by Patrice Lyle
Aunt Alfa crumpled up the popcorn bag and pitched it into the trashcan. "What large items? You takin' the surfboard as evidence?"
Hardly. I knew exactly what Tattoo Tex was referring to. The 600-count down comforter.
I knew he wouldn't like my reasoning, but I had to be honest. "I need to change my Outfrizz juju."
His eyebrows drew up. "Outfrizz juju?"
Aunt Alfa laughed. "Pipe translation. She thinks if she changes her ride then she'll change her luck on finding some Outfrizz."
"Exactly." My auntie knew me well.
Tattoo Tex wasn't going down without a fight, however. "What if you find a bunch of stuff for your wellness center? Like that new leopard-print beanbag chair you want?"
"Beanbag chair?" When had I said that?
Tex scrunched his face. "Zippos called me about some beanbag chair back order?"
"The beanbag's for me, Tex. Ida said she does her most creative SST work on a beanbag."
We definitely weren't taking the Escalade now.
"Pinky doesn't have room for a beanbag, and what if we find Aunt Alfa the perfect one?" Tattoo Tex used the sales voice that I'd heard him use at tattoo shows.
As tempting as his offer and subsequent persistence was, a hair crisis came before pleasure.
"Next time, Tex. I promise. Now where's the GPS?" I rooted through my Sparkle O bag without any luck. "Do you remember where we put it? I know we brought it to our room." Aunt Alfa had forgotten her cashew milk so she thought we might use the GPS to locate a health food store on the island.
Aunt Alfa pursed her lips and then tapped her forehead. "Try the hamper in the bathroom."
"I reckon that's an odd place to store a GPS."
I laughed and thought it was par for the course. "Aunt Alfa once put her glue gun in the refrigerator, Tex."
"Only 'cause it got overheated after I stuck all that bling to my essential oil bottles."
I laughed again and strode into the bathroom. Familiar sheer red fabric poked out of the hamper. That darn SST negligee. I flipped up the lid and pilfered through Aunt Alfa's dainties and garments. Finally my fingers hit hard plastic, and I retrieved my GPS.
I strolled back inside the room. "You ready, Tex?"
"Sshh!" Aunt Alfa pointed at her phone, which was stuck to her ear. Then she gestured toward the door and mouthed, he's in the hallway. To her caller she said, "Glad you're back, Snookums. You ready for a wild ride?"
I saw why Tattoo Tex had escaped.
This has to stop. Once we got home, I would make sure it did.
I walked out of our room and found Tex standing across from the door, with one foot against the wall. And a tense look on his face.
"That's some crazy stuff with your aunt thar."
"Don't get me started."
He took my hand, and we strolled outside. The brilliant sunshine made the colors of Annabelle Island pop. The turquoise sky and emerald trees were gorgeous. The sea breeze drifted past my nose and ruffled my hair. As we passed by a minivan, I glanced at my image and stifled a laugh.
I look ridiculous in a cowboy hat. I need Outfrizz!
We walked past the Escalade, and Tattoo Tex made one more attempt.
"You sure you want to take Pinky, Doc?"
I nodded but did not make eye contact. If his eyes were as intense as they were before, I might cave.
Then I'd be in this darn hat until I got home.
I beeped Pinky open as we approached. Her hot pink color made me happy, even on the dreariest coastal day. Her bling blades sparkled in the sunlight as did her rims. My soul did a happy dance.
All the hours of peddling Sparkle O products had been worth it.
We slipped inside, and I fired up Pinky. I was careful not to appear too happy given Tex's Escalade disappointment. I plugged in my Sparkle O GPS, punched in the address, and put Pinky in gear once the bubbly girl's voice filled the car.
"Hi, Dr. Piper. Go out straight and then turn right. Sadly there aren't any Starbucks or health food stores in your area."
I loved custom options.
Tattoo Tex sat in stoic silence as we took the main road that circled the island. Waves lapped onto beige sand, and sun-seekers dotted the beaches. Annabelle Island looked like a nice place to live.
If you didn't count a murderer at large.
"Okay, Dr. Piper, take your next right onto Seashore Way."
I did as instructed and followed the GPS's directions until I pulled to a stop in front of Shoot the Curl Surf Shoppe. I put Pinky in park and cut the engine. This section of Seashore Way was home to a few mom and pop stores, a couple of duplexes, and the surf shop.
Employer of the naked surfer.
I was opening the driver's door when it hit me that I had no idea how to determine which surfer had starred in the video, and I certainly wasn't going to ask for a jewels line up.
Tattoo Tex shut his door and joined me on the sidewalk. "How are we going to tell which surfer's which?"
Great PI minds think alike.
"Let's wing it." I tugged him along and formulated a plan. I'd simply ask which surfer had been advertising in front of the hotel yesterday. That should do it.
We passed under a couple of brightly colored kites as we entered the shop. I shut the door behind me and scoped out the place. Racks of swimming trunks, bikinis, and wet suits filled the right side of the store. Surfing paraphernalia filled the left side.
"Welcome to the Shoot the Curl Surf Shoppe," a lively guy's voice said. "How can I help you?"
I was suddenly grateful for SST having distracted Aunt Alfa. Her plan would have been to request a full frontal viewing of every male employee. And maybe a reenactment too.
"Hey, didn't I see you by the hair salon yesterday?"
I turned to see the same guy who'd accompanied Dr. Sylvia. What a stroke of luck! Now I just needed to connect him to the diversion.
"Hi." I put on my best smile. "Of course I remember you."
We approached the back of the store where he was standing behind the counter. He grinned at us as though we were just a couple of tourists. Then I wondered if he'd heard about the murder. A small island community like this had to have a rumor mill.
He looked from Tex to me. "You two looking to do a little surfing?"
I glanced at Tattoo Tex. Should I just be straight with the kid? Tattoo Tex nodded, as if he'd read my mind.
"No, but we saw a surfer doing some creative advertising yesterday. In front of the Annabelle Island Inn?" I stopped, allowing the accusation to sink in. "Did the owner of this store approve that little publicity stunt?"
"Come to think of it, I'm surprised there wasn't an arrest thar."
I hadn't thought of that. "You're right, Tex. Public indecency is more than a misdemeanor, I think."
Tex stared at the surfer. "Especially in light of the murder."
"And the video footage of the event." The surfer didn't know that Aunt Alfa had only zeroed in on the jewels.
The surfer gulped, and his gaze ping-ponged between Tex and me. "You're not going to tell anyone are you?"
I stepped forward and rested my hands on the counter. "That depends entirely on you."
He lifted his palms. "I don't have any money to pay you. All I have is what that doctor gave me, and I already spent it."
Bingo. Dr. Sylvia had arranged the diversion. "How did she contact you?"
"I reckon you two know each other?"
He shook his head. "We just met on Greg's List."
I pulled my face back. "There's a classified listing for naked performances?"
"There are ads for everything. But the doctor posted an ad for a naked surfer, so I called her."
"You still have the ad on your phone thar?"
The surfer reached for his cell phone and tapped the screen. "What's your number? I can shoot it to you."
Tattoo Tex rattled off his number and waited for the text. When the telltale ding sounded, a thought hit me. Sylvia had gone to the trouble to set
up a premeditated diversion. Had she also committed premeditated murder?
I swung my gaze toward the guy. "Did the doctor say why she wanted you to create a diversion?"
"All she said was something about getting a contact for some school paperwork." He lifted his hands in mock surrender. "That's all I know."
Xavier must be right about her medical education.
"Have you told the police yet?" I was sure Detective Franks would want to know about this incident. I recalled my PI flash cards saying a diversion could be considered an accessory. Not a scarf or a handbag kind of accessory, however.
An accessory to murder.
"I was too freaked out to call the police. What if they think I'm an accomplice?" He gulped again. "I only participated in the diversion."
"You need to contact Detective Franks," I said. "He's heading up the investigation."
"Best to be honest, I reckon. Better for you to tell them first."
"All right." He bit his lip. "Geez, I hope I don't get in trouble. I just needed the money, you know. I want to get a place of my own."
His quest for independence reminded me of Aunt Alfa.
I wished him well, and Tex slipped his arm around me as we headed for the door. Outfrizz! I need to ask him about another place to buy hair products. I stopped and spun around, my heart pounding at the near miss.
"Do you know of a place on the island that sells hair products?"
"There's Hair Salon by The Sea." He picked up a bottle of water and unscrewed the cap. "Oh, never mind. That's where you saw me and the doctor."
"They don't sell what I need there." I'd never go back to that snotty salon anyway. Even if they got in three cases of Outfrizz and put it on a huge sale.
Yeah, right.
The surfer took a sip of water. "The local barber shop sells women's stuff too."
That might work. "Where's it located?"
"Next to Fresh Flippers."
I turned to Tex. "Feel like some sushi?"
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The Punjab Plight
My Sparkle O GPS commandeered us to the barbershop via Fresh Flippers. The sushi restaurant was painted key lime green with white trim. It was cute except for the fist-sized hole someone had punched near the front door.
"Gives new meaning to the term hole in the wall thar."
I laughed and was glad Tattoo Tex had gotten over me dissing his rental Escalade. I couldn't wait for our next 600-count-comforter interlude, but my hair crisis took precedence. I parked Pinky along the curb, leaned back in the driver's seat, and closed my eyes.
"You okay, Doc?"
I nodded. "Just praying for an abundance of Outfrizz."
He mumbled for a few seconds. "Done. Go forth and find."
Aw. What a guy. I pecked him on the cheek. "You coming with?"
"Naw, I'll stay and protect Pinky."
I grinned. "She loves having a big tough Texan body guard."
"Not as much as I love protecting a beautiful sparkly woman wearing a cowgirl hat." He reached for my hands and dotted kisses along my knuckles.
I was the luckiest girl in the world! I had a hot boyfriend, a fun-loving auntie, enough dark chocolate to deal with said auntie, an adorable piglet, and a blinged-out sweet ride. As soon as I got my hands on a bottle of Outfrizz, I'd be the luckiest girl in the galaxy.
I hopped out and headed to the barbershop. Determination flooded through me with each passing step. I will find Outfrizz. I will find Outfrizz. I truly believed that thoughts made things, so I urged my patients to think only positive happy thoughts.
Out of habit, I did the same.
The barbershop was adjacent to Fresh Flippers so the scent of seafood drifted past my nostrils. I wasn't sure I'd frequent a hair place that smelled like fish—unless the stylist made my hair look like golden silk, of course—but I'd make an exception today. My heart brimmed with hope as I tugged open the door.
But it wouldn't budge. Hmm. I tried the door again, but no luck. I drew my palm to my forehead and peered inside. The hair products lined a shelf near the door. Not a bottle of Outfrizz in sight. Oh, for the love of double dark chocolate chip cookies.
Was I destined to wear a cowboy hat for the remainder of my time on Annabelle Island?
I stepped away and scanned the street. No other stores looked promising. That figured. Fresh Flippers' door swung open, and out stepped Cassidy clad in short white stretchy shorts and a yellow tank top. She carried a plastic takeout bag.
Looked like the Sushi Queen got her fix.
"Hi. You're Piper, right?" Cassidy's politeness sounded forced, like she really wanted to scarf sushi but felt compelled to acknowledge me.
I totally understood. I hated when I was ready to chow down a bag of dark chocolate almond clusters and had to make gracious conversation.
"Yes," I said. "Cassidy, right?"
She nodded. "You coming for sushi?"
"Nope." I crooked my neck toward the barbershop. "I came to see if this place carries my favorite anti-frizz product in the stratosphere, but they're closed." My eyes stung, and I blinked away my no-Outfrizz-for-me-pity-party.
How embarrassing.
"What hair product do you use?"
"Outfrizz. I've used it for over a decade. Nothing works as good." At least not for me.
She eyed the frizzy strands poking out from my cowgirl hat. "I was an Outfrizz freak until I found Sleek. The stuff's incredible. It's like having all new hair."
Hmm. Her honey-tinted hair was shinier than patent leather pumps. No tiny wiry hairs sprouted from the top of her head or framed her face. Maybe I should try Sleek? I had nothing to lose. Plus a tip from a model couldn't be ignored.
"Thanks for the info," I said. "I'll look it up online."
"Check out my website. There's a link to my blog where you can see before and after pictures with a Sleek application." She slipped the handle of her food bag over one wrist while she retrieved a small black tube from her purse. She handed it to me. "Here's a sample of Sleek. You'll love it."
Wow. That was nice. "Thanks." I slipped the sample in my purse.
Cassidy glanced at her watch. "I should run, but do check out my site. I'm the new spokesperson for Sleek." Cassidy walked away and glanced at me over her shoulder. "But I really love the product. I'm not one of those Hollywood Stars endorsing dime-store makeup to make a fast buck."
Yeah right. I'm sticking with my tried and true anti-frizz protection.
I spun and headed toward Pinky. Outfrizz was out of reach, but my fabulous boyfriend wasn't. He loved the cowgirl hat so what did it matter? Plus I could always try the Sleek. I tugged open Pinky's door and hopped in. Tattoo Tex looked at my empty hands and then turned his gaze out the window.
"It's okay." I cranked Pinky's engine on and pulled out in traffic. "I'm drawing on my inner peace to deal with my Outfrizz shortage." Along with a boatload of dark chocolate.
"I'm happy to help distract you in any way I can." His husky voice sent a thrill down to my hot pink bejeweled toenails.
I suddenly longed for the Escalade. What was I thinking?
I shot him what I hoped was a sexy smile, though I wasn't sure how successful I'd be in a cowboy hat with a head of Frizz-Out-caked hair. But it seemed to work. He swallowed and eyed me up and down.
"What do you say we go back to the hotel, Doc? Question Dr. Sylvia and then take the Escalade to the police department to show the detective the Greg's List ad?"
"Works for me. Why don't you text Aunt Alfa and ask her to get Dr. Sylvia's room number?"
While he worked on that, my mind slipped to my trusty PI flash cards. Ensure you review all suspects particularly when case solution is formidable.
"Let's run through the suspicious peeps on the Killer Carat Cream case." I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel. "First up is Winnie, aka Wartnie. The wart ridicule could be motive for murder, don't you think?"
Tattoo Tex nodded. "Let's not count out Dinah for that secret face-lift. Or D
r. Sylvia. She had real motive thar to bump off Dr. J for turning her in for a bogus medical degree."
I suppressed a smile. Some people thought naturopathic medicine was bogus. But I refused to let the naysayers stop me from forging ahead in natural health. I reached for my water bottle in the cup holder and took a sip. Normally I hated those squeezy tops but they were great for driving.
"Bridget's secret weight loss surgery's a motive too. Plus her above-it-all attitude makes her seem ruthless." Nothing would please me more than seeing that tart go down for murder. But only if she did it.
Tattoo Tex shifted in his seat. "You don't like Bridget do you?"
"What?" Heat rose up my neck and onto my cheeks. "I have nothing against her."
A smile lit his face. "It's kind of hot having you jealous."
"I'm not jealous!" My voice squeaked like a mouse, countering my words. "I mean, I'm not like totally psychotically jealous. I don't plan to suggest she try some European protein bars for weight loss that really cause weight gain like in Mean Girls."
Not yet anyway.
He grinned. I was glad he found my green-eyed disdain for Bridget hot, but I was a bit mortified. Time to change the subject.
"What about Heath? He told someone he wanted that bloody woman out of his life." I glanced at Tex and then back at the road. Holy cocoa beans! His eyes shone with 600-count comforter-lust.
I cranked up the AC.
"Heath's an odd one thar with the way he acted with Aunt Alfa and his boss's ma. I reckon getting fired made him mad."
"Absolutely." I hit my blinker, turned into the Annabelle Island Inn, and screeched to a halt. The sooner we talked to Dr. Sylvia the sooner we could get back on the road.
In the Escalade.
* * *
Minutes later, we hopped out of a gloriously Bridget-free elevator and strode through the corridor. My bling dung kickers sparkled beneath the overhead light, sending glimmers of light along the wall.
The boots were starting to grow on me, but they still weren't as cute as sequined heels.
We passed several gorgeous sunset and surf photos. Aside from a murder having been committed here, the Annabelle Island Inn was nice. A place I could imagine visiting again. When we arrived at our destination, I rapped on Dr. Sylvia's door. I couldn't wait to get the interrogation under way.