LETTER XXXV
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.
I have found out by my watchful spy almost as many of my charmer'smotions, as those of the rest of her relations. It delights me to thinkhow the rascal is caressed by the uncles and nephew; and let into theirsecrets; yet it proceeds all the time by my line of direction. I havecharged him, however, on forfeiture of his present weekly stipend, andmy future favour, to take care, that neither my beloved, nor any ofthe family suspect him: I have told him that he may indeed watch heregresses and regresses; but that only keep off other servants from herpaths; yet not to be seen by her himself.
The dear creature has tempted him, he told them, with a bribe [which shenever offered] to convey a letter [which she never wrote] to Miss Howe;he believes, with one enclosed (perhaps to me): but he declined it: andhe begged they would take notice of it to her. This brought him a stingyshilling; great applause; and an injunction followed it to all theservants, for the strictest look-out, lest she should contrive some wayto send it--and, above an hour after, an order was given him to throwhimself in her way; and (expressing his concern for denying her request)to tender his service to her, and to bring them her letter: which itwill be proper for him to report that she has refused to give him.
Now seest thou not, how many good ends this contrivance answers?
In the first place, the lady is secured by it, against her ownknowledge, in the liberty allowed her of taking her private walks in thegarden: for this attempt has confirmed them in their belief, that nowthey have turned off her maid, she has no way to send a letter out ofthe house: if she had, she would not have run the risque of temptinga fellow who had not been in her secret--so that she can prosecuteunsuspectedly her correspondence with me and Miss Howe.
In the next place, it will perhaps afford me an opportunity of a privateinterview with her, which I am meditating, let her take it as she will;having found out by my spy (who can keep off every body else) thatshe goes every morning and evening to a wood-house remote from thedwelling-house, under pretence of visiting and feeding a set ofbantam-poultry, which were produced from a breed that was hergrandfather's, and of which for that reason she is very fond; as also ofsome other curious fowls brought from the same place. I have an accountof all her motions here. And as she has owned to me in one of herletters that she corresponds privately with Miss Howe, I presume it isby this way.
The interview I am meditating, will produce her consent, I hope, toother favours of the like kind: for, should she not choose the placein which I am expecting to see her, I can attend her any where in therambling Dutch-taste garden, whenever she will permit me that honour:for my implement, high Joseph Leman, has procured me the opportunity ofgetting two keys made to the garden-door (one of which I have given himfor reasons good); which door opens to the haunted coppice, as traditionhas made the servants think it; a man having been found hanging in itabout twenty years ago: and Joseph, upon proper notice, will leave itunbolted.
But I was obliged previously to give him my honour, that no mischiefshould happen to any of my adversaries, from this liberty: for thefellow tells me, that he loves all his masters: and, only that he knowsI am a man of honour; and that my alliance will do credit to the family;and after prejudices are overcome, every body will think so; or he wouldnot for the world act the part he does.
There never was a rogue, who had not a salvo to himself for beingso.--What a praise to honesty, that every man pretends to it, even atthe instant that he knows he is pursuing the methods that will perhapsprove him a knave to the whole world, as well as to his own conscience!
But what this stupid family can mean, to make all this necessary, Icannot imagine. My REVENGE and my LOVE are uppermost by turns. Ifthe latter succeed not, the gratifying of the former will be my onlyconsolation: and, by all that's good, they shall feel it; although forit I become an exile from my native country for ever.
I will throw myself into my charmer's presence. I have twice alreadyattempted it in vain. I shall then see what I may depend upon from herfavour. If I thought I had no prospect of that, I should be tempted tocarry her off. That would be a rape worthy of Jupiter!
But all gentle shall be my movements: all respectful, even to reverence,my address to her--her hand shall be the only witness to the pressureof my lip--my trembling lip: I know it will tremble, if I do not bidit tremble. As soft my sighs, as the sighs of my gentle Rose-bud. By myhumility will I invite her confidence: the loneliness of the place shallgive me no advantage: to dissipate her fears, and engage her relianceupon my honour for the future, shall be my whole endeavour: butlittle will I complain of, not at all will I threaten, those who arecontinually threatening me: but yet with a view to act the part ofDryden's lion; to secure my love, or to let loose my vengeance upon myhunters.
What tho' his mighty soul his grief contains? He meditates revenge who least complains: And like a lion slumb'ring in his way, Or sleep dissembling, while he waits his prey, His fearless foes within his distance draws, Constrains his roaring, and contracts his paws: Till at the last, his time for fury found, He shoots with sudden vengeance from the ground: The prostrate vulgar passes o'er, and spares, But, with a lordly rage, his hunter tears.
Clarissa Harlowe; or the history of a young lady — Volume 1 Page 43