Lover

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by Anna Raverat


  “Naturally,” says Ben.

  “OK, well, let me know if you want to do that,” I say, doubting everything I just heard.

  “I do want to do that,” he avers.

  “Oh! Well then, let me know when you’d like to do that,” I say.

  78

  Hester went off Diego and grew her hair. Now she wants to be a doctor. For her birthday last week I gave her a first-aid kit and a real stethoscope and now she’s asking everyone, “What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?”

  “A sprained ankle,” said my mother.

  “Cut knees when I fell over when I was three,” said Milla.

  “A cyst behind my ear. I had an operation to remove it—you can still see the scar,” said Dad.

  “A broken elbow in a car accident—you could see right down to the bone,” said the postman.

  “Broken heart,” I said.

  “Oh, Mummy, you’re all right now. Tell me another one, a really good one, with bones sticking out, and blood running all over the place so I might slip on it.”

  And it’s true, it’s mended very well, my heart. There’s still an ache sometimes, but that’s OK. Trish wasn’t completely wrong—the heart is a muscle, after all, and muscles need to be used. They need care and attention, regular exercise to keep them in good condition. People say time heals, but I don’t think that’s quite right—time is an anesthetic; tenderness and gratitude are what truly heal.

  * * *

  The Mythos Suites Hotel is just a bus ride away, but some mornings I have to go in early and on these mornings I leave the girls to have breakfast and then Noreen comes by to take them to school. The other day I noticed an empty box in the recycling that I hadn’t put in there and asked if they’d had an Orange Maid for breakfast.

  “Yeah,” said Milla.

  “But you can’t have ice lollies for breakfast!” I said. “There’s nothing in them!”

  “They’re refreshing and there’s vitamin C inside, actually. It says so on the packet,” said Hester.

  “But they’re not very filling,” I said.

  “It’s OK, Mum—we had three each,” said Milla.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Thanks to Noreen Smyth, Laura Wade-Gery, Allie Boddington, Carolyn Stalins, Nikki Kastner, Ed McGarry, Roy Butlin, Russell Hansen, Tom Williams, Linda Pearce, and Panagiotis Chrysostomou for stories and moments that helped me write this book.

  Thanks to my publisher, Paul Baggaley, for his support, and the wonderful team at Picador, particularly Francesca Main, Emma Bravo, Francesca Pearce, Claire Gatzen, and Ansa Khan Khattak.

  Thank you, Sarah Crichton, for spotting the sucker-punch moments I was holding back from.

  Thank you, Nancy Rawlinson and Jenny Turner, for reading the manuscript and helpful feedback.

  Thank you, Paul McDermott, for helping me when I got stuck with this book.

  Thank you to my daughter Lola Linehan for saving us both from the embarrassment of a naff title.

  Thank you, thank you, thank you to Kate Harvey and Georgia Garrett for so many insightful comments, precise observations, generosity, enthusiasm, and warmth.

  And thanks to Shakespeare’s Macbeth, of course.

  A NOTE ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Anna Raverat grew up in North Yorkshire and studied English at King’s College, Cambridge University. She lives in London with her three children and is a consultant in organization and team development and leadership. Lover is her U.S. debut. You can sign up for email update here.

  CONTENTS

  Title Page

  Copyright Notice

  Dedication

  Epigraph

  Part One

  1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

  8

  Part Two

  9

  10

  11

  12

  13

  14

  15

  16

  17

  18

  19

  20

  21

  22

  23

  24

  25

  26

  Part Three

  27

  28

  29

  30

  31

  32

  33

  34

  35

  36

  37

  38

  39

  40

  41

  42

  43

  44

  45

  46

  47

  48

  49

  50

  51

  52

  53

  54

  55

  56

  57

  58

  59

  60

  61

  62

  63

  64

  65

  66

  67

  68

  69

  70

  71

  72

  73

  74

  Part Four

  75

  76

  77

  78

  Acknowledgments

  A Note About the Author

  Copyright

  Sarah Crichton Books

  Farrar, Straus and Giroux

  18 West 18th Street, New York 10011

  Copyright © 2016 by Anna Raverat

  All rights reserved

  Originally published in 2016 by Picador, an imprint of Pan Macmillan, Great Britain

  Published in the United States by Sarah Crichton Books / Farrar, Straus and Giroux

  First American edition, 2017

  Grateful acknowledgment is made for permission to reprint the following material:

  To the Easton Foundation for permission to reprint text from Louise Bourgeois’s Untitled (I Have Been to Hell and Back), 1996. Embroidered handkerchief; 49.5 × 45.7 cm. © The Easton Foundation/Licensed by VAGA, New York, NY.

  Excerpt from We’re Going on a Bear Hunt reprinted in the United States with the permission of Margaret K. McElderry Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division, from We’re Going on a Bear Hunt by Michael Rosen. Copyright © 1989 by Michael Rosen. All rights reserved.

  Excerpt from We’re Going on a Bear Hunt. Text © 1989 by Michael Rosen. Illustrations copyright © 1989 by Helen Oxenbury. Reproduced in Canada by permission of the publisher, Candlewick Press, Somerville, MA, on behalf of Walker Books, London.

  To Crazyhorse and Dave Smith for permission to reprint an excerpt from Dave Smith’s 1971 interview with William Stafford, published in Crazyhorse, vol. 7.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Names: Raverat, Anna, author.

  Title: Lover: a novel / Anna Raverat.

  Description: First American edition.|New York: Sarah Crichton Books/Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2017.

  Identifiers: LCCN 2016032803|ISBN 9780374193652 (hardcover)|ISBN 9780374715687 (e-book)

  Subjects: LCSH: Self-realization in women—Fiction.|Life change events—Fiction.|Married women—Fiction.|Adultery—Fiction.|Domestic fiction.|BISAC: FICTION / Literary.|FICTION / Family Life.|FICTION / Contemporary Women.

  Classification: LCC PR6118.A387 L69 2017|DDC 823/.92—dc23

  LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016032803

  Our e-books may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at 1-800-221-7945, extension 5442, or by e-mail at [email protected].

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