Now he was ashamed after seeing what his mamm obviously had to contend with sometimes after the chemo treatments. He’d come here to help her, and while he’d hoped he and his dat could resolve their differences, he’d warned himself not to expect too much—certainly, not to expect any improvement too quickly.
He had to keep the main goal in mind: he’d promised his mudder that he’d return and help her. He needed to focus on that and stop being selfish and thinking about himself.
His ears perked when he heard the squeak on the stairs a little while later. Who was up? It must be his mudder—his dat had been too unsteady on his feet to venture downstairs.
David got up and pulled on his robe and a pair of socks. He went downstairs, his steps silent on the stairs.
“Can’t sleep?”
His mother spun around, one hand pressed to her heart. “Oh, my, you scared me!”
“I heard that top stair squeak. Guess you didn’t because of that.” He gestured at the teakettle that was just beginning to hiss.
She nodded and turned off the flame.
“I remember that stair got me into trouble a few times,” he told her.
“The stair did, eh?”
He chuckled. “You always knew when one of us sneaked in late. I’d have thought you’d have had Daed fix it after all this time.”
“No need to after all of you left.”
He touched her shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
She shrugged. “What’s done is done.” She poured boiling water in a mug. “Want some tea?”
He made a face. “I don’t suppose we have some hot chocolate mix?”
“Schur.” She started to walk toward the cupboard, but he shook his head and went looking for himself.
“Get me a chamomile tea bag, would you?”
They fixed their hot drinks and sat at the table. The scent of flowers and chocolate filled the room.
“There are some cookies if you want them.”
The memory of cleaning the bathroom just minutes before was still too vivid. He shook his head. “Is he asleep?”
“The minute his head hit the pillow.”
“Does this happen after every treatment?”
She shook her head and took a sip of her tea. “The doctor gave him something for the nausea, but he won’t take it.” She rubbed her forehead and sighed.
“You need to get some rest.”
“I think I’m too tired to sleep.”
“I hope his tests are gut next week, and he won’t have to go through any more chemo.”
“Some of the women from church stopped by yesterday to tell me everyone’s praying.”
David felt a stab of guilt. He hadn’t prayed for his dat. He hadn’t talked to God for a long time. While he’d lived at home he’d asked God for help and he hadn’t gotten it. Finally, in desperation, he’d had to leave home.
So he hadn’t thought to pray to God when he heard his dat was ill. Now, after he hadn’t so much as thanked God for a meal, would God listen to him?
***
“Allrecht, ready? We lift on the count of three. “One, two, three!”
Lavina and Mary Elizabeth lifted the rollaway bed up onto the spring wagon. Lavina sagged against the back of the wagon. “That was heavier than I thought it was.”
Mary Elizabeth curled her fingers into a fist and they fist-bumped. “But we did it.” She looked over past Lavina. “Leave it to a man to come along after we’ve gotten the job done.”
Lavina turned and saw David pull into the drive. She sighed. “Tell me my face doesn’t look sweaty,” she muttered.
“You look fine.”
David climbed out of his truck and walked up to them. “Guder mariye. Do you need some help?”
“Lots more in the house,” Mary Elizabeth told him.
“She’s joking,” Lavina said quickly. “Unless she’s willing to give up her bed.”
“Can I take this somewhere for you?”
She shook her head. “Danki, but we can handle it.”
Kate had warned her that the address of the shelter had to remain secret.
“You schur? Looked like it was a bit much for the two of you.”
“Guess you never heard that Englisch song? ‘We are women, hear us roar.’”
“Uh, nee, can’t say I have.”
“She has an Englisch friend who calls herself a feminist. Very into women’s rights,” Mary Elizabeth explained. “Not at all like most of the women here.”
“I see.”
Lavina thought David looked a little confused.
“Well, we have to get going,” Lavina told him, feeling awkward. She sent Mary Elizabeth a look, and her schweschder climbed into the passenger seat of the wagon.
“If you’re schur I can’t follow you and help you.”
“Nee, don’t follow me!”
He frowned. “I won’t. I’m not in the habit of going where I’m not wanted. Well, not usually.”
He turned to walk to his truck.
Now she felt terrible. “I appreciate your offer,” she said quickly. “But Mary Elizabeth and I want to do this.”
“Allrecht.”
“David?”
“Ya?”
“How is your dat?”
“Not feeling so gut after his last treatment. Mamm says this happens sometimes.”
“I’m sorry. Maybe we can stop by with some food later. I’m schur she’s tired from taking care of him.”
“She’d like a visit, I’m schur. See you later.”
Lavina climbed into the wagon, ignored the curious look Mary Elizabeth was giving her and called to Daisy.
“I appreciate your helping me with this.”
“You’ve been telling me how much fun you’re having. I can’t wait to see the quilting class.”
Pearl was delighted with the bed, and Lavina was delighted to find that the woman’s husband and her teenage son were on hand to help unload it.
“What a wonderful idea,” Pearl said as Lavina and Mary Elizabeth followed the men into a bedroom to show them how to set up the bed and pull out the trundle. “Some of the children—especially the youngest—are so scared when they come here they want to sleep with their mothers. This way they can be close but she’ll still get her rest.”
“I was thinking this might be good for Ellie. Kate called her a Velcro kid. She said the kids get so scared they stick to their mothers like Velcro. ”
Pearl nodded. “I think we’ll move her and her mother into this room this afternoon if they like it. Thank you so much, Lavina, Mary Elizabeth.”
“You’re very welcome.” It felt gut to Lavina to see something that hadn’t been used in some time be put to use. God wanted people to circulate things they no longer needed. One of the lay ministers had read the Bible verse about it from the Book of John last Sunday, and it had really touched her.
Kate had already arrived and many of the women taking the class were at their machines. Mary Elizabeth wasn’t shy, but after Kate introduced her to the class she kept in the background and observed.
Halfway through the class Carrie came in, got her project box from a shelf, and took a seat in the back near Mary Elizabeth.
“Another Amish chick, huh?”
Mary Elizabeth grinned at her, ignoring her sarcastic tone. “Ya, nice to meet you. I’m Mary Elizabeth, Lavina’s sister. Are you enjoying the class?”
Carrie shrugged. “It’s something to do. It’s pretty boring around here.’’
“Really? What do you like to do?”
Lavina bit back a smile as she watched the two. Mary Elizabeth loved to talk but even more she loved meeting new people, especially Englisch people since she didn’t venture out much.
Another shrug of the shoulders. “I like to cook. Not that the jerk I was married to was ever happy with anything I cooked.”
“I love to cook, too,” Mary Elizabeth said. “What’s your favorite, cooking or baking?”
“Baking.”
“Me, too. I like making bread. It’s simple, but I like the smell and kneading it.”
A few minutes later when Lavina looked over the two were deep in discussion, the sewing in front of Carrie was forgotten and the sullen look she usually wore was gone.
Lavina glanced around the room. Women were chattering as they sewed, comparing their quilt blocks and projects.
“What is it?” Kate asked quietly.
“The class used to be quiet. Now look at it.”
“I know.” She smiled as she looked out at the class. “They’re learning to connect with other women. Making friends again. One of the first things an abusive husband or boyfriend does is separate his wife or girlfriend from her friends and family. That way they don’t know what he’s doing and she has no support system she can depend on when she realizes she’s trapped in a web of abuse.”
She turned to Lavina. “Some of the women will be here for a short time before they find jobs and apartments they can rent. Others will stay longer.” She sighed. “And others will return to their husbands and boyfriends as they find they can’t break the cycle.”
Lavina didn’t like thinking about that.
The women began putting their projects in their storage boxes and placing them on the shelves. They said goodbye and filtered out of the room
Ellie and her mother were the last to leave. Ellie put her project box on the lowest shelf.
“Mommy, can we go home now?” she heard Ellie ask her mother.
“No, sweetheart. I’m sorry.”
Ellie puckered up. “When, Mommy?”
Her mother looked ready to cry herself.
Lavina turned to Kate and saw her blinking hard.
“It’s all so rough on the kids,” she said in a low voice. “She left her home that night with the pajamas on her back and her teddy bear in her arms. And that was it.”
“Pearl said she’s going to put the bed Mary Elizabeth and I brought today in their room. Maybe you can tell her that.”
“Good idea, thanks.” She got up from her chair, walked over to Ellie and her mother and crouched down. “Sweetheart, this is home,” she said, gesturing at the child’s mother.
Ellie shook her head. “That’s Mommy.”
“Home is wherever you and Mommy are.”
Lavina watched the little girl tilt her head to one side and consider that.
Kate stood and said something Lavina couldn’t hear to Ellie’s mother. Whatever it was made the woman smile. The three of them left the room together.
Lavina tucked her quilt into her tote and stood. Mary Elizabeth was still chatting with Carrie. She didn’t remember ever seeing Carrie talk so much with anyone. She couldn’t wait to find out what the two of them had been talking about.
“That was fun!” Mary Elizabeth said the minute they were in the wagon heading home. “Are we going to go to David’s house later this afternoon?”
It took her a moment to answer. She’d been so sure Mary Elizabeth was going to say something about the class or Carrie. “Ya, why?”
Mary Elizabeth turned to her, her expression serious. “I’m going to ask David to take me to talk to Samuel.”
***
David pulled into his driveway and found himself smiling when he saw Lavina and Mary Elizabeth getting out of the family buggy.
He turned off the ignition and hopped out of his truck. “Gut-n-owed. Can I offer to carry anything inside?”
“Of course,” Mary Elizabeth said. “We brought food.”
He looked in the back of the buggy, choosing the smallest, lightest dish. “Got this one. You getting the rest?” he asked Lavina with a grin. He handed it to her and took the two heavy casserole dishes from the buggy.
“Smells gut,” he said, taking a big sniff. “Mamm would have been happy with a visit. You didn’t have to bring food, too.”
“We’ll take it back then,” Mary Elizabeth said.
“Always joking.” He held the dishes out of her reach. “It’s really helping Mamm to have the meals. And earlier today two of her friends helped by doing some housework.” He paused. “She had more friends before Daed’s grouchiness drove them away.” Then he shook his head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t talk about him that way.”
“Well, he did drive a lot of people away, including his own sohns.”
“Mary Elizabeth!”
She lifted her chin and met her schweschder’s shocked gaze. “Well, it’s true and we all know it.”
“It’s not our place to judge.”
Mary Elizabeth sniffed but she stayed silent as they climbed the porch steps and went into the house.
David was glad he’d asked Lavina and Mary Elizabeth to visit. His mudder greeted them warmly and thanked them for the food. She pulled the foil from both casseroles and told him to choose which one he wanted for supper.
“Maybe we should let Daed decide.”
“He’s taking a nap and since he wasn’t feeling so gut this afternoon I’m not going to wake him.”
“Then chicken and dumplings.”
“What, you don’t like my baked pork chops?” Mary Elizabeth asked, sulking.
“The baked pork chops, then,” he said quickly.
She laughed. “I made the chicken and dumplings.”
He looked at Lavina. Did you make the pork chops?”
She shook her head. “Our mudder did. I baked the cookies.”
Her cookies—whatever the variety—were the best. But he wasn’t going to say so in front of Mary Elizabeth and have her sulking again—joking or otherwise.
So he did what any man would do. He made his escape.
“Chores,” he said, starting for the back door. “Back soon as I finish.”
Nellie was happy to see him even though he’d left the kitchen without remembering her apple. “I’ll make it up to you,’” he promised. “I’ll bring it out after supper.”
He lingered over the chores. After all, he’d asked Lavina and Mary Elizabeth to stop by and visit his mudder. From what he could tell, she hadn’t been out of the house except for going with his dat to chemotherapy and doctor appointments for months.
So he fed Nellie and talked to her and puttered around giving the three women time to talk about whatever it was women talked about.
It came to him suddenly that he missed talking to Bill and to his bruders Sam and John. He took a moment to go to the phone shanty and call Bill, and make plans to have lunch on Saturday. Then he started to call his bruders, but decided he’d drive by their place after work tomorrow instead.
He sniffed the air when he walked out of the phone shanty. He smelled snow in the air. An early winter had been predicted. Winters in this part of the country could be long and bitter. He supposed he should be making sure the windows and doors on the farmhouse were sealed tight. That there was enough firewood for heat. He knew the routine from living at the house where he’d been born, but it occurred to him that he could ask his dat what needed to be done and they might have an actual conversation.
And then again they might not, considering the way they got along. But better to find out now what he needed to do to keep them warm and safe this winter. His dat was in no shape to be working on the home in his condition, getting overtired, cold, or wet.
When he returned to the house he was surprised to see Mary Elizabeth sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea by herself.
“Your mudder’s upstairs checking on your dat,” she said when she saw him look around. “Lavina went home because there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
He washed his hands at the sink and sat down. “What’s that?”
“I want you to take me to see Sam.”
If she’d set out to stun him she couldn’t have done a better job. “Why do you want to do that? If you’re hoping he’ll come back like I did, I have to disappoint you. The last time I spoke to him he refused.”
“I want to ask him.”
Feeling frustrated, David ran a hand through his hair. “Li
ke it worked so well that I came home,” he muttered.
“But you don’t know it’ll be the same for Sam.”
“Daed treated all of us the same,” he told her bluntly. “Equally badly.”
“But maybe since he’s been so sick he’ll be different.” She looked at him earnestly. The three sisters looked so much alike it was hard to stare into her blue eyes.
“He wasn’t as of last night.” He stood so suddenly the chair he’d been sitting on scraped the floor like a fingernail against a chalkboard. “He was retching in the bathroom and I was trying to help him and he ordered me out. He doesn’t want me here, Mary Elizabeth! Is that what you want for Sam?”
Tears welled up in her eyes. “Nee! I just want Sam to come home! I want to see him again. Don’t you realize I love him?”
With a sigh he sat again. “I love Lavina, but it didn’t change anything when I came back.”
“We’re all different. You don’t know it won’t be different for Sam and me.”
“He still won’t have anything to offer you any more than I have anything to offer Lavina.”
“Ya, their daed has to die for them to have the farm, and so far I haven’t cooperated, have I?” his father rasped as he walked slowly into the kitchen.
“Amos! Don’t talk like that!” Waneta cried as she followed him into the room.
Aghast, Mary Elizabeth stared at him. Her mouth worked as if she struggled for words. “What a horrible thing to say!” she cried and then she raced from the room.
“It’s the truth,” Amos pulled out a chair, sat, and glared around him. “What does a man have to do to get supper around here?”
“Be nice for once!” Waneta burst out. “David, go after her!”
He grabbed his jacket. “My pleasure. I won’t be back for supper.”
“Now look what you’ve done,” he heard his mother saying as he left the room.
It was the first time he could remember her ever speaking up to him.
“Mary Elizabeth! Wait up!”
She stopped and turned. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I had no idea your dat could be so horrible. I mean, Lavina’s told me some things over the years but never anything like what he just said.”
David shrugged. “Well, I think he might have set a new record.” He saw her shiver. “Get in the truck. I’ll give you a ride home.”
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