by Susan Lewis
Merely to think of Rose and how she’d been the last time he’d seen her caused a pang of longing to sear through his heart. Over all these years he’d never stopped loving her, and knew he never would. Was it possible she’d say the same about him? Douglas had loved her well, he knew that, and she’d loved Douglas too, but what he and Rose had shared, what had bound them together back then and still did as far as he was concerned, went even deeper than love. It defied words as surely as it defied understanding, because what had happened to them, between them and because of them had no rhyme or reason, nor, until they were no longer a part of this world, would it ever have an end. The love and longing, just like the nightmare, went on and on, as cruel and inescapable as the mistakes that had torn them apart and the decisions that turned out to be wrong. They knew life’s injustices first-hand, they’d learned what it was to be punished with the kind of vengeance no merciful god would ever inflict.
Was he wrong to be in Cromstone now? What good could come of trying to recapture what had been lost, when the most precious thing of all could never be found? He was doing it for Pippa, and, in truth, for himself too, because he surely deserved to know his children before it was too late. Would Rose allow him that? Would God, or fate, or whatever governed the unpredictable journey of life, continue to stand in his way? Tomorrow evening he would come face to face with his son. Thinking of it made him as fearful as it made him euphoric, but he knew he wouldn’t back away from it now. Sarah, the beautiful, tragic and wonderful girl who was so like her mother in some ways, but more like Douglas in others, didn’t belong to him, but Simon and Becky did. He wondered if they knew that. Had Rose ever told them? It didn’t seem that she’d told Sarah, and the pact they’d made between them over thirty years ago didn’t allow her to tell Simon and Becky either. Had Rose kept to it? How difficult was it going to be for her when she discovered that he was breaking it himself?
Seeing Lucy coming up the lane from the barn as he drove the truck in, he came to a stop. ‘I’ve just brought your daughter home,’ he told her. ‘She’s with Pippa on the Wii.’
Smiling as she rolled her eyes, Lucy said, ‘You spoil her, you two.’
He wished he could tell her why it meant so much to him to be able to, but if he did he’d probably scare her, and for all the world he wouldn’t want to do that. ‘I’ve two matching leather sofas in the back from Helen Granger,’ he said. ‘Is anyone around to help me unload?’
‘Joe should be here any minute,’ she answered. ‘If you leave them where they are till he comes, I’ll make you a nice cup of tea while you’re waiting. It’ll be a good opportunity for me to tell you what happened here while you were out.’
He looked intrigued.
‘Let’s put it this way,’ she said, ‘if you’re still in touch with the man who told you about an insider ring, it could be very helpful.’
Swallowing, he said, ‘No, I’m not, but maybe we could find him.’
‘I’ll go and put the kettle on.’
As she turned away he sat with his hands resting lightly on the wheel, his mind in bitter turmoil as he watched her go. Lucy Winters, he’d decided, was special in a way that could almost break his heart. She was fond of him too, he could tell, but she didn’t know yet that he’d met the man she’d mentioned while sharing his prison cell. However, he guessed she’d find out sooner or later – he just hoped it wouldn’t turn her against him.
Chapter Thirteen
‘ARE YOU COMPLETELY out of your mind?’ Joe cried in despair. ‘Why the hell are you trusting total strangers with this?’
‘Michael Givens is our lawyer,’ Lucy shot back, going to close the office door, ‘and John here is part of the team now. And will you please keep your voice down. Mum and Dad are in the kitchen. I don’t want them hearing this.’
‘They’re the ones you should be talking to, for God’s sake. And actually, your mother went over to the church about ten minutes ago, so she isn’t there anyway.’
Since this was the third time in as many days that her mother had gone to pray in solitude Lucy felt her misgivings increasing, since she felt sure she must be seeking guidance over what to do about the problems in which Maureen had enmeshed them. ‘I don’t want to discuss this with them,’ she told Joe, ‘because I’m pretty sure it’s what’s stressing my mother out, so I’d rather she got herself as far away from it as possible, as soon as possible, so that I can deal with it.’
Joe glanced at John, who was perched on one of the desks looking as awkward as lot number forty-four, which was the warped mirror behind him. ‘No offence,’ Joe told him, ‘but I hope you’re taking my point. Lucy hasn’t even known you a month and she’s confiding in you like you’re family, when for all she knows you could be in on it.’
‘Oh for heaven’s sake,’ Lucy snapped furiously. ‘Of course he’s not in on it.’
‘How do you know that?’
‘She doesn’t for certain,’ John conceded, ‘but I can assure you I’m not. Apart from being completely averse to illegal activities, particularly those that involve defrauding innocent people of what is rightfully theirs, I also happen to be comfortably enough off not to have to participate in them.’
Joe regarded him dubiously. ‘That might be true,’ he retorted, ‘but I’m trying to look out for my wife’s best interests here, because if there is some kind of insider ring operating, then you, Lucy – or more likely your parents – could end up taking the rap.’
‘I’m fully aware of that, thank you very much,’ she told him angrily, ‘which is why I’ve enlisted the help of friends rather than the authorities for the moment, to see if we can track down who Maureen and Godfrey are working with.’
‘And these friends would be of how long standing? What can you actually tell me about any of them that could convince me you’re not being taken for a fool?’
Lucy’s eyes flashed. ‘I’ve just told you Michael’s a lawyer.’
‘Yeah, bloody crooks the lot of them.’
‘Oh, I don’t know why I’m bothering to waste my time. And I don’t see why I have to convince you of anything. This is my business …’
‘Oh, I was waiting for that. I suppose next you’ll be telling me that the children are yours, and this house, and everything else we own …’
‘We don’t own anything!’
‘I think I should probably be going,’ John interrupted, getting to his feet.
‘No, please stay,’ Lucy protested. ‘I’m sorry we’re going off at a tangent, so let’s try to get it back on track. And Joe, please start trying to be helpful, instead of persuading yourself that I’m surrounded by a bunch of villains, when I left all that behind three weeks ago.’
Joe’s face tightened. ‘Oh, that’s nice, that is. I suppose we’re talking about my family now …’
‘Let’s try to forget I said that …’
‘And what are Maureen and Godfrey, if they aren’t a couple of fraudsters? Or that’s what you’re trying to tell me, so don’t give me all your crap about being surrounded by the archangel and his harpists …’
‘Enough!’ Lucy cut in. ‘I can see we’re not going to get anywhere.’
‘All right, all right. Just tell me, how well do you actually know this Givens chap?’
Wanting to scream, Lucy said, ‘I’ve just told you, he’s a lawyer, and if you ever listened to anything I said you’d know that he’s been representing Mum and Dad since they moved here. His firm also oversaw the transfer of everything to my name.’
‘And that’s got to make me trust him?’
‘Joe,’ John said gently, ‘if you don’t mind me saying, I for one am happy to trust Lucy’s judgement as far as the lawyer’s concerned.’
Bristling, Joe said, ‘That’s great. You, a stranger, are happy to trust a lawyer I believe you don’t even know.’
‘Sarah has, for most of her life,’ Lucy cut in.
‘And you’ve known Sarah for how long?’
Lucy’s face darkened.
‘You’ve met her, you know what she’s like, so you tell me, do you really believe she’s the type to get involved in a fraud, or to deceive me like that?’
‘I guess, on the face of it, no I don’t,’ he conceded, ‘but you can’t deny she’s a part of the toff world which is a place the likes of you and me know nothing about, because it’s all inbreeding, dodgy handshakes and secret societies that make it their business …’
‘Joe, please stop,’ she groaned. Then to John, ‘I’m sorry my husband’s behaving like a class bigot who apparently suffers from an inferiority complex …’
‘Don’t apologise for me.’
‘Well someone has to, because if you could hear yourself …’
‘All I’m trying to do is make you understand that you need to be more careful about where you put your trust, because you haven’t been here more than five minutes and you’re still a novice at all this. You’ve got no idea what kind of hornet’s nest you might have landed in, and …’
‘For what it’s worth,’ John interrupted, ‘your wife’s been doing a grand job of running this place so far, and I’m sure she’s a very good judge of character.’
‘Well, you would think so, given that you’re one of the new chaps on the block …’
‘Joe!’
‘I’m joking,’ he cried. ‘Honest to God, why do you have to take everything so seriously?’
‘Because this is serious. We’re talking about a crime that could land Mum up in court, or worse, jail, and let’s not forget that Maureen’s already made threats to that end. So now we have to decide what needs to be done.’
For all his bluff and bluster, Joe found himself looking to John for guidance.
‘For the moment I think Lucy’s doing the right thing,’ John told him. ‘The auction’s going ahead, as planned, and we’re all going to be on the lookout for anything odd, or anyone who seems suspicious. Meanwhile Sarah’s going through the books to see …’
‘At the risk of repeating myself,’ Joe expostulated, ‘Lucy’s handing over to strangers. Apart from you, they’ve all been in this neck for most of their lives, and she’s only just turned up …’
‘Don’t talk about me as if I’m not here,’ Lucy snapped. ‘And if you’re so worried about Sarah going through the archives, perhaps you’d like to do it. After all, you’re family, so it stands to reason you’ll be able to understand everything, and be trusted, and know what to do when you find what you’re looking for.’
‘Don’t be cute.’
‘Then come up with something a little more productive than simply criticising everything I’m doing.’
‘That’s just it, I’m no more an expert at any of this than you are.’
‘So where, in your book, does that leave us?’
‘In my book I think we should be talking to an independent lawyer.’
‘OK, you do that. I’m happy with Michael, but if you want to draft in someone else, at your expense, you go right ahead.’
John glanced at his watch. ‘I really ought to be going,’ he said. ‘Pippa’ll be wondering where I am.’
‘Yes, of course,’ Lucy said, wishing he would stay, but understanding how embarrassed he must be by now. ‘I’m sorry we kept you so long, I was hoping … Well, it doesn’t matter now. If Hanna’s still at your place will you let her know her father’s here? I’m sure she’ll want to see him before she races off to wherever she’s going for the evening.’
‘Will do,’ John replied, and picking up the wonky mirror to take over to the barn on his way out, he added, ‘I’m off to Cirencester for a set of garden furniture in the morning, so I should be back with it around eleven, if that suits. What time are your parents leaving? I don’t want to be in the way.’
‘I think around ten,’ she answered, the familiar dread of parting closing around her like a trap. She seemed to be getting worse, because right at this moment she wasn’t too keen on letting John go either, though she guessed that was because she wasn’t much looking forward to being left alone with Joe.
As it turned out she managed to avoid it for a while, as seconds after John left Hanna came bouncing in through the door, throwing herself straight into her father’s arms as though she hadn’t seen him for a month.
‘Grandpa said you were here,’ she gushed. ‘It’s so cool, because now you can come out with us for their farewell dinner. You know, everyone round here remembers who you are, well most of them anyway, and it’s so cool that you’re a celebrity. Ow Dad, you’re squeezing too hard.’
Laughing as he let her go, Joe cupped her lovely young face in his hands and planted a smackeroo on her forehead. ‘You’re looking gorgeous,’ he told her, ‘and there was me thinking you were wasting away down here.’
‘Oh no, it’s really cool most of the time. I mean, I still miss my friends in London, and I wish Ben was here, but he texts me most days, and you were right about me making loads of friends here, because I have, and they’re not a bit like I was expecting.’
Lucy’s eyebrows rose, since the prediction about new friends had been hers. However, she was happy for Joe to take the credit if it was going to make him feel more included – something, she realised now, that she really wasn’t managing very well at all.
‘So am I getting to meet them?’ Joe was saying. ‘What news on Lucas, by the way? Any texts yet?’
Hanna’s cheeks turned pink. ‘Actually, he’s sent two, but I haven’t replied because I don’t want him to think I’m just hanging around waiting for him to come back.’
‘That’s my girl, treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen. You’ll have him eating out of your hand, you wait and see.’
Glowing at the thought, Hanna glanced at her mother. ‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ she demanded.
‘Like what?’ Lucy replied, mystified.
Hanna shrugged. ‘Like you want to bite my head off. Anyway, Dad, did you remember to bring a photo of you as a baby like I told you? We’re going to get Juju’s mum to see if she can pick you out. Or Annie, Marietta’s mum … Actually, we could always ask Pippa. She’s so cool, even though she’s quite old. You should see her boxing on the Wii Fit, she’s brilliant at it.’
‘And Pippa would be?’
‘John’s sister,’ Lucy told him.
‘She wears this eyepatch,’ Hanna ran on. ‘You’d think it would make her look a bit weird, like a pirate or something, but actually it’s dead funky. Yep, I definitely think we should get her to see if she can pick you out, and maybe you should try to spot her. Except that would be a bit obvious …’ She gave a choke of laughter. ‘Though I don’t suppose she was wearing an eyepatch as a baby … Anyway, we’ll work it out. So, have you got the photo, because if you have we can drop it into the pub on our way out.’
‘I have indeed,’ he informed her. ‘It’s in my bag, so …’
‘Yay!’ she cried, leaping up in the air. ‘That means you’ll definitely be coming for the fete. I knew you would. Ben kept saying you’d probably be working with Charlie or Vince, or going for an audition, so I shouldn’t get my hopes up …’
‘Well, I guess Ben’s right up to a point, because if something does come up … but I don’t expect it will,’ he said hastily as her face started to drop.
‘I think we should go inside now,’ Lucy told her, dismayed by how hard she was finding it to share Hanna’s enthusiasm for Joe’s presence at the fete. She wasn’t especially thrilled by how left out she was feeling, either, having had no idea that the children were in such regular contact with each other, and their father. Why hadn’t she known that? Had Hanna told her and she’d failed to listen, or was it simply more important to keep in touch with Joe?
Berating herself for such ludicrous jealousy, she started to turn off the computers as Hanna, still chattering away, linked Joe’s arm to walk back to the farmhouse.
‘So, how’s it going with the new agent?’ she was asking as they left. ‘Don’t tell me he cancelled again, that would be so out of order.’
He? Lucy was thinking. The last she’d heard the new agent was a she.
‘I’m afraid he did,’ Joe admitted, ‘but he had to because something major cropped up. He’s definitely going to see me on Monday though, and if he lets me down again, well, who cares, I’ve got someone else interested in seeing me on Wednesday who knows Kenneth Branagh’s agent.’
Hearing Hanna’s groan of dismay as she realised he wasn’t going to be around for the auction, Lucy tried not to feel relieved, while wondering if she should have been feeling guilty for not paying attention when he’d told her about another new agent. In fact, she’d been so busy since she’d last seen Joe that she’d barely spoken to him, so perhaps it wasn’t surprising that he’d gone on the attack almost as soon as he’d arrived. He must be feeling angry and not a little resentful that she’d barely said hello before loading him with the legal issues, which she’d clearly discussed with everyone else before even mentioning them to him.
Deciding to make more of an effort to take an interest in his world over the weekend, and to downplay her absorption with the upcoming auction, she quickly made sure everything was off before setting the alarm and locking up. John had warned her before Joe arrived to be extra vigilant from now on, since they didn’t want any mysterious burglaries or acts of vandalism resulting in the loss of documents or computers that might have contained some damning information. So, after checking that the barn was fully alarmed too, she started over to the kitchen, clicking on her mobile as it rang.
‘Hi, everything OK?’ she asked.
‘More than,’ Sarah replied. ‘Simon just rang and guess what? He’s on his way down the M4 even as we speak.’
Lucy blinked with astonishment.
‘It turns out he flew into London for a meeting this morning which finished about an hour ago, so he decided to come straight here rather than go all the way back to Paris for one day. I’m so thrilled I can hardly contain myself.’
Smiling, Lucy said, ‘That’s fantastic news. I can’t wait to meet him.’