by Claire Thake
On the drive home, she heard her phone beep in her pocket. When she reached a red light, she quickly pulled her phone from her pocket to check it wasn’t an emergency or anything - she saw a message from Greg on the screen.
GregB: Hey beautiful, How are you today?
Leah had been speaking to Greg every day that week and had thoroughly enjoyed the conversations. Reminiscing about their past and about school, and she learnt all about his life after he had moved away. She asked more questions than she answered, not wanting to dive too deep into the depths of her life with Ryan.
Arriving home, she dropped her keys on the side table by the door and hung up her coat. Walking into the kitchen, she grabbed a glass of water and thought about replying to Greg.
She had promised herself she wouldn’t talk to him today and would focus on her family and Ryan in particular, however Ryan had blown them off once again and she felt hurt.
Leah1982: Hey, just got in from the cinema, and getting ready to go out for dinner.
She locked her phone and put it down on the table, taking another long sip of her water before placing the glass in the sink. Walking to the fridge, she opened the door and retrieved a bottle of white wine, before grabbing a wine glass from an upper cabinet and poured herself a large glass. Sipping the cool liquid, she could feel the alcohol have an instant effect on her. She wasn’t a heavy drinker, and nowadays wine went straight to her head.
Leaving the kitchen, with bottle and glass in hand, she went in search of Ryan, knowing he would be in his office. Knocking on the door before she entered, she slowly opened the door, to see her husband typing away on the computer, with a vast amount of papers spread out on the desk.
“The table is reserved for eight,” She said timidly, hoping he wasn’t going to blow her out again. Instead of answering her, without looking, he put his thumb up and continued to type. Leah left the room, feeling deflated and strangely determined all at the same time.
Entering their bedroom, she placed the wine and glass on her dresser and stripped off. She glanced at her naked form in the mirror. For her age, the woman looking back wasn’t in bad shape. She wasn’t overweight and physically she had the body of a girl years younger. Grabbing her glass from the dresser, she finished her wine and poured herself another, taking a big mouthful for courage.
Smiling she walked to their bathroom and turned on the hot shower. Stepping in, she enjoyed the feeling of the hot water running over her skin, and began to relax slightly. Washing her hair and body, she stepped out and dried herself, grabbing her silk robe from the back of the door, and walking back into the bedroom.
Turning her attention back to the wine, she quickly devoured the contents of the glass, before grabbing a comb and gently combing her long hair, and then quickly added a layer of foundation and a slight bit of eye makeup. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she straightened herself up and pushed her shoulders back before making a decision.
Before she could change her mind, she turned and walked out of her bedroom and straight to Ryan’s office. This time, she didn’t knock and instead walked straight in. Ryan glanced up from the computer, annoyance on his face at the intrusion.
Leah walked around to his side of the desk and pushed the papers to one side before sitting on the edge and maneuvering herself so she was sitting in front of him. He raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to speak.
Instead of talking, Leah took a deep breath and undid the tie on her robe, letting it fall off her shoulders, leaving her completely open and vulnerable to his stare.
Leaning forward, Ryan ran his hands up the outside of her thighs, till he reached her waist and pulled her from the table onto his lap.
“So, what’s all this in aid of?” He asked, before kissing her on the shoulder and planting small kisses up her collarbone to her neck.
“I wanted to see my husband. It’s not often I get you all to myself” She replied, goose bumps forming on her arms from his touch. Excitement surged through her at the attention he was paying her, and she began working to undo the buttons on his shirt. Without saying another word, he lifted her from the table, and she wrapped her long slender legs around his waist. He carried her out of the office and to their bedroom, throwing her down on the bed.
*****
Wrapping herself in the duvet, Leah couldn’t help but feel used, empty and frustrated. The most contact she had received from Ryan in months and as soon as he had his way, he had left and gone to have a shower.
Assuming dinner was now off, Leah climbed out of bed and put on her robe and left the room. She didn’t want Ryan to see her so upset and so went downstairs and opened another bottle of wine, not for courage this time, but to drown her sorrows.
Sitting at the kitchen table, she picked up her phone and unlocked the screen, to a few messages from Greg.
GregB: Sounds like a nice evening. Hope you have a good time x
GregB: I know I shouldn’t say this but I miss talking to you this evening. Hope you're having a great time x
Taking a deep breath, Leah responded, saying she didn’t end up going out, before drinking the rest of the glass of wine. Hearing Ryan coming down the stairs she put her phone on silent, locked it and put it in the pocket of her robe.
Ryan entered the room and grabbed a beer from the fridge and leant back against the counter.
“Want me to order a pizza?” he asked, not even looking at Leah.
“Sounds fine,” Leah whispered back, trying hard to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.
“Usual?”
“That’s fine.”
Ryan pushed away from the counter and made his way into the hall to the house phone to call in a pizza order. Leah looked down at her hands and started picking at her nails, wondering how things could really be this bad.
As the evening went on, they ate pizza in silence, with the television blasting the usual rubbish Ryan watched. Leah picked at the peppers on the top of the pizza, her appetite nonexistent. Ryan, however, didn’t have the same issue and stuffed piece after piece into his mouth, whilst texting on his phone, a sly smile crossing his lips.
Leah sat wondering who he was possibly texting and found the green eyed monster of jealousy flaring up in her chest. Was it possible that he was seeing someone else behind her back? Not wanting to think anymore she took two big bites out of the slice she was eating and left the rest on her plate, before standing and taking the plate to the kitchen and grabbing another glass of wine.
When she returned to the living room she found it empty. The pizza box and Ryan’s plate left empty on the coffee table. Sighing Leah cleaned up the mess before curling herself up in the chair and sobbing, silent tears.
Retrieving her phone from her robe pocket, she unlocked the screen and cancelled a message from Greg, opting instead to open her contacts and to scroll down the numbers till she reached Carrie’s house number. It was the only number she could reach Carrie on as where they lived there was no mobile phone signal, so her contact was made either with the house phone or through Facebook online.
It only took a few rings for Leah to get an answer.
“Hey, Leah,” Daniel’s deep voice answered the phone.
“Hey,” Leah replied in a confused tone “How did you know it was me?”
“We had caller display put on the house phone; Makes it easier to avoid the nuisance calls. Hang on I’ll grab Carrie for you,”
Waiting, Leah heard Daniel calling for Carrie, his voice echoing from the old farmhouse walls.
“Hey, Lee! How are you?” Carrie’s cheerful voice filled the line and Leah felt a terrible pang of emotion at how much she missed her best friend.
“Hey babe, I’m not too bad how are things your end?”
“Oh, you know the same ‘ol same ‘ol routine. Trying to fit in work around Tyler’s activities and the farm; it’s such a juggling act, how you do it with 2 children amazes me,” Carrie giggled
“I don’t work though Carrie,
so things are different for me, I have more time remember”
“Yes and you are much more organized than me, always have been”
“I was wondering babe, are you free for visitors weekend after next? It’s been a while and the kids have the following week off school and would love to come and see you all,” As the words left Leah’s mouth, she closed her eyes and she silently prayed they could go and visit. She needed space away from Ryan and picked at her nails nervously waiting for Carrie's answer.
“Oh my, yes that would be amazing!” Carrie answered, the excitement carrying through her voice. “Tyler would love to see Ben! He looks up to him so much! Plus it will be great to see you and have a proper catch-up. Will Ryan be coming too?”
Carrie always asked the question out of politeness but knew what the answer would be. Not once since she had moved to Devon, had Ryan accompanied his wife and Kids down to the farm.
“No, you know how hectic his work schedule is, it will be just me and the kids,” Leah answered swallowing the sadness, and the reminder that her husband never went away with them.
“Great! The barn isn’t booked next week, so you can stay in there instead of us all cramping in the main house will give you all more privacy too! Oh, Lee, I can’t wait now!”
Leah could practically see Carrie bouncing about in excitement, and it brought a smile to her lips. She needed this getaway, things would improve she just had to believe it.
Chapter 4
Sunday arrived and as predicted, Ryan didn’t come out again choosing work over ice skating with the kids.
Leah took a slow drive over to her parents, planning her trip to Devon in her head and counting down the days until she could leave. She hadn’t even told Ryan she was going yet but she knew from past experience that he wouldn’t be bothered either way.
Walking up the drive to her parents’ house, Leah filled with dread. Her mother could always see through her if things were wrong and she had been avoiding spending too much time with her for that very reason. But there was only so long she could avoid her mother and she just knew today was going to be the day she would have to stay a while.
Knocking on the old style oak door, she took a step back and took in a deep breath hoping she could, at least, fool her mother into believing things weren’t that bad.
Opening the door, her stepfather Matthew smiled when he saw his daughter on the doorstep.
“Thank god you’re here” He chuckled “Those kids of yours are wearing us out!”
Stepping into the hallway, she could hear the kids arguing in the kitchen over something trivial.
“Thanks for having them Matt, have they been good?”
“Of course, they have Leah. They are always good for us; I don’t know what you complain about,”
Smiling Leah, followed him into the large airy kitchen, all decorated beautifully all in yellow.
“No mum?” Leah asked when she couldn’t see her mother.
“She’s just popped over to check on Betty. She had a fall last week and can’t get out,”
“Oh no, sorry to hear that, hope she’s ok.”
Betty was a neighbour of Leah’s Grandmothers, and her mother had been close to her growing up and kept in close contact, even all these years later.
Emma bounded up to her mother and gave her a big squeeze before rejoining her brother at the table. Both with magazines, pens and paper spread out in front of them. Leah sighed in relief that she wouldn’t have to face her mother, but felt guilty for thinking it at the same time.
“Is Dad in the car?” Ben asked, his eyes searching his mothers for an answer he knew deep down he wouldn’t get. Leah gently smiled at her son, not wanting to see the disappointment in her words.
“No sweetheart, Dad had work to do,”
“Are we still going ice skating?” Emma jumped in,
“Yes of course. Go and grab your things and we can get going!” Leah replied in a cheerful tone trying to lighten the mood.
Ben slipped from his chair and slowly walked from the room, disappointment etched all over his young face. He adored his father, and they had been so close up until a year or so. Now Ryan didn’t seem to have time for any of them. Emma skipped from the room oblivious to why her brother was so moody.
Leah turned to her stepfather and smiled.
“You need to tell that man of yours not to work so hard.” Her father said, rubbing a hand over his receding hairline.
“You know what he’s like, he lives for his job. He takes good care of us,” Leah said, forcing a smile.
“I don’t doubt that but he will regret it when he’s older and realizes he missed out on all these fun times you have with the kids.”
“He will make it up to us I’m sure,” Leah replied smiling, knowing the chance of that happening was very slim.
Once the kids were ready and had all their stuff, Leah gave her father a kiss on the cheek and packed them all into the car. Relief flooded her as she backed out of the drive, that she had avoided her mother, but made a mental note to call her later that evening.
*****
Standing at the edge of the ice rink, Leah watched the kids play about on the ice, racing each other up and down. Leah sipped her coffee slowly, carefully trying not to burn her tongue on the hot liquid, yet her caffeine addiction was not wanting to wait for it to cool.
Feeling a vibration in her coat pocket, she retrieved her phone. On the screen were messages from Greg and a text message from Ryan. Unlocking the screen she opened the message from Ryan first, hoping it was a message to say he had finished working and would come and meet them, but she should have known better.
On your way back can you grab some beer for the boxing tonight.
No please, no affection in his words, just quick and to the point, not even any kisses at the end. Disappointment and anger surged in her chest, but she quickly scolded herself knowing she shouldn’t have expected anything more, and that she should have known better from past experience, but desperation always kept the hope alive.
Clicking out of the message she opened the app Greg had messaged her in and opened up their conversation. She hadn’t opened it since the previous day and had four unread messages.
GregB: I hope you had a lovely evening. Talk soon xx
GregB: Morning Sweetheart. How’s the head this morning? Hung-over?
GregB: Coming home to visit my brother today, and going flat-hunting. Won’t be long and I will be living near you again. We will have to meet up for a coffee and a catch-up.
GregB: I’m guessing you’re busy being the weekend. Hope you're having a great day. Message me when you are free xxx
A nervous feeling crept over Leah. Greg was moving back into town. He had mentioned this to her before but she didn’t think anything of it but now thinking of it as reality both excited and scared her. But why? She was married now and Greg was in her past, so what if they were now friends, she was allowed friends.
Leah1982: Hey Greg, sorry I haven’t messaged, busy weekend with the kids. Hope the flat hunting went well xx
Placing the phone back into her pocket, she turned her attention back to the kids. Waving as Ben raced passed her and Emma took a tumble at the opposite end of the rink.
*****
Storming into A&E, Ryan glared at Leah from across the room.
“What the hell happened?” he shouted at her.
“Ryan, will you please calm down, she’s fine!” Leah replied, her temper flaring as Ryan seemed to be pointing the finger at her for their daughter getting hurt.
Emma had been showing off in front of some older kids, showing off that she was a better skater, and became too overconfident and had fallen, landing awkwardly on her left arm and managing to break it. The rink had called an ambulance and Leah and Ben had gone straight to the hospital with Emma. Leah had tried to call Ryan but just went through to his voicemail, so she had left a message explaining what had happened and that she would need someone to fetch her car before the ri
nk shut the gates that evening.
Ryan left shortly after with Ben and called a friend to help him fetch Leah’s car, dropping it back to the hospital so Leah and Emma didn’t need to get a cab home. Although Leah could tell he wasn’t in a good mood about it. Luckily A&E wasn’t very busy and Emma was seen quickly and her arm plastered, so Leah and Emma could leave.
On the way home Leah pulled into the supermarket, parking as near to the front doors as possible.
“Do you need to get a lot mum?” Emma asked, clearly not excited at doing any shopping.
“I just need to get some bits for your father. I tell you what; since I’m going to be quick today do you want to stay in the car?”
A happy smile spread across Emma’s face. “Thank you, mum, would you grab me a magazine?” Emma asked with a cheeky grin.
“Ok but on one condition, you know the rules, no talking to strangers, no getting out of the car, and if anyone tries anything you push the horn and get everyone’s attention,”
Emma rolled her eyes at her mother. “Yes mum, you have told me the rules a thousand times!”
Leah left the car, a nervous feeling in her stomach. She hated leaving the kids alone in the car and probably always would, no matter how old they got.
Leah rushed around the supermarket, grabbing a girlie magazine for Emma, a gaming magazine for Ben, beer and nibbles for Ryan for the boxing that night, and she treated herself to some scented candles and bubble bath.
Walking to the checkouts, she was completely in a world of her own, the events of the day taking their toll on her.
“Leah?”
“Oh my god Leah is that you?”
Spinning around, at the sound of her voice, the breath caught in Leah’s throat. Standing in front of her, was a reminder of her past, and he had hardly changed over the years; still ridiculously handsome, with short dark brown hair, and a light dusting of stubble across his face.