by M. Clarke
Looking up, I could see the Ritz-Carlton sign.“Thank you. We’re back at the hotel now. I should hang up.”
“All right, then...dream of me.” His tone came out way too hot.
“I will.” There was no doubt about that.
Chapter 16
Jackson
There had been something off with Rachel’s tone last night. She wasn’t in her usual playful mood. I knew the incident with Chloe had bothered her. Though she hadn’t admitted it, she had delayed talking to me on the phone because of that stupid Facebook picture. This I knew for sure: she would have called me first, and the fact that it took me two messages and two texts for her to finally call me back—that said it all.
“Ready for a fun day, Jace?” I ruffled his hair. Looking through the window in Jace’s room¸ it looked like it was going to be gloomy, but I wasn’t going to let that affect us. We were going to have a fun-filled day.
Jace grabbed the stuffed turtle named Wachel off his shelf. That was what he called it since last year when he couldn’t pronounce Rachel’s name correctly. It had been a while since he held that one. It used to belong to me. When Rachel and I had started dating, I named it Rachel and I also gave her one. She had named hers JC for Jackson Clark.
“Where are we going?”Jace asked.“I need to take Wachel with us.”
“Wachel? I thought you knew how to say her name.”
“I do. But I like calling her Wachel. It reminds me of when we were happy.”
I lowered myself to him and studied him carefully. “What do you mean by that, Jace? You’re not happy?”
He tightened his grip on Wachel. “Rachel isn’t happy.”
“Why would you say that? Did she say something to you?”
Jace looked away from me. His upper lip covered his bottom one. His small dimples deepened. “She didn’t call last night. She promised.”
“Jace.” My tone was a bit stern. “We already talked about that this morning. Sometimes grown-ups can’t keep their promises. Rachel was busy. She didn’t do it on purpose. She said she would call as soon as she could.”
The home phone rang. Jace’s eyes grew wide. I didn’t think it was possible for them to be that big. He stood tall, pulling back his shoulders. I was sure his mind was full of anticipation when his body shook up and down, like he needed to take a piss. “Wachel? I mean Rachel! Answer the phone, Daddy.”
Before it could automatically go to voicemail on the fourth ring, I ran to my room with Jace trailing behind me and clicked it to talk. “Hello.” With my eyes set on Jace, I replied, “Hello, Rachel. Someone is very eager to talk to you.”
“It’s Rachel! It’s Rachel!” Jace tried to grab the phone away from me.
“Jace. Where are your manners?” A part of me would have let him take it, but he’d been testing me lately, and I decided to be strict with him.
Jace curled his hands around Wachel, his chin resting on the head. With puppy eyes, he said, “Sorry, Daddy.”
I ignored him and chatted with Rachel, “What time will you be home tomorrow?”
“We’re leaving early. I should be home about eleven.”
“Great. Have a safe trip home, babe. I’m handing the phone to Jace.”
Just before the phone left my ears, Jace took it from me. “Wachel—I mean Rachel. Hi.” He jumped up and down. His excitement filled me with elation.
“I miss you too,” Jace said. He stayed quiet for a second, listening. “Dad and I are going to go out.” Another silence. “Cool.” He made me laugh every time he said that word. “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye.”
After I took the phone from Jace and said goodbye to Rachel, I hung up. “Feeling better now?”
“Yup. Rachel sounds happy to talk to me. I think she’s happy now.” He nodded like he knew what he was talking about.
“Great. Can we go now?”
“Okie dokie, artichokie.”
I shook my head with a laugh. “Artichokie? Do you even know what that is?”
“Silly, Daddy. You don’t know? The teacher showed us a picture of one. I don’t want to try it. Let’s go.”
“Okie dokie, artichokie,” I said and carried him out the door like he was an airplane.
After we had toured the Children’s Museum and then had lunch, we went to the mall. It was the perfect opportunity to buy Rachel’s birthday present.
“Why are we here? Are we shopping for more toys?” Jace’s eyes lit up as we entered through the double doors. Red and pink hearts were dangling from the ceiling to go along with the Valentine’s theme.
“You don’t think you have enough?” I looked down at my son who refused to hold my hand. He told me big boys didn’t hold their daddies’ hands. God, he was growing up too fast. Next thing I’d know, he wouldn’t want to give me a kiss.
“Enough? You can never have enough. Look how many shirts you have. Your closet is full,” Jace reasoned.
I stopped walking, making him stop too. “When did you get so smart?”
Jace giggled, looking proud. “‘Cause I’m turning five. That makes me smart.”
“Yeah, that would do it.” I snickered. I tried to hold his hand again as we moved ahead, but he yanked it away.
Jace strutted like a suave five-year-old next to me, turning women’s heads. Thinking arrogantly, I knew they were turning their heads for me, and Jace was the added cute bonus. It was certainly not the first time. Everywhere I went women gawked at me. Some even found an excuse to talk to me. The most popular ruse was asking me where the restroom was, and telling me how adorable Jace was and that he looked exactly like me.
I’d been lucky to be born with good looks, height, and body, which had allowed me to have my profession. I knew I made more than Hendrix, but I would never admit that to him. Not that he’d asked. He worked twice the hours, and it was double the stress. As for me, all I had to do was show up and let the photographer take pictures of me. Of course, it had been hard work in the beginning—lots of traveling and odd hours—but it was all worth it. I’d built a creditable reputation, and because of that, jobs came easy for me. I could even turn down the ones that didn’t agree with my schedule, but I couldn’t be too picky.
“We’re here for Rachel. Her birthday isn’t for another month. Since it’s hard to buy something for her without her knowing, today is the perfect day to do it,” I explained.
Jace finally understood. “Let’s buy Rachel a jewelry. Girls like necklaces, earrings, and rings.” Surprisingly, Jace held my hand and led me inside the first jewelry store we encountered. “Dad, look at that turtle necklace.” He pointed to the glass display case. “How much is it? Can I buy that for Rachel?”
“You have money?” I snorted.
“Your money is my money.” He gave me that innocent look and an air of confidence. Damn, he was so cute. Yup, I just melted. And of course, I humored him and agreed.
“Could we take a look?” I asked the saleslady. Her name tag read Misty.
“Sure.” She opened the glass case with her key and set the necklace on a black velvet material. “The chain and the turtle base are white gold, and those are tiny emeralds placed together to make the shell. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
Jace nodded with his eyes beaming. “I like it. Could we get that for Rachel, Dad? Pretty please?”
“Sure. I know she’ll love it.”
Jace narrowed his eyes and his neck twisted in a weird position. “Rachel will like anything we buy for her.”
I chuckled from his expression and his words. He was too smart for his age. “Yes, you’re right.”
After Misty boxed up the gift, we headed home. Instead of waiting for Rachel to call, we called her. We spoke briefly to let her know that we couldn’t wait to see her tomorrow. Shortly after we got home the doorbell rang. Thinking it was the pizza deliveryman, I made sure to have my wallet ready and then looked through the peep hole. What the fuck?
I opened the door. “What are you doing here?” I snapped, keeping
my voice low and ready to slam the door. What the hell was she wearing? Chloe wore jeans and a low-cut T-shirt. I tried not to stare at her breasts, but they screamed “look at me.”
“I was in the neighborhood so I thought I would swing by to see Jace and bring you your favorite wine.” She handed me a wine bottle.
I didn’t even blink as I gave her the coldest evil stare. “We’re busy. Don’t you have any manners? Call before you go over to someone’s house.” I thought if I was rude to her, she would get the hint and leave. I didn’t want Jace to know his mother was there; then I would have no choice but to let her in. It would be extremely difficult to shoo her away after he’d seen her.
She extended her hand out as if she were going to touch me and then dropped it to her side. “Come on, Jax. I’m not just anybody. I’m your son’s mother. Let me see him. We were once a family, you know? I won’t stay that long.”
“Is the pizza man here? I’m hungry.” I heard Jace’s voice.
Shit! My eyes pierced through hers. “You can stay for an hour. That’s it.” With no choice, I opened the door wider. “Jace. Look who it is.” As I turned away from him, I rolled my eyes in annoyance.
“Mom?” Jace stood there, looking perplexed.
Chloe bent down and opened her arms. “Jace. I missed you. Give me a hug.”
Jace looked at me for permission. I gave him half a smile and nodded. He ran into her arms. Just as I was about to close the door, the pizza man came. After I had paid and gave him a tip, I silently cursed while shutting the door. It looked like Chloe would be joining us for dinner. Maybe it was good that she had come. I needed to talk to her anyway.
“Well, look at that. I’m just in time for dinner,” she said, trying to sound surprised.
Chloe took the pizza box from me and placed it on the table. She swayed her ass to the kitchen to get plates as if she lived there. Too busy thinking about what to say to her, and how to approach this sensitive topic, I let her do whatever she was doing. I sucked at this. Where did I begin, especially when Jace was sitting at the dining table eager to eat? It would have to wait.
“Mom is going to eat with us?” Jace’s smile was so wide, any farther and it would have reached his eyes.
“She came just in time.” I furrowed my brows, trying to steady my tone to be less sarcastic.
I placed a slice on Jace’s plate that Chloe had set for him, and helped him take his first bite. The pizza was too hot. I thought he was going to burn his tongue from being famished. Knowing him, he would have just gone for it, instead of testing the temperature first.
A wine glass was placed in front of me and Chloe filled it. With a frown I said, “I didn’t ask for one.”
“Oh, come on, Jax. Afraid of one glass? What do you think will happen? You think I’ll take advantage of you?” She smirked. “I know you can hold your liquor.”
I scowled and helped myself to a slice of pizza and got Jace a cup of milk. Chloe sat across from me and gulped her wine like it was water. Narrowing my eyes at her, I said, “Slow down. Unlike me, you can’t handle your alcohol.”
Her lips twisted in a playful way with her tongue slightly sticking out. I used to love it when she did that, and she knew it. But now, it did nothing for me. I turned away, feeling the weight of her stare on me. Silence filled the air as I finished a slice. Chloe poured wine into her empty glass and filled mine that was still half full. I glared at what she had done, but I didn’t say anything.
“I need to talk to you about boundaries,” I said, looking Chloe in the eye so she could see the seriousness of this topic. I got out of my seat to get the iPad and placed it in front of Jace and put headphones around his ears. “You can watch any show while the grown-ups talk.” He nodded, knowing the routine. I knew he didn’t mind. He got to watch his show.
Chloe took a sip of her wine and placed the glass down. “What about?” She dropped her gaze and concentrated on the wine bottle.
“I’m getting married. And starting today, you’re going to have to try to get along with Rachel if you want to see Jace.” I said it as carefully as I could, but I could already tell she was boiling with anger from the look in her eyes and how her shoulders tensed.
“You’re putting this bullcrap limitation on me? I’m his mother, not Rachel. Did Rachel tell you to say this?” Her face turned slightly pink, not just from the alcohol, but from her anger.
“No,” I snapped. “You took money from me. We had a deal. You can’t just walk back in and act like it didn’t happen. Do I need to get my lawyer involved? Please don’t make me do it. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You already have.” Her tone dropped lower, sounding miserable.
“You did this to us, not me,” I reminded. I didn’t want to go back to the past, and I hated that she had brought it up. This was not how I’d intended our conversation to go.
She exhaled a deep breath and sat back in her chair. “I know. I can’t fix the past, but I can try to fix the future. Don’t you think of me, Jax? Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we’d stayed married? I know you want more children. I would give you a hundred if you wanted. I still have our wedding ring.”
I didn’t want to give her false hope. “No, I don’t think of us, Chloe. Like I said—and I’ll remind you again—I love Rachel. We’re getting married in three months.”
She ignored my words like always. I wanted to knock the truth into her, but I had no idea what she was thinking, especially when she gave me a blank stare.“I’m different. I still might have to travel for work, but when I’m in town, let me see Jace at least once a week. The money is still in the bank. I never spent it. I will give it back to you.”
I scratched the back of my head with confusion. “I don’t know. I need to think about it.”
Jace took a bite of his pizza and laughed out loud, then took off his headphones. “Are you done now? I don’t want to watch this show anymore.”
I took the iPad and placed it away from him so he wouldn’t make a mess on it. “Yes, we’re done. The subject is closed.” That was a hint to Chloe.
“Do you remember when Jace was born?” Chloe asked out of the blue.
Jace and I flashed our eyes at her. “I remember,” he said excitedly.
“You were so tiny, without a brain.” I ruffled his hair with love. “How could you remember?” I snorted.
“You showed me pictures and so did Mom.” Jace looked at her with an awestruck expression.
“She did?” My heart softened. I had to remind myself that Chloe was Jace’s mother and that she did love him in a way only she could. She might not show it well and I knew she would always put herself first over Jace, but at least she did care enough to visit him.
“Yeah. That was when you loved each other. That was when we were a family. That’s what Mom said.”
Chloe cleared her throat, knowing what she’d told Jace was a lie. I was furious with her until I had cradled Jace in my arms. We had tried to make things work for Jace, mostly out of my guilt. When Jace had almost lost his life, was also when we’d found out he was allergic to nuts. I’d made a promise to him that I would never leave his side and that I would try to give him a family.
I had thought I could learn to love Chloe, even if it were just a little bit, and over time it did grow. But that tiny speck of love was not enough to start the flame. It only died out in the end from all the fights. We mostly fought about her jealously and her lack of attention to Jace. We were night and day. The way things were, sooner or later I was going to kill her.
I arched my brows irately. “Did she now? Funny, I remember it differently.” I added sarcasm to my tone.
To make this awkward situation less awkward, Chloe changed the subject, “Remember when Jace said his first word? He said Mum and Da. We were so excited.” She looked lovingly at Jace, like he was the most precious thing. “Then he started speaking so early in full sentences. That’s when I knew he was going to be smart. He spoke his first sentence at eig
hteen months, or something like that. He said, ‘Where is it?’”
“I did?” Jace gloated. “Mom said I was really cute, just like Dad.” Jace shrugged his shoulders sheepishly, but with his chin held up high, his expression told otherwise. “Can I have one more pizza?”
“Wow, Jace. Another one?” I asked, placing pepperoni pizza on his plate.
Jace let out a giggle and lifted his lips into a mischievous grin. “I’m going to be five next Saturday.” He lifted his arm to show his skinny fragile bicep. With his elbow bent, and his fist curled into a ball, he grunted, “I’m going to be a big man.”
We couldn’t help but laugh. It was the first time Chloe and I had laughed together, smiled together, or looked into each other’s eyes with understanding.
Chapter 17
Jackson
After we had finished our dinner, we stayed at the dining table and continued to reminisce about our past: We talked about when we first found out Jace had a peanut allergy, the time he was in the hospital, and when we took him to Disneyland. We agreed there had been many good times, but the bad times, our fights, outweighed the good. For the first time in a long time, Chloe and I spoke without arguing. We were two friends catching up on our past. Maybe we could be friends? I just needed her to get along with Rachel. Realistically thinking, that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, but I had hope.
After having two glasses of wine, I got up and rubbed the back of my neck. “It’s getting late and I need to give Jace a bath.” I was hoping Chloe would take the hint.
She lifted her elbow off the table and sat up straight. “Oh, yeah. Go right ahead. I know where the door is. I’ll clean up and walk myself out.”
“Are you sure? You don’t have to clean up.”
“No, no, no. Jace is getting tired.”
I turned to Jace to see him rubbing his eyes.
“Give me a hug, Jace. I’ll see you next Saturday at your birthday party.”
Jace gave Chloe a hug and walked away looking groggy. Holding my hand, he tugged me to the stairs. I looked at Chloe uncertainly, and wondered if what I was about to say would be a mistake, “All right then. See you next Saturday.” I picked up my sleepy son, kissed his cheek, and carried him upstairs. Right before I was out of Chloe’s sight, I took a peek to see her cleaning up. Maybe she had changed.