We filed onto the platform, and Asteran’s fingers raced over the panel. Dirt caked his cobalt hair and covered the markings on his face. Strangely, without the tattoos, he looked just as human as the rest of us.
“Please, Mother of the Universe, make this thing work,” Leo chanted, bouncing on his feet.
The elevator jerked, and we started to rise. I cheered, wanting to throw my arms around Asteran. Tauren’s presence held me in check.
“Remind me never to go underground again.” Leo leaned against the wall and stared at the ceiling as though he could make the elevator go faster.
The temperature rose as we ascended, and I coughed as a dry tickle lodged in my throat. We reached the surface and stepped into another hellish chaos. Large chunks of smoldering rock catapulted through the air. Fire raged through patches of the forest, and trees cracked and fell around us.
“Get to the ship!” Asteran pointed south, and we launched into the sooty undergrowth. I thought of the magadon, half afraid it would come after us and half worried about its own life.
It wouldn’t have survived much longer on Priavenus anyway, but that thought didn’t remedy the aching sense of loss eating a hole in my heart.
A flaming ball of rock hit the ground in front of us, spewing hot ash in our faces.
“This way.” Asteran pulled Leo and me to the right, and the others followed. We zigzagged through the flames, skirting the larger blazes. My eyes and throat burned, and my skin ached like I’d held it to close to the thermal eminator.
We breached the forest, and the arachnid ship loomed before us. Weirdly, I was relieved to see it. I checked to make sure Nova still had the chest then started up the ramp to the ship. Asteran closed the portal behind us. Explosions hit the hull, and I hoped the metal could withstand the fiery, volcanic rock.
We ran to the control room, and Asteran pressed his forehead against the red orb. The determination in his eyes was hard and unyielding. Could revenge be all he could think of? Would vengeance swallow his soul?
“Can you get us out of here, or what?” Beside him, with wide eyes, Leo stared into the orb. The flaming forest reflected in the reddish depths, with volcanoes spewing lava and chunks of rock on the horizon. Priavenus was the last place we wanted to be.
“Leave him alone.” I pulled Leo away.
Asteran had just lost the last connection he had with his world.
“Let him concentrate.”
My brother and I sat on the floor, where Nova and Tauren sat with the chest between them. Leo, Nova, and I held on to each other as the ship began to shudder. Tauren regarded us with a skeptical look, apparently too proud to seek our comfort.
This shaking felt much better than the earthquake. Asteran worked to get the ship off the ground. My teeth chattered, and blood flowed in my mouth where I’d bitten my tongue. The ash on Leo’s body tickled my nose. Wiping my nose on my arm left a black streak of cinders. We all reeked of burnt toast.
The shaking subsided and ceased all together, and silence rang in my ears.
I stood and checked the orb Asteran bent over. His dirt-streaked hair covered both sides of his face. His fingers gripped the orb, the fingertips moving slightly in small circles as he drove the ship. Inside the reddish ball, stars pricked the deep black sky. We glided through the atmosphere and into space.
Panic jolted me, and I checked my pocket to make sure I still had Telehedron’s disc.
I ran my finger down the hard plastic, and I thought of the old man’s hand squeezing mine. Guilt trickled through me. I should have done more to reassure him in the last moments of his life. Staring at the dark planet of Cavernia as it grew from a speck into a bulging evil eye, I vowed not to let him down.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The Lull Before the Storm
I swam across the pool in my bra and undies, the soothing buoyancy cleansing the ash from my skin.
This is what it’s like to take a bath.
The New Dawn had pools for working out and swim team, but we were never allowed in them until we’d showered. Once we were in them, we couldn’t just lay around.
“I think you’re clean now.” Nova sat on the edge, dangling her feet. We’d found another pool of drinking water like the first and decided to use it for cleansing. No one wanted the memories of the utter ruin of Priavenus on their body, not if they could help it. As much as I scrubbed, some of the aftermath would never wash away.
“I know. I’m just relaxing.” After all that had happened, my body was in a constant state of adrenaline and shock. Images of Telehedron’s kind face, that awful tunnel with all the creepy crawlies, and Asteran’s hands sticking out from the cave kept assaulting my mind.
“Do you think it was worth it to go for those crystals? I mean we almost died like ten times in the process.” Nova kicked the water.
“If Asteran says we need them, then he’s right.” I picked up my hand, watching the water droplets plink into the pool and create ripples in concentric circles. They reminded me of Telehedron’s words. Saving a life creates a positive force in the balance, spreading in all directions to accomplish never-ending good. I’d only known the old man for a few minutes, yet his death would impact the rest of my life.
“Yeah, but what if they don’t work as well on us as they do on him?”
I climbed out of the water. Since we didn’t have towels, I had to air dry. “Are you afraid the mother brain will find you again?”
Nova nodded. “It was awful. She peeled me apart, layer by layer, reducing me to nothing but a primal sense of fear.”
I shuddered. Whenever something bothered me, I busied myself with distractions. “We should get going and try to find a way to string those crystals around our necks.”
Nova nodded and picked up our uniforms from across the room. “Let’s see how the guys are doing.”
I rolled my eyes. I didn’t want to think of Asteran, Tauren, and Leo all hanging out in a man-cave in their boxers. Well, maybe Asteran, but the other two—no way.
We dressed and walked to the control room. Tauren had fallen asleep in the corner, and Asteran and Leo sat facing each other, cross-legged in the reddish light of the orb. Asteran’s cobalt hair was slicked back, still wet from bathing. In the dim light, the waves looked as black as the ink on his face. I held Nova in place, and we watched their conversation.
“Temporal displacement can be triggered by trauma, regression, memories, or anything involving your central cortex. The first thing you need to do is realize where you are. From there, you can navigate the path back to your present state.” Asteran trailed his finger across the air, connecting two imaginary dots.
Leo ran his hand through his hair, making his wet curls stand up even more. “What if I can’t find my way back? What if I get stuck in the past, or the future?”
“Ask yourself how you got there and what you were doing just a few minutes before. If you can’t remember, then you’re in an alternate time.”
“How do I return once I know?”
“Your mind, once aware, will gravitate back to home base. Like a seedling that reaches through the soil for the sun.” Asteran touched Leo’s forehead. “Now close your eyes and clear your thoughts.”
I stepped forward from the tunnel’s mouth. “You’re not going to send him back there on purpose, are you?”
Asteran turned toward me. His eyes brightened as he scanned my wet uniform clinging to my body. He looked away sheepishly. “It’s the only way he can practice how to control it.”
“I have to do this, sis.” Determination hardened Leo’s gaze. “I want to beat this, and Tanny’s going to help.”
“Isn’t there a safer way?” I sat next to Leo and squeezed his shoulder, knowing how much he hated going back and missing out on real life while he was there.
Shaking his head, Asteran gave me a sympathetic look. “He has to learn to control it if he’s ever going to be independent.”
“Asteran’s right.” Nova sat next to me. “On
ce they discover his mental illness, they’ll watch him like a hawk. He’ll never have a normal life.”
I thought of the psychologists on the New Dawn locking Leo in a cell. That wasn’t a life I wanted for him. He could do so much more for our colony and for himself.
“Okay.” I turned to Leo. “We’ll be here when you wake up.”
“Thanks, sis.” Leo stretched on his back and nodded to Asteran. “I’m ready.”
Asteran touched his forehead, and blue light emanated from his fingertips. “I’m going to pull up a memory from a past existence, which should trigger another episode. Once you’re there, ask yourself the questions I told you and return to us.”
Leo closed his eyes, and the light grew stronger. His eyelids flickered and he writhed. He muttered incomprehensible words until one phrase stood out from the rest. “Just give me the damn keys and I’ll go myself.”
My stomach tightened, and I slid away from my brother in case he lashed out. We didn’t have keys on the New Dawn. He’d gone back.
“What’s he talking about?” Nova scurried to my side as if he was diseased.
Leo opened his eyes and sat up. His face hardened into a sour expression. He looked like a different person. “Are you coming with me or not?”
He was talking to me. I glanced at Asteran and spoke under my breath. “What memory did you trigger?”
Asteran shrugged. “I don’t know. Something powerful enough to take him back.”
Leo waited for me to respond, tapping his fingers on his knees. “I still have to refill the water buckets. I don’t have all day.”
I felt like I’d entered a game where I didn’t know all of the rules. Here we go again. “Sure.”
He waited until I came over and sat beside him, then he turned his wrist and brought up both hands. They moved in sync, one going up and the other down like he traveled along a great wheel.
“Where are we going?” I tried to keep my tone light.
“To get the mail. Even though you and I already know what it says.”
A shiver crept across my shoulders. “What does it say?”
He rolled his eyes and sighed like I was teasing him. “That I’ll be mucking the stalls while you’re off singing Bach arias.”
“Bach arias?” Now that I knew these memories were real, I kinda wanted to know what had happened to my former self.
“Yeah. Off you go to Julliard, leaving me here to listen to Mom and Dad lecture on choosing a solid career, something that will bring in dough for my family. What if I don’t want to have a family? Not everyone is like them, you know. What if—wait a sec.” His hands stopped in midair. “What were we doing before this?”
I shrugged, trying to let him find his own answers. “I really don’t remember.”
He squinted his eyes. “I can’t see the road. The windshield’s all blurry, like some kind of rain or snow.” His face paled. “Or ash.”
“That’s it. He’s remembering this time.” Asteran held out both hands to stop anyone from interfering. “Let him figure it out.”
Even though I knew he was coming back to us, a part of me wondered what would have happen if he’d stayed. Where had past-me gone? Had I really left my brother behind?
Leo blinked, and his hands fell into his lap. “That was some weird shit.” His face had softened. His mouth turned sad. My brother had come back.
“What happened?” Asteran held his gaze like a teacher before his pupil, forcing him to concentrate.
Leo’s gaze traveled beyond the confines of the ship. This time he controlled what his eyes saw. “I was there, back on Old Earth, and I could see everything so clearly: the tree-lined road, the vehicle, the black leather steering wheel.” He laughed. “There was even this little pink rabbit’s foot hanging from the rearview mirror.” He pointed to me. “You were with me.”
“Where were you going?” Nova inched toward him.
“To this little white box at the end of the path. Even though we hadn’t reached it yet, I saw it in my mind. It had a small red flag on the side and a rusted old latch in the front.”
“What was in it?” I tried to see if I could remember anything, but everything before the age of five on the New Dawn was just black space—never mind past lives before that.
“Some sort of written papers.” Leo shrugged. “The funny thing is, we always dream of being back on Old Earth and being able to choose our jobs and our life, but it wasn’t as easy as that. They had to make it happen, you know. Go out there and prove themselves. Whereas here, we’re designated something even if it’s not the job we want. We’re all guaranteed a place.”
Nova shook her head. “I’d still rather prove myself then have the computer assign a task based on test scores.”
I agreed with Nova, but fantasizing about Old Earth wouldn’t do us any good. We needed to stop dreaming of the past and make our futures. Maybe now we’d reached Paradise 21, we could reexamine some of the policies. “How did you know it was a memory?”
Leo squinted. “Everything felt kinda off, like a broken wallscreen where some of the pixels didn’t work. The minute I figured it out, the scene faded, and I came back here.”
“Excellent.” Asteran punched him in the shoulder. “You’ve taken your first step.”
“You mean Lyra didn’t help me get out of it?”
I shook my head, wanting to throw my arms around him with pride. “It was all you.”
“Wow.” Leo leaned back on his hands and smiled smugly. “I feel kinda empowered.”
“You should.” Asteran smiled, and cute little dimples formed in his cheeks. “You have greater powers than I do. All you have to do is learn how to use them.”
My stomach growled and I stood, looking for the backpacks. A weight had lifted from my shoulders, a responsibility that had dictated everything I’d done in my life. Leo wouldn’t need me around anymore. At least not like he used to. We could have a normal relationship. He was no longer my ward, only my stinking little brother who stole my soywafers and left dirty socks in my room.
“This calls for a feast.”
***
“All right, who’s gonna wake up Tauren?” Nova spread all of the food from her backpack on the floor. Apples and oranges twice the size of my fist rolled around.
“Do we have to?” Leo emptied his bag of all his protein bars.
Nova gave him a long, hard look. “Of course we have to. We can’t starve him to death.”
“I’ll do it.” I brought over my pack and stood. I still had to tell Tauren the truth about how I felt. It was never the right time. So, the guilt kept coming, making me feel responsible for him, since I hadn’t severed our tie.
Asteran glanced up as I volunteered, but when I met his gaze, he looked at the food. I wanted to sit by Asteran and hold his hand or throw my arm around him. This was my problem, not his. I couldn’t be with him until I finished it once and for all.
I walked over to Tauren and gently touched his bulging arm. “Tauren, it’s time to wake up.”
“Huh?” He opened his eyes and it seemed to take him a few seconds to realize where we were.
“We’re going to eat something before we land on Cavernia.” A persistent thought tugged at my memory—something about why he’d been on the ship in the first place. He’d just woken up, and bombarding him with accusing questions would only set him off and put him on the defensive.
“Right.” He stood and stretched. “We almost there?”
Asteran studied the red sheen of an apple. “We should reach the arachnids’ planet in a few hours.”
He nodded and joined us on the floor, taking a protein bar and a soybean wafer. “The old man down in the temple, what happened to him?”
Silence fell. Nova stopped chewing, and my meal churned in my stomach. I gave Asteran a sympathetic look. I still hadn’t told him how he’d given me the disc. I wasn’t sure if Telehedron wanted me to. “He decided to stay.”
I thought Tauren would say something about how
stupid that was. Instead, his voice grew soft. “Who was he?”
Asteran swallowed a bite of apple. “He was an elder, one of the oldest people on Priavenus, living almost two hundred years.”
“Why did he have those markings all the way across his face?” Tauren asked the question I’d been wanting to ask but hadn’t had the courage.
Asteran finished the apple all the way to the core and picked out a seed, holding it between his fingertips. “The markings represent growth in terms of life changes and deepening of the soul. Only when we’ve achieved a new level of self-awareness, sacrificed something dear to us, or made a difficult decision, do they grow.”
“So, you paint those on?” Tauren crumpled his wrapper and threw it behind his shoulder.
Asteran dropped the seed in his pocket. “No. They grow of their own accord.”
“That’s pretty cool.” Nova stashed the rest of the food in her backpack. “A way to track your personal accomplishments.”
Asteran’s shoulders fell forward. “Mine haven’t changed in years. Before the arachnids came, my parents thought I’d reached my full potential. I can’t pretend they weren’t disappointed.”
“I think they’re beautiful.” I touched his cheek where a vine-shaped swirl circled around a small star shape.
“I don’t need tattoos to track my personal accomplishments.” Tauren placed his hand over his heart. “They’re right here.”
“And on all your fancy badges.” Nova flicked her finger over his breast pocket. “Can’t forget about those.”
The ship shuddered underneath us, and Asteran turned to the orb. The dark planet, with its prickly surface of stalagmites poking from the hard rock like giant thorns, took up the entire display.
“Oh, man.” Leo clutched his stomach and doubled over.
I checked the wrappers on the floor. “What? Too many soywafers?”
He shook his head adamantly. “No. I just had this awful feeling.”
“Feeling of what?” Nova leaned forward with a demanding glare.
Leo swallowed, as if deciding whether or not to tell us. “That someone is going to die.”
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