by R. R. Banks
I didn't want to mention that the thought of actually raising a child scared the hell out of me and that it was comforting to think that she would be going through the trenches with me. It might not be so bad if Cherry was my partner in this mess.
"I don't really know what to say," she finally replied. "Can I think about it for a couple of days?"
"Of course," I said. "Whenever you're ready to talk about it in more detail, just let me know." I met her eyes and felt the tightening in my lower belly again. I shoved those thoughts out of my mind and focused instead on the feasibility of what I had proposed. "I think that this could be really great for both of us.
Cherry
What in the hell just happened?
One minute I was trying to find a tasteful and even possibly sexy way to eat lo mein – which, spoiler alert, doesn’t exist – and the next Gabriel asked me to have his baby. Not just have his baby but enter into a contract to have his baby. He wanted me to be an incubator.
Maybe that's why he fed me so much the last two days. He was making sure I had enough fat to nourish a baby.
I sat in the bathtub and stared at my upside-down reflection in the gold-plated faucet. This oversized, ancient, claw-footed tub was my favorite feature of the apartment and the main reason that I rented here in the first place, even though the buildings were older, the square footage was nonexistent, and I had to put on clothes and leave the comfort of my apartment to wash my dirty underwear and bras. Not that I would do laundry naked that frequently, even if given the chance, but it sure would be nice to have that option sometimes. Instead, I have to walk across my back patio, through a courtyard, and in between two buildings to get to the washing machines. The bathtub was a throwback to the early days of the building. I knew from spending time over at Jess's place that not all the buildings had them and I felt fortunate that I got to live in one of the handful that survived the modernization process.
The water and bubbles covered me up to my chin. I had splurged by using one of the bath bombs I had gotten for my birthday earlier in the year. I basically felt like I was floating on top of a foamy lemon meringue pie. It was my own version of a sensory deprivation tank and I hoped that it would help me focus on the decision in front of me. This was by far the most difficult decision that I had ever made. This would change my life forever. I thought of all the potential challenges this situation presented to me.
The physical challenges of being pregnant and giving birth.
The cold, legal logistics of the contract.
The emotional weight of carrying Gabriel's child and being linked to him for the rest of my life.
But at the same time, I knew that he was right when he said that this could be great for both of us. I knew what he would get out of it. Having a child with me meant that his father would accept Gabriel had grown up and was committed to the business and continuing the family legacy. Gabriel would be able to inherit and wield total control of the massive corporate empire his family had built. For me, the benefits were less straightforward but more varied.
With my mother's health getting more complicated and her condition worsening, the cost of tests, hospital visits, medications, treatments, and everything else that came along with it, was astronomical. The insurance covered some of it, but I knew that it was only a matter of time before they stopped covering things. Dad's pension only made a dent in the expenses. With Gabriel's help, I know that my mother would have the very best care, as well as a chance at more expensive, aggressive treatments and medications. A new house would give her more space and allow her to escape from some of the bad memories that surrounded her every day.
If I did this, I wouldn't have to worry so much. I wouldn't have to overthink every single thing and plan with a constant feeling of anxiety – that something was going to happen to make everything topple down. I would be able to relax and maybe even focus on the passions that I had set aside so that I could focus on my responsibilities. I could start painting again. I could enjoy being creative again, something that hadn’t been tapped into for so long.
My mind eventually went to Brent. When our father died, he promised me that he was going to take his place and care for mom and me. He was going to be the man of the house and make sure that we were provided for and protected. I trusted him so much. I looked up to him with everything that I had in me. His death felt like I had lost my father all over again.
Thinking about my brother made me realize how important this decision really was. Doing this could help me fulfill the promise that he made to our mother. I knew that both my father and my brother would want me to take care of her and to give her the best life possible. This was a way that I could do that. I also knew that Brent loved and trusted Gabriel like he had been born into our family.
I climbed out of the bath and dried my hand before picking up my phone and calling Gabriel. He picked it up almost instantly as if he had been waiting for my call.
"Can we get together and talk?" I asked.
"Absolutely," he said. "Where?"
"You can come over to my apartment," I said.
"Alright. When?"
"An hour?"
"I'll see you then."
I put my phone down and wrapped a towel around myself. I hadn't intended on letting Gabriel ever see where I lived. But, as I was about to agree to carry his baby inside of my body, I might as well let him inside my apartment.
Jess would have been so proud. My door was actually locked when Gabriel got there. I unlocked it and invited him in before padding back to the couch in my favorite thick socks. Summer was definitely on its way, but one last rush of cold night air was giving me a reprieve before the scorching heat, and I intended to take full advantage of it with snug toes and an oversized comfy sweatshirt. In honor of Gabriel being there, I chose one that still had the majority of its manufacturer intended thickness.
"Did you need to talk about this more? "he asked. "Do you have any more questions or anything?"
"No," I said. "I've actually made my decision."
"Really?" he asked.
"Is something wrong?"
"No, I'm just surprised that you made a decision so fast. I thought that it would take you longer."
I suddenly felt less confident.
"Do you want me to think about it more?" I asked, filled with uncertainty.
"No," he said. "At least, I don't think I want you to think about it more. I guess that really depends on what decision you made."
"Yes," I said.
I had meant to have some sort of build up or to at least start talking about the specifics before I revealed my decision, but it sort of just burst out of me. Gabriel stared at me and for a second, I wondered if I had actually said it or if I had just imagined the word flying out of my mouth. Finally, I saw him smile.
"Yes?" he asked.
I nodded.
"Yes."
"You'll do it?" he asked.
"I'll do it," I said. "Whenever you're ready with the contract, let me know and we can go over it."
Gabriel jumped to his feet and reached down to me. I put my hands in his and he pulled me up into a tight hug. I felt my body curl up against him, threatening to melt in the heat of his chiseled chest and broad shoulders. I had hugged him plenty of times, but it had never felt like this before. I wanted to rest my head on his chest and breathe him in, but instead, I took a step back.
"This is amazing," he said. "When can we get started?"
"I suppose whenever you want," I said. "There's really no reason to wait."
"I'll have to get in touch with the doctors and talk to them about it and get some things into place," he said.
I nodded and then chuckled.
"I bet it will surprise the IVF doctor to work with a virgin."
I saw Gabriel's face drop.
"Are you serious?" he asked.
Damn.
"Um. Yes."
"But you were engaged."
"I'm aware."
"So, you and
your ex never…"
"No," I said. "Being sexual just wasn't part of our relationship. I made the decision a long time ago to save myself. I told him when we first got together, and he seemed perfectly fine with it. He even acted like he thought it was something admirable and that it made me the type of girl he wanted to bring home to his mother."
"This came from the man who was engaged to two women at the same time?"
"That's the one. Well, as it turns out, he was less than honest with me about several things. I'm pretty sure that us not having sex contributed to him choosing Michelle. I feel completely stupid for not noticing that it was bothering him, and even more so for not anticipating that something like that could happen."
"You shouldn't feel stupid," Gabriel said. "He should never have told you that he was fine with it if he wasn’t. Even if he had said that it wasn't fine with him, you shouldn't have changed anything."
I was surprised to hear that coming from Gabriel. From what Miss Edna had told me, it didn't seem that he had very much experience with women telling him no.
"I wouldn't have," I said.
"Is that still your plan?" he asked.
The question struck a chord with me. He was preparing to essentially sign a lease on a large portion of my body, so it was only natural that he would have a particular interest in the adjacent real estate. I considered what he asked for a few seconds and then shrugged.
"I don't think so," I said. "I mean, it's not like I'm going to become one of those women who auctions off their virginity online, but being married first isn't necessarily the end-all, be-all anymore, either. I just want to make sure that it's with the right person."
"I think that sounds like a good plan." I looked at him for a few seconds. "What?" he asked when he noticed I was still staring.
"Do you really hide in your office when there are women you don’t want to talk to?"
"Did Edna tell you that?"
"After the interview."
He sighed.
"That woman has a mouth on her." For a second, Gabriel looked like he was trying to come up with the perfect excuse for his behavior. I wondered if it had anything to do with the recent revelation of my virginity. "Okay. Here's the story. I had been courting a young lady overnight and found it necessary to leave her at home while she was still sleeping."
Yep. Censorship at its finest.
"So…you fucked and ducked."
Gabriel gave a choking laugh but nodded.
"You surprise me, Cherry Spencer." I smiled at him and he continued on. "So, I had ducked out of there so fast that I'm not even sure my fly was up. In retrospect – not the most chivalrous behavior. But honestly, I didn't care. We were both adults. We knew what we were doing. I never implied that I was going to be around longer than that night, and I never went out of my way to tell her anything about me that might make her feel attached to me. You know...my address, where I work, my last name. Yet by lunch the next day, there she was, coming down the hall like she was storming a castle. I happened to have bent down to pick up a pen that had rolled off my desk when she turned the corner, so I just made like the pen and rolled under it. I stayed there while Edna did some masterful circular talking and finally confused that woman right out of the building."
I was laughing so hard that tears streamed down my face. When I stopped, I felt calm. I filled the plastic tumblers I had set out on the table with my favorite glass-bottled root beer, a childhood treat I never quite grew out of, and held one up.
"To our future baby," I said.
Gabriel grinned and picked up the other cup.
"To our future baby."
We touched the rims of our cups and took long swigs, our eyes never leaving each other.
When we had finished our drinks, I stood and made my way over to the patio door. Gabriel watched me and when I turned to look at him over my shoulder, he still hadn't moved from his spot.
"If we're going to be embarking on this grand adventure together it only seems fair that we get to know each other a little more, and what's a better way to do that than dirty laundry?"
"Dirty laundry?" he asked.
I picked up my hamper and held it up to show him.
"Literally. I need to bring a couple of loads to the laundry room. You can come along with me. I'll give you the exclusive tour of the back of the apartment complex."
He got up and followed me out the sliding glass door. I closed it behind us and started walking away from the building.
"Aren't you going to lock that?" he asked.
I sighed and turned back to the door, using the set of emergency keys that I kept attached with a carabiner clip to the side of the hamper to lock the door.
"I need to introduce you to Jess. You two would get along really well."
"Who is Jess?" he asked as we continued our way across the courtyard.
He reached out to take the hamper that I was locked in a death struggle with and carried it like it contained little more than a single pair of panties and a dryer sheet.
"She's my best friend," I said. "She, too, is extremely concerned about whether or not my doors are locked."
"Sounds about right."
I looked ahead of us and caught sight of Jess standing at the bank of mailboxes positioned at regular intervals around the center curve of the complex.
"And I promise I didn’t arrange this beforehand, but there she is now."
I called out to Jess and she looked up with her best imitation of a prairie dog popping out of its hole. She finally noticed me and waved enthusiastically. We made our way toward each other and hugged before Jess seemed to notice Gabriel.
"Who's this?" she asked. "He's sexy."
Ever the subtle and sophisticated lady.
"This is my boss, Gabriel Reed."
She didn't miss a beat.
"Hello, boss Gabriel Reed. I'm assuming this is also Gabriel Reed of yore."
"Yore?" Gabriel asked.
"From the past," I explained to him.
He nodded.
"Then yes," he said. "I am both."
"I'm going to toss in a couple of loads of laundry," I told her. "Want to come along?"
I felt ridiculous being so casual, acting like absolutely nothing had changed, and this was just like any other evening where Jess and I run into each other. Everything had changed. My life was completely different now and no matter how this worked out, it was never going to be the same as before. But I kept my calm and didn't say anything to Jess about the situation. There would be a time and a place to let her know what was happening, but for now, it needed to stay between Gabriel and me.
"I'm waiting for a pizza," she said. "I was going to text you and see if you wanted to come over."
"You shouldn't be standing out here in the dark by yourself," Gabriel said to Jess, who looked instantly flattered.
"Check out the chivalry."
"He also believes in locking doors," I said. "He made sure that my patio door was properly secured before we headed this way."
"Smart man. You have to keep an eye on her with that. One of these days she's not going to lock the door and I'm going to have to hold a casting call to find out what member of our local community theater is going to play me in the true crime reenactment of me finding her corpse."
I looked up at Gabriel.
"Isn't she delightful?" I grabbed the hamper out of his hands. "Alright. Why don't you stick around here with Jess and make sure that the pizza guy doesn't kidnap her? I'll get this laundry going and we'll meet back up at her place."
I started lugging the hamper toward the laundry room and could hear them starting to chat as I went. Part of me was a bit apprehensive about leaving the two of them together. These were two of the people who had known me the longest and knew secrets that no one else knew. This might have unintended consequences and I really didn’t want to think about what those could possibly be.
Gabriel
The pizza arrived within seconds of Cherry disappearing
into the laundry room. I suggested that we go inside, but Jess shook her head.
"Nope," she said. "She said that we should meet back here. I don't know how well you know Cherry, but one thing I do know is that girl has absolutely no sense of direction. She could get lost in her own living room. Much like with locking up, you've got to keep an eye on her. If we aren't where we said we would be, she could start wandering around, looking for us, and we'll be searching for her, and pretty soon everyone is lost and it's a huge mess. We should just stay exactly where we’re supposed to be."
I pointed at the entrance to the laundry room, just a few yards away.
"It's literally right there though," I said.
"Stay put. You're going to have to trust me. I know Cherry. We have this system for a reason."
I relented, and Jess propped the pizza box on top of the bank of mailboxes. She tossed open the box and pulled out a slice loaded with onions, peppers, mushrooms, and sausage. She made a sound like her taste buds were dancing just thinking about the promise of pizza and took a bite. By the middle of her third slice, I wondered how much of her story about Cherry getting lost was actually true, and if we really only stayed put because Jess wanted to eat the pizza and not have to wait until she got back to her apartment.
Suddenly a high-pitched scream broke through the quiet calm around us. Our eyes met and we both tossed our slices back into the box before sprinting toward the laundry room. There was another loud scream and I was suddenly aware of the strange, loud thudding sound coming from the room ahead of us.
“What the hell is that?” I asked.
“Oh, no,” Jess said.
She pushed herself to go a little faster.
“What?” I asked.
She pulled out her keys and struggled to get it in the lock as we continued to listen to the screaming and thudding noises inside. I was worried about Cherry and what could be happening to her inside that building.
"Come on, come on, come on," Jess chanted at the lock.