She seemed quiet on the way up to the cabin, commenting on the scenery, making small talk about snowmobiling and dog sledding while texting on her phone. It was all very light and civilized, but he knew her calm demeanor was only skin deep. He could feel it. She’d said she was upset about his leaving, but that was the way it had to be. This thing with Piper had him feeling both the best and the very worst since Timmy. Since he’d taken the mutt in, fell in love with the little fleabag, and then had to watch him die in front of him.
There was a reason why images like that were etched on his mind: visceral, agonizing. It was nature’s way of making him avoid damage and pain again. The sickness at the base of his gut he’d felt when his father stopped by, took a cold look at him, and went to find his gear before leaving. He’d left, just like that, in a blink of a child’s eye. Feelings like that came back now and again, in periods of stress, when he was overtired or unoccupied. He had learned to manage it by working hard, going on punishing runs, and getting wasted, but there were still times when it snuck up and crushed the life out of him.
They had come full circle. He wanted the fun, fiery, sexy, carefree Piper back again, but he knew deep in his heart that woman had now gone. Not forever, but for him because he would not, could not take the next step. And Piper was intuitive enough not to push the relationship thing. She knew. He knew. And they both felt bad about it, but there was nothing more he could do about that. He could, however, sugarcoat the bitter pill to make it easier to swallow.
They spent the day eating and drinking, had a snowball fight with the last of the melting snow, and laughed over the cushion chucked out the back, which Princess Aspen had peed on the last time they’d been there. Piper insisted on drinking from the waterfall and took photographs; for Aspen, she said, to show her where she came up with her name.
“I can fix you a grilled cheese sandwich,” he said as they sat outside staring at a glowing moon.
“We’ve had burgers for lunch, giant shrimp, chicken, and steak today.” She rubbed her stomach. “No, I do not need another mouthful of food. I may never eat again”
“You’d better.” He grabbed her hand and squeezed. “It’s all gone by so fast. This fling, us, my bad behavior blackmailing you into seeing me.”
“You probably didn’t have to blackmail me. You could have just asked me out or something like normal people do.”
“I tried contacting you to do that, Miss Pricklepants, remember? And you never replied to my messages and voicemail.”
“Oh yeah.” She pulled her hand away and folded it into her lap. “It’s been good. I’ve made enough contacts to keep me in paid work for about two years, with the promise of more to come.”
”That’s great and you deserve it. You just needed a chance.”
“Matt?”
“Yes.”
“There’s something I need to tell you.”
The expression on her face made his blood run cold. It was super-exposed, super-earnest, and she didn’t look like the same woman he had met in Sanibel. She looked like a freaking angel and his heart flipped over. “You’re not going to tell me you’re in the Princess Aspen way, are you?”
She looked confused for a moment. “No! Oh my God, no. You know I can’t—that I wouldn’t—”
“Sorry.” He shook his head and chuckled. “It seemed like such a loaded statement.”
She took a deep breath before continuing. “I need to tell you that…I really wish you didn’t have to leave Passion Creek so soon.”
He pressed his lips together to stop a heartfelt, uncontrolled, and honest response from spewing forth. Control. Detachment. “I have to go, it’s the right time. But you’ll be fine, right?”
He heard her intake of breath. “Yes, of course I will.”
She wasn’t very convincing, but what had he expected her to say? She had her dignity. “And this is how we planned it all along.” He nodded, willing her to agree.
“I don’t think I ever got consulted during the planning phase.”
“Okay, sorry, but we have to be honest about this. You chased me in Sanibel. That night happened and then I chased you back. We had a few struggles along the way, but now we’re even, I think.”
Her eyebrows lifted. “I guess I made out a lot better in the end.”
He rubbed his chin for a moment and stared up at the stars. “And speaking of honesty, there’s something you should know about the stuff you told me in Sanibel, about the scandalous secrets I pretended to know.”
Her face dropped. “Pretended to know?”
“I tricked you. I’m not proud of it now, but the only thing you really told me was the Pastor Zimmerman thing. The purple penis…”
She swallowed before answering. “So why tell me now?”
God, he felt like a heel, but he needed her to know the truth. “I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder because of something I said. Whatever secrets you have are still secrets unless you’ve told anyone else. Have you?”
“Not the things that really bug me.”
He wanted her to open up to him, but even he wasn’t that selfish. “I guess I have no right to ask about them now, on our last night.”
She looked away. “No you haven’t, not really. And I don’t want to spoil our last night either. Let’s forget about all that.”
He wished he’d kept his mouth shut. “This whole journey has been amazing, Piper.”
“It’s cold now.” She stood up and threw the twig she’d been fiddling with onto the dying coals of the fire pit. It smoldered with blue smoke for a second and then burst into red and orange flame. “Let’s go in. Upstairs.”
Her hand slid into his as he watched the flame gutter and die. “Yes, let’s do that.”
Chapter Seventeen
“You’re beautiful,” he said as the bedroom door closed behind his back. He wanted to tell her how much he would miss her, but he couldn’t. It would open a line of conversation that would lead them nowhere and ruin the moment, and the time they had left.
“Sh.” She reached out and gently stroked his cheek. Her delicate touch burned his skin, and he held his breath, unsure how to respond. She had never touched him so tenderly before, or maybe she had, but he’d been in such a rush to have sex with her that he hadn’t noticed. How familiar the feel of her was after spending so many days and hours together. Hours with strangers, hours alone together, and hours of him lying awake at night when she hadn’t been there imagining her lying next to him, their bodies pressed together, naked, fingers entwined in the darkness.
He closed his eyes, leaning into her fingers as they found his lips and traced the outline of them, wanting her to kiss him, waiting for her to make the first move.
“Matt,” she murmured, “you okay?”
His insides melted. No, everything was not okay. This was their last night together and he had no idea how to play it. He had no idea why he felt so strange, so angry. He wanted to hear things come from her mouth that went beyond sex, that went deeper, but he couldn’t begin to imagine what those words would be. Or whether she was even capable of feeling the need to say those words after the way men had treated her so far.
He felt her soft breath on his cheek and her subtle female scent filled his lungs. He pulled her closer and looked down into her apple-green eyes. Raw desire sparkled there, but he was looking for more than that, and his wanting even more from her frightened him.
“I want you,” he murmured, three words he’d said so frequently to her, but this time there was more meaning behind them.
“Then close your eyes,” she whispered and her lips found his, their mouths merging, her tongue insistent, and he felt pressure and heat building with every touch of her hands. He needed her closer and put his arms around her slender waist, pulling her small frame into him, wanting her to feel his strength, to crave his protection.
He groaned as she kissed his neck and throat, small teeth grazing the hard edges of his shoulder, ta
sting the soft skin of his bicep and making him feel more alive than he could ever remember. He moved his hand up the back of her sweater and felt the deep groove of her spine, the soft angles of her shoulder blades, warm and silky under his touch. “No bra at all this time,” he murmured and swallowed down the sparkle of lust that threatened to make him see stars.
He pulled the sweater over her head and took her breasts in his hands, marveling at the soft, winter-pale skin and the dark red peaks that drove him crazy with desire. His thumbs grazed both nipples and she arched up, pressing herself into him and signaling her need to feel his naked flesh by pulling at his shirt buttons and finding his nipples with her hot, hungry mouth. He shuddered as she nipped at his puckered flesh, inflamed by how sensitive that part of him suddenly felt. Then he dipped his head, his lips trailing over her alabaster skin until her mouth left his chest with a small cry as he found the hard peak of her nipple and sucked it hard.
Her head fell back, exposing more of herself to his lips, rendering herself totally vulnerable by offering up the smooth ivory column of her throat, breathing heavily with anticipation. He could sense she trusted him to give her the ultimate pleasure, to bring her to orgasm like he always had, and for the first time ever, he felt nervous. This time needed to be special. Special enough so she would never forget…
“Let’s go to bed,” he whispered and silently helped her get out of the rest of her clothes, trying his best to remain controlled as she stroked the bulge in his trousers with teasing fingers and feathered his bare torso with hot kisses. Her fingers worked quickly to get his jeans and underwear off and they fell softly onto the enormous bed. She was liquid between her thighs before his fingers even began to stroke and explore her, and the fact that she was so responsive and aroused turned him on even more.
He ran his hands up over her flat belly, over her rib cage, and cupped her breasts as he leaned on one elbow over her and dipped his lips over hers. He loved the sweet taste of her more than ever in that moment and his breath hitched as her fingers curled around his length.
“Don’t you want me yet?” she whispered.
“I always want you.” He shivered as she pushed her hips toward him. Her body was a vision of creams, pinks, and copper that made him feel dizzy. She was so beautiful. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to last long—just looking at you laid out here is enough to make me come.”
He blew cold air over her lower body, teasing her until she moaned with frustration and pulled his hand down onto her. He put his fingers inside her and she gripped his wrist hard. Their mouths clashed with lust, tongues tangling like snakes, and her hips ground feverishly against his hand.
“God,” he gasped as her tight hot muscles constricted around his fingers. All he could think about was how it was going to feel when he was inside her again, taking her with him into sexual oblivion. He took a deep breath and slipped in another finger, his heart kicking painfully as she moaned like an animal and clawed desperately at his skin.
“You’re too much for me,” he growled, pulling away and then moving over her, one knee parting her legs even wider as she sighed with relief. He lowered his hips onto hers, feeling the tip of his erection brush against the soft inviting flesh of her inner thigh and the hard clash of their hipbones. “I want you, all of you, every erotic inch of you.” Her heart hammered beneath his chest, hard nipples digging in to him. Her eyes were closed with pleasure. “I want to watch your face as I make love to you,” he said and took her mouth with his before she could reply.
She wrapped her legs around his waist as he pushed her arms above her head, holding her wrists with one hand as his mouth found her neck and throat again, biting at the soft flesh, making her whimper and arch up hard against his hot body. It was all he could do not to drive hard and fast into her immediately, but he wanted this moment to last, to give her an orgasm she would never forget.
“Matt,” she cried out and tightened the grip her thighs had around him. “Take me.”
It was too much. He used his knees to open her legs wider. “Oh God,” he whispered. “I’ll try to be slow.” His breath came in short bursts as he eased himself in. She felt exquisite as he slowly rocked higher and deeper until she yielded to take him all in. Bursts of light distorted his vision he was so turned on, and he wasn’t sure he could hold off.
“Harder,” she whispered harshly and moaned as he withdrew and then pushed deep into her again. He closed his eyes and did her bidding, losing himself in pure carnal sensation. “Be rough.”
He knew he must be heavy on top of her, but he reveled in the way she writhed and bucked between him and the silk bed sheets. He could feel the rippling squeeze of her muscles each time he pushed down and into her, the soft give of the mattress forcing their pubic bones to clash and give off sensations like electric shocks. The ferocity of him taking her like this was turning her on as much, if not more, than it was him. With one move, he pushed her hands high above her head and thrust hard into her with all his strength, his climax building. “Open your eyes,” he muttered. “See what you’ve turned me into.”
Her green eyes fluttered open as he pounded into her, lifting her hips from the bed with the force, making her breasts shake until her stomach muscles clenched, her eyes closed shut, and her entire body convulsed around him. She screamed out his name as wave after wave of contractions gripped on to him, squeezing and pulling until he could no longer hold back. His gaze was locked on her mouth as that long white throat swallowed back air. And then he was lost. He helplessly flooded her with long, hot bursts. Emptying his lust into her with spasms that felt like they were ripping him apart, he was felled by a cataclysmic orgasm, crushed and sent to his own emotional death.
That was their last time…
…
The fifteenth, launch day.
There was no mistake, no ignoring it, and no possibility of sticking her head in the sand any longer. Piper’s fingers tightened on the seat belt across her chest, but it wasn’t the restraint that was causing the horrible, sickly ache in her lungs.
It was on the car radio, on billboards, on bus stops, on the itinerary. Passion Creek Arts Week and the long-awaited launch of Passion Creek Brewery’s new beer was everywhere. So were huge pictures of her smiling like she was the happiest poster girl on the planet when she felt the lowest she ever had. And it was destroying her.
They’d had all night together. They’d made love and lay in the darkness listening to each other’s breathing, and she’d had plenty of chances to do it. To tell him that she had fallen in love with him, that life for her would never be the same, and maybe even beg him to stay… But she hadn’t done any of that and she was disgusted with herself for being so weak. She was angry, her limbs ached, and so did her head. She was all messed up inside and she wanted to break something.
Matt slowed the Porsche next to the sidewalk outside her apartment building. “So, someone will pick you up at about four this afternoon?” She could feel him looking at her, waiting for a positive response. Business as usual.
She swallowed hard and closed her eyes. “I can’t do this.”
A pause. “Can’t do this?”
“Four this afternoon. The launch. You.”
When she dared to open her eyes, he was staring straight at the windshield, hands gripped together at the top of the steering wheel. “I see.”
“Is that all you have to say?” Anger bubbled up unexpectedly as she unclipped the seat belt and twisted to face him. “Aren’t you even interested enough to ask me why?”
A muscle twitched in his jaw and his gaze dropped to the dashboard. “Would it make any difference?”
It might, if you could be bothered.
He was going to get it anyway. “You’re insistent about leaving. You’ve said over and over again that after today it’s over. That’s it, finito—”
“We agreed that’s how it would be.”
Her fury grew at his attempt to calm her, brush her off. “Well, I was stup
id to go along with it, stupid to think I could make you change your mind. Stupid to find myself in a situation where I’m going to have my heart ripped out and discarded like a piece of trash.”
“That’s not fair—”
“None of this is fair, but there’s no way I can play out the final scene in public, Matt.” She fisted her hand and banged it on her knee, willing him to react. “CNN is just going to love it when your alleged girlfriend breaks down in tears at midnight.”
“It’s not something I saw coming.” His dark gaze met hers and for the first time, she noticed dark shadows under his eyes. It seemed neither of them had gotten much sleep last night. “I thought you were stronger than this.”
“Before today, so did I, but I can’t hold this charade together anymore. It’s hurting me too much. It’s humiliating and I hate you for it.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, Piper. That was never part of the plan.”
“Well, that was a fail.” She roughly brushed off his hand as he went to touch her on the shoulder and felt a second of triumph at the shock on his face. “You know, for someone who’s clearly intelligent, you’re incredibly stupid. You run away from anything that provokes a feeling deeper than a paper cut. That doesn’t make you much of a man.”
His jaw dropped, but she’d started now and wasn’t going to let up until she had said what she needed to say. “Keep this up and you’ll end up a lonely old man with no friends, no family, and no hope or joy beyond watching your bank balance swell. There’s more to life than the top of the corporate ladder and the bottom of a beer glass.”
Blackmailed by the Billionaire Brewer Page 16