by King, Deja
As I put on my tank top and heels I rolled my eyes thinking that I wasn’t even sure I wanted D’Mario to be the dude to take my virginity but I was slowly but surely leaning in that direction. Ever since Amir crushed my dreams of having him be my first I put all my focus on my relationship with D’Mario, which was extremely difficult since I had to sneak around. Although I was now eighteen and technically there wasn’t anything illegal about our relationship, my mother had made it clear that she didn’t want me dating a drug dealer. The funny thing was D’Mario still didn’t know I knew the truth about what his job profession really was. I was too busy having fun with him to even bring it up. He was the only reason I was able to not be totally crushed by the news Amir and Justina were boyfriend and girlfriend. So I was savoring the good times to keep my mind off what I considered to be a very low point in my life.
Thirty minutes laterasoinutes , after pulling my look together I grabbed my purse and headed downstairs. As I was rushing to get out the door, I was thinking about how right D’Mario was that my twenty minutes were now about to turn into another hour. Time and I were not friends or even associates. I constantly fought against it like we were enemies. I made a decision right then; that would be something I would start working on—being on time.
“Aaliyah, where are you rushing off to?” I heard my dad ask me; right when I thought I had reached freedom.
“Hey, daddy, when did you get back?” I said turning around to give him a hug.
“Late last night. I didn’t want to wake you.”
“You should have. I missed you. It seems like you’ve been gone forever.”
“Only a week.”
“Yeah, but your week is like every other day. How much do you want to bet that you’ll be going back out of town in a couple of days?”
“I’m not going to bet you, Aaliyah.”
“Why? Because you know I would win.”
“Why don’t we go have lunch? We need some father/daughter time.”
“That would be nice but I’m meeting Justina and I’m already running late.”
“What about dinner.”
“That would be cool. But let’s make it a family dinner, you, me, mom and Xavier.”
“We’ll see.”
“Why do we have to see, why can’t we just make it happen?”
“Because Supreme has no interests in making it happen.” I looked over my dad’s shoulder and saw my mother standing in the distance.
“Precious, not now. I’m trying to have a pleasant conversation with my daughter. I don’t want to argue with you.”
“Is this what we’re having, an argument? I thought it was called a family discussion.”
try"0em">< “What is going on between the two of you? Is that why you’re always going out of town, dad, because you can’t stand to be in the house with mom?”
“Answer her, Supreme,” my mom demanded, after my dad kept quiet for a few minutes.
“You want the truth, the answer is yes. Right now I rather be away working, then in the house with your mother.” Even with the distance between us I could see a slight look of despair cross my mother’s face.
“Daddy, what happened? You used to love mommy so much.”
“I still love your mother. We’re just going through a difficult time right now.”
“Would you please stop talking about me like I’m not in the fuckin’ room! That’s what the problem is now. Instead of you talking to me you talk through me.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Precious?”
“You know what I’m talking about. You speak to me like I’m invisible. Like what I feel and think doesn’t even matter to you.”
“That’s all in your mind.”
“I guess it’s in my mind too that you haven’t touched me in months not even on the rare occasions that you’re actually sleeping beside me in our bed.”
“I’m not going to have this conversation with you in front of our daughter.”
“You had no problem telling her you couldn’t stand being in the same house with me. If you’re gonna tell it then tell it all. Don’t hold nothing back!”
“Aaliyah, I’m sorry you have to hear this.”
“Don’t apologize for me!” My mother screamed out as she came closer to us. “You think you can’t stand me! I can’t stand you either! I’m so tired of being tired of you and your bullshit. I’m your wife. How long do you expect me to wait for you to decide to be my husband again?”
“Why can’t you guys just make it work? I hate all this arguing! I can’t remember the last time we’ve all been together happy as a family. I can’t take it anymore!”
“Aaliyah, wait!” I heard my dad call out to me as I ran out the house but I kept going.
I got in my car and speeded off. It was too much for me to deal with. I didn’t want to accept that my parent’s marriage could be over. My mother told me so many times that he was her first true love, that what they shared was magical, a once in a lifetime type of love. With how they acted towards each other a few minutes ago, in my mind there was no way that could possibly be true.
I felt my phone vibrating and it was my dad calling me but I had nothing to say to him. Or maybe I was afraid of what he might say to me. It made me almost want to vomit at the thought of hearing him say the word divorce. Tears began trickling down my face. My cell began vibrating again and I looked down thinking it was my father calling back but instead it was Amir.
“Hello,” I answered wanting to hear his voice.
“Aaliyah, what’s wrong, are you ok?”
“No.”
“What happened?”
“My parents just got in the biggest argument and I’m scared they’re going to get a divorce.” After I said the word out loud, the tears were no longer trickling they were rushing down my face.
“Aaliyah, calm down.”
“I can’t. The thought of my parents divorcing and Xavier growing up without my dad being around is too much for me to deal with.”
“Just because your parents were arguing doesn’t necessarily mean they’re getting a divorce.”
“You didn’t see how ugly it got and it would’ve been worse if I wasn’t there. Once I left, all hell probably broke loose.”
“I hate for you to be this upset. I wish I was there with you.”
“I do too.”
“The summer will be here before you know it and we’ll have a great time.”
“I hope so.”
“We will. Don’t we always have fun when you come for the summer?”
“Yes,” I answered with my voice cracking.
“Well this summer will be better than ever. We’ll be high school graduates, preparing for college. We have the best years of our lives to look forward to.”
“What if they don’t make it, Amir?” my voice had turned completely serious.
“Aaliyah, you have to prepare yourself for that possibility. I hope it doesn’t happen but it could. I have no idea what is going on with your mom and dad but I can promise you one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“No matter what, I’ll be here to help you get through it. That’s what best friends are for.” After Amir said that I felt as if I could exhale.
“Thank you for that. I no longer feel alone in this.”
“That’s because you’re not alone. We made a pact when we were little kids to always stand by each other’s side through good, bad and ugly. I haven’t forgotten and I take my pact seriously.”
“You’re so silly.” We both started laughing.
“I’ll admit I’m silly but I said something right because I got you smiling again.”
“You did and I love you for it.”
“I love you too. Now go do something fun. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”
“Bye.” Just like that Amir had me feeling good again. I felt so lucky to have him in my life. And although I was disappointed that he didn’t give us a chance to be more than friends I realize
d his friendship was more important. I really did hope that he and Justina could make it as a couple because they both deserved to be happy and he truly was a great catch.
When I ended my phone call with Amir I was pulling up to D’Mario’s condo. I glanced at the clock in my car and an hour and a half had passed since I spoke to him last. I knew he was furious but all I could say to myself was that shit happens.
I knocked at the door and waited a few seconds before ringing the doorbell. I knocked again and figured maybe he got so pissed with me that he hauled ass up outta there. I knocked one more time, and then decided to leave. When I was walking towards my car I heard the door open and D’Marith=and Do call out my name.
“I thought you had left.”
“Nope, I fell asleep waiting on your slow ass,” he grinned.
“Whatever, but I’m sorry about that. I had some problems at home.”
“What sort of problems?” he asked closing the door behind me. I sat down on the cream leather sofa and let out a deep sigh.
“My parents are having some marital issues right now.”
“That can’t be good.”
“It’s not but it’ll be ok.”
“You seem to be handling it like a soldier.”
“I wasn’t at first but I talked to a good friend of mine and he made me feel a lot better.”
“He, should I be jealous?”
“No. We’re best friends, nothing more. He’s actually Justina’s boyfriend.”
“Oh yeah, she broke my man’s Ja Khel’s heart when she told him she had a boyfriend.”
“Every time we’ve gone out Ja Khel seems to be doing just fine. He’s always with a different chick.”
“I said she broke his heart not his dick.”
“Yo, you’re crazy.”
“I’m saying. He did think she seemed like a nice girl. The type you can take home to meet your parents. I know you said yours are going through a tough time but I would still like to meet them. We’ve been seeing each other for some time now.”
“I haven’t met your parents.”
“That’s because they live in Miami. But in a couple weeks I’m going there to visit. You need to make that trip with me.”
“That sounds nice. But I’m not sure with school and all.”
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“We can go on a weekend so you won’t have to miss school.”
“True, but my parents might give me a hard time.”
“That’s why you should let me meet them so they can see who you’ve been spending all your time with. Is that a problem?” I didn’t know if the expression on my face gave it away or if D’Mario could hear the hesitation in my voice. I wasn’t in the mood to go there but I felt it was time to put it all on the table.
“Here’s the thing, D’Mario. My parents don’t know I’m seeing you.”
“Why? What they don’t allow you to date. They tryna make you a nun?”
“No. I never told you this but after our first date my mother forbad me to see you again.”
“Why, she’s never even met me.”
“My grandfather who did meet you told her you were a drug dealer and that you weren’t eighteen but twenty-two.” D’Mario put his head down as if he was trying to get his thoughts together before defending himself.
“Both of those things are true but I guess you already knew that.”
“Why did you lie to me about your age? I mean you had to know I was going to be suspicious. There are a lot of rich kids in Beverly Hills but not many of them are living on their own in a super-hot condo with a couple of cars to drive.”
“I figured you knew I wasn’t really eighteen. That was more so me bullshitting than anything else. As far as my occupation go, again I figured you knew something was up but since you didn’t press me about it I let it go.”
“I was gonna let it go, but you was stressing me about meeting my family and I didn’t know how to keep putting you off.”
“At least now I understand why every time we go out you damn near be tryna have us in Calabasas. You want to make sure none of your people see us together.”
I couldn’t help but laugh because he was speaking the truth. For the last couple of months I would come up with every excuse in the book to get us as far away from Beverly Hills as possible. I didn’t want to have another run in with my grandfather like before so I stayed extra cautious.
“I’m glad you find it funny.”
“D’Mario, it’s nothing personal against you. I really do have a good time when we’re together, but my family is very protective.”
“I can understand that. If you were my daughter I would be that way too. So what do you want to do?”
“You mean today?”
“That too, but I’m talking about us, our relationship. We can’t stay in hiding forever unless you not tryna let things between us go any further.”
“The whole drug dealer thing don’t bother me. My family never talks about it but I ain’t dumb. I know there are a lot of illegal activities that surround me and my people; I’m just sequestered from it. I’m eighteen now so I have every right to date you but I know it’s going to be a problem and you may not be ready for that.”
“What you mean?”
“I’m worried they may try to make your life difficult if they find out I’ve still been seeing you. I enjoy your company and I want us to have a good time, which means no complications.”
“Ma, all I want to do is make you happy. No drama on my end,” D’Mario said, putting his hand in the back pocket of my jeans and pulling me close to him.
“With those dimples and pretty white teeth¸ that’s a good start to making me happy,” I said kissing his soft lips. Dude was so fuckin’ sexy and smelled so good. That was the main reason I kept dealing with him already knowing it wasn’t in the cards for us. The more he hypnotized me with his scent and tongue the more I considered letting him be my first.
“You should let me bring you even more happiness,” he teased, gently kissing on my earlobes.
“And how would you do that?”
“I can show you better than I can tell you.” I looked up at the spiral staircase that led to the loft bedroom. I had been in there several times but I always made sure our bed contact was limited but for some reason today, I was feeling open to it. I think I wanted to feel good to take away feeling so bad about my parents.
“I’m hungry. Let’s go get something to eat.” I decided today wasn’t the day I would get my cherry popped. As much as D’Mario turned me on, I wasn’t ready to give up the goods just yet.
width= align="left">“So where do you want to go and have lunch—San Diego?”
“Oh, you got jokes.”
“That’s a reasonable question.”
“No, we can get something right here in the neighborhood.”
“You sure about that? Like you said, you don’t want any complications.”
“Fuck it, I need to live.”
“Yeah, you do. There’s so much I can show you, Aaliyah, if you let me.”
“Can you show me how to make my own money?’
“Huh?”
“You heard me. Can you let me into your world so I can bring in my own paper?”
“Why would you need to do that? You come from a shit load of money.”
“But it’s not mine. I see myself out there buying shit and not having to go to my mommy and daddy to get it.”
“How ‘bout you come to me. I may not have the type of paper your family has but I’m also super straight.”
“I believe that but I don’t want that shit either. I mean I do want my man to be able to treat me right and show me a good time on his own dime but I want to be able to bring my own paper to the table.”
“And you’re willing to do some illegal shit to make that happen?”
“Why not, unless you’re saying you ain’t got nothing that I can do.”
“Oh, I got something you can do. But is thrill seeking worth y
ou risking your freedom.”
“I’m not trying to be on the corner hustling. I won’t get caught.”
“Anytime you doing what I do there is a chance you can get caught no matter how slight it might be.”
“I get it and I appreciate the warning but I think if I follow your lead I’ll be good.”
“Come on let’s go. We can talk about your job description in the car.” I grabbed my purse and followed D’Mario to his car.
It was gorgeous out so D’Mario drove his black convertible XK. When he put the top down and the breeze began hitting my face and blowing through my hair a renewed sense of happiness flooded over me. Being with D’Mario made me feel like a grown woman who could make her own decisions and do whatever the hell she wanted and I loved it.
“So where do you want to go eat?”
“It’s up to you. I’m following your lead today.”
“I like the way that sounds. But I want to go to this Italian restaurant about ten minutes away. Are you cool with that?”
I lowered my shades so D’Mario could see my eyes, “Like I said, I’m following your lead.”
“Only checking. But one of the reasons I like it is because it’s a low key spot. If you want to go someplace and not be seen, this is the place.”
“Whatever. I’m relaxed and this breeze is feeling so good and I’m loving your car. I need to get me a convertible.”
“Yeah, everybody needs a convertible in their collection.”
“So this and the Range are the only cars you have?”
“Nope, I actually have four. I keep the other two at my crib in Miami.”
“Let me guess they’re black?” I smiled.
D’Mario turned and looked at me with a grin and replied, “Yes.”
“It’s obvious black is your favorite color. You always wear black. Everything in your condo is basically black except for the cream sofa and some of the other décor. You even wear black diamonds.”
“You got a problem with that?”
“No, I think it’s sexy.” When we got to the red light I leaned over and kissed D’Mario. He was irresistible to me. And the faceft And tht that dude made his paper the illegal way instead of sitting in an office doing a nine to five turned me on for some reason.