“I have to tell Quinn and call my mom.”
“More ammunition for Quinn to bust my balls.”
“Awww, honey. She getting to you?”
“Not one bit, since you and her are a package deal, I’ll be dealing with her shit forever.”
There’s that word again, forever.
Chapter 13
I’m at the pool. Come join me when you get home.
I leave the note on the counter and get my things together. Even though I’ve done the same thing the last few days, I still leave a note. Everyday, I have breakfast with Bryce and Nate and then go to the pool while they go to class.
Usually, I’ll have my daily call with Quinn and then read for a few hours before they get home. We’ve gone out a few nights with their friends again, but thankfully no more run in’s with ex-girlfriends. Every night we spend tangled up in each other’s arms.
I adjust my towel and lay down on my usual lounge chair. As soon as my eyes close, I doze off. The sound of a chair scrapping along the deck makes me stir and when I open my eyes, anxiety fills me.
“Hello, Devon,” Holli says snidely.
“Holli.”
“Thought it was time we talk.”
What would we have to talk about? I decide to ignore her hoping she’ll go away. My eyes close again and I soak in the sun. No such luck. Just for my protection, I punch a few buttons on my phone and decide to record this.
“How long?”
Ignore her.
“I asked how long? How long have you been seeing each other?” Her voice borderline screaming.
Ignore her.
“I asked you a fucking question, you little man-thieving whore!”
This gets a reaction. I whip my head up and give her an evil glare. “First of all, there was no ‘thieving’ at all. Secondly, it’s none of your fucking business. Bryce and I are not your concern.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, little girl. Bryce and I have a history. One you can never compete with.”
My heart races and anger flows through my veins. I’m starting to regret my decision to protect her feelings the other night.
“From what I understand your ‘history’ is filled with painful and manipulative memories. I’ll never speak for Bryce, but you and I know he was never going to marry you. You used your unborn child together to try and trap him. I’m not competing for anything; you’re not my competition. As a matter of fact—you’re nothing.”
“A guy like Bryce has certain needs, I doubt you can fill.”
“Holli, you’re embarrassing yourself here. Being petty and chide isn’t a good attitude for you. You should run along.”
“Not until I get my answers.”
“Honestly? Let it go.”
“How fucking long has this been going on!?”
She wants to know, might as well tell her the truth, even if it devastates her. “We’ve officially been together since around Christmas.”
“That’s it?” Relief washes over her face. “That’s nothing.”
What. A. Bitch. Enough being nice.
“Holli, I wouldn’t be so smug. His plan to pursue me started way before we actually got together. It was he who chased me down and begged my forgiveness and a second chance. Everyday he shows me how much he loves me. He’s gone to great lengths to make sure he gets stationed in Virginia until I finish school. So if you think us being together a short time is an advantage to you, it’s not. Bryce and I have a history and a future that no one can compare to. Especially not you.”
“You’re delusional if you think he loves you. What in the world do you have to offer him? You’re still a girl.”
Her shit is getting old. I get up and gather my stuff ready to leave. “I think he’d disagree. But to answer your one last question, what do I have to offer him? Forever. According to Bryce, I’m his forever. In my mind, that includes wedding vows and kids. A life filled with love, happiness and health.”
“No,” she whispers and her bottom lip starts to tremble. Tears fall down her cheeks and she starts shaking.
“I felt sorry for you in the bar when I saw how upset you were discovering Bryce and I are together. But now there’s no sympathy. Suck it up, move on, and leave my boyfriend alone.”
“How can you be so callous? We went through so much.”
“Bryce lost a child. He was sad, he felt guilty, he grieved that child. It’s unfortunate your casual relationship caused an accidental pregnancy. It’s terrible that baby didn’t make it. I’m sorry for that loss. But Bryce took care of you out of kindness and a sense of obligation. You put him through so much.” I walk away and don’t look back.
Her sobs can be heard all the way around the corner. I don’t know how Bryce put up with that for as long as he did.
~~~~~
“Graduation will be here before we know it. Then I’m taking you away for a week. You pick. Somewhere tropical, sun, sand, beaches, boats—all of it.”
I don’t speak, just nod against him. My body and mind are both in denial of leaving. When we sat down last night and looked at our calendars and schedules, we discovered there were no free weekends between now and his graduation for us to travel. My heart physically hurt at the thought of not seeing him for six weeks again.
The tears started almost immediately and he took me to bed. We didn’t even get up to eat dinner. This morning I promised to make our last few hours together happy. We went to Nate’s favorite deli for breakfast and all three of us took a walk around the campus. Now that Bryce’s plans after training are out in the open, Nate and I discuss his future. He swears he’s not partial, but I secretly agree with Bryce. He wants San Diego.
Now, Quinn is five minutes away and the harsh reality of leaving hits me again. “Devon, did you understand me?”
“Yes. I need to pick a place and you’ll get us there. Because after that you’ll be gone for twelve weeks.” Emotions clog my throat.
“Please don’t cry.” He cradles my face in his hands. “I love you so much and if you leave here crying, it’ll cripple me.”
I plaster on a smile and kiss him quickly. “No more. This has been an amazing week.”
“Wanna play your game?”
“That’s really a Quinn and Devon game.”
“Make an exception. Tell me about Bryce Randolph.”
“Well, he hasn’t really made the loser list yet.” I joke and giggle. “He probably won’t either. He does this thing with his tongue that makes my toes curl. Just last night, I swear I felt him in my throat when he took me from behind.”
“Jesus Devon. I’m hard now.”
“Better get acquainted with your hand then. I know I will.”
“Not helping, the thought of you touching yourself is a huge fucking dream.”
“We still have our iPad dates at night. Maybe we can make that happen.”
“Be quiet, here comes your brother.” He turns us so I’m leaning into him covering his body.
Quinn drives up honking even though she sees us waiting. Nate pulls me into a tight hug then loads my suitcase.
Bryce claims my mouth once more, crushing his lips to mine. The kiss turns hot and I have to break away to breathe.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“We have six hours ahead of us—let’s ride, lovebug!” Quinn shouts.
I get in the car and wave until we turn the corner.
“Who starts?”
“I’ll start.” I get my phone and play her the recording of my confrontation with Holli.
“Holy shit, that’s good. I’ve been dying to hear it.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve about played it out. Nate and Bryce listened to it like twenty times. Bryce still wants to chase her down and cuss her out, but I’ve convinced him otherwise.”
“Do I want to know how you did that?”
“Nope. But I got just as much pleasure out of it.”
“Gross.” She pretends to gag.
“I can�
��t help that I love sex now. Why did you not tell me what I was missing out on?”
“I didn’t want to brag when your one and only time was so shitty. Then to find out you didn’t actually do it—well, there are just no words.”
“True dat.”
“Tell me about everything I don’t already know about. The good stuff.”
“Well, my parents drove me crazy, but acted normal when Dean arrived. They loved him, he’s going to try and fly up in a few weeks.”
“Wow, snoozeville. That’s all you got?”
She shrugs her shoulders but the smile creeping on her lips gives her away. “Let’s just say that you’re not the only one getting laid anymore.”
“Woohoo! Give me PG rated deets.”
“I now know the difference between sex with a boy and sex with a man. And no matter what, I’m never going back.”
“Sounds serious.”
“I think so. We’ll see. Hey, do you think Nate or Bryce could get me two tickets to the Graduation and ROTC Ceremonies?”
“Yeah, but why? Won’t you be bored as hell? I’m obligated to go.”
“Well, I thought Dean could drive up and meet me and we could spend the weekend together. I want to be there okay? Nate and Bryce are like brother’s to me.”
“Okay. If you say so.” Something seems odd. Who would willingly sit through hours of boredom?
Chapter 14
Whoever coined the term, time flies, has obviously never been in love and separated by long distance. A part of me believed Bryce would find a way to get to Virginia to surprise me, but it didn’t happen. And with our schedules it was extremely hard to talk as often as we liked.
One highlight in the six weeks since I left Knoxville is the Holli situation was completely taken care of. She approached Bryce one night while he was working, which was a big mistake. He was still furious with her and basically cussed her out. Even though I wanted explicit details, he resorted to ‘man details.’ Basically, he told her she was a bitch for approaching me and needed to get over him. His vocabulary was extremely colorful with words like cunt, useless shit, and fucking crazy. I shouldn’t have been so happy he was mean to her, but I was delighted.
I decided I wanted to spend a week in Destin for our vacation. He found us a cottage on the beach and we leave the day after his UT commencement. Quinn called him begging to come along but he shut her down quick. She pouted for a day or so, but then pledged revenge one day.
My legs shake nervously when we drive up to the guys’ apartment. As usual, Bryce is outside waiting on me. The car isn’t fully stopped when I hop out and run to him. As soon as I jump in his arms, I feel whole again. His scent envelops me and I wrap my legs around him, holding his as close as possible.
His lips run a trail down my neck and across my chin until he finds my mouth. I breathe in deep, drawing air from him. He breaks away too soon and looks at me sadly.
“Babe, Karen and Steve are already here. Your dad’s having a really hard time with the fact you’re staying here and already gave me a lecture. Not sure how he’ll handle me mauling you in daylight.”
“Does that mean you will maul me in moonlight?” I tease.
“Oh yeah. You can count on it.”
I loosen my legs and stand up dizzily. He steadies me and laughs. Quinn walks up and shoves her bag at him.
“If you aren’t going to take me on vacation, you can at least carry my bag.”
He rolls his eyes and goes to the car to get my things. She and I walk in and immediately are surrounded by my family. My dad holds me extra long and when I pull back he looks happy and sad at the same time. My mom tears up.
“What the hell, guys? I just saw you in February,” I question.
“Baby, my son’s graduating from college tomorrow. Give me a break. I’m a little emotional,” she says.
Whatever, I shrug and embrace my brother who keeps shaking his head. Sheila and Dave come in and we repeat the whole routine. Sheila sheds a few tears too when she lets go of Bryce. He rolls his eyes and pulls me to his side.
We choose a restaurant nearby and leave for an early dinner. All throughout our meal, Bryce holds my hand firmly. Quinn and I keep everyone entertained with stories of the last semester. The story of our exhibit is a huge conversation grabber. We should know in the next week about the program we applied to and if we’ll get to go away this summer.
My mom keeps looking my way and smiling widely. Finally I give her the signal to follow me and go to the restroom. When we get inside, I check under the stalls to make sure we’re alone.
“What the hell is going on?” I question her.
“You’re back. All of you is back. The joking, vibrant, joyful Devon is back.”
“I agree,” Quinn says from behind me, joining us.
“I am happy. So, so happy I’m waiting for the world to throw me a curveball.”
“Honey, don’t think like that. Just enjoy it.”
I nod my head in agreement and she pulls me to her. Quinn joins our embrace and tears sting my eyes.
“Okay, now that we’ve established this, can you quit looking at me funny?” I ask my mom.
“Yep, officially done.”
We all go back to the table and our dinner is waiting. Bryce grabs my hand again and winks at me. Something inside tells me he knows what we were talking about.
When we leave the restaurant, all the parents go to their hotels and we make plans to meet tomorrow for a late lunch before the ROTC Ceremony at three. Quinn is staying with me at the apartment until Dean arrives tomorrow and they move into a hotel room for the rest of the weekend.
As soon as we get into the apartment, I say goodnight and go to Bryce’s shower. Quinn comes in and talks non-stop the whole time I’m bathing which annoys the shit out of me.
“You know Bryce won’t come in here and join me if you’re here right?” I hiss.
Her laughter howls and I poke my head out to see her rolling on the floor.
“What?”
“Nate paid me to come in and talk until you are done!”
“And you took it?”
“Yep! He’s trying to talk Bryce into letting me come to Destin so it’s a fair deal.”
“You are a bitch. I’ve been celibate for six weeks. My body is crying for relief. Why would you do that?”
“Oh please! I hear you moaning in your room. I know you’re not exactly frustrated.”
“It’s not the same!” I slam the shower curtain back in place and finish my shower quickly.
When I’m done, I slip into my pajamas and head to the living room to find my boyfriend. He and Nate are watching the news and he looks as miserable as I am.
“Nate, I promise to get you back one day!”
“Devon, there are some things brothers and sisters should never know about. Sex is one. I can’t ignore how tight Bryce is wound, but I did not want to hear it when we walked in the door. So I took my own drastic measures.”
Bryce gives him an evil look but slaps him on the back. “Thanks man, but can I go to bed with my girl now?”
“Fucking A’.” Nate stands and grabs the sheets to set up Quinn’s bed on the sofa. He mumbles the whole time and I grin following Bryce to his room.
He takes a shower and I crawl in bed to read while I wait. When he comes out in his pajama pants I look at him confused.
“You have on too many clothes,” I state.
He climbs in and pulls me to him. Then nothing. No kissing, no touching, no licking, nothing.
“What’s wrong?”
He blows out a breath and looks at me apologetically. “I just want to hold you. There’s a lot on my mind.”
“Like?”
“Like how the next two days are a big fucking deal. In the next few days, I have to say goodbye to some of my closest friends and I join the service full time. Like how nervous I am about the speech at the ceremony. And how I finally feel like my heart can beat again now that you’re here.”
I’m such a bitch. None of this has crossed my mind and I’m ashamed of not being supportive. I nod and curl up on him, trying to tamper the need in my body.
“You’ll do great tomorrow and I’ll be there cheering for you. Do you want to talk about anything specific?”
“No. I just want to fall asleep with my girl on me and dream about the beach next week.”
“I love you so much.”
“That’s what I’m counting on, Devon. Forever.”
~~~~~
If my mom cries one more time, I’m going to scream. Since meeting at lunch and seeing the guys in their uniforms, she has been a wet mess. Even Quinn told her to get a grip. Dean arrived and I apologized for my parents’ odd behavior. If this is how they act for Nate, I’m thinking of skipping my own graduation—maybe both of them.
We’re already late and I’m worried about getting a seat together. Bryce has been stoic all day and if I don’t get a good seat, I’m scared he’ll blow. He joked around a little with Nate at lunch, but otherwise he’s been quiet.
The auditorium is packed when we finally walk in and I swear we’re the last ones here. I rush my parents forward and make sure Quinn is sitting next to me. Since we’re so late, there are only a few programs left and I flip through to see the order of the service. Bryce speaks right in the middle.
When the music starts and the men file in, my eyes fill with tears. A hand lands on my shoulder and I look back to see Sheila crying openly. Quinn even sniffs a few times. Dean puts his arms around her shoulder for comfort.
The ceremony itself is quite spectacular. It’s a homage to not only the Military but also the men and women’s accomplishments in college.
Bryce’s speech is flawless and he locks eyes with me several times, which sends a chill through my body. When he and Nate actually are recognized, our group cheers so loudly they give us the hand signal to calm down.
When it’s all over and the students are dismissed, the room erupts. People file down to the floor of the small auditorium to find their loved ones. We bustle through the crowd and I get to Nate first. He picks me up and I scream into his shoulder how proud I am. Tomorrow may actually be his college graduation, but today is what meant the most. It defines his future.
Finding Our Way Page 11