by J. A. Faura
On his way home, Steven tried to prepare for what he was about to do. He thought he knew what he wanted to say, but the truth was that like everything else related to the past six months, he was having to figure things out as he went along. He could not have prepared for any of it. He was still introspective enough to know that part of what he was dealing with was a deep sense of guilt. It hadn’t been his intention to bring his family into a world that none of them were even aware of before Tracy had gone missing, but that’s exactly what had happened. Even so, there were some things that had helped him to feel better. One of the biggest ironies about that was the role the media had played in all of it. Initially he had been incredibly mortified with all the coverage, which he saw growing every single day. Now, with some time to let things fall into a routine, he was thankful for their coverage. His lawyers had explained to him that whatever evidence they would not be able to get in for the jury to consider, the media would have no problem putting in front of almost every potential juror in New York. It made sense; he knew that there was around the clock coverage in multiple channels, which meant that finding a juror that had not heard anything about the case would be practically impossible. The media had also helped keep him feel better about his family’s safety. He believed that as long as the world’s attention was firmly planted on his case, his family would be safe. It would be virtually impossible for anyone, regardless of their resources or their connections, to get to his family undetected. The attention would be there through the trial and most likely for some time after that, but it would not be there forever. If what Diana and Barlow himself had said about the type of individual that might have an interest in him or his family was true, they would most definitely wait until things died down and the world’s attention was no longer on the Loomis family before making a move. That gave Steven a few months, at least, to decide what the best solution would be. One of the first things he knew Beth would want to know would be whether her parents were going to be in any danger once it was all over. He did not know what the answer was, but what he did know is that after he explained the scope of what they were facing, it would be very easy for her to make that decision on her own. Neither one of her parents had brothers or sisters. Lucy, her mother, was an only child and Tom had been one of three children, but his two brothers had died years before. One had died in the Vietnam War and the other one had died of lung cancer after three decades of a three-pack-a-day habit.
When they arrived at Steven’s building the same trucks that had been there in the morning were there that evening as were the reporters and photographers belonging to the trucks. Steven saw with some satisfaction that they looked exhausted and appeared to be wrapping up their coverage for the evening. He could not imagine how frustrating it would be to have to sit out in the cold, under rain, snow, waiting for something that might, but would most likely not happen. Steven and Lou, his driver and bodyguard, got out in front of the building where another security team had already ensured that what few photographers and reporters were there did not get in their way. Benny, the building’s doorman, was already holding the door open for them. Steven was first through the door, “Thanks Benny.” The young man smiled and shook his head, “No problem Mr. Loomis. Man, those assholes just don’t give up. Would you believe some of them actually tried to bribe me to let them up? They offered me $250 bucks to let them up. I told them to go fuck themselves. Unbelievable. “ Steven squeezed his shoulder as he walked past him to the elevator, “I appreciate it Benny. Did Beth go out today?” Benny knew it wasn’t about Steven keeping tabs on his wife, although he had plenty of other people in the building who did in fact keep very close tabs on their spouses and bribed Benny with all kinds of swag to keep them informed. He shook his head, “No, not while I’ve been here. But the older man that came by yesterday is upstairs now. He got here about a half an hour ago.” Steven stopped in his tracks, “The man who was here last night?” Benny realized he might have made a serious mistake, “Hey, that’s alright, isn’t it Mr. Loomis? I mean I called your wife before I let him up. She said it’d be fine. I told her who it was and she said if it was the same man as last night to let him up. She didn’t hesitate or nothin’.” Steven could see the man was thinking he might have made a serious mistake, “That’s fine Benny, you did the right thing. He’s one of the good guys.” Clearly relieved, Benny went back to his post. Steven bid goodbye to Lou who was as tired as he looked. Another team would take over for the overnight shift and Lou would be back for him in the morning. While he was in the elevator Steven wondered what the old man needed. He wondered whether maybe Beth had called him, but decided that was not likely. The General would have called Steven to let him know. Whatever he wanted to speak to Steven about he also wanted Beth there. He walked through the door, took the gun from his lower back and placed it in the same drawer he had put it in before. He walked into the living room where Beth and the General were sitting. The old man had his customary tumbler filled with 18-year-old Scotch and Beth had a small cup with what he thought would be Earl Grey tea. He threw his overcoat on a chair, loosened his tie and worked out of his suit jacket all as he moved further into the living room. Beth and Goodman stood up and she came over to greet him, “Hey you. We were getting worried. I told Art you’d be here more than an hour ago.” He hugged and kissed her and walked over to shake he General’s hand as he explained why he was late, “I know babe. We’re trying to narrow down our list of witnesses. I had no idea we had that many potential experts. I only spoke to two of them, but Max and Drew’s staff have found almost a dozen more that could be great for us.” Steven and Goodman sat down, Beth walked over to the kitchen, “Can I get you something to drink?” Steven turned to answer, “A glass of ice cold tea would be great.” She smiled, “Coming up.” Once she was out of earshot, he turned back to the General, “I’m surprised you’re here. I’m glad as hell you are, but I’m surprised.” That caught the old man off guard, “Glad as hell? Just in general or because you needed to talk to me.” Steven paused to take the glass from Beth, who went to go back to the kitchen before he stopped her, “Hold on, sit down honey, I need to talk to you.” A puzzled expression took over her face as she complied and sat down next to him. He turned back to the General and answered his question, “Both actually. I’m glad as hell that you’re here because it always feels great to see friends, real friends when things are tough, but I am also glad you are here because I wanted to talk to you and you saved me the call.” Now both Beth and Goodman had puzzled expressions on their faces. They both waited for Steven to continue. For his part Steven had thought that they would barrage him with questions about what he needed to talk to them about. It would have made it easier for him to just dole out answers to questions, but when neither one asked anything he realized he was going to have to do this cold. He began by explaining his research, how he had come upon dozens and dozens of scientists and researchers doing work on what he now thought of as ‘his’ science. He explained how it had been difficult to ascertain which ones were involved in serious research and which ones were simply opportunists looking to make a buck off his case. He had never spoken to either of them in detail about the process he had followed to find the science had had found. He then went on to tell them about his admin, Stephanie’s, call about a Dr. Barlow and how insistent the man had been on seeing him. By that point he had been going a bit stir crazy, he explained, and was maybe just looking for a good excuse to get out of the house. He had also thought that maybe Barlow was one of the scientists who were doing serious research and maybe he thought Steven could help his work in some way. He continued and told them about that first meeting, how he had felt something off with the man. He went on to explain how the meeting had progressed and saw as both Beth and the General both tensed up and worried expressions took over from puzzlement. Steven went on, not waiting for them to ask any questions. Now that he was rolling he didn’t want to stop. He explained about the Twins and what he had asked them to do. He had be
en looking directly at Goodman as he had explained that part of his story and finally felt that he needed to pause. He had to explain to both of them why he had kept quiet, “I know I should have told you, but at that point I didn’t really know much about Barlow. When I asked the Twins to look into the man I was expecting them to come back and simply tell me the guy was some wacko involved in some creepy cases. I never expected for it to come to anything.” He meant for this explanation to be for both of them, but kept his eyes on the General because he knew that while telling his wife might have been a good idea, telling the General should have been a given. No going back now. It happened, he made a mistake and was now explaining to both why he had made it. “It’s no excuse, I know. You two are the people I trust most in this world and not telling you was killing me, especially after what happened next.” Now Beth’s face went from worried to scared, “What do you mean ‘what happened next’? What happened next??” Steven looked at her and held her hand. He could tell she was getting overwhelmed with all of it and wanted to reassure her as he explained the really difficult part of his story. It wasn’t lost on him that Art Goodman’s expression hadn’t changed. He never flinched when Steven had made reference to what had happened after he sent the Twins to look into Barlow. He wondered whether that was because he had learned to keep a poker face over decades of tough negotiations or because of something else. Steven continued his story explaining his encounter with the woman holding the packages, his being knocked out in the car and waking up in the motel room. Goodman simply listened, but Beth was clearly getting more and more upset as he went on. He squeezed her hand as he continued to signal her to let him finish. That squeeze let her know he would explain as much as she needed him to explain, but not now. The squeeze had been their ‘not now’ signal to each other for more years than he could remember. They had both come to use it in that fashion countless times over the years and Steven had never been more appreciative of that private signal than he was as he went on with the story. There were things he needed to tell his wife and his wife only. He told both of them that he had believed Barlow when he said he would leave him and his family alone if Steven returned the courtesy. He had wanted to make that clear to Beth so she could at least know they were not in any imminent danger. He already knew that Goodman would be thinking far beyond the immediate danger. A man did not get to the rank of general without having a keen strategic mind and Goodman’s was keener than most. Steven went on to explain how he had tasked security teams to keep an eye on his family in Vermont and on his place here in New York. He was relieved when he saw, when he felt, Beth exhale. Once again, a half a lifetime of being together allowed them to communicate some of the most important things without saying a word. He imagined it was the same with most solid marriages. Two people joined at the heart didn’t need words to communicate and with that exhale Beth had let him know she was okay. She would probably take him to the woodshed over not telling her and he would have a lot of explaining to do, but now he knew she would be okay in the end. He had gotten through the really tough part. He finished the story by explaining that he intended to do precisely as Barlow had requested. He would focus on his trial and protecting his family from it and the media coverage as much as possible. Once again, he reiterated that he believed Barlow when he had said he would leave him and his family alone. He went on to say, for Beth’s benefit more than anything else, that he believed that the media’s, the world’s attention, really, would serve to keep his family safe. Now he did stop. He wanted to let both of them catch up and process everything he had just told them and he knew each would do so at their own pace. Goodman would be much further along than Beth in that regard, but he wasn’t worried about him. Steven got up and went to put some ice in his drink, “Can I get you another drink Art? Babe, can I get you anything?” Both shook their heads, but didn’t say anything. When Steven came back to sit down it was Beth who spoke first, “I guess the first thing I want to know is that the kids and my parents are safe. They are, aren’t they?” It broke Steven’s heart to see the pleading look on her face. It also broke his heart that she had gotten so used to the surreal quality of everything that had happened in their life in the past couple of months that she took his story in stride. She didn’t break down or come unhinged, something that would have almost certainly happened before Tracy had gone missing. Steven couldn’t imagine what a wife, any other wife, would say if her husband came home and told her that some sick bastard had knocked him out and taken him to a motel in New Jersey where he warned the man to stay away. Forget about what happened to Tracy or what he had done to Riche, that type of story would serve to send any other wife into a panic and almost certainly into a nervous breakdown. But now Steven understood, she had spent almost her entire adult life with him living with an almost daily uncertainty about what he was doing and where he was. She knew how dangerous his job was, how he would never be called into anything that didn’t require the best and most experienced and deadly operators in the US military. It was no wonder that divorce rate among Navy SEALs was rumored to be over 80%. He couldn’t imagine what it was for those that were a part of that most elite fraternity, DEVGRU or SEAL Team six, but it had to be higher than 80%. And yet here she was, through it all, through all those years and through all the missions, here she was. In a singular moment of clarity Steven came to realize that destiny or fate or God or whatever it was that decided such things had chosen them for this because they were equipped to handle it. He seemed to recall a saying from church about God placing problems and challenges only in front of those who were able to handle them. Wherever it was he had heard it didn’t matter, what mattered was that it could not be truer than it was right then and there, with him sitting next to his wife. He smiled at her, gave her a kiss on her forehead and answered her question, “They are babe, they are absolutely safe. The people watching over them are serious operators. I know all of them. You’ve met some of them, in fact. You know the Twins, Cecil and Thurman right?” She nodded. She had met them a couple of times while they had served under her husband and again at some function or other while Steven was at GIC. Two very attractive black men in their late thirties or early forties. She remembered them being very intimidating, but very professional and well mannered. Identical except that one wore a goatee and the other one did not. She seemed to remember thinking the same thing about most of the people her husband worked with. She knew what it took to become a SEAL and what it took to be chosen to be a part of Team six. You were invited to try for the team only after years of combat experience in one of the other SEAL teams. The country was only now finding out what she had known for almost two decades, that these men were truly the best of the best. She considered the irony of the fact that some of the things she had resented about her husband’s chosen profession were now things that gave her great comfort. The men watching over her family were trained to see what others didn’t, to anticipate what others didn’t and to take out any and all threats without hesitation. Most of them spoke several languages and all had to have above average IQs. They were experts at becoming experts of whatever it was they were tasked with and if they had been tasked with watching over her family she was certain that by now they knew her parents’ and her children’s routine by heart. They had scouted out their lake house, the town it was in and every other potential location where they thought a threat could come from. All of it served to make her feel, as her husband did, that their family was safe. Still, she had some questions she wanted answered, “Okay. What now? What are we supposed to do now? God, Steven, why now? Why did this happen to us now, when everything else is going on?” Steven could have pointed out how it was all connected, how one thing had led to another, but he didn’t want to do that because he knew in the end the common thread, the connection between every one of the things that had happened to them after Tracy was found, was him, his decisions. He could sense she was starting to panic and needed him to bring sense to it all, as he had done many times before. He didn’
t disappoint her, “Really, nothing, nothing besides what we were doing already. I’m going to concentrate on the trial and on working with my lawyers to put the best case forward. Obviously we have to be more vigilant now, but we were already pretty cautious and aware before any of this happened. Like I said, it’s ironic but having the media everywhere helps us in this case. Think about anyone trying to come or go without being noticed by the media, it would be virtually impossible. And if they did get past the media, think about them trying to get past the security teams in place, it would be literally impossible.” He knew that was technically not true, but she needed the reassurance. She took this last comment and mulled it over. She got up and headed to the kitchen, “I have to get dinner going.” Steven nodded, held on to her hand as she walked away and pulled it to his lips before she walked away. Once she was in the kitchen and out of earshot, he waited to hear from the General. The old man was most definitely turning things over in his head. Steven had seen the same expression of concentration countless times before. When he finally spoke, the old man almost knocked him out of his chair, “I already knew.” He saw no expression other than deep concentration and heard no tone of recrimination. He waited for him to explain what he meant. “I already knew about all of it, the meeting with Barlow at your office, the thing in New Jersey and I even know about your little side trip to Little Italy to talk to that woman. That’s what I came here to talk to you about. I came by last night, but I couldn’t wait for you to get home. I’m glad I didn’t have to ask you, that you did it on your own.” Steven’s mouth hung open for a half a second and then it shut. He hung his head and shook it slowly. He should have known. There had been an instant flash of resentment at the fact that Cecil and Thurman had told the General about Barlow and, he assumed, everything else that he had asked them to keep in confidence. But the feeling had quickly been replaced by a realization and acceptance of the fact that deep down inside he had always known that Art Goodman would somehow find out about everything, whether it had been the Twins or not didn’t really matter, he would have found out some other way. How many times had Steven been completely baffled by the man’s ability to get information that he had thought was simply impossible to get. Yeah, he should have known from the beginning. When he finally looked up at the old man there was a sideways grin on his face, “I should have known. Did know, actually, I think I always knew you’d find out somehow.” The General returned the grin and nodded, “Well, it is what it is. The question is what do you want to do now?” Steven didn’t need to think about it, “Nothing. Exactly what I said to Beth. I certainly can’t do anything about Barlow right now.” Goodman nodded, “I understand. I noticed you didn’t tell Beth about your meeting in Little Italy.” Steven shook his head, “What for? To tell her what she’s already heard about Barlow? She doesn’t need to be convinced about how dangerous the man is, trust me. That’s what Diana, that’s the woman who I met with, was trying to do. She was trying to warn me about how far his reach extends and how many resources he has at his disposal.” The old man held up his hands, “Hey, I’m not saying you should have told her. Fact is I think it was the right thing to do. What I meant was what do you want to do in the long term?” Steven hadn’t really thought about that. He was busy with his trial and with keeping his family safe for its duration. His only long-term goal was to get through it without going to prison for the rest of his life. If he ended up going to prison whatever plans he might have would be moot. “I have to beat this charge, there’s no two ways about it. Before Barlow came along I felt that even if I lost I would have accomplished what I set out to do.” Goodman went to say something, but Steven raised his hand and kept going, “I’m not saying I was throwing in the towel. I told you before, I’m nobody’s martyr. I’ve always planned to defend myself with everything I have. I’m just saying that back then going to prison would have been what I imagine going to prison is for most. Losing their family, their job, their life. It would have crushed me, but I could have moved on. Now that I understand what Barlow is and how far it goes, I’m not so sure. My family’s safety is above everything else and if I went to prison I would go crazy worrying about them, but it would be doable because I have you and Beth’s parents and everyone else that is behind me to protect them. What about all those other people, the ones who don’t have anybody protecting them? The ones who are victimized and preyed upon every day? They have enough trying to keep safe from human predators, what about when these things come knocking? I keep thinking about the families of the other girls that Riche took. What have things been like for them? Their lives destroyed, their little girls gone.” Now the General did interrupt him, “Wait a minute son, you can’t put all of that on your shoulders, nobody can. We, humanity, know the dangers out there and we do our best to protect ourselves. It was that way when we lived in caves and it’s that way now. No one man is ever going to be able to step up for humanity. Many have tried and lost their minds in the process.” Steven shook his head in frustration, “I know that Art, I’m not diluted. But one thing that Barlow has made clear for me is that these things, these predators, have been in the shadows for a long time. They’ve done what they’ve done and preyed upon people completely unnoticed this entire time. We hear of disappearances and we put up our posters and eventually people just let it go, never knowing what happened and why. There are wars and riots and murders and we are fed what the media deems we should be fed and they are guided and moved by those in power. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure most wars and riots and every other form of uprising are exactly what we understand it to be, but now I know that there are some that are something else. There are some that were designed by others with a different agenda.” The General now took on a look of open skepticism, “You’re telling me that there are wars that are engineered by one of these things, these predators for their own amusement?” Steven leaned closer, “c’mon Art, do you really think it would be that hard? We’ve seen it done many times around the world. That’s our business. Mad geniuses convincing people to go to war over their own personal agenda, to commit suicide for god’s sake! World war II, Uganda, Rwanda, hell North Korea, it happens all the time. You think that it couldn’t be done by one of these things?” Goodman mulled it over. It didn’t take long; he had seen it with his own two eyes for more decades than he cared to remember. Steven went on, “I’m not trying to be humanity’s savior, but I would be lying to you if I didn’t say that I do feel a sense of responsibility. Barlow let me know that with all of this, with the trial, the media, all of it, they would come out from the shadows, maybe not too many of them, but some. He let me know that they’ve been operating in the shadows because they feel powerful; knowing what they are and having the world think they’re just human gives them that power. That is how Barlow has been able to do everything he’s been able to do. What do you think a senator or a CEO who has grown up believing they are freaks or psychopaths does when Barlow soothes them and lets them know that they’re not freaks, that they’re nature’s next iteration? That they were designed to be what they are? Can you imagine their relief, their sense of empowerment and purpose? It’s no wonder they’re willing to shell out as much as they need to for him or to given him the access of power that he has. But now that I have brought the world’s attention to them some of them are going to resent being ‘outed’ and they’re going to come looking for the one who did it. It’s not them I’m worried about, though, I told you I know we’re covered. It’s the ones who relish the world being aware of them and who might take to doing things that are more brazen and deadly in order to own what they are that worry me.” Goodman nodded thoughtfully. Everything that Steven had said made sense and he knew it. He had the experience that only having lived through wars and watching men die because of one man’s madness could bring. He still tried to bring Steven back to his original point, however, “Okay, I get it. What do you want to do about your family? I’m talking about tactics now, not the end game.” Steven had thought about that, “I
think Beth is fine here. She’s being watched 24/7 by two rotating teams. They’ve got our place under electronic surveillance as well. Anyone points a parabolic mic or tries to put fiber optics in from anywhere and we’ll know. They’re all people you know.” Steven smiled before moving on, “What am I talking about, you probably helped the Twins pick the teams.” Goodman simply nodded. “So I don’t need to tell you Beth’s parents’ place is also very well covered. I also wasn’t making it up when I told Beth that having the media camped out everywhere was going to be helpful to us. I’m pretty comfortable with the situation right now, as comfortable as I can be anyways. That’s why I am able to give my attention to preparing for the trial.” Goodman now stood up to pace, a habit that Steven had also picked up over the years, “Okay, so we’re set tactically. I think it would be a good idea to begin planning for what happens after the trial right now. We need to figure out how to keep your family safe in the long term. That’s priority number one. What you decide to do after that’s accomplished is up to you. I agree, you have to beat these charges no matter what. I’ve been doing some research and I’ve talked to Max. He feels, and I agree, that even if you are convicted you would almost certainly not be sentenced to life in prison. I’m not saying that to blow smoke up your ass and make you feel better. I’m saying it to put things into perspective. Even if you lose the trial, there will be an after for you. So, we’ll concentrate on keeping your family safe for now and figure out how to make it permanent after the trial. The rest we can play by ear.” Steven had heard that phrase countless times over the years. Whether he was talking to a president in one of the areas they operated or to his troops or to the janitor, he had the power to break things down into bits that could be digested and tackled. Everything in life came with an ever-present dose of uncertainty, however, and Goodman had the wisdom to understand that some things you just couldn’t plan for until you knew more. This was the perfect illustration of that very point. Both men looked into each other’s eyes. As always, some of the deepest thoughts were communicated in these looks. Steven could see how much the old man truly cared about him and his family. And he could see how worried he had been and would continue to be for some time. Goodman could see that Steven, his best executive and the closest thing to a son he would ever have, was tired and worried, but still all there. It gave him immense comfort to see that in Steven’s eyes. The General had been afraid that the loss of his daughter and the subsequent pressure of what he had done and what he was facing had served to erode the spirit that had endeared him so much to Steven. He’d seen many men, good men, beaten down over time, plodding along because they had been trained to never give in, but no longer with the spark in their eyes that had let him know they were different, that they might go on to be great in time. That spark was still very much alive in Steven. Of course he would worry about him, he looked not just physically tired, but emotionally weary and that concerned the General. But a tired body and soul could be revived with rest, deep rest, as long as the spark was still there. They were about to get up to join Beth when Steven reached out and pulled him back down, “Listen, General, I need you to help me with Beth. She’s going to need support through this and I might not be able to give it to her when she needs it. She believes me when I tell her things will be okay, that we’re safe. I’ve always proved it to her. But this, this is different. I know she believes me, but she’s still going to worry. She respects you almost as much as she respects her father and that’s saying something. She needs to hear that we’re going to be okay from someone else besides her parents and me. Someone who knows it for a fact and isn’t trying to just make her feel better. “ The General smiled a gentle smile, “I understand. My Kristy was the same way. Every time I’d leave on a deployment she’s get that look, a look that said exactly that: ‘I believe you when you say things will be fine, but I’m still going to worry.’” Steven saw deep sadness in the man’s eyes. Goodman had lost his wife five years ago and still mourned her sometimes. They had been high school sweethearts and gotten married when they had both been 20 years old. They had never had any kids. Steven had never learned why and his boss hadn’t offered. After two seconds of that far away, sad look, Goodman looked back at him, “Of course I’ll be there. You don’t ever have to ask. You may still not know this, Steven, but you and Beth and the kids are family to me.” Steven squeezed the man’s hand, “I do know it Art. Now, more than ever, I know it.”