Remar’s gaze scraped over each of us, gauging our reaction. “Endless Motion will be commencing the extensive US leg of their world tour April fifteenth. They’ve asked for Pushing Limits to open for them.”
No. Fucking. Way. Endless Motion was currently the biggest-selling rock band in the world. Opening for them was huge. Our audiences were similar, if not the same, which was a definite bonus. There was nothing worse than opening for a band whose music was such an opposite fit that fans actually threw objects, including chairs, at the stage while you performed.
“Depending on how things go, you could also be joining them for a large portion of their world tour. The early reviews of your album have been very positive, and we want to hit hard while we can. We’ve lined up Björn Ekstrom to direct the video for your first single. We were extremely lucky to get him on such short notice. He heard ‘Tangled’ and was so impressed, he insisted on directing the music video.”
The conference room door opened and the receptionist entered with what I hoped was my coffee in an oversized mug. At this point, I definitely needed it. Behind her, a skinny bald-headed man with a red goatee stepped into the room. He could’ve easily been one of the band (minus the skinny part), with his military boots, jeans, and T-shirt. A complete contrast to Remar.
“And there he is,” Remar said, beaming at the man. “We were just talking about you, Björn.”
We all stood and shook hands with the director.
“Ah, so you’re Jared Leigh,” Björn said, after I introduced myself. “Cute kid.”
“Thanks.” I could feel the weight of Remar’s glare directed at me. With the way he was reacting to the news that I was a father, you’d have thought Logan’s existence meant the band was facing a dramatic drop in sales compared to the first album.
Once the introductions were over, we sat at the table again, with Björn at the opposite end to Remar. His gaze appraisingly swept over us. “This video will be hot, no?” he asked in a watered-down Swedish accent.
Mason and I exchanged looks. His lips stretched into a wide grin, his teeth super-white against his light brown skin. You didn’t have to spend a year on the road with Mason to know what he was thinking. He was that transparent when it came to women and sex.
“If we get to make out with a lot of hot babes,” he said, “then I wholeheartedly agree with you. This video will be epically hot.”
Aaron and I burst out laughing. “Isn’t it usually the lead singer who gets to score with the hot babes in videos?” Aaron pointed out. Kirk chuckled.
“No way, man,” Mason said. “Nolan already has a girlfriend. And I’m sure Hailey would rip his balls off if he even thought about kissing a girl in the video.”
“So let me guess,” Kirk said, smirking. “You’re volunteering to take his place for the sake of preserving his balls?”
“Damn straight. And I’m sure both he and Hailey will thank me extensively for making that level of sacrifice.”
The only person not laughing at that was Remar. Even Björn was chuckling. I was surprised steam wasn’t whistling out of Remar’s ears. The guy seriously needed to lighten up.
“Let me make this clear,” Remar said. “The song has the potential to catapult to number one. This video will help it get there. So if Björn wants to shoot Nolan having sex with a woman who isn’t his girlfriend, then he and his girlfriend will have to suck it up.”
If what he was implying hadn’t been so serious, I would’ve laughed at him saying “suck it up.” The phrase seemed foreign coming from his mouth.
Nolan blanched, and I couldn’t say I blamed him. The label had already tried to manipulate who he was romantically linked with. He didn’t need them doing that again. He and Hailey had been through enough as it was.
“Does this mean we won’t be playing unplugged for the song’s debut?” I held my breath. Part of my plan to win Callie’s heart involved us playing unplugged on the entertainment show as originally planned.
“No,” Remar said, “ ‘Tangled’ will still debut unplugged. It was what the show requested.”
I needed to send whoever had made that request a bottle of wine. An expensive bottle of wine.
We spent the next ten minutes listening to Björn’s vision for the video. Fortunately for Nolan’s sake, his nuts weren’t at risk. While “Tangled” might’ve been a love song, the video wouldn’t be too explicit.
“It’s not like you haven’t kissed a girl in a video before,” Mason pointed out after Björn mentioned that while there would be no sex, Nolan was expected to kiss the actress.
Nolan folded his arms across his chest. “I was single back then. I don’t want to give girls the idea they can kiss me whenever they want.”
None of us bothered to claim it wouldn’t happen. We had long since learned that some fans confused make-believe with reality when it came to music videos. If Nolan kissed a girl in the video who wasn’t his girlfriend, then some females would consider it open season when it came to kissing him.
All gazes shifted to me.
“Sorry, not happening. Nolan’s the lead singer. He’s the one who gets to be in the spotlight, not me.” Well, most of the time. There were a few exceptions, but this wasn’t one of them.
Mason opened his mouth, probably to tell Nolan and me that we were pussies. Or to once again offer his services as Nolan’s replacement. We never found out which one.
“As I’ve already pointed out,” Remar said to Nolan, “you don’t have a choice. But if you want, I can always have Björn rethink the video and we’ll go back to the option of making it super-sexy. Remember, over fifty percent of your demographics is female, and they buy into the sex fantasy. And that’s exactly what we’re selling.”
And here I thought we were selling music. Silly me.
Nolan grumbled about this all being fucked up, but that was pretty much the end of it. He agreed to be the sacrificial lamb.
“All right,” Björn said. “Filming starts tomorrow morning. At six a.m.”
Chapter 40
Callie
From the kitchen window, I watched Logan in the backyard, playing tag with his grandfather near the gazebo. Even though I couldn’t physically hear him through the closed window, I could hear him giggling in my head.
“He’ll be fine,” his grandmother said, next to me. “Enjoy yourself and let us worry about him. We’re looking forward to getting to know our grandson better.”
Guilt rushed me like a semi without brakes on the downward stretch of a mountainous road. “I’m sorry I never told you about him. I just…”
She redirected her smile at me. “I know. You were looking out for him and doing what your sister asked. No one blames you for that, Callie….Jared knows he’s here, right?”
I shook my head. “I haven’t heard from him in almost a week.” Not since he brought me home last Friday, after I got drunk, then sent me the one text four hours later.
“That’s strange. He hasn’t talked to Logan at all during that time?”
Not that I knew of, unless he spoke to him while I was at work. I hadn’t thought to ask Sharon or Logan if that was the case.
“It’s okay,” I said. “He’s been busy because of the entertainment show tonight.” Which Hailey had told me about two hours ago. The band had flown out to New York City this morning, and she’d invited me over to watch it with her. I’d told her I’d think about it, but then decided to visit my old friends back in San Francisco.
I walked outside and said goodbye to Logan. “I’ll see you in two days. Okay? And maybe if you’re good, Grandma will let you watch Daddy on TV tonight.”
Logan’s eyes widened. “Daddy’s on TV?”
“Pushing Limits will be performing on TV live. You’ll get to see Daddy play the guitar. Won’t that be cool?”
Logan nodded enthusiastically. “Daddy is cool.”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “You’re right. He’s very cool.”
I kissed him on the cheek and hug
ged him. This was the first time in three years I’d be away from him. Not surprisingly, the thought of that made my stomach do backflips, ending with an unimpressive belly flop.
The first thing I did when I arrived in San Francisco was drive to my old university. My appointment with the counselor wasn’t for another forty minutes, so I wasted time wandering around, visiting all the familiar places.
At first I figured that I’d be plagued with memories of happier times, back when I was dating Chris. He had meant the world to me then. Funny how small that world had really been. The world with Jared was more vast and fulfilling. Chris had held me back. Jared encouraged me to not confine myself to what was sitting in front of me, which was exactly what I’d been doing with the graphic design degree. I had been doing it because I believed that was what I had to do. I’d never considered what was really important to me. I’d never considered what I loved.
Instead of memories about Chris, I revisited memories of Jared. Even on the campus grounds, where he had never been before, Jared was everywhere. A group of guys kicking a soccer ball around the green space reminded me of those times he and I had played soccer with Logan. A tree reminded me of the tree house in his parents’ backyard, and that in turn reminded me of Jared’s smile and his heart-melting dimples. A couple walking together nudged a memory, fuzzy until now, of Jared walking me home from the lounge and singing to me. God, I loved his voice. The voice the world was deprived of because Jared hated being in the limelight. Which was kind of ironic when you considered he was the guitarist of a rock band. A rock band that I was positive would be hitting the big-time with their new album.
No way could he avoid the limelight after that.
I walked past a guy sitting on a bench with his girlfriend. He was playing guitar, his eyes closed as he poured out his emotions through the music. He opened his eyes, and the love she clearly felt for him was mirrored back. God, what I would have done to have Jared look at me that way.
He has looked at you that way before, a voice in the back of my head whispered. You were just too blind to see it.
I rolled my eyes. I hadn’t been blind. I had just been honest with myself.
I ignored the laughter echoing in my head. Then realized it wasn’t coming from the voice in my head. It came from the girl with her boyfriend. And that made me miss Jared even more.
I hurried away from them.
After my appointment with the counselor, I drove to my friend’s apartment. She was having a party tonight but told me I was more than welcome to stay for a few days. She had graduated with a degree in illustration and was prepared for my billion questions.
I knocked on her door. The familiar strains of a Pushing Limits song leaked from the apartment, and I sighed. I wasn’t going to get a break, was I? I had hoped that maybe, just maybe, I could go for an hour without thinking about Jared. The universe was currently laughing at me and having a great time at my expense.
The door opened. “Callie,” Samantha shrieked. She threw her arms around me and hugged me like old times. Before I could say anything, she grabbed my arm and dragged me inside. Her place was exactly as I remembered. The tables were cheap and scratched. The couch had faded to a weird shade that was best described as rusty orange, but it was more comfortable than it looked. At least it had been when I used to go to school here.
At least fifteen people were crammed in the small living room. Some were sitting on the chairs or couch. Others were sitting on the floor. The rest were standing. The only thing they had in common was the large flat-screen TV. All eyes were directed at it.
“You’re just in time for the new Pushing Limits song,” Samantha said.
Oh, joy.
“Oh my God, it’s them,” a girl on the floor squeaked as the five guys entered the TV studio and waved to the off-camera audience. “They’re so hot and fuckable.”
“And you know this from experience?” the guy sitting next to her said with a smirk.
She shoved his arm hard. “Of course not. But you can tell they are, and I’ve read the fan pages.”
Ah, yes, the fan pages Hailey had warned me about. She told me not to believe anything written on them when it came to the guys and sex. Most of it was made up. I didn’t ask her how she knew…or why she’d been reading the comments to begin with.
“I want to have Nolan’s babies,” a girl with a blond pixie cut said. “They’d be soooo adorable.”
“He has a girlfriend,” I blurted out. “And I’ve heard they’re very much in love.” You’re welcome, Hailey.
“That’s too bad.”
“Jared’s still available,” another girl said. “He’s super-hot too.”
“But he’s got a child,” pixie cut said, “and is banging the nanny.”
Nice. Now I was Logan’s nanny. The girl must’ve been friends with my ex. And yes, I did remember his comment from the night I got drunk.
“Shhh.” The volume was cranked up, preventing further conversation.
The guys walked to the black leather sectional in the middle of the TV studio. The interviewer, a guy in his late twenties sitting in a matching armchair, had each guy introduce himself to the frenzied screams of the audience. And based on the volume of the screams, the audience consisted mostly of females. Young, horny females.
If the fans’ reaction was any indication, the band’s new album would zoom up the charts.
“How does it feel to be preparing for the release of your new album, Tangled?”
“Exciting,” Mason said. “We can’t wait to get back to touring again and rock the crowds.”
The guys nodded in agreement while I waited with bated breath to see what topics would have a green light and which were off-limits. My guess was that the do-not-even-go-there list included what had happened to Nolan and his family five years ago, and the recent news that Jared had a deaf four-year-old son. The interview should be about the music and not about their personal lives.
The interviewer asked a few more questions, which for the most part Nolan answered, but not without the other guys joking around and adding their own comments. The easy friendship they had in real life came through when they were interviewed together, with Kirk usually the more serious, quiet one and Mason the rambunctious joker of the group.
“You guys recently finished shooting the first video from the album, but instead of premiering it today, you’re singing the title track from your new album unplugged. Correct?” The interviewer looked at the guys for confirmation.
“Actually,” Jared said—and my chest squeezed so hard at his deep voice, I could barely breathe—“we’re going to play a song that isn’t on the album.”
“Oh, so it’s from the first album?”
“No,” Nolan explained, “Jared recently wrote it for someone special. The record label hasn’t even heard it.” My heart rate picked up at his words.
For some reason, Nolan’s news excited the interviewer. “Even better.”
The guys walked to their instruments of choice—all except for Jared. Instead of grabbing his guitar, he stepped up to the microphone.
I stood staring at the screen as Jared started singing.
When we were young
You were always by my side
My friend, my confidante, my sun on a cold winter day
I never felt like I needed to hide away
Not a single person in the room made a sound, all mesmerized by the emotion of the song and his incredible voice.
Thought I could handle the rain
Fell for a rose all beauty, all wrong
Didn’t realize until much too late
Only one real treasure was my fate
This is my song for you
The truth of my heart for you
When the clouds obscure the view
This is my song for you
You’re the only one for me
That’s the way it’s always been
You’re the air and the stars and the moon
This
is my song for you
I didn’t know how the record label would react to the band’s sudden change in plans, especially when the song wasn’t even on the upcoming album and it wasn’t the new single. But in that moment, while Jared sang about his love for a woman he had known forever and who had inspired him to be everything that he was, about his love for the woman who had sacrificed everything for those she loved, I didn’t care what the label thought.
I watched the stars from our old tree house
But it wasn’t the same without you by my side
The sunrise at dawn is what we can have
Just give me a chance to prove we’re strong
Just give me a chance to prove my love
Tears threatened to obscure my vision, and I blinked them away. He loved me? He hadn’t proposed because he figured it was the right thing to do for Logan. He had proposed because he wished to spend the rest of his life with me because he loved me—Logan or no Logan.
And I had rejected him.
I sank onto the corner of the couch, my legs uninterested in holding me up anymore.
But why hadn’t he told me this before? Why write a song and perform it live on TV when Nolan was supposed to be singing their debut single off the album?
I knew the answer. Because what better way to prove his love for me than doing the one thing he’d rather not do—be the one at center stage?
Chapter 41
Jared
The final strains of the song faded and the entire studio broke into overwhelming cheers and applause. I had no idea how it sounded on TV, but here it was deafening.
We returned to the couch. I had done it, but was it enough to convince Callie that I loved her? I wanted to phone her, to find out if she felt the same way about me. I wanted to phone Hailey and hear about Callie’s reaction when she heard the song. But I couldn’t do either of those. We still had the interview to finish.
My Song for You: A Pushing Limits Novel Page 24