All those times she pretended to run away. Like an idiot, I gave chase every fucking time. She threw away my company. And for what? Money? I would’ve given her anything she asked for. Didn’t I prove that the day she sent Alex? All she had to do was ask, and I would’ve laid the world at her feet. She didn’t have to go and sell me out like this.
I was a fool for believing she felt my pain when I told her about Bridget and how I was about to lose my company. It was all a goddamn act. None of it ever mattered to her. I jerked to my feet. I needed to see it in her eyes.
In two strides, I closed the space between us. I cupped the nape of her neck and forced her to look at me. A moan escaped her lips, stirring the familiar desire in me, but I didn’t back down. I ignored the pout of her lips and her small hands kneading my abs. Tears pooled in her eyes when I put my thumb below her jaw to keep her from looking away, desperate to find a different truth in her eyes.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Did You Think of Me?
Valentina
Cole shot me a dark glare when I crossed the threshold. My legs and hands trembled at the sight of him. I’d never seen him this furious. By the look on his friend’s face, he hadn’t either. I stepped back. Should I leave them to deal with whatever they had going on? I opened my mouth to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out. What could I say? I should go, but that’d be like running away. In the last few weeks, Cole had shown me running was never the answer.
Whatever Cole was going through, we could face it together. I smiled. Together sounded nice. Even if we still hadn’t addressed our feelings after I blurted out I was in love with him. I’d considered that maybe he didn’t take my confession seriously because, well, I’d said it right after a mind-blowing orgasm. But that wasn’t why I’d done it. I wanted him to know I was in love with him. Getting it off my chest had felt good. I’d given him time to digest the news, but now we needed to talk about it. Maybe not right this second, especially with Cole shooting daggers at me.
Stepping into the living room, I waved hello at the man standing next to Cole. He was almost as tall as Cole, with cobalt-blue eyes and dark, wavy hair. His skin was only a shade lighter than mine. The man was intimidating, but at this moment, he didn’t look half as terrifying as Cole.
“Is everything okay?” I asked when both men just stared at me as if I had just committed a heinous crime.
Cole trod toward me, a vein throbbing in his temple, his eyes wet. My breath hitched. With a painful tug, he gripped my neck. His face was just an inch away as his eyes surveyed mine. Had he been crying? I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I couldn’t get the words out. His hold on me was too tight. Pressing my palms on his chest and abs, I pushed him. His heart pounded so hard his chest strained, as if it were about to split open. He himself was about to spin out of control.
“Cole,” his friend spoke. “Let’s take a second to think this through.”
“There’s nothing to think through. It’s all very clear to me now.” When he released me, he fisted his hands so tight one of his scabs ripped and bled.
I’d been here before. I let my guard down, and somehow I ended up back where I’d started, at the receiving end of a man’s anger. And just like the first time, I had no idea what I’d done wrong. You said you were different. You said I could trust you. The hatred in his eyes was too much for me to bear. I turned to leave, but Cole took a long stride and grabbed my wrist. I yanked my arm, but he caught my other wrist with his free hand and held me close to him. His breathing was ragged, and he smelled of liquor.
“You were never on my side, were you? That whole innocent act, you telling me the truth about Bridget—it was all lie. You’ve been working for her this entire time.” His eyes searched my face again.
Tears rolled down my cheeks. “Cole, I told you the truth that night. I would never do anything to hurt you.” I looked behind him to his friend.
Cole jerked my hands to get my attention back. “Answer me.” He tightened his grip. “Or did you act on your own? You saw the opportunity to make some money and you took it. Was that it? You saw what a fool I was in your hands and decided you could get away with it?” His eyes were red and swollen with unshed tears. “Because of you, I lost everything. Goddammit, Valentina, you gave her my company. You threw my entire life away like it was yesterday’s trash.” Despite the anger in his expression, his voice quavered, lips so close to mine.
I pressed my forehead against his. “I promise. I would never do anything to hurt you. Cole, I love you.”
“How convenient. Now you have feelings for me?” He shook his head. “Or was it Alex Maio? Did he make you do this?”
“Alex? What does he have to do with any of this? You never told me why you two fought.”
His thumb rubbed the inside of my wrist. “Don’t pretend. Tell the truth. Please.”
“What did he tell you?” I asked him. Alex was capable of anything just to get what he wanted. I’d seen that firsthand.
“He asked me for fifty thousand dollars in exchange for you. To give you up, or whatever it is you two have.” He pursed his lips and lowered his arms, forcing me to one knee.
“How could you think this about me? Please. You’re hurting me.” I yanked at my hands just as he released me. I lost my balance and fell to the floor. For a moment, I thought he’d reached out to catch me in his arms.
“And like an idiot, I agreed to pay.” His pained expression broke my heart.
His friend wedged himself between us. “Enough. Cole.” He offered me his hand, but I slapped it away.
I met Cole’s gaze and stood, rubbing the scrapes on my palms. I hoped my eyes showed the same hate as his. “You paid for me? What? Why? Because I wouldn’t sleep with you? Damn you, Cole. I’m not a thing.” I wanted to punch him, hurt him. He couldn’t possibly think that Alex had that kind of hold on me. Or that I would agree to something so repulsive.
He pressed a fisted hand to his forehead, biceps straining as if he was doing everything he could not to lose control.
“I thought you knew me. How can you believe any of this about me?”
“You were certainly very accommodating afterward,” he said.
“You don’t have to be so hurtful.” I hit his chest hard, but it was like hitting a wall. It hurt me more than it did him. He wrapped his arms around me and pinned my arms to my sides, his face in my hair, his hot breath branding me.
With a growl, he pulled back and stared at me. “What about the pain you’ve caused me? Huh? Did you think about that? Did you think of me?” For a second, his gaze fell to my mouth, and I thought he was going to kiss me.
“When Nikki was here and it all looked like you had betrayed me, you asked me to believe in you, and I did. Now it’s your turn. You have to believe me too. Or at least listen to me. Give me the chance to explain.”
“I don’t have to do shit for you.” He released me, grabbed a glass off the table, and hurled it across the room. It hit the wall, and shards scattered everywhere. “Get out of my house. Now.”
“Cole.” His friend placed a hand on his arm.
Shoulders slumped, he trudged to the couch and leaned on the armrest. “You betrayed me. I let you in. And you repay me in the worst way possible.” He stopped to take a deep breath. This was him using all the self-control he could muster, which I knew was a whole lot. “Get out.” His words reverberated around the room, loud and menacing.
Thanks to the anger I felt, my legs managed to get me out of his house with some sort of dignity. I wanted to plead with him again. But I realized I had no idea what he thought I’d done to his company. Pressing the matter wouldn’t help either one of us. The best thing for me to do was to do as he’d asked and leave. I crossed the lawn as fast as I could without breaking into a run. Behind me, Cole continued to hurl more things at the wall.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Talk to Him
Valentina
I went inside the cottage and slammed the door behind me
, panting as I struggled to catch my breath and keep my breakfast down. My hands shook violently. I pushed back the hair plastered to my face and rushed to my bedroom to grab my big suitcase from under the bed. Lost in a blur of tears and accusations, I dumped the suitcase on the mattress and threw all my clothes in it. My head throbbed, but I couldn’t slow down. No time for wallowing in self-pity. If I hurried, I could have the essentials packed before I had to pick up Max from camp.
Max. How was I going to tell him I’d lost us our home? I’d failed him. I couldn’t give him the family he wanted for more than two weeks. Dammit. None of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t let my guard down, if I hadn’t let Cole in, if I hadn’t fallen for him. If. If. And now here we were back to square one, and once again, it was all my fault. My own stupid fault. Like before, when Alex left me and I had to run back to my parents with my tail between my legs.
But I had no choice. My pride didn’t matter. Max’s safety, his happiness—that was all I cared about. I went to his room next and threw his clothes and coloring stuff in the same bag.
In under three hours, I was out of Cole’s cottage and in line to pick up Max at school. My hands were still shaking, but at least the crying had stopped. I checked myself in the rearview mirror, using a wipe to clean up the smeared mascara. The red eyes could pass for allergies, I told myself, hoping Max wouldn’t remember that he’d never seen me suffer from allergies.
“Hi, Mom.” He climbed in the car. He sounded like such a big kid, but he wasn’t. “You look sad, Mommy.”
“Me? No. Just tired. I had a rough day at work.” I waited for him to buckle up before I put the car in drive. It was now or never. “Hey, you know what I was thinking? I think we should go see Abuela this weekend. We haven’t seen her in weeks.” I toned down the happy voice when he didn’t say anything. “Right?”
“That’s a great idea. I miss Abuela. Let’s go now.” He sounded excited.
I glanced up, saying a little prayer. “You know what? Yeah, let’s go now.”
I pulled out of the parking lot and headed west toward Casa Grande. I had forty-five minutes to figure out what to tell my parents. Assuming I still had a job, I would need at least two weeks to find a new place to live. Would Bridget let me keep my job, even though I didn’t help her get Cole’s company? Now I understood why she didn’t badger me about it on Monday. She’d already found a way to get CCI, but how did she do it? And why did Cole think I had anything to do with it?
But I couldn’t worry about that now. First, I needed to make sure Max and I would have a place to stay. I needed a list.
1. Swallow my pride and ask my parents to let us stay with them for a few weeks. At least two.
2. Find a new place.
3. Get my cousins to move my stuff, again.
4. Schedule pickup with Em.
5. Get over Derek Cole.
I mentally drew two lines under his name, rubbing my temple. What happened, Cole? What did I do to make you hate me? I peeked at Max in the rearview mirror. The hole in my chest grew bigger and pushed against my lungs. I swallowed the lump in my throat and focused on the road ahead.
By the time I pulled into Mom’s driveway, I had a plan—sort of. I had no idea if it would help me get over Cole, but it would at least help in getting Max and me back on track. Damn you, Cole.
“Well, this is the best surprise,” Mom said from the threshold, her arms opened wide as she waited for Max to run to her.
“We thought it’d be good to come and visit for the weekend.” I was a jerk for lying to them. First about the unconventional living arrangements with Cole and now about the real reason for our visit.
Mom didn’t question me at all, though, which felt like a punch to the gut. “See? I keep telling your dad my soup never fails. Every time I make my special beef soup, visitors show up. I can’t believe it brought you this time. Come on in. It’s almost ready.”
I helped Mom set the table. I brought Dad his beer and even poured one for myself. He cheered me, a big smile on his face. The guy was just happy to have a drinking buddy. Or was that pity in his eyes? I took a long swig of my beer and sat down.
“How’s that fancy job of yours?” he asked. “You happy?”
I was happy. “It’s great.”
“You have to meet Derek Cole.” Max saved me from having to elaborate on my “it’s great,” though his comment opened up a whole new can of worms.
“Oh yeah? Who is he?” Mom came out of nowhere, her eyes twinkling. She set a bowl of beef soup in front of me.
I swallowed hard and looked down, blinking fast. “He owns the house we’re renting. He’s nice.”
“His real name is Derek Weston Cole…and…he has the coolest cat. His name is Pirate. And he’s soft and comes over to our house, and we get to feed him.” Max sat on his heels in his chair, and proceeded to tell Mom and Dad all about Cole, how we played baseball last weekend and had lunch by the pool. And…oh my God.
“He threw your mom in the pool?” Dad furrowed his brows. He opened his mouth, but Mom elbowed his arm.
My stomach dropped. Flashes of Derek’s hands on me when we were under water swirled in my head. “Yeah, he just pushed me.” I breathed out through my nose and shrugged.
Just like that, my whole charade was over. Mom and Dad exchanged meaningful looks. They knew why I was here. They knew that Cole was more than my landlord, that I was here because something had gone wrong. I’d fallen for the wrong guy. Again.
Yeah. No, I didn’t learn my lesson before.
When dinner was over, Mom sent both Max and me to our rooms to get ready for bed. She wouldn’t even let me help with the cleanup. Some things never changed, or at least when I was home, things quickly went back to the way they were. I was nineteen years old again, with a brand new baby, lost and confused.
I did what I was told, took a long shower, and brushed my teeth. Back in my bedroom, I found Dad had already brought my luggage in. If the oversize suitcase didn’t confirm their suspicions, I didn’t know what would. Why would I pack all our clothes for a weekend visit?
I dressed in my nightclothes and fell on the pillow face down, glad it muffled my sobbing. My heart was broken, and no list in the world could fix that.
A soft knock on the door brought me back. Mom didn’t wait for me to answer. She pushed open the door and set down a plate on my bedside table—cookies and hot chocolate. That was her remedy for everything. I curled up, too embarrassed to tell her what happened. She sat on the bed and rubbed my arm. Through puffy eyes, I peeked at the clock. Midnight. I’d been sleeping for almost five hours. Tears tracked down my cheeks again. I had no control over them anymore.
“You can stay as long as you want. You know that.” She fixed my pillows so I could sit up, then offered me a cookie.
“I screwed up again.” I scooted up and took it from her.
“Don’t say that, Val. Life happens. That’s it.” She got comfortable on the bed. The same way she had the night I told her I was pregnant and my boyfriend was as good as gone. Yeah. It was going to be another long night. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I met someone.” My voice was barely a whisper.
“What’s he like?” She gave me a gentle smile. “Is this the friend Max has been talking about all night?”
I nodded. “Everything was perfect. But he just turned on me. I’m not sure what happened.” I wiped my face. My cheeks felt puffy and sticky.
“Do you love him?” She waved her hand. “Of course, you do.”
“I’m such an idiot. I never should’ve let him get close.”
“I’m glad you did. It means you’ve finally forgiven yourself. I’ve been worried about you all this time. You got your heart broken more than six years ago, and just like that, you decided you were no longer worthy of love.”
“I didn’t do that.”
She laughed, smoothing the hair away from my face. “You were so set on doing your penance. There was no getting through to you.
I tried to explain that life happens, that we all make mistakes. I tried to talk to you so many times, but you wouldn’t have it.” Her words were full of patience and understanding. “You deserve a second chance at love as much as anyone else.”
Penance? Was that what I’d been doing? Punishing myself for falling for someone who didn’t care about me?
No. I’d stayed away from men all these years because I wanted to focus on Max. He needed me. Mom made it sound as if I was using Max as an excuse. Was she right in saying I hadn’t forgiven myself for what happened?
In a way, Cole had helped me find myself again. He’d showed me I was still capable of falling in love. That I deserved more. “Well, you’d be happy to know I tried. I tried really hard. But he’s gone now.” I rubbed my nose on my pajama top.
“Talk to him.” She shrugged, patting my hand.
Talk to him? It sounded so simple. How could I do that when he couldn’t stand the sight of me? Every time I closed my eyes all I could see was the hatred in his gaze. Tears crept up again, building up the pressure in my chest. Even if he couldn’t love me because of what’d happened, I didn’t want him to hate me like that. It hurt too much.
“He doesn’t want to see me.”
“For now. Give it time. If he’s as good as Max says and if he really deserves your heart, he’ll come around. And you’ll get your chance to speak your piece.”
I shook my head. “You didn’t see him like I did. He was so angry, out of control.”
“Sounds to me he was hurting as much as you.” She put up her hand when I opened my mouth to speak. “Let’s not get into it right now. I think you’ve been through enough for one night. Sleep. Things will be so much better in the morning. I promise.” She kissed my cheek. “We’ll figure this out, okay?”
She folded the sheet over my chest and tucked in the edge under the mattress. The way she used to do when I was little to keep the monsters away. On her way out, she turned on the nightlight and left with a wink.
Love Over Lattes Page 19