say, smiling down at her. “You did fucking great! You killed it!”

  “I did,” she says with a big excited smile on her sexy lips. My heart skips a beat as I stare at them.

  Working with this girl for the week has been pure torture. Her outfits get sexier every day. They’re all work-friendly and professional, but to a hungry lion like me, they’re catnip. Tight skirts that show the tempting curve of her ass, white blouses with just the hint of cleavage; not too much to be unprofessional, but just enough to drive me crazy.

  It’s not just her beautiful face and stunning body that are torturing me, but her smell too. I’ve been working closely with her throughout the week, showing her the ropes of the company, and every time I get a whiff of her vanilla perfume, my dick throbs. She smells delicious, and it always leaves me wondering what she tastes like.

  It kills me that I’ve already tasted her, and done a lot more than that, and I can’t remember any of it. That’s the worst thing about that drunken night. It’s not the marriage, or all the lies, or the strange calls I keep getting from the Sunshine Happy Church. It’s that I had this beautiful girl for a night and I can’t remember a single thing.

  I sigh as I watch her smiling, wondering if I’ll ever get another chance. We’re always bickering and are constantly at each other’s throats, but strangely, I like it.

&n
bsp; She doesn’t annoy me half as much as I let on.

  “Did you see your cousin’s face when I handed him my notes?” she asks, biting her bottom lip as she smiles. “He looked furious! It was awesome!”

  “He’s probably having an angry cry in the janitor’s office,” I say with a chuckle. “And it’s all because of you.”

  She looks thrilled.

  “How do you come up with these ideas?” I ask, staring at her in wonder.

  “It’s easy,” she says, perking up in her seat. She rambles on at a speed I can’t even follow, telling me her in-depth research process, which is anything but easy. I just watch her lips moving as she talks, wondering what she would do if I leaned down and kissed her.

  “So, you’re going to help me?” she asks when she’s finally finished talking.

  “Of course,” I say, holding my hand up. “We’re a team, remember?”

  She slaps her palm on mine for a high-five, but I hold onto her hand, letting the sexual tension build up between us.

  Her cheeks flush an adorable pink as I finally let her go. She takes a deep breath and tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she recovers.

  “We should get started,” she says, looking anywhere but at me as she gets up and heads to the door. “This is going to take all night.”

  My eyes are on her ass as she walks across the conference room, swinging those sexy hips.

  This is going to take all night.

  I grin as her words replay in my head.

  This may turn out even better than I thought.

  I pop open two beers as the clock strikes midnight. We’re in my office surrounded by cold leftover pizza, mountains of spreadsheets, and a few empty bottles of beer.

  Dahlia is sitting at my desk, hard at work. She’s typing furiously on her laptop as I walk over to her and hand her a beer. “Let’s take a break.”