On the high-art side, avant-garde musicians Lou Reed and Laurie Anderson put on a concert at Australia’s Sydney Opera House that could be heard only by dogs.
In pop culture, a group called the Underdogs produced a Christmas single audible only to dogs as a fund-raiser for the SPCA. The title: “A Very Silent Night.”
And at the purely commercial end of things, Nestlé ran a television dog-food commercial in Austria aimed directly at dogs, featuring sounds humans couldn’t hear. Along the same lines, Nestlé created a sniffable dog poster. The idea is obviously that if pets respond excitedly to the commercials, their owners will buy the food.
But you have to wonder: exactly what sounds are they making to create that canine excitement? We’re guessing it’s less likely lip-smacking exclamations about how delicious the food is and more likely the chattering of squirrels in heat.
Songs to Dance to with Your Dog
“Call Me a Dog” by Hound Dog Taylor
“Puppy Love” by Lil’ Bow Wow
“Puttin’ on the Dog” by Tom Waits
“The Dog Is in the House” by Rude Dogs
“Who Let the Dogs Out (Barking Mad Mix)” by Baha Men
“Dog Days Are Over” by Florence and the Machine
“Doggystyle” by Snoop Dogg
CRAZY? Knit Your Own Dog
The crafts world has embraced dogs too, and one of the wackiest ideas—and most popular—is to knit your own dog. There’s a website on the subject (knityourowndog.com/uk/), a book, and yes, even a couple of stop-action movies that picture hand-knit dogs wearing hand-knit sweaters playing with their hand-knit toys and never, best of all, dropping any dog poop, hand-knit or otherwise. The perfect pet (as the site says), indeed!
Dog Books
There’s an endless appetite for dog books, one that writers and publishers are only too eager to keep filling. (Imagine!) Some of the subjects new to the shelves:
•Do Dogs Dream? Nearly Everything Your Dog Wants You to Know by Stanley Coren
•Reiki for Dogs by Kathleen Prasad
•The $60,000 Dog by New Yorker writer Lauren Slater
•Several dog-related mysteries, including Night of the Living Dogs and Fashion Faux Paw
•Several war dog books, such as Cry Havoc: The History of War Dogs by Nigel Allsopp and Canine Commandos by Nigel Cawthorne, plus others by authors not named Nigel
•How to Teach Relativity to Your Dog by Chad Orzel
•Dogs speaking from the afterlife (doggie heaven is real!), with titles such as Forever Faithful and I’m Home!
•Books about pirate dogs, real and imaginary
•A Jew’s Best Friend? by Rakefet Zalashik and Phillip Ackerman-Lieberman, about dogs and Jewish history
•Dog-Friendly Gardening by Karen Bush
•Dangerous Book for Dogs: A Parody by Rex and Sparky
•Rescue dogs who end up rescuing people, such as Four Feet Tall and Rising by Shorty Rossi
•Dog, Inc., a book about the dog-cloning industry by John Woestendiek
She read Rabid, not totally amused.
•Chicken Soup for the Soul: I Can’t Believe My Dog Did That! by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Jennifer Quasha
•Dieting with My Dog by Peggy Frezon
•I Am Bill Gates’ Dog, a comic novel
•Books on dogs as a metaphor for success, such as From Wags to Riches and Sales Dogs: You Do Not Have to Be an Attack Dog to Be Successful in Sales, though none of them, as far as we know, by Bill Gates’ dog
What to Read if You’re Sick of Dog Books
Is it any accident that many of the most successful works of literature of the past several years have the word dog in the title? They may not be dog books per se, but maybe it’s enough that people think they are. Examples:
•Black Dogs by Ian McEwan
•Don’t Let’s Go to the Dogs Tonight by Alexandra Fuller
•Isle of Dogs by Patricia Cornwell
•Started Early, Took My Dog by Kate Atkinson
•Love Is a D og from Hell by Charles Bukowski
•Must Love Dogs by Claire Cook
•Road Dogs by Elmore Leonard
•The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
•The Dogs of Babel by Carolyn Parkhurst
•The Dogs of War by Frederick Forsyth
•What the Dog Saw by Malcolm Gladwell
Dog Magazines
There are even more dog magazines in the United States than there are bridal or celebrity magazines, according to the titles available for subscription on Amazon. There are the big glossies like Dog Fancy and Dog World. Then there are the hip lifestyley magazines like Bark, Modern Dog, and CityDog. Alternative dog magazines include Whole Dog Journal and Natural Dog. There are even breed-specific titles such as Pointing Dog Journal and Just Labs. We can almost envision a magazine version of Rabid on the newsstand. (Psst, Si Newhouse, call us.)
Fourteen Dog Websites to Waste a Day On
Believe us, we’ve been there . . .
Bad Dog Chronicles baddogs.com/: Where you can share your bad-dog stories, pictures, and videos and take pleasure in learning how much worse others have it.
Bee Dogs beedogs.com: “The premier online repository for pictures of dogs in bee costumes.”
Celebrity Dog Watcher celebritydogwatcher.com/: If you’re the kind of person who loves Us Weekly, but wishes it had more dogs, then this is the site for you.
Dachshund News dailydachshundanddognews.com/: Is there really that much to say about doxies? Uh, yeah.
Dog Central dogcentral.info/category/funny-dog-pictures/: Amazing, funny, and weird dog stories and pictures and more.
Dog Horoscopes doghoroscopes.com: Find out whether you and that puppy you’re thinking of adopting are compatible.
Dog Quotations dogquotations.com/: A must-visit if you’re heading to a doggie roast or wedding.
Dogbook www.facebook.com/Dogbookapp: Facebook for dogs, where 3.5 million dogs “interact daily” in a bark- and sniff-free virtual environment.
Doggelganger www.doggelganger.co.nz/: Want a dog that looks just like you? Doggelganger can help.
Dogs in Top Hats dogsintophats.tumblr.com: In the words of the site owner, “A different dog in a top hat every day, except when I’m too busy.”
Dogster dogster.com: Cool and complete guide to dog ownership.
Hipster Puppies hipsterpuppies.tumblr.com: Dogs looking and thinking hipster.
I Has a Hotdog dogs.icanhascheezburger.com: U getz da meme?
Life With Dogs lifewithdogs.tv: The site for the person who watches only the dog videos on YouTube.
Wiki Fido wikifido.com: As thorough as a wiki can be.
Dog Festivals
Thousands of Bark in the Park and dog-adoption festivals take place around the country and indeed the world every year. Some of the biggest and longest running:
UC Davis Picnic Day
Where: University of California at Davis
When: April
What: UC Davis is a school noted for its veterinary program, so it’s no surprise that its annual open house, which has had a century-long run, features a number of dog-related events. The most famous is the Doxie Derby, a series of races for standard and miniature dachshunds. The dogs exhibit varying levels of seriousness; some don’t seem to understand they’re racing. Last year they added a “doxiecam” to one dog’s head and broadcast it on the Jumbotron along with the scores. There’s also a breed showcase and a Frisbee dog competition.
By the numbers: 50,000 total attendees at picnic day
Do Dah Day
Where: Rhodes and Caldwell Parks, Birmingham, Alabama
When: May
What: An annual parade and music fe
stival that’s been held for more than three decades now. The night before the festival, on Do Dah eve, the (human) kings and queens of Do Dah are crowned. The next day hundreds of pet owners parade on foot or via float with their dogs, cats, and exotic pets, followed by a free concert and complimentary food for both humans and animals. Attendees donate to local shelters and humane societies.
By the numbers: 45,000 humans and nearly that many dogs; $800,000 raised for charity since 1992
Bark Around the Park
Where: Millbrook Exchange Park in Raleigh, North Carolina
When: April
What: Organized by North Carolina Parks and Recreation, BAP is a dog festival started in the late 1980s that includes doggie Olympics with a sprint, high jump, hurdles, and a relay, a dog show, a Frisbee contest, bone hunts, and a booth to get your dog microchipped and/or vaccinated for rabies.
By the numbers: 3,500 attendees (human), $5 rabies shots, and $10 microchipping
Great North Dog Walk
Where: The Leas, South Shields, England
When: June
What: Guinness World Record holders for largest mass dog walk, which takes place along a three-and-a-half-mile route and also includes an all-day festival.
By the numbers: 22,742 dogs is the 2011 world record. They’ve raised a cumulative 4.2 million pounds over twenty years for charity.
Mighty Texas Dog Walk
Where: Austin, Texas
When: April
What: A fund-raiser for Texas hearing and service dogs, Mighty Texas has its eyes on the British world record. In 2011, they held the record for a few months, but the Brits got it back when they held the GNDW.
By the numbers: 11,256 dogs participated last year, raising over $250,000
Woofstock
Where: Sedgwick County Park in Wichita, Kansas
When: October
What: This Woofstock (there are at least three festivals that go by the same name), is an annual fund-raiser for the Kansas Humane Society that boasts events all day for dogs and people, including vendors, a silent auction, a play area for kids and puppies, races for all dogs, and competitions.
By the numbers: Average attendance 17,000; raised $200,000 in 2010
Doggie Art Festival
Where: Bullfish Baldwin Park in Winter Park, Florida
When: April
What: Exhibitions and sales by pet-inspired artists are the main draw at this festival, which also features pet product vendors and live music. Proceeds benefit greyhound rescue.
By the numbers: Thousands of attendees
Dog Bowl
Where: Fair Park, Texas
When: April
What: An annual free event at the Cotton Bowl football stadium, the park gates open to dogs of all shapes and sizes to run dog agility courses, perform dance exhibitions, have their pooch portraits painted, and play in giant dog pools. Meanwhile their people can visit vendors or adopt new puppies of their own.
By the numbers: Thousands of attendees
WAG! Fest
Where: Prairie Oak, Metro Parks, Columbus, Ohio
When: August
What: A festival that celebrates dog-human friendships and includes exhibitor booths and events including a Top Dog contest, which judges entrants on style, athleticism, and training as well as a dog-owner look-alike contest. Other features: a dog water park and disc and agility demonstrations.
By the numbers: 12,000 people and 7,000 dogs
National Dog Party Day
Where: New York City, San Francisco, and more
When: June 24
What: Pet expert Arden Moore and Pet Sitters International, the creators of Take Your Dog to Work Day, are trying to make June 24 an annual day of countrywide dog parties. Recent upscale events in New York City and San Francisco featured party games, fashion shows, and a flash mob, with plans to add more parties all around the country.
By the numbers: In its inaugural year, Dog Party Day raised $5,000 for charity.
Dog Halloween
Even if you’re not the kind of person who might routinely outfit your dog in a Burberry jacket, say, and little rain boots, you may be tempted to buy or make him a costume for Halloween. While actual trick-or-treating could kill your canine—chocolate is toxic to dogs—you can always walk around the neighborhood scaring children or, more likely, scaring your actual dog.
The weight of a costume (or any kind of clothing) on a dog’s back makes him feel as if he’s being dominated and punished, says Alexandra Horowitz, who teaches canine cognition at Barnard, which can cause him to try to shed the costume by shaking it off, pawing it off, or rolling in a big pile of bird entrails so you’re forced to throw the damn thing in the garbage and let him stay home hiding his head in his paws whenever a trick-or-treater rings the doorbell.
“I haven’t a (scientific) clue why people dress dogs up,” e-mailed Horowitz, author of the book Inside of a Dog: What Dogs See, Smell, and Know.
Maybe because the pressure is on for you, too, with hundreds of doggie Halloween parades and festivals making you feel as if you, as a good dog parent, need to buy or make an ever-more-creative costume for your pet.
The trendiest right now:
Dogs as other animals. Bees are the most popular, followed by other insects such as butterflies and dragonflies. Other popular options are farm animals such as sheep or wild animals such as lions or dinosaurs. Cats are always funny; note that cat owners like to dress their pets up as dogs.
Dogs as famous people. Kate Middleton was big last Halloween. Sarah Palin is also a winner. And there are a lot of ways to go with Lady Gaga. For boy dogs, Elvis and Michael Jackson are stylish options.
Dogs as food. No. 1 idea: hotdogs, ha-ha. But tacos, bananas, ice cream sundaes, and the seasonally appropriate pumpkin are also big hits.
Dogs as food II. Attach a stuffed alligator or python to your dog’s hind legs or an orca or shark to its head for that classic horror-movie look.
Dogs with riders on their backs. Knights, cowboys, Roman centurions, or even the Headless Horseman. This one is less of a costume and more of an action figure. But hey, it’s easy and cute.
Star dogs. Some small dogs already look like Ewoks or like Chewbacca, so all you need is a hood or a belt. But Princess Leia and Yoda are popular dog costumes too.
Dogs as upright humans—with dog heads. There’s a trend in store-bought costumes toward shirts with little stuffed arms, so from the front your dog looks like a little human with a big dog head. From the side, of course, your dog just looks like a dog with a tiny cloth torso hanging from its neck.
Dog-owner themed costumes. Nothing says “I love my dog” like making a tiny version of your own costume for your dog. Alternately, make your dog part of your costume and dress up as Dorothy and Toto, or Batman with a little doggie Robin.
Dog Sports
Dogs surfing in Malibu and skateboarding in Paris, kayaking in the Hamptons and disc-diving just about everywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah: but what about the really over-the-top dog sports like:
Bikejoring. A cross between dog sledding and biking, with two harnessed dogs pulling bike and rider along wooded trails.
Canicross. Canicross is basically running while harnessed behind a dog. A fast dog. Like bikejoring, canicross originated to train and condition sled dogs in the off-season but has come into its own as a sport.
Dock diving. So-called dockdogs jump from docks for distance or height into a body of water. Popular around the world, dock diving is televised on ESPN.
A dockdog in action.
Earthdog trials. These are a test of terriers’ rat-catching ability, as teams of terriers navigate manmade tunnels on the scent of a rat (protected, lest you fear cruelty, by wooden bars).
Flyball. Flyball is a team relay sport in which four dogs take turns jumping hurdles an
d then land on a springboarded box that shoots a tennis ball into the air. Each dog then has to catch the ball (in its mouth, of course) and leap back over the hurdles to the starting line.
French ring sport. Originated as a test course for working dogs, they go through their usual paces: jumping, catching, heeling, guarding, attacking people dressed in protective clothing. Whee!
Hound trailing. Hounds race against one another on a ten-mile cross-country course, marked by an aniseed and paraffin scent.
Nose work. This sport grew out of training K9 rescue dogs. Also called scent work or fun nose work, dogs compete to match objects based only on scent.
Skijoring. Humans cross-country ski harnessed to a dog.
Tracking trial. People pretend to be lost, leaving objects along a trail and finally hiding themselves, and dogs track them via scent.
Treibball. In this new sport from Germany, dogs have to herd eight rubber balls, in order of color or size, into a net.
CRAZY? Dancing with the Dogs
Cross extreme dog lovers with Dancing with the Stars and what do you get? A “sport” or maybe an art or maybe just a really weird activity euphemistically called canine freestyle, in which dogs and their owners get together in large spectator arenas, dress up in costumes, and mambo, do-si-do, and Texas two-step. With classes, retreats, and choreographed events all over the world (canine freestylers have competed on Britain’s Got Talent), hundreds of thousands more people are dancing with their dogs than are, say, reading literary fiction (and no, that’s not the sound of me sobbing).
CRAZY about your dog or just CRAZY
Tearing up at Homeward Bound.
Tearing up when Mishka the Talking Husky says, “I love you.”
Leaving the television on to keep your dog company.
Keeping track of your pet via doggie cam.
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