Something Precious

by M. Clarke

  I continued to stay there in that position as I let the nightmare soak in. This was fixable, but I had to act fast. Where would she go? My poor Rachel. She must be devastated and broken. All I could do was feel her pain, her anger, and her hatred toward me.

  “Dad?”a tiny voice brought me back to life.“Are you okay?”

  I lifted my head up in shame to see Jace’s concerned face. His hair was disheveled and he was holding the stuffed animal named Wachel. Ever since Rachel had left for New York, he’d insisted on sleeping with that turtle. How was I going to tell him that Rachel was not going to come home tonight? “Come here, buddy, and give me a hug.”

  “Will that make you feel better? I can give you lots of hugs.”He jumped into my arms.“Wachel will give you a hug too.”

  After a few seconds, he pulled away from me.“When is Rachel coming home?”

  I feigned a happy face and said,“Later tonight.”

  “Okay. We should get her a welcome-home cupcake. She likes red velvet cupcakes.”

  “Sure,”I managed to say.“Can you go get ready for me? I need to make some phone calls.”

  “Okay, Dad.”He jumped like he was one of the Ninja Turtles in action and ran off.

  I picked up the phone from the floor and texted Rachel: Hi, babe. Call me. We need to talk. I know you were home this morning, but it’s not what you think.

  How do you explain? It would take a miracle for her to reply back.

  I continued: Please call me. Jace and I miss you. Without waiting for a reply from Rachel, I called Becky.

  Chapter 19

  Rachel

  I drove to the only person that I could count on. It was as if my body and mind knew where to go, because I had no recollection of how I got there. A knock on my car window alerted me to lift my head from the steering wheel. Feeling so drained and broken, I couldn’t move to get out of the car.

  “Becky?” I whispered, feeling tears pooling in my eyes again. I looked so pathetic. Though I didn’t want her to see me this way, she was the only one I could run to. Stacey was in Kauai and my other friends were my coworkers. I couldn’t turn to them.

  “Open the door, Rachel.”

  How did she know I was here? As soon as I pushed the door open¸ my sister grabbed me, locked the door, and led me inside the house. Every movement felt like it was delayed because my mind was processing my actions a step behind.

  “Matthew and Addy are still sleeping. Tell me what happened.”

  Sitting on the sofa, I refused to look at Becky. I knew a river of tears would flow out of me and I wouldn’t be able to stop. “How did you know I was here? How did you know what happened?” I managed to croak out.

  Becky cleared her throat as if what she was going to tell me would sting me. “Jax called me.”

  I showed her no emotions and I gave her no words.

  “Say something, Rachel. Tell me what happened. You can’t hide this inside you. I’ve been there before. It’s going to kill you.”

  That’s when I looked at her. Tears I had dared not shed came pouring down for two reasons. One was for me, and the second reason was for her. When Becky went to college, we had drifted apart. I was still doing the homecoming and prom thing, where as she was experiencing grown-up dating. And to know that she had experienced this much pain too, I felt horrible that I hadn’t been there for her. But I couldn’t think of that right now.

  “I found—” I heaved a breath. “I found him and her in our bed together.” I couldn’t say their names. It hurt too much.

  “Oh, sweetie.” Becky pulled me into her arms, and that’s when I lost it even more. After a minute or so, I backed away and wiped my eyes. Then I remembered what she’d said. “He called you? Why? What could he possibly tell you?”

  “Rachel.” She said my name like she was going to give me a life lesson, the way Mom used to do. “You know there are always two sides to the story, right? I know it doesn’t look good, but Jax told me a different story.”

  “So you’re on his side? How could you listen to him?” I spat, feeling my pulse race to another level of intensity.

  “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I’m on your side. But you need to listen. Okay? After I tell you his side of the story, then you can make up your mind what to do. That is not my choice, but yours.”

  As much as I didn’t want to hear the details, and I cringed at the thought of hearing their names, I nodded. Becky told me everything: Chloe had come over unannounced. She stayed for dinner. They talked. She got wasted while Jax gave Jace a bath. She spent the night in the guest room. Then he found her in their bed in the morning. Nothing happened. Nothing would ever happen. He would do anything to make things right.

  I felt a little better, but it didn’t take away the shock and hurt I’d felt that morning—that still lingered with me. The damage had already been done. After all my frustration, resentment, and concern about Chloe, Jax had done very little about it. I let my anger drive me. I couldn’t help it.

  Becky blinked and examined me up close. “You do believe him, don’t you?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I said coolly.

  “What?” Becky’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened. “What do you mean? ‘It doesn’t matter?’ Of course it matters. Jax didn’t cheat on you. Did you hear a word I said?”

  I grabbed one of her expensive sofa pillows and hugged it. “I heard you. But it doesn’t change the fact that Chloe will always be a part of him. Who knows what she’d do next?”

  With her lips pressed together and her eyes practically out of their sockets, Becky asked, “You’re going to let her win? You’re going to let that bitch ruin your life and Jax’s and Jace’s? And what about Jace? His birthday is next Saturday. You’re the one that planned it.”

  Becky saying Jace’s name made the ache deeper. I ran my hand down my face and told myself as much as I hated myself for hurting a little child, I had to do what was right for me. In the long run, things would turn out the best for him. He had his biological mother and father that loved him. He didn’t need me. “He’ll move on. He’ll forget about me. Don’t worry, I’ll send Jax an email, giving him all the details.”

  Becky arched her brows and leaned back into the sofa. “I know you’re hurt, but please don’t jump to any conclusions or do anything you’ll regret. Give yourself time to really think. You still have time to decide if you want this marriage.”

  “You know what, Becky? I left Greg so I could date around with no strings attached, remember? And what did I do in Kauai? Jump right back into a relationship. I moved in with him and even became a mother, all in one shot. I got more than I had planned for.”

  “So, you’re telling me you want to leave Jax, clearly the only guy you have ever truly loved, the one you can’t live without, and start dating other guys? Are you crazy? Yes, I told you to date around, but you were lucky to find that special person. When you find that special someone, you don’t let go. You jump in. You fight for him. Love doesn’t happen when you want it to happen. It happens when it was meant to be. Your paths crossed when you least expected it. That’s the beauty of love.”

  “What if my feelings for Jax are not really love?” I thought about Jonah. Not that I was going to call him or try to hook up with him. His face came to mind out of the blue. Would I have thought about him if I truly loved Jax? Could it be possible that Jonah came to my mind because I was trying to get back at Jax for not getting Chloe out of our lives? Maybe the anger had been building, and I had no idea until now, when I was about to explode. And what bothered me the most was that Chloe kept showing up and meddling in our lives, and Jax didn’t do anything to stop her. He had a beautiful heart, there was no doubt about that, but he’d let Chloe back into our world. She had knocked but he had opened the door, and it became wider with every knock that came after.

  Becky let out a sigh, her arms stretched out on the top of the sofa. “Oh my God! You are serious? What has been going on lately?”

  “I need to kno
w if what I feel for Jax is really love and not just lust.”

  Becky looked like she wanted to shake some sense into me from the way she laced her hair back through her fingers and looked away for a second. “You can’t define love. It finds you, breaks you, and molds you, until you absolutely can’t live without it. Again, you’re hurt right now and your initial hurt emotions are eating at you, and it looks like you have issues that have been building up. Please take my advice and let everything settle. You’re going to have to talk to Jax soon. Don’t wait too long.”

  I nodded. This was one thing I couldn’t run away from or make go away, or even have my big sister fix for me.

  “You must be starving.” Becky stood up and gave me her hand. “Come with me to the kitchen. Let me get you some coffee and cook you something to eat.”

  I followed Becky to the kitchen, which reminded me of my kitchen. Then I wondered what Jax and Jace were doing, and I wondered what Jax had told Jace about me. What would he tell him when I didn’t go home tonight? Tears welled in my eyes again, but I refused to cry. Couples went through problems all the time. If Jax and I made it out of this, we would be stronger, and I would know it was meant to be.

  Right now, I had to try to mend my wounded heart just enough so that I could speak to Jax with a clear mind, but it didn’t help that the image of Chloe naked in bed with Jax was burned into my head. I kept on seeing that image over and over again, no matter what I did or how many hours passed. It was as if it was tattooed on my eyes. And no matter how hard I tried to see Jax’s point of view, I couldn’t.

  Jackson

  “Daddy? Why are you still on the floor?”Jace shook me by the shoulder. I felt my body shake, but it didn’t feel like my own. In fact, I felt lost and confused, like I couldn’t tell if it was real or a dream.

  After I’d told Becky my side of the story, I didn’t know if she had believed me. She’d sounded like she did, but who knew? I hoped she could convince Rachel to talk to me. That was all I asked, for her to hear me out. I knew there was a huge possibility that she wouldn’t call me today, but I could still hope.

  “Sorry, buddy. I kind of don’t feel good. Give me a second and I promise I’ll take you to get cupcakes, okay?”

  “Okay, Dad. I think you need one too.”

  I pulled myself up, feeling the weight of my Rachel pushing me down as though she was leaving me. For Jace’s sake, I had to mimic a happy face. After I showered and got dressed, I turned to look at my bed where Chloe had lain. The image of her in my bed naked made me want to throw up and burn the sheets—NO—I wanted to burn the bed. With a heavy sigh, I looked at my phone. No text or call from Rachel. Would she call to talk to Jace? Come on Rachel, talk to me, baby. When I could no longer stare at my phone because of my building frustration, I took Jace to the cupcake store.

  Jackson

  “When is Rachel coming?” Jace had asked me countless times after dinner. I’d told him that Rachel was delayed and might be back tomorrow. I didn’t know what else to tell him. I was hoping Rachel would call him, but she hadn’t so far. Wanting to give her the benefit of the doubt that she cared enough for Jace to contact him, I waited as long as I could. Then the text came.

  Seeing her text tore my heart out. Come home, baby, I whispered to myself, staring at the phone as if I could touch her and feeling the weight of wanting her to be home. I had to be patient and give her time to soak in what had happened. Seeing Chloe and I in bed together with her own eyes was one thing you couldn’t just wipe away. I could imagine Rachel seeing the hurtful image over and over again, just like I was. The image of something I wished had never taken place.

  I would like to talk to Jace, but I want him to call me. I can’t talk to you right now.

  Her text felt like a slap in my face, but I deserved it. I would obey her wish.

  Okay.

  “Jace. Rachel wants to talk to you.” I handed him the phone after I had dialed. We were sitting on the sofa watching an episode of his favorite program.

  “Rachel,” Jace said excitedly. “Why aren’t you here? When are you coming home?”

  Silence.

  “What do you mean you don’t know?” Jace frowned. “What about my birthday party? Will you try to be there?”

  Long stretch of silence. I tried to hear what she was saying, but Jace wouldn’t let me. I even thought about putting her on speakerphone, but then she would know.

  “Okay. I miss you too. Do you want to talk to Dad?”

  Short silence.

  “Bye and goodnight.” Jace handed me the phone. He looked deep in thought. “Rachel isn’t coming back, is she?”

  I blinked in surprise at his words. “What do you mean? Of course she is.” I bit my tongue from lying, but how I wished it were true.

  Jace crossed his legs and arms. “You made her mad. I could tell from her voice. Something is wrong. It’s because Mom was here, right? I know she doesn’t like it.”

  I gave this kid too little credit. He was almost five, but he was so observant for his age that it scared me. I couldn’t hide anything from him anymore, not the way I used to. He was not just physically growing, his mind was too, and I couldn’t forget his increase in vocabulary as well as the ability to express himself and speak his mind.

  Poor Jace had to grow up too fast after being tossed between two immature parents, then finally settling down to what I was hoping to give him. But now I would have to crush his heart again. Now, I didn’t know if that dream family would become a reality. Being a parent was utterly terrifying, but knowing I had Rachel and Rachel had me, I had wanted to have another child and make us a permanent family. Not that you needed a second child to be a family, but Jace needed someone the way I had Hendrix. Speaking of Hendrix, he was going to kill me, or Chloe.

  “How do you know Rachel doesn’t like Mom?”I challenged.

  “She didn’t tell me. But I could tell. I don’t like this kid in my class, and I have the same face as Rachel when she sees Mom.”

  I scratched my head, pondering his ability to observe what some adults couldn’t.“How do you feel about that? You love both Rachel and Mom, right?”

  “Yes, but I don’t remember loving Mom. I remember loving Rachel. Rachel is nice to me. She takes me where I want to go, but with Mom, she takes me where she wants to go.”

  I furrowed my brows, knowing Jace was right. “Well, what do you think we should do?”I couldn’t believe I was asking him like he was my therapist or the other half of my brain. But sometimes kids had better solutions than adults. They could see problems in less complicated ways.

  “Maybe, Mom shouldn’t come to our house. Maybe I should go see her at her place. Then Rachel doesn’t have to see Mom.”

  Sounded very simple, and was what I’d tried to do. Knowing Chloe, she would find a way to break our rules, try to stir up problems—exactly what she had done. I should have put my foot down and not let her in, no matter what the reason was. “I should’ve asked you what to do before, Jace. Then we wouldn’t be in this mess.”I played along with his advice.“It’s time to get ready for bed. You’re okay going to daycare a little later? I have a late start tomorrow.”

  Jace slid off the sofa and tugged at my arm.“Come on. Let’s go.”

  “Wait. What did Rachel tell you? Did she say she’d be able to make it to your birthday party?”

  “She said she would try her best.”

  “What else did she say?”I was so damn curious that I just might force him to stand there all night and get everything out of him.

  “That she loved me and missed me.”

  “What else? Did she say when she was coming home?”

  “No.”

  “But I heard you ask her that question. Did she not answer you?”

  “You’re asking me too many questions. I can’t remember what she said,”he huffed.

  “Sorry,”I muttered under my breath and stood up.

  Jace kept tugging my arm, silently telling me I wasn’t moving fast en
ough, until we reached the stairs.

  “Why do you want to go to bed so bad? You’re always fighting me when it’s bedtime.”

  Jace climbed several steps before he looked over his shoulder at me.“Because Rachel said she would come visit me tomorrow at daycare.”He stopped for a second. His eyes fixated on the wall in deep thought.“How could she come see me if she’s in New York?”

  “I don’t know.”I played it off as if a thought had occurred to me. I would stop by Rachel’s office.“We’ll just have to wait and see what happens.”I had no idea what I was saying. I was trying to make us feel better, and a little part of me did. Knowing Rachel cared enough to visit Jace to make him happy made me smile, and a little hope started to grow inside me. “Last one up the stairs is a rotten egg.”

  Jace screamed as he booked it up the stairs as fast as his little legs could carry him.“I don’t want to be a rotten egg.”

  Chapter 20

  Rachel

  It felt so strange waking up in Becky’s guest room. My face was damp from crying throughout the night. After speaking to Jace, my heart couldn’t take it anymore. The pain had swallowed me up. I had tried to put up a good front, but I had almost lost it, and I wasn’t sure if Jace had heard my choked-up tone.

  It was six in the morning and since I couldn’t sleep, I got ready for work. Luckily, I had my suitcase with a few days’ worth of clothes, and Becky had told me I could borrow anything from her closet. Since she was a literary agent and worked from home, there wasn’t much I could borrow except for her dresses. Matthew had told me that he rearranged my schedule with another photographer so that I would have an easy load today. He added that he would see to it that I never had to shoot Chloe again.