by Nathan Jones
A few weeks ago over dinner Sam and April had been talking about the Halloween treat Aaron and Paul had enjoyed last fall. That had caused everyone else to loudly protest, the way people tended to when tantalized by food they couldn't have.
Unsurprisingly, that had led to a discussion about everyone's favorite junk food of choice, which equally unsurprisingly had them all a bit less enthusiastic about the rice and rabbit meat they were eating. It was a painful reminder to them all of a time when they could indulge their cravings at any point with a quick trip to the store.
Trev's awe faded enough for him to tear open the box and grab one of the bars, barely taking the time to remove the wrapper before stuffing it into his mouth. It was like a little piece of heaven, and he slumped down to sit on the partial stack of motor oil boxes he'd made as if his legs could no longer hold him.
He was taking them all. The box probably weighed around 60lbs but he didn't care. He'd find a way to haul the extra weight and deal with the awkward volume.
His cravings overpowered his common sense and he had half a dozen more for dinner, in spite of his stomach rebelling at the rich food it was no longer used to. He didn't care, since not even that discomfort could dampen his enthusiasm over his find.
As he zipped himself into his sleeping bag he imagined the excited expressions on Linda and Jim's faces when he offered his siblings as much candy as they could stuff their faces with. Those pleasant thoughts pushed aside his worries about the daunting mountains he'd have to cross tomorrow, which would probably take more than one day and might take over a week if the snows were heavy across the interstate.
He fell asleep happy for the first time in a long, long time.
Chapter Four
Night Patrol
The evening after the raider attack Lewis decided to patrol along the western edge of town, and even into Aspen Hill Canyon if he got the chance.
Yesterday, not long after Trev left, the town's defenders had thoroughly inspected that area. At that time they'd also confirmed that the raiders' third camp was on the east end of town near Highway 6. All signs seemed to point to the raiders leaving the western end of town alone, possibly because the roads were less reliable there or they didn't consider the mountains to be a good avenue of escape.
Lewis had been one of the ones scouting west of town and had told Matt and the Mayor that the area seemed safe. Only now that he knew Turner had been listening to them over the radio this entire time his earlier assurances didn't sit right with him. The raiders had to know how important that area was to Aspen Hill for hunting or as a possible avenue of escape up the canyon, so why leave it alone?
He meant to find out.
Surprisingly enough he'd managed to get a decent amount of sleep since crashing after the attack. The mood in the house had been subdued, and most everyone had either been sleeping or out protecting the town or preparing for the funeral. Lewis had slept through that, too, which he felt bad about since there were plenty of people he wanted to pay his respects to.
But he was glad he'd gotten some quality rest. He felt more alert now, ready to walk long distances and put some real thought into their situation. So he gathered up his gear and walked out into the gathering dusk to find Matt.
He found his friend at the storehouse setting up sleeping accommodations for the defenders who'd volunteered to sleep away from home so they could respond more quickly to threats, as well as in a more organized fashion. Lewis approved of the idea, although it wouldn't do much for the defenders' morale to be away from their homes and families.
“I'll patrolling to the west,” he said when Matt broke off from a conversation with Ben and Tam and hurried over to him.
“Okay good. The patrol out there is getting back in about an hour, so you shouldn't have any trouble meeting up to relieve them. I've also got a few guys who'll be on the other patrol shifts there at that time. Let me check the roster and show you the route.”
Lewis nodded and followed his friend over to the cashier's counter, which was once again home to Chauncey's radio. Although the retired teacher was nowhere to be seen. Matt kept on glancing quickly at Lewis then away as he gave him a quick briefing, and Lewis could see in his friend's eyes that the man was worried about him, maybe with good reason.
He had a feeling that was going to lead to a pointless conversation that would be awkward for both of them, so the moment his friend finished relaying the pertinent information he nodded to him and started for the door.
“Wait.” Lewis bit back a sigh and turned back to his friend, but thankfully it wasn't about that. “Keep your radio off. Ever since Turner came on the air earlier he and his raiders have been filling the airwaves with the vilest sort of verbal pollution, threats and profanities and that sort of thing. Changing channels doesn't help for long, since he seems to cycle through all the channels our radios are capable of using.”
“Well that's irritating,” Lewis said.
His friend nodded. “More importantly for the patrols and sentries, though, he's regularly pushing the call button, which makes that loud beep that'll alert enemies to your presence even if you have the volume turned down as low as possible. So unless you need to radio in an emergency it's better to keep it off. We'll have ours in town on if you need us, and tonight's channel is 11.” His friend quickly went through a list of code phrases he should be aware of.
He nodded and again made for the door, only to once again be called back. This time when he turned around he saw Matt shifting uncomfortably. “I just wanted to know, well, um...Sam was worried about you. She seemed to think you weren't doing so good.”
Lewis did his best to smile. “Nothing a good night's sleep couldn't fix. I'll see you in the morning, man. Get some rest.” As Matt fumbled to find something else to say he made good on his escape and headed for the west end of town.
On the way he mulled over options he'd come up with while trying to sleep, ways to attack the raiders and do something to turn the fight in their favor. Unfortunately so far he hadn't thought of an effective way to do it without disastrous results, which was why he hadn't mentioned the idea to Matt just yet.
Even assuming the raiders were completely incompetent, which they clearly weren't, with their trucks they'd be able to quickly pursue and surround any group that tried to attack their camps, then mow them down with automatic weapons. He wasn't sure how exactly to avoid that fate, although he figured he'd have plenty of time to mull the problem over while marching through the darkness alone.
Or maybe not. When he reached the edge of town he found someone waiting for him, dressed in body armor from one of the raiders they'd brought down and looking slightly out of breath. Unfortunately only the one Lewis had shot had been carrying night vision equipment, but they'd still got all the useful gear from the others.
It was Jane, which shouldn't have been a surprise. If Matt was worried about him it made sense she would be too. In her own way. His friend must have told her where Lewis was going and she'd run to catch up to him.
“Come to see me off?” he asked as he got within easy talking distance.
She looked at him, light blue eyes seeming darker than usual in the fading light. Most would think she was expressionless, but she simply kept her emotions under tight control. Still, he could see a hint of worry there, along with uncertainty.
Delving into a person's private thoughts wasn't her thing, even to help a friend, and she was probably trying to figure out how to do it. If she tried he knew it was going to be awkward for both of them, probably even more so than Matt's earlier attempt.
Thankfully she chose not to answer, merely hitched her G3 variant on her shoulder and walked over to stand beside him facing the same direction. It was obvious she meant to go with him.
He sighed. He appreciated the gesture, but it felt worse than pointless. The town needed Jane doing more useful things. “You're wasting your time. Patrolling in the dark is next to useless without night vision, and we can't afford to use bot
h of ours on people following the same route.”
Jane just shrugged, and Lewis frowned and tried again. “You know Matt would jump for joy if you wanted to use my goggles to take a different route. You're one of the more qualified people to use them and it would mean everyone would feel more secure about two locations instead of one.”
“Matt looked relieved when I told him I wanted to start taking my shifts with you,” she said.
Lewis fought the urge to sigh again. So this was Matt's solution to whatever problems his friend thought he was having. “Does that seem like the best way we can help the town?”
The redheaded woman hesitated. “I'm not sure I care if it's optimal. Pete can take the goggles, since after his dad's death he's taken a page out of your book and is volunteering nights now too. Or someone else can. Either way I'm taking my shifts with you. We spent weeks patrolling and hunting and doing just about everything else together, and I want to be around someone I can trust to have my back.”
That seemed to settle things with her, because she started forward out of town.
Lewis hesitated before following, but in spite of the irrational guilt he couldn't shake and his desire to be alone he didn't really want to argue. He liked spending time with Jane. Of everyone he knew the only person he felt more comfortable around was Trev, and he'd developed that sort of bond with the redheaded woman in only a few weeks. If she wanted to take her shifts with him then she obviously felt the same way.
But however he felt about the prospect of spending night shifts with a friend he still had to ask. “Why?”
Jane glanced at him, then turned her eyes back to the ground in front of her in the fading light. The uncertainty was back. “You were under a lot of strain, and then suddenly you completely changed up your behavior for no good reason. I-I'm not very good with noticing this kind of thing, but Matt and Sam thought that was something to be worried about and even I agree.”
“I'm fine, nothing a good night's sleep couldn't fix,” Lewis insisted again.
Jane nodded, seemingly accepting that, and silence settled between them for a few minutes. But unlike their usual comfortable silence this one was tense. Whatever Matt might say about Jane's “disengaging” personality she had plenty to say about things she cared about, if she was willing to open up to you, and she could be pretty eloquent with her arguments too.
This was the first time she'd pried into his personal affairs unless he'd offered some detail first. He could tell she was worried and was treading out of her comfort zone to try to reach him about it. Which made him feel rotten for letting her half-question turn into this awkward pause, but he still said nothing.
She cared enough about him to try to get him to open up about his problems. He cared enough about her to not dump those problems on her.
To his surprise after a while she continued on the earlier topic, sounding equal parts sympathetic and determined. “It was hard for me to be treated like a hero for killing three of the four men who attacked my group at the mouth of Aspen Hill Canyon last fall. I'd never killed anyone before, had never really even been in a fight. I had to watch Tom and Alvin dragging those corpses into a line, looking at their faces and knowing that they weren't moving, would never move again, because of me. And then we were welcomed into town and I was celebrated for killing them.”
The redheaded woman turned to look at him, meeting his eye in the growing gloom. “It wasn't easy, and the men I killed were strangers. You knew Ferris and Turner, which had to make it harder even if you didn't like them. Maybe because you didn't like them, since it forced you to question your motives.”
Lewis took a sharp breath. “I've talked this over with Trev,” he said, trying not to sound curt. “I worked through it.”
“Maybe you thought you did, until an attack organized by Turner ended the lives of Mr. Childress and Mr. Daniels on your watch, and 19 other people on the eastern side of town. Then Turner himself showed up on the radio afterwards to gloat about it. After that maybe you had to regret missing that shot you took at him, all the while hearing him accuse you of being a cold blooded killer.”
He looked away, focusing harder on his footing on the rocky ground. “Is that why you want to take these shifts with me, to talk me through my problems?”
From the corner of his eye he saw her short ponytail swing around as she shook her head. “Like I said, I've been through it too. I'll listen if you want to say anything but I'm done with prying. I'm just here because I want to be with you. Tonight, tomorrow, a week from now, as long as it takes before you stop avoiding other people. And afterwards too, if you haven't gotten sick of my company.”
Lewis finally felt a smile tugging the corner of his mouth. “Hasn't happened yet.”
She nudged him lightly with her shoulder in response, and they continued on in more companionable silence along the patrol route. The friendly gesture was enough to turn him from his usual grim musing to something that had been occupying his thoughts since even before the raiders showed up.
He hadn't liked abandoning his shelter, and he wasn't thrilled about moving into town to cram into the Larsons' house with over a dozen other people. But at least he could call a few among the refugees still living there friends. Particularly one redheaded refugee who he'd found he enjoyed spending time with more than anyone aside from his cousin. The prospect of being in a position to spend even more time with her took away a bit of the sting of losing his home.
Not that that prospect didn't come with its own uncertainties.
When first describing Jane Matt had claimed that she didn't like to be around people, but Lewis didn't think that was true at all. From his experience being around her he'd come to realize that what she didn't like was the burden of social obligation: feeling like she had to talk into a silence when she couldn't think of something to say or had no desire to say anything, having to politely listen to other people when they had nothing useful to say but expected her to be attentive anyway, and often being considered rude when she'd had enough and decided to leave.
When sending Lewis out on patrol with the redheaded woman Matt had joked that they'd both be silent the entire time and be happy as clams, and that wasn't entirely inaccurate. Neither one of them had trouble with extended periods of quiet, but if they had something relevant to say they'd say it. And Jane did participate in conversations, if they were about something she wanted to talk about and got straight to the point. She could be surprisingly eloquent and passionate about the topics that interested her.
He'd found something else to his surprise as well. As he'd gotten to know her better he'd clearly seen her standoffishness when it came to physical contact with others and assumed it was something she didn't like. And he knew without a shadow of a doubt that she hated social conventions that were expected of her, like shaking hands with people or enduring hugs from women she barely knew.
But with the few young children in her group, and more recently Aaron and Paul, she had no trouble showing affection. During the few times Lewis had watched her with her group she often had a child in her lap or in her arms. She didn't feel the need to talk much with them, either, but she patiently listened to the inane things children tended to say, and was always quick to instruct them in anything they might not know and guide them where they needed help.
What really surprised Lewis, however, was how she'd changed as he spent more and more time with her. As they got more comfortable around each other she'd gradually begun to sit closer and closer to him until their legs were often touching, and if he sat without a backrest she'd usually come and sit with her back pressed against his. She'd even lean her shoulder against him as they were walking every now and again.
There was nothing awkward about it, but unfortunately it also didn't seem to have the same significance he'd usually put to it, hinting that Jane wanted more than the relationship they had. She just liked physical contact as much as any human, as long as it was someone she was familiar with and could trust. He conside
red it high praise that she felt that comfortable around him.
The problem for Lewis was that he was also just like any human, and his rational mind only gave him so much influence over his feelings. He'd been attracted to her from the start, same as Trev had been, although out of respect for his cousin he'd kept it to himself. Then after seeing Trev's best attempts get shot down Lewis had accepted that Jane wasn't interested in romance and tried to put those feelings out of his head. Which was made easier since the time they'd spent together over the last few weeks seemed to confirm her lack of interest.
Only how did you spend that much time around someone you were attracted to and had a great amount of respect for without developing those kinds of feelings? They seemed perfect for each other, if she only felt the way he did.
But she didn't, and he could accept that. Nothing needed to change between them, and he could manage to put up with his sense of loss for what could've been. Besides, under the circumstances they had more important things to worry about.
This was one of those times when they walked for long periods in companionable silence, occasionally trading off rifles so Jane could look through the scope. Aside from having little to say there was also the pragmatic need to keep quiet, since they were out beyond the town's borders and could potentially encounter enemies at any point.
No reason to give away your position and get shot over chitchat.
As part of today's changes to the patrols Matt had insisted they vary the route, going between a hundred and two hundred yards farther out on the return circuit so their movements wouldn't be so predictable, and also so that they could cover new ground in case the raiders had men holed up in observation posts.
The lack of a familiar path on the return circuit also served to keep them more on edge, reminding them of the need to be cautious. Lewis didn't really need that reminder as he moved slowly on light feet to make as little noise as possible, listening carefully for any unusual noises and looking in all directions. Jane did the same, and even though she didn't have the scope at the moment she did a good enough job of following in his footsteps that he often didn't even hear her behind him.