by E. L. Todd
I chuckled. “I assure you, I’m not.”
“I don’t know.”
I kissed the corner of her mouth. “Shut up about this. It’s annoying me.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I guess my body is changing and it’s stressful.”
“I know, darling. It’s a lot to handle. But don’t ever question your beauty.” I looked her in the eye as I spoke. “Because you’re the most beautiful thing in the world to me.”
Chapter Five
Silke
I’d been busting my ass for Trinity’s wedding. She needed flower arrangements, cake updates, and everything else you can think of. I was burnt out and exhausted. I hadn’t even seen Arsen that much, to our displeasure. But I sucked it up and dealt with it. Arsen and I would have our time together.
I was sitting at the kitchen table when there was a knock on my door. It was almost ten in the evening and I wasn’t sure who would drop by at this hour. If it were Arsen, he usually texted me beforehand.
I looked through the peephole and saw a man leaning against the opposite wall. He wore a black leather jacket and dark jeans. His face was difficult to make out because he was too far away. But he had dark hair and a fair complexion.
Was it Arsen?
I cracked the door and took a peek.
It was Arsen leaning against the wall, his ankles crossed. His hands were in his pockets and he wasn’t looking at me. He stared down the hall, like he was indifferent to me. I felt like I just stepped through time. “Arsen?”
He slowly turned my way, like his reflexes were slow. “Hey.” That was all he said.
I stepped out and approached him, looking him up and down. “Nice jacket.”
“You like that, sweetheart?” His eyes smoldered with desire and confidence. “But I bet you’d rather see it on your bedroom floor.”
I was definitely in the past. “Hello, old Arsen.”
“Hello, Beauty.” He tilted his head to the side and checked me out. “You want to grab a drink?”
“It’s tempting…”
He stood up straight. “I bet it is.” He brought his lips close to mine but didn’t kiss me. “Now hurry your ass up. If you dawdle, I might not still be here.”
“Pushy…”
“I just have a lot of girls on my list that wouldn’t make me wait.”
I played along. “Then why don’t you go out with them instead?” I challenged.
“I’m already here,” he said. “And you have the nicest ass.”
I rolled my eyes and walked back inside. “Let me grab something.”
He leaned against the wall again and didn’t try to come inside. It was exactly something the old Arsen would do.
I entered my bedroom and pulled out the jacket he gave me for Christmas. It was black and made of leather, and on the back was written the name Beauty. When we broke up, I packed it into a box and tried to forget about it. But I didn’t have the strength to throw it away. It was just too hard. And now I was grateful I didn’t. I pulled it on then headed to the door.
Arsen looked bored, like it didn’t really matter if I came out or not. But when he looked at me, his eyes narrowed on my jacket. When he recognized it, his eyes softened. The new Arsen shined through, the sensitive and caring man he’d become. “You still have it…?”
I turned around and showed him my name on the back. “Yep. And I look damn good in it.”
He pressed his hand to my back and felt the stitching. “I just assumed you threw it away.”
“I never could.” I turned back around and watched his face.
He continued to stare at the jacket, mesmerized. “It looks good on you.”
“I wonder how it would look with nothing underneath…”
The meaning in my words brought Arsen back to reality and the moment we were in. His sentimental side faded to the background, and the cocky and arrogant man I used to know returned. “Ready to hit the road, sweetheart?”
“Yep.”
He walked beside me and put his hands in his pockets, not touching me. He retained his aura of indifference, hiding most of himself from view. He was guarded once again, like he trusted me but only a small amount.
“Where are we headed?” I asked when we reached the sidewalk.
“Biker bar.”
“Interesting choice.”
“You scared?” He eyed me from the corner of his eye.
“I’m not scared of anything.”
“Well, you should never be scared when you’re with me.” He still didn’t touch me, his hands placed deep into his pockets.
We didn’t say anything else as we walked side-by-side. Arsen watched the people we passed on the sidewalk. But he didn’t pay any specific attention to me. He was indifferent but aware of me at the same time.
I missed the old Arsen sometimes because he was dangerous and exciting. Not knowing what he was thinking made me want to know what he was thinking even more. His indifference only made me crave more attention. But I preferred the new Arsen. He was mature, straightforward, and very loving. I never wondered what he was thinking because he always made it clear. But having both sides of him was preferable.
We entered the bar and he didn’t open the door for me. He immediately walked ahead of me then approached the bartender. “Two shots.”
I stood beside him and looked around. A group of bikers were sitting in the corner. A few girls were on their laps, and rock music played overhead. It wasn’t our normal scene but it was fun to do something different.
Arsen grabbed his glass and clanked it against mine. “Bottoms up.”
I downed my glass like a pro.
He did the same then wiped his lips. “Me and the lady want another.” He rapped his knuckles against the counter.
The bartender refilled them.
Arsen passed me mine. “Can you handle another?”
“You know I can handle more than another.”
He downed his without reacting.
I finished mine and felt the burn all the way down to my stomach.
A group of girls nearby were making eyes at Arsen. I was immediately irritated and wanted to claim him but I refrained from doing so. Our relationship was different tonight.
“A game of pool?” he offered.
“I can handle a stick pretty well.”
“I picked up on that…” He flashed me a smolder before he headed to the table.
We grabbed our sticks then set the rack.
Arsen leaned over then broke the balls in the center of the table. He sunk two stripes. Then he went again since he made them in. “All yours, sweetheart.”
I found my shot then leaned over.
Arsen came behind me and pressed into me, his definition pressed into my ass. “Drop your arm. It’s a little high.”
“Like this?” I moved my arm.
“Just like that.” He smacked my ass and walked away.
I hit the ball and sunk in a solid.
Arsen crossed his arms over his chest and gave me a nod of approval.
I went around to the other side of the table and lined up my next shot.
Like before, Arsen came behind me and pressed his hard-on into me. I discreetly shook my ass into him, liking the way he felt pressed against me. His lips found my ear and he released a moan so faint I almost didn’t hear it.
“So, what guidance do you have this time?”
“None.” He pressed into me harder, his hard-on right between my cheeks. Then he walked away.
His action gave me goose bumps. I tried to clear the sensation and take the shot but it was difficult. I made the shot but none of the balls went in. My mind was elsewhere.
“Better luck next time.” He leaned over the table then made three balls in at once.
“Show off,” I mumbled.
He shot me a grin but didn’t give me a smartass comment.
We kept playing, and like always, Arsen won.
“You’re supposed to let me win.”
“You don’t strike me as the kind of girl who likes an empty victory.”
“But I like a gentleman.”
He released a sarcastic laugh. “You aren’t getting that from me.”
I hung up my pool stick then turned to him. “Now what? You’re taking me to dinner?”
“Dinner?” he asked in surprise. “Who said anything about dinner?”
“It’s what people do on dates.”
He leaned toward me, close enough so no one else could hear. “I bought you two shots and paid for a round of pool. Now you’re going to let me fuck you in the men’s bathroom.”
His words should be offensive but they weren’t. Actually they turned me on.
“Now get your ass in there.” He nodded toward the bathroom as he headed inside.
I followed him, unable to believe we were doing this. We’d done crazy stuff before, but not since we got back together. That strip club was different because it was dark and loud. If someone were in the bathroom, they would be able to hear everything we were doing.
He pulled me into a stall and unlocked it. Then he undid the top of his jeans and let his cock hang out without pulling down his pants. “Put one foot on the toilet seat.” He turned me around and made me face the wall.
I put one foot on the lid.
He came behind me then pulled my underwear over. Then he slipped inside me with one fluid motion. “Be as loud as you want. I want everyone to know you’re being fucked—and by who.”
***
When I woke up the next morning, I was alone. Arsen wasn’t in the bedroom, and I assumed he was somewhere in the kitchen. I rolled over and hugged his pillow, treasuring his smell.
The door cracked, and the smell of coffee accompanied it. “Awake, sleepyhead?” His usual tone of voice had returned, loving and tender.
“I woke up to your absence. It was a bit depressing.”
He smiled then sat at the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry, Beauty. I had to get ready.” He wore dark jeans and a t-shirt, his muscles looking ripped.
My hand snaked to his on the bed. “You got plans?”
His lips widened in a beautiful smile. His joy sparkled in his eyes. I recognized the look because he only made it for one person. “I get Abby today.”
I loved Abby. She was the cutest damn thing in the world. But I hated who came along with Abby—Lydia. It didn’t seem like Lydia mentioned my visit to Arsen since Arsen hadn’t mentioned it. I wasn’t sure why she would keep it a secret. How did that benefit her? “That’s exciting.”
“I think I’m going to take her to Funworks. She loves that place.”
“And she’ll bring home more useless toys.”
He chuckled. “Yeah. But she has a lot of fun.” His hand moved through my hair. “You’re coming, right?”
I loved spending time with Arsen and Abby. She was like a daughter to me. But I didn’t want to see Lydia. It was hard for me not to punch her. I would if she didn’t have Arsen by the balls. “It’s okay.”
Arsen’s eyes fell in sadness. “Why not?”
“You guys should spend alone time together.”
“All she’ll do is ask for you,” he said. “That’s what she always does.”
That warmed my heart.
“Is it Lydia?”
Arsen could read my mind sometimes.
I shrugged in response.
“Don’t worry about her,” he said. “I’ll handle her.”
“How about I meet you back here?”
His eyes narrowed in irritation. “I’m not going to hide you. I don’t give a damn if that pisses off Lydia. She learned her lesson last time she tried to keep Abby from me.”
“Why can’t she just die?” I blurted. I cringed the second I said the words. It was a horrible thought to have. Arsen would think less of me, and he should think less of me.
Arsen stared at me but there was no disapproval in his eyes.
“I’m sorry…”
He rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. “I understand your frustration. I hate this situation too. But it won’t always be this way. Somewhere down the road, it’ll work out.”
“How do you know?”
He shook his head slightly. “I don’t. I just hope it does.”
I sighed and closed my eyes, feeling terrible for Arsen. All he wanted was to be a good father but Lydia was making that as difficult as possible just because she wanted him all to herself.
“I’m sorry I’ve put you through so much.” His fingers moved to my hair. “I keep doing it even though I promised I wouldn’t.”
My hand found his. “It’s not your fault, Arsen.”
“If it were anything else I wouldn’t put up with it. But Abby—”
“You don’t have to explain yourself, Arsen. I love you because you fight for your daughter. If you turned your back on her, I would despise you.”
He stared at me for a long time. “My dream is to have Abby live with me. I would take her to school every day, pick her up and help her with her homework, and then cook dinner for her every night. It would be a lot of work and a lot of time but it’s what I want most. And I want you to share that experience with me and give me more children. I just want us to be a family. It kills me that it has to be this way.”
“I know.”
He pulled his hand away and stood up. “I should get going. I’ve never been late before and I don’t want to be late now. Are you coming?”
I didn’t want to see Lydia but I knew I had to. “Sure. Just let me change.”
***
When Lydia opened the door, she gave Arsen a smile that reached her eyes. Her eyes roamed over his body, taking in his wide chest and muscular arms. Her attraction was obvious to anyone who wasn’t blind.
And I had to stand there and watch it.
If she were anyone else, she’d be on the floor. Nobody checks out my man and gets away with it. But I was helpless in this situation, unable to do anything but stand there and stare.
When Lydia looked at me, there was nothing but coldness.
“Hi.” Maybe being nice first would make her be nice back.
She ignored me.
Bitch.
Abby ran to the door. “Daddy is here!” She had her small bag over her shoulder. “And Silke!” Her eyes glowed like diamonds when she saw me. Then she ran into my legs and almost knocked me over.
Arsen stared at us with a distinct smirk on his lips.
Lydia looked like she wanted to rip my head off.
“How’s it going, sweetheart?” I asked, smiling down at her.
“Good. I’m so happy to see you.” Abby looked up at me with the beautiful blue eyes identical to her father’s.
“I’m happy to see you too.”
Arsen grabbed her bag and put it over his shoulder. “I’ll return her tomorrow night,” he said to Lydia.
Lydia pressed her lips tightly together, like she was stopping herself from screaming.
Arsen acted like he didn’t notice the rage in her eyes. “I’ll have her call you at bedtime. Then he grabbed Abby’s hand and walked with her down the hallway. I walked on the other side of Abby. Together, we disappeared from Lydia’s view—as a family.
***
We had a great day with Abby. She wore both of us out because she constantly needed to run around and never seemed to slow down. Arsen managed to keep up with her. I had to catch my breath a few times.
Sleeping with Arsen while Abby was in the other room was weird in the beginning. But now that she stayed with both of us a few times it didn’t seem odd. When she saw me in the morning she didn’t ask why I was there. Arsen was in a particularly good mood when Abby was around. He was always happy when he was with me, but he had a special radiance to him when she was there for the weekend.
After breakfast on Sunday, I got a text message from Cayson. He never texted me so I thought it was weird. Hey, I need you to babysit Slade.
Did I read that right? Sorry?
I have to go into w
ork today and I can’t leave him alone. Can you and Arsen hang out with him?
What was he talking about? Why can’t you leave him alone? Is he a flight risk?
No. But he isn’t living with Trinity right now and he’s struggling with it. Only when he’s distracted does he not think about it. So, can you guys help me out? Everyone else is busy.
I knew Arsen just wanted to be with Abby but he also liked having Slade around. And he was my brother so I should be there for him. Yeah, I guess.
Great, I’ll drop him off in fifteen minutes.
You’re acting like he’s a child.
Come on, it’s Slade. He is a child.
Arsen was playing with Abby on the living room floor so I approached him and tapped him on the shoulder. “Can I talk to you for a second?”
“Sure.” He rose to his feet and came with me. Abby was so absorbed in her toys she didn’t notice.
“What’s up?” he asked.
“I know how weird this is going to sound but just hear me out.”
“Okay…” He had a suspicious look in his eyes.
“Slade has been living with Cayson for the past week.”
“Why?” he asked with a cocked eyebrow.
“Trinity wanted them to be apart before the wedding.”
He nodded his head in understanding.
“Anyway, Cayson has to go into work today and he doesn’t want to leave Slade alone. So he’s dropping him off here for the day.”
Arsen looked confused. “Why can’t he be alone…?”
“I guess he’s really depressed being apart from Trinity,” I said. “He needs a distraction." I cringed in apology. “I said he could come over. I’m sorry. I know this is your weekend with Abby…”
His face broke out in a smile. “He’s more than welcome to come over. I like Slade. And he’s family.”
“You aren’t mad?” I said in relief.
“Why would I be mad? Slade is a great guy.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “When he isn’t shitting in a car…”
I chuckled. “That day will live in infamy.”
“Slade can come over whenever he wants. It’s really not a big deal.”
“Okay.” I finally relaxed.
“As long as he keeps the bad language out of the house.”
“I’ll tell him.”
“Thank you.” He returned to the living room with Abby.