Cart Before The Horse

by Bernadette Marie

  Gabe finished the liquor order in record time and now sat in his office going over the chef’s food order for the next two days. He almost hated to admit it. Since Chandra had been managing, the staff and the restaurant sales had gone up.

  He looked at his calendar and realized Christmas was only another week away. Time was sure slipping by faster. There were only a few days to come up with the most perfect gift his new wife could possibly want. Yet she hadn’t even dropped a hint of any kind. He’d call Tracy and see if she could help

  him out.

  His grandmother had called and asked them to be in Boston for her birthday in February. He’d promised her they’d be there, but Holly would be right in her sixth month, and that was pushing it as far as traveling went. But things had been progressing well for her. He couldn’t see anything going wrong.

  “Hey.” Chandra stood in his doorway. “There’s a table out here that wants to see the owner.”

  “Be right out.” He stacked his paperwork and walked out into the restaurant.

  Chandra gave him a nod toward the back booths, and when he turned the corner, he shook his head and felt the tension slide away. “When someone sends for the owner, my nerves rattle a bit.”

  Holly smiled up at him. “I haven’t had lunch with you since we got back from our honeymoon. I bribed the manager into giving me this booth and letting you be free for an hour.”

  “I knew I liked that perky girl a lot.”

  She blushed. “I’m sorry I ever said that.”

  Gabe laughed and sat down next to his beautiful, glow-

  ing wife.

  The chef prepared them lunches from the specials menu. Gabe worried that Holly hadn’t eaten all of her food.

  “I may only be starting to get big, but I can’t consume that much. The baby is already pressing into my stomach. Besides, I eat often. I’ll take this home and have it later.”

  He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “I still love knowing when you say home, that it’s ours.”

  Holly rested her head on his shoulder and let out a sigh. “I

  love that too.”

  Gabe picked up a steak fry and popped it into his mouth. “Grandma called today. She wants us to go out to Boston in February for her birthday.” He saw worry cloud her eyes. “You should be fine. You’ll only be getting into your sixth month. But if you don’t think…”

  She sat up in the booth and shook her head. “I promised her I’d be there. I’ll be there.”

  “She’s going to love you.”

  Leaning back, she rubbed her stomach. “I hope so. I won’t be looking my best by then.”

  Gabe reached his hand to her cheek and looked deep into her eyes until he was sure he’d connected. “Oh, baby, I think you are.” He kissed her gently on the lips and rested his hand, with hers, on her firm belly.

  Holly sat behind her desk and took a moment from her designing just to rest. So much had happened in a few short months, and as her body adjusted, she had to make sure to accommodate its needs into her schedule. That meant less standing at the drafting table. No more coffee runs. And of course when she needed to rest, she needed to rest. And for that reason alone she was glad December and Christmas were over.

  Aside from the holiday parties, shopping, and extra hours both she and Gabe had put in, they’d also closed on the house. It was official. They were homeowners.

  She’d moved past the fit she’d had over the memento of Gabe and Jasmine’s first Christmas, and every day she’d stood in front of their beautiful Christmas tree and admired all the ornaments their mothers had collected. She was afraid to see the electricity bill after Gabe had confessed how many strings of lights he’d put on it. Every night she’d unplugged the cord from the wall, afraid that the entire house would burn down. He had laughed, but considering she’d lost everything to a fire, she thought it was very reasonable.

  Finally, the tree and all the decorations they’d accumulated had been put away into storage, and the house was beginning to look like a normal home with a lawn full of white snow to make it look like a picture on a card.

  Their families had given them gifts for their house and, of course, both of their mothers went overboard buying gifts for the baby, who wasn’t even there yet. Her mother had bought them a crib, and Gladys had bought them gift certificates for Babies“R”Us so that they could stock up, even before the baby shower. Holly couldn’t even imagine how loaded down they’d be then.

  Chandra had been at the house on her days off, painting the nursery as her Christmas gift to them. Holly wondered if she’d done that on her own, or if Gabe had convinced her it would be a good idea. After all, he’d convinced her once to let them TP her house.

  Holly laughed at that. She sure had changed since she’d met Gabe. Thank goodness.

  Now, with her drafting table calling her back, she gave thought to having to pack for their trip to Boston at the end of the week. There was some hesitation in her thoughts, and it irritated her that she was so worried about it. But everyone in Boston who knew Gabe, had known Jasmine.

  She pushed up from her chair and steadied herself on her desk. Would they like her? Would they compare her to his first wife? Would they approve?

  It was dumb to worry about it, but she couldn’t help it.

  Would Gabe be different in Boston too?

  Armed with pictures of the wedding, the house, and the ultrasounds, Holly waddled off the plane holding tightly to Gabe’s arm.

  He looked her over as they walked out of the tunnel and into the seating area at the gate. “Are you doing all right? You’re very pale.”

  “I’m fine.” She swallowed back the nausea the flight had caused and pressed her knees together to keep her bladder from exploding. “The baby either really likes turbulence or not

  at all.”

  “Let’s sit.”

  “Let’s not. Your mother is waiting by baggage claim to hug you and rub my tummy. Maybe she can convince him to settle down,” she said as the baby pushed up into her ribs and she massaged her side.

  Gabe took the bag she was carrying and then took her hand. “I think you become more beautiful everyday.”

  Holly snorted a laugh. “Did you not notice my nose is getting bigger?”

  “So are your boobs, but I didn’t point it out, even though you accused me of only liking perkies once.”

  Holly shook her head and finally smiled. “Life with you will never grow dull, will it?”

  “Not if I can help it.”

  Just as Holly had assumed, Gladys and Paul were standing at the luggage carousel, waiting for them with open arms. Gladys ran past her son to hug her and coo over her protruding belly, and Holly laughed aloud.

  “Look how much you’ve grown.” Gladys rubbed her stomach as others would rub a statue of Buddha. “I’ve already booked a flight to come out the week you’re due. If you go earlier, I’ll change it. If you’re later, I’ll make another trip out.”

  “I know he can’t wait to meet you all.”

  “She,” Gabe interrupted. “C’mon. I want to get Holly home and have her lie down.”

  Once Holly was settled in and napping in his old bedroom, Gabe shut the door and met his mother in the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

  “Is she resting?” His mom set a mug on the table for Gabe and filled it, then sat down across from him.

  “Yes. I wasn’t sure about her traveling this late in the pregnancy, but she’s just started her sixth month and assured me I shouldn’t worry. Besides, she promised Grandma.”

  “Grandma’s awfully proud of you. She’d given up on you.”

  “So had I,” he said into his mug as he took a sip. “I’m really happy now.”

  “I know. I knew the minute you called and told me about her. I knew the time would come.” Gladys lifted her mug to her lips. “Are you okay being back here? Especially with

  Holly?”

  He considered for a moment then clasped his hands together and rested the
m on the table. “I’ll admit I wasn’t sure. We had a rough patch at Christmas over an ornament.”

  “What? She got upset? You didn’t tell me that.”

  He hadn’t intended to tell her, but that wasn’t how their family worked. Gladys and Phil Maguire knew everything about their children. Everything. “You sent the First Christmas ornament with Jasmine and me.”

  Gladys put her coffee mug down and covered her mouth. “I am so sorry.”

  “It was an accident I know. But she’s so convinced that she’s second in my life. She’s been told forever that she did things backward. So not only did she get pregnant first, move in with me quite on accident after the fire, then marry me, now she feels like she’s taken the place of the woman who should be here.” Just repeating the story made his chest hurt. The worry in Holly’s eyes would always burn through him, even in thought. “But that woman is her.”

  “Does she know things with you and Jasmine weren’t always perfect?”

  “No. She knows I was married and I loved her. Mom, nothing is ever perfect, but she thinks they should be.”

  He stood and drank down his coffee. Then he pushed his chair back under the table and rinsed his coffee mug in the sink.

  “She’s already training you well.” His mother laughed into

  her cup.

  Gabe grinned. Yes, she was training him well enough. Aside from hanging up his coat in the closet, putting his shoes away, and rinsing his dishes, she’d taught him a great many things. Patience was one. Letting go of the past—that was another, and he’d struggled for that one a long time.

  “I’m going to wake her up. I need to introduce my beautiful bride to my grandmother.” He took a deep breath and let it out slow. “Then I’m going to the cemetery.”

  He saw the worry brewing in his mother’s eyes. He squeezed her hand. “I said goodbye to Jasmine a long time ago, Mom. Now I just need Holly to say goodbye to her too.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Holly sat and looked out over the water as Gabe drove his father’s old Jeep to his grandmother’s house.

  Gabe reached for her hand and interlaced their fingers. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

  “It is. Water amazes me. I think you forget, being landlocked, that this is the view for so many people.”

  “And we don’t appreciate it. But we don’t have your mountains.”

  Holly turned to look at him. “Are you happy in Colorado? I never did consider that maybe you’d be happier here.”

  “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere without you. That’s where I want to be.”

  Holly gave a nod and looked back out the window. She’d been battling her nerves since they’d taken off for Boston. Would he want his old life back once he returned home? So far, in his parents’ house, he was the same Gabe. He hadn’t changed. But would they encounter people who knew him when, and he’d want to go back to that? It was unsettling.

  The baby gave her a sharp jab to the rib, and she flinched.

  “Are you okay?” Gabe looked at her again then back at

  the road.

  “Baby must be making room.” She adjusted in her seat, but nothing was comfortable. “But can you pull over in that lot?” She tried to keep her voice light.

  “Okay.” Gabe pulled over into the parking lot and put the Jeep in park. “What’s wrong? Do you need a doctor?”

  “No.” She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. The baby was pushing against her so hard, turning his whole little body, that she could see her stomach move.

  “Wow. She’s really moving.” He followed the baby with his hands. “Hold on.” He climbed out of the Jeep and ran to the other side. He opened the door and Holly turned her body to face him. He took both hands and set them on her stomach.

  The caress of his hands on her settled the baby, and Holly relaxed. “I guess he was stretching.”

  Gabe gazed up at her and his smile was magnificent. “That was awesome.”

  “Maybe from your vantage point.”

  His face lost the smile and worry shielded his eyes. “Was it painful?”

  Holly reached out and touched his face. “No. Uncomfortable, but it wasn’t painful. Besides, knowing that this little guy is almost done spending time in here”—she placed her hand on her now still stomach—“I’m feeling a little sad.”

  “You might change your mind in the next two months.”

  “I’m just happy to have both of you.” The words had come out without thought. But there wasn’t a truer statement. When she saw the glimmer return to his eyes, she knew that when fate had stepped in and put them together, it knew what it was doing. She loved this man who, thinking only of her comfort, would pull off the road at a moment’s notice to stand before her in a drugstore parking lot and caress her stomach. Who would have thought that stupid horse and cart were supposed to be backward?

  The afternoon with his new wife and his grandmother had been enlightening, he decided. Holly had heard every story of the mischievous Gabriel Maguire. The sweet stories of the mama’s boy she would hold dear to her heart. He knew this by the way she’d cocked her head and batted those dark lashes at him. But the tales of the ornery little brother—she could use to

  blackmail him when she saw fit, and this was given away by the puckered lips and the slow, thoughtful nods. Leave it to Grandma Gertie to sell him out.

  But what he was most thankful for was that not once during the two hours they sat at her kitchen table did his grandmother call Holly Jasmine or make reference to her at all. He had feared it, even lost sleep over it, and why—he wasn’t even sure now.

  Gabe was still chuckling as he drove away from his grandmother’s home with his beautiful bride beside him rubbing her enlarged stomach.

  “How is your memory?” He turned the corner and gave her a glance.

  Holly grinned. “Are you worried that I’ll remember everything I just learned?”

  “I forgot who I was talking to. You have a photographic memory, don’t you?”

  Holly sat back in her seat. “I will assure you I will remember every story that wonderful woman told me.”

  “That’s what I was afraid of.”

  Gabe headed back toward his parents’ house. His sister Melissa had been the first to invite them to dinner at her place in about an hour, but the entire family would already be there. He figured Holly would appreciate a rest.

  They were approaching the spot where Jasmine’s accident had occurred, and he clenched his fingers on the steering wheel.

  As he turned the corner he saw the newly erected sign. His breath caught, and he knew Holly would have heard him gasp. He held tighter to the steering wheel as he began his acceleration onto the highway. Sweat began to bead on his forehead, and his heart raced.

  When Holly reached across the Jeep and touched his arm, he knew she’d seen it too. In Memory of Jasmine Maguire. As if he’d needed a damn sign pointing to the very spot where Jasmine’s life had ended.

  He sucked in a deep breath and then another. His grip on the steering wheel loosened, but Holly’s hand remained on his arm. Gentle but steady. He didn’t have to look at her to know the burden she carried. His burden.

  There he’d thought he’d been her strength all these months. He’d been there to settle her nerves over the baby. He’d told her he loved her when she wasn’t sure she deserved anyone’s love. Every moment of every day, he worried about her. What did he think, she was just along for the ride of their lifetime? No, she’d given in to loving him. She did love him. So why did it surprise him so much that she so calmly sat beside him, obviously aware of what had just transpired, and she watched him, touched him, and comforted him?

  As soon as he pulled into the driveway, he found himself wrapped in her arms. The hard curves of her body pressed against him as he placed kisses on her temples.

  She sniffled. “I’m sorry, Gabe. This has to be hard to come back here.”

  When he could, he pulled back and took her hands in his. �
��I didn’t know that was there. I’ve never seen it before. I’m sorry. You didn’t need that.”

  He didn’t need it.

  “It’s part of you. I’m learning to accept that.”

  All he could do was nod. The hurt around every corner was why he’d left Boston. How could he have known it would be so fresh in his mind? And even worse, he was embarrassed by his reaction to the sign and the anger that he felt over it. Only he would ever know that he loved Holly more than he’d loved Jasmine. How would he ever make that clear to her when he broke down like the mama’s boy his grandmother assured her he was?

  But in a day they’d go back home. To their home. In a few months, their baby would join them. And someday, he’d forget the hurt and the void that Jasmine caused, even if it wasn’t her fault.

  Holly was learning that noise was pleasant. As an only child, she hadn’t learned to appreciate it. It was a great distraction when her mind would wander to the name on the sign they’d seen. Jasmine Maguire. It stung to now share the same name as the woman who’d come before her, no matter how much she loved the man.

  Gabe had been doing his best to involve her and keep his own feelings hidden. But she knew the events that afternoon had done some damage to his nearly mended heart. She did her best to blend into the family life, but she was always watching over Gabe.

  When one of Melissa’s daughters walked away from a toy, Holly squatted down to pick it up.

  “Leave it,” Melissa said, giving the toy a tap with her foot and sending it closer to the wall. “If you pick it up now, it’ll end up back on the floor in another minute.”