“What?” she snapped, folding her arms over her chest and staring at James like he was the principal, and she’d just set a cherry bomb off in the bathroom.
“Libby can’t help you,” he said, pacing around and looking completely frustrated with her. “She won’t be able to tell you what you do.”
“She’s my best friend.”
“You two are complete opposites. Libby is a special sort of person. She’s gentle and kind.”
“Are you implying I’m not kind?”
“Are you implying you are?” He raised a brow at her, and she rolled her eyes.
“Fine, but what’s your point? I’m a jerk; your wife’s an angel; it doesn’t mean she can’t give me good advice.”
“You and I,” he looked like he had to force the words. “We are not opposites. Libby can’t tell you what to do because she doesn’t know that feeling. The one where your skin feels too tight, your body too small. You feel like you’re about to implode. Or more like explode, it’s not contained to us. People like us, we have a breaking point, and it’s hard to come back from it.”
“So you have advice for me?” she scoffed but there was a bit of her heart that felt like his words, the way he’d just described her, was the closest anyone had ever come to getting it right.
“Yes. You need a person like Mathew the way I need a person like Libby. We’re always about to explode, and they know what it means to ride that out.”
“I don’t want to be with someone just because I need them.” She truly didn’t. That wasn’t enough of a basis for a relationship in her mind.
“But don’t you see? Libby, she needs someone like me. Otherwise all those people out in the world exploding, they’d take her down. We have a part in this too. But you need to find a way past whatever anger you have.”
“It’s not just the anger,” she admitted. “I’m terrified.”
“Yeah, that too,” he said, running a hand over his head still looking like this was a painful conversation.
“I love him,” she admitted as she shooed a few stray tears off her cheeks. “But he doesn’t understand me. I’m not saying that’s some easy task, but it is a deal-breaker. From day one, every instinct he’s had to help me or protect me, has been the opposite of what I want. Sending his brother to spy on me, it proved when he looks at me, he’s not seeing the person I really am. I need to be more than loved. I need to be understood.”
“And you don’t think with time—?” James started but she cut him off.
“I don’t know,” she admitted, staring down at her shoes. “I just know it’s a deal-breaker.”
“Fair enough,” James said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “A deal-breaker.”
“You know she drank that last drink?” Jessica laughed, trying to lighten the mood. “I hope you know how to hold hair back, because there is no way she’s going to keep down those nachos we just ate.”
“Seriously, you gave her nachos?”
“Gave her?” Jessica snorted. “You ever try to keep her away from melted cheese, she’ll be drafting divorce papers. That’s real advice. Now we’re even.”
“We’re not even,” James said flatly. “Not once those nachos start coming up.”
Chapter 25
“Deal-breaker?” Mathew asked, scratching his head. “I swear I can’t keep up with her. Why is she making this so hard?”
“Before you knew anything about what was important to her, you had a stranger pick her up from work, take her on a helicopter, and sweep her away to some over-the-top dinner. You insulted her intelligence and strength when she told you she had a new job that she was perfectly capable of handling, regardless of who she was working for. Then you called your brother from a thousand miles away and had him spy on her. Who exactly is making all this so hard?” Libby was hungover and her nerves were clearly rubbed raw by this point. “If you want to make this work, then you better start listening to what she’s saying. It’s a deal-breaker.”
“So she’s saying I don’t know her,” he tried again as he paced around his office, both Libby’s and James’s eyes following him. “But I do know her.”
“What do you know?” James asked, clearly trying to prompt the right thoughts to magically appear in his head.
“She loves her job, which is now ruined. Don’t try to sweep her off her feet with some big over-the-top date. Don’t send anyone to watch out for her even if she needs it. So what does she want? How am I supposed to prove I understand her?” He looked intently at Libby as though she were intentionally holding back the answer from him.
“Don’t look at me. I wouldn’t tell you even if I knew,” she shrugged. “But I don’t. I know Jessica very well. Any time she’s been hurt like this or she’s angry, she looks for space. But it doesn’t sound like she wants that from you. I just wish you hadn’t brought your brother down like that. I like Emmitt, he seems really nice, but you screwed everything up. Do you think something’s going on between Emmitt and Evie?”
Her train of thought had officially gone off the track, and she was not making this better, but worse. “I’m going for a walk,” Mathew said and headed for the door. “I’ll figure it out.”
“I hope so,” Libby’s voice sang out behind him as he moved quickly toward the elevator. He needed air. He needed answers. He needed Jessica.
“Where are you off to in a hurry?” Evie asked as they crossed paths in the lobby. “I’m meeting Libby for information about a job here at West Oil now that my acting career is over.”
“Uh . . .” Mathew stuttered. His mind wasn’t in the present and this bubbly girl gushing her life story felt like a noose around his neck, growing tighter with every word she spoke.
“Did you figure out what to do about the whole Jessica thing yet?” Her eyes were so large and curious it was like looking at a kitten blinking hard for a bowl of milk.
“No,” Mathew admitted, brushing by the overly cheery girl his brother had introduced him to yesterday in the lobby of the police station. Evie? Avery? He couldn’t even remember, but from the sound of things she was the latest stray about to be adopted.
“I really hope you do. Jessica is so special.” Her hands were clapped together, and her head tilted to the side with genuine sincerity.
“Yeah,” he replied, stopping in his tracks and facing her. “She is. But you just met her, what makes you say that?”
“Jessica was looking out for me from day one. I’m not just talking about with Pierre. I’m pretty disappointed he kicked me off the movie, but I’m actually more upset she’s not working. That’s the bigger travesty, that he’s running her name through the mud. What she can do with makeup is profound. Her talent is amazing.”
“She lights up when she talks about her work,” Mathew agreed, taking a seat on a bench by reception. “It’s more than just a job to her.”
“I told her about this little scar I have under my chin,” Evie said brightly. “I was walking up the slide at the playground when I was little and I slipped. It wasn’t bad, only five stiches. But a few casting directors had mentioned it to me, that I should try to get it fixed by a plastic surgeon. It made me really self-conscious. When I pointed it out to Jessica she lied and said, ‘I don’t even see it.’ Then she smiled at me and whispered, ‘And when I’m done no one else will either.’”
“She told me before,” Mathew started, “makeup is empowering, and she likes to be the one to show people their flaws aren’t important. They aren’t the only parts of them.” He held that thought in his mind for a moment. Jessica was a strong woman. And unlike some she didn’t get that way by diminishing others. She tried to build them up, help them see themselves in a way they normally couldn’t.
“I liked sitting with her,” Evie laughed. “When I was nervous she made me tea. When I couldn’t get a line right, she’d actually try to work it out with me. It was more than just doing my makeup. She gives you all of herself when she’s doing it. She doesn’t just freshen up your look, she spru
ces up your soul.”
“She’s exactly who that person needs her to be,” he said more to himself than to Evie. That’s how Jessica had described her job, the thing she loved most in her life. And now it would be gone. Pierre would have already begun tarnishing her reputation. But he could fix this. He could save the thing she loved.
Chapter 26
“No, you idiot,” James barked so loudly Mathew had to pull the phone away from his ear. “None of this is going to work. You can’t threaten Pierre into taking back anything he’s said about Jessica. You can’t buy her way to another movie set somewhere. All of that would backfire. For such a brilliant guy, you are acting like a schmuck. I’m not saying you’re on the wrong path, I’m saying you’re running in the wrong direction.”
“I should call my mom,” Mathew said, snapping his fingers at the epiphany. “She’s great at this crap.”
“My mom is too,” James said, his voice dropping some. “She was, I mean, good at this stuff. I think sometimes that’s why I am so bad at it, because she died so young.”
“Cancer right?” Mathew asked, treading lightly. James didn’t open up frequently about the past, but things were changing. Everything was changing lately.
“Yeah, cancer. I’ll tell you now that I have Libby I can’t imagine what it was like for my father to watch her decline like that. My mom was a beautiful vibrant woman, and it just stole the life out of her, long before she died.”
“Sorry man,” Mathew offered, feeling at a loss for any kind of words that might help.
“What the hell’s gotten into me lately?” James asked, shaking off the bizarre moment of emotional depth. “Forget I said that and don’t call your mom; it’s cheating. You’ll figure it out on your own.”
“Why are you so sure?” Mathew needed something from his friend, some sort of reassurance that he could pull this off. Because he still wasn’t positive his drive to get Jessica back would be enough to actually accomplish it.
“Because you don’t give up, even when people are hard to figure out. You stick around until you make it work. Case in point, just look at us. We’ve figured this shit out.”
And like a tiny spark landing on a parched piece of wood, something inside him ignited. There was a way to give Jessica everything she wanted without giving her anything at all. But he couldn’t do it alone.
Chapter 27
The small knock on her door was Mathew; she was certain of it. He’d called her earlier that morning to make sure it was all right for him to stop by. Promising her he was ready to finally speak her language to show he understood her at the deepest level, she found it impossible to say no.
“I thought you might have given up by now,” Jessica sighed, and the tug at her chest at the sight of him was impossible to ignore.
“Did you want me to?”
“No.” She pulled her apartment door shut and followed him down the stairs. “I’m sorry I’ve made this seem so difficult. These aren’t games I’m playing.”
“I know,” he assured her as he turned halfway around and smiled. “I’m sorry you’re dealing with the shit you are. I know how important your career is to you.”
“Was,” she corrected. “My career was important to me. Now I’m just getting to a point where I can move past it. I’ve given it a lot of thought, and while I usually go down fighting I’ve decided to take another approach.”
“And what approach is that?” he asked, leaning against the wall and feeling hopeful yet anxious.
“It’s a combination of lots of ice cream and sad movies late at night,” she said with a pathetic laugh. “You said it before: there are lots of different things I could do. Maybe I’ll take up needlepoint or something.”
“You’d be awful at that,” Mathew replied with a shake of his head. “You don’t have the patience for it.”
“Probably right,” she resigned, pulling open her freezer and taking an inventory of her ice cream.
“How bad is it?”
“Only two pints left.”
“No,” he chuckled. “I mean how bad is the Pierre thing?”
“I’m blacklisted. If you thought maybe that wasn’t a real thing, it is. My best bet today is doing makeup at the cosmetic counter at the mall. And you know what? Maybe that’s not a bad thing. There are plenty of nice people who come in, and I’ll still get to do what I love.” She pulled out the rocky road and shrugged. “Well, sort of.”
“How is it that he can blacklist you, but none of this blows back on him? Do people really assume he’s not an asshole? Because I had him pegged the first time I saw him.”
“What a magical world you must live in.” She sighed. “A man can be an asshole; it makes him powerful. A man can be unfaithful and promiscuous. It makes him human, or if he’s lucky, a player. If a woman is loud, unforgiving, demanding, or sexual do you know what that makes her?”
“Um . . .” Mathew knew better than to answer.
“The safest thing to do in a tricky situation with a woman is call her crazy. It’s a catch-all and sadly it works. So I will always be the crazy, jealous, unhappy woman who scalded his manhood with a curling iron. It won’t matter why I did it or what the truth is. People will continue to work with him, and I’ll continue to be crazy as far as they are concerned.”
“I’m really sorry,” he offered again, but she waved him off.
“I never really got to tell you why I went to work for Pierre. That is the decision I made that put all of this into motion. I can at least explain to you why I did it.”
“I was wondering,” he admitted, being the kind of person who hated unsolved puzzles.
“You know how people say when one door closes another opens? I never really closed that door between Pierre and me. That half opened door kept me from moving on to the next opportunity. Every time I’d even consider it, I’d peek my head through there and remember everything that had happened.”
“And now?”
“Oh, it’s closed. It’s locked. Hell, I boarded it up like a cartoon character trying to keep the big bad wolf out. But I needed to face him in order to do that. I needed to work there, maybe just so I could quit. The first time he left me it happened so fast and hurt so badly I never got hold of all of it, do you know what I mean?”
“Yes,” Mathew said, reaching up and tucking her silky hair behind her ear. “I might not have understood or agreed with it at the time, but now looking at you on the other side of it, I can see why you took the job.”
“Don’t get me wrong; I’m certainly having second thoughts now. At night, when it’s quiet and I realize I might not be able to have much of an impact anymore. That bothers me.”
“If you come with me today, you’ll realize just how much of an impact you can have.”
“Can I tell you what I’m afraid of?” she whispered, dropping her head down solemnly. “I’m afraid you’re going to try to do something to fix this that won’t really fix it. Buying a production studio and making a movie just because you want me to work on a movie set again scares me because I’m afraid you would be missing the point. I don’t want to be bought into happiness.”
“I know that,” he replied with a victorious smile. “I’ve bought you nothing. I’ve threatened no one. You said you wanted to be understood, not just loved. It took me a little while to sort it out, but I understand you now. Come with me.”
He took the ice cream from her hands and the two unused spoons and put them away. “No need for ice cream right now. We’ll pop some champagne later. Just grab your makeup supplies and come with me.”
“I’m bringing my makeup equipment?” she asked, looking thoroughly terrified. “Why?”
“We had a bet,” he challenged, taking her hand in his. “We had a bet that I would do things your way for a week, and then you would try things my way. I’m collecting on my week. It starts now.”
“Warm up the helicopter,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“Nope, we’re walking.”
“
Walking?” she asked, pulling her hand back. “Let’s not go crazy. I want to be down to earth, not third world. Please don’t make me burn calories.”
“It’s not far. Right around the corner. That’s what makes this so perfect. Your future is in very close proximity.”
“You bought me a future?” she grumbled skeptically.
“No, you earned your future; I’m just connecting you to it.”
“Are you sure my future isn’t in the bottom of an ice cream container? Because I’ve been on a dedicated search to find out. I’m talking about hours upon hours of pursuit.” She reached with a pouting face toward the freezer, but he tugged her away.
“It’s my week. You have to come.”
Chapter 28
The walk was indeed short. No more than six blocks from her apartment. But just because it was close to home didn’t make it any less mysterious.
“This is it,” Mathew beamed as he opened the glass doors of what looked like an office building.
“You bought me a building?” she asked, as she navigated the wheeled bag full of her supplies in.
“No. I told you I bought you nothing. No money has been exchanged in the making of this perfect day.”
“This sounds a whole lot like you’re doing things by my philosophy more than by yours.” She slipped her hand into his and practically felt the pulsing of excitement that ran through his veins.
“There’s room for both of our viewpoints. I think we’ll need a little bit of me and a little bit of you to make this work.”
“Make what work?” she asked, feeling a bit annoyed to still be in the dark about what was going on. Jessica was still braced for an epic failure. Maybe Mathew had gathered everyone she’d ever known into a room. The floors would be layered with rose petals. The lights would be low and welcoming. A band would play her favorite love song and the spotlight would be on her. She might not be afraid of big gestures anymore, but it didn’t mean she liked them either. If he missed the mark she’d be crushed.
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