by Ella Fields
I was sure she could apply it in her sleep.
I pursed my lips, not bothering with an apology. I was too pissed off. Unfamiliar yet not entirely surprised by the piercing sensation leaking poison inside my chest, I stormed to a table in the deepest corner to sulk alone.
I never did catch Jude.
I saw him. Oh, I saw him plenty and did my best to glare at him until he could feel the heat of it trying to scorch holes into the back of his head. Every time, he was unaware and on his way to somewhere that obviously didn’t involve me.
The porn rumor didn’t stand on its legs too long as the denizens of Peridot Academy were used to hearing much more sordid and juicy tales. By lunchtime, people were discussing who’d blocked who on social media and what they were drinking, smoking, or snorting tonight.
“Remember that time Romeo Breen got caught screwing around with his girlfriend’s mom?”
In the passenger seat and flicking through her phone, Cory laughed. “Yes.” She hummed. “What happened to him?”
“He graduated last year, I think.” I clicked the button to lower the volume of the music a little. “Didn’t they still go to prom together, though?”
“They totally did,” Cory said. “Bianca didn’t come back, though. Pretty sure she transferred.”
I wondered where she went. Perhaps the public school. I was sure I’d see her again if she planned on attending Ardent Falls University. The only one on the island.
Ardent Falls wasn’t exactly on the island per se but attached to it by a drawbridge. Ardent Falls Isle.
“What brought that up?”
“Just thinking about the stupid porn rumor Jude tried to get going.”
“Oh, it got going,” Cory said with a snort that made me reach out and smack her arm. “Sorry.” She laughed. “You’re right, though. It’s no Bianca and Romeo, so it’s already dead.”
Satisfaction filled me if only for a mere minute. I slowed when we turned the crest, heading back down the cliff to the other beachside homes around the bend from mine. As I leaned forward a little, the cars parked on either side of the road up ahead came into view.
Melanie’s parents must have been way stricter about people parking on their lawn than Gina’s. Not that most parents wanted their kids to party in their home, but most were hardly here, so party they would.
I pulled over behind a black SUV and killed the ignition. “How do you even know he’s here?”
“There’s nowhere else he’d be. This is the only party tonight.”
We’d already driven past Silas’s house. His truck hadn’t been there, and we weren’t about to ask his parents where he might be.
“So he for real didn’t tell you what he was doing tonight?”
“Nothing,” she said with a resigned breath. “I’ve barely heard from him.”
Yikes, and nor had she seen much of him, hence the wild goose chase.
We got out and checked the road before darting across it to the two-story white and blue Hamptons-style home. The thud of the bass coming from inside bounced through the open windows and down the long drive to greet us. The land was slim, narrow, and the front door was situated on the side of the house.
We climbed the steep flight of stairs, and I gripped the railing as gross images of someone falling on account of being too wasted and breaking their neck entered my mind.
I shook it off with a shiver and replaced it with picturesque, if not somewhat evil, bottle-green eyes.
No one stood guard at the door. It was almost nine, which meant people were too busy and loaded to care who showed up and whether they’d been invited or not.
Bodies bounced and drifted around the living room by the foyer. Girls were dancing with guys I’d never seen before, and other girls, one I recognized from physics, were sprawled over the leather sectional with two guys from the swim team.
I wondered, yet ultimately doubted, if Jude would be here.
It seemed too cozy, too social for his taste. No, my dark and damaged prince preferred solitude or giant crowds, the latter so he could roam and hide away as he so wished.
After trying to search the downstairs living areas, kitchen, and bathroom to no avail, we looked at one another and nodded. It was highly likely if Silas was here that we’d miss him if he was moving around.
“I’ll take upstairs,” I said.
“Meet outside in ten minutes, or,” Cory said, waving her phone, “call me.”
I double-checked I hadn’t left my phone in the car, relieved to feel its weight in the back pocket of my jeans. In skinny whitewashed jeans with tears in the thighs and a black Arctic Monkeys T-shirt, I was so totally not dressed for the occasion. Thankfully, I’d made the last-minute decision to don my heeled boots and ditch the Vans I’d almost walked out of the house in.
My hair was down, but it was a crazy half-dried mess of spiraling red curls, and my face was bare of mascara and lipstick.
For once, I was hoping I didn’t run into my private lover slash public tormentor.
And so, of course, that was exactly what fate would serve me.
After checking each room upstairs, most of them locked, and the half library, half theater room, I only had the bathroom left to glimpse before I waded back downstairs.
I twisted the handle—another locked door.
About to turn away and narrowly dodging a flying throw pillow aimed at a ducking dude, I froze.
“Jude.” His name was giggled. A giggle I knew had to belong to Marnie.
Call me a glutton for punishment, but I stalled for too long, trying to decide if I wanted to know what they were doing behind that locked door, and if I wanted him to see me.
Right as the door swung open, I decided none of the above. “Wait,” Marnie said to him.
Stepping back, I sucked in a breath and held it, not entirely sure why. I heard Jude grumble something, and I inched forward, unable to see anything but a blue-tiled shower with a giant circular head.
Jumping to the other side of the door, I peered inside.
Jude was pressing Marnie up against the vanity between the twin basins, her legs around his waist, her hands under and lifting his dark blue T-shirt. Kissing her. He was kissing her.
Rage curled my fingers into my palms and ignited a wildfire inside my heart.
Was he just another guy playing around, seeing how far he could take things with as many girls as he could for as long as he could?
But as far as I was aware, I was the only one besides Marnie he’d been messing around with. And I prayed to every god out there that he hadn’t been messing around with her the way he had been with me.
My stomach sank to my toes when I realized I was even more of an idiot than I already knew I was.
Of course, he’d fool around with her, too. She was his, and he was hers, and I was merely something fun to punish for getting in the way of the future prom king and queen of Peridot Academy.
Another giggle followed by a muffled, drawn-out moan.
I should move. I should’ve definitely fucking moved.
But that was hard to accomplish while shattering on the spot. I feared the second I walked away, I’d leave pieces of myself behind, and I couldn’t return for something that might no longer fit.
My throbbing chest and closed eyes made the decision for me. I moved farther around the corner and waited for them to leave.
Ten bruising heartbeats later, Marnie did without a backward glance, tugging at her short lilac dress and dragging her hands through her shoulder-length hair.
She went downstairs. She didn’t even wait for him.
Who the hell left Jude Delouxe behind without so much as looking back?
I might have been an idiot, but she was a fucking dumbass.
“Nice shirt.”
He’d snuck up on me, but I kept staring at the stairs a moment before giving him my makeup-free eyes, wishing I’d bailed when I had the chance. “Like them?”
His sharp gaze dropped to my chest. “I like them a lot less n
ow that they’ve been introduced to those glorious tits.”
I wasn’t sure if that was some ass-backward compliment or just a straight-up insult. Probably both.
His eyes floated around the hall, and then he stepped back inside the bathroom.
I knew he wanted me to follow, and I knew I shouldn’t, but of course, I did.
“You’re not going to follow her?” I had no idea why I’d asked. I didn’t want to know.
He pushed the door closed behind me and backed me into it as he flicked the lock. “Watched any porn lately?”
“Just the video of me sucking you off for the first time.” His eyes flared wide, then narrowed with what might have been disappointment when I tacked on, “Kidding, I didn’t even have my phone with me.”
Huffing, he murmured, “Shame.”
“Why? Would you have shared that with the entire school too?”
“Absolutely not.” His finger stole and gathered one of my curls. He lifted it to his nose and inhaled. “Some things are far too good to share.”
“You confuse me so much.”
“Don’t care.” He tutted. “You saw my brother.”
Thrown, it took me a moment to keep up. “Uh, well, he woke up crying when I was leaving.”
A hard edge saturated his every feature and voice. “Stay away from him.”
I didn’t know what Henry had told him, but I was beginning to think Jude was more insane than me. “I didn’t do—”
“You won’t use him as a way to get to me. You will never have me, so don’t upset the kid by getting him used to a presence that won’t end up staying.”
Ouch, and what? “Jude…” I cleared my throat and pushed off the door. “Never mind, I’m going.”
He braced his hands on either side of my head and chuckled. “Already? Am I not what you were searching for?” I wanted to curl into a ball and hope this was just a nightmare. “Red? Open your eyes.”
I hadn’t realized I’d closed them. I blinked, shaking my head. “I need to find Silas.”
“Silas?” he repeated.
“His girlfriend is looking for him, and I drove her here to help.”
If the knowledge that I hadn’t actually come here for him damaged that gigantic ego of his, I couldn’t tell. When I looked up at him, his expression of bored amusement didn’t falter. “So, if you’ll excuse me.” I forced a smile I knew he could tell was fake. “Cory is probably wondering where I am.”
“No,” he said.
“No?”
“You’re not excused.” He dropped his arms and came too close, always too close. As if he knew doing so would drug me and make me his fool. “Are you trying to suggest you haven’t missed me?”
I swallowed, the sound loud between us.
“Answer me.”
“Yes.”
He cupped the side of my face, his body meeting mine. Too much, I thought. Too much heat and tension. His scent, his eyes, his voice, his entire self. Too much, and so much that I knew I’d only be leaving this bathroom with more regret.
“Do you still want me, Red?”
“Yes,” I said, but no sound came out, so I said it again. “Yes, I do.”
His mouth twitched, his voice reaching inside me to set everything aflame. “What is another taste of my lips worth to you?”
“Anything,” I admitted. “Everything.”
“Prove it,” he said, husky and wild-eyed, his pointer finger rubbing across my bottom lip.
I could smell something musky, and I figured out why with a jolt to my stomach that made it churn when he rasped, “Suck.”
My lips wrapped around his finger, a salty flavor flooding my taste buds. It was then I knew he hadn’t just been kissing Marnie. Not while inside this very bathroom with her.
I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to bite his finger until it bled in the same way my heart was—the ever-present drip now a steady stream.
But I did none of those things. Steeling my spine, I held his eyes for seconds that stung every corner of my heart and eyes.
“How does she taste?”
I pulled back, disgusted and breathless. “You tell me. It’s your girlfriend.”
“Ex,” he stated with a flash of his teeth. “Ex, and yeah, she tastes good.” I blinked back tears, and then I tried to get away from him, from his heat and the ice to his voice and words.
Before I could step around him to leave, he grabbed my waist and hauled me flush with his body. His other hand sank into my hair, holding the back of my head as his sin-soaked lips lowered to mine. “She really fucking does, but I know that nothing,” our mouths touched, skin whispering, “nothing tastes as addictive as you, Red.”
As if he’d thrown a net around me, I was caught, stuck, and I didn’t want to be freed.
My hands tore at his sides, pulling at his shirt, and my mouth slammed over his. Every wound he’d given me was handed over in a kiss that was all teeth and tongue and panted breaths.
“You’re so cruel,” I breathed, hating him while clutching him to me.
“You really think I didn’t see you there? Feel you watching me?” He chuckled. So dark, I shivered. Teeth dragged over my cheek to nip my ear. “I saw you walk by, and that right there sealed the deal.” My head tilted as his lips closed around my earlobe. “So I shoved my fingers in her cunt. Two of them.”
“Stop it,” I pleaded, too soft. “Please.”
“No,” he clipped, his forehead resting upon mine. “Never try to corner a wolf, Little Red.” Our noses brushed. “We’ll attack every fucking time.”
Then I was freezing, my hands curling around thin air when he retreated.
“Cory won’t find her guy here,” he said, walking out the door.
I left the bathroom, knowing not to bother looking for him. He was gone.
I found Cory outside on the porch. I’d missed at least two calls from her judging by the vibrating of my phone while I’d been in the bathroom. “Hey, sorry. Nothing.” I was tempted to tell her what Jude said, that she wouldn’t find him here, but then I’d need to tell her I’d had yet another run-in with tall, dark, and sinister, and no, it hadn’t gone well.
I wanted to steal the beer from a passing guy’s hand and wash my mouth out with it, but alas, I had to drive.
“Ugh,” she said, dragging her hand through her hair. “Where the hell is he?”
I jerked my head to the stairs, and when we reached the end of the drive where no one but the crickets and a frog or two could hear us, I told her. I kept the more embarrassing details to myself. The details that filled me with a shame so hot, I wanted to combust.
“So Jude said there was no way he was here after making out with you?”
“Basically.” I shoved my hands into my back pockets, wincing when I jabbed a finger too hard on the case of my phone. “Yup.”
We crossed the road to my car, and I felt her eyes on me, but I concentrated on getting in and starting the engine.
“Are you hiding something, Fern?”
I glanced into the side mirror, then pulled out. “Someone is, but unfortunately, I don’t think it’s me we need to worry about.”
Jude
“Fingers, dude,” I told Henry, demonstrating with my own. “Pay attention.”
He nodded, and I tossed the ball to him again. He almost had it this time and shouted as it slipped between his hands and bounced between his feet before rolling away.
I heard tires crunching over the rocks through the hedge. We were playing out the front, the driveway the only place undotted by trees in a long stretch.
A car door closed, and then a ball smacked me in the shoulder.
“Hen, what the fuck?”
He was holding his stomach, doubled over in hysterics. “Pay attention, Jude. Pay attention!” He cackled some more, and I smiled, the sound music to my fucking ears. “Swear jar.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I waved him off, then grabbed the ball and tossed it.
Again, he missed. But he was neve
r going to catch it. My aim was impeccable.
Henry watched, scowling at the sky as the ball sailed over the hedge and bounced off the hood of Fern’s Range Rover. It would leave a scratch at best, thanks to the distance, but I was hoping it was enough to rile her up.
She was ignoring me.
Which was fine. I was ignoring her, too. As per fucking usual.
Two weeks. Two weeks since her lips had last devoured mine. Two weeks since I’d seen those dusky blue eyes cloud with desperate hunger. Two weeks since I’d seen her in those lucky as hell jeans and a band T-shirt. Two weeks since I’d had her gentle, eager fingers exploring any slice of myself I gave her.
Two weeks since I’d seen her smile.
On the bright side, Marnie had asked if we could go out on a date like we were fucking fourteen again or some bullshit. I’d humored her and had taken her out to her favorite French restaurant down by the docks.
The following Monday, I’d found myself standing in the middle of the doorway after AP English, knowing Fern would need to touch me to get past.
Oh, she had, and with that insane ass of hers, too.
A snub. That’s what it had been. She’d just turned and slid right on by, giving me a sly little “fuck you” on her way.
It’d pissed me off so much that I didn’t even look at her for the remainder of the week.
Then on Wednesday, I’d found my car parked next to hers, so I’d lingered a little too long after school. Whatever it was I’d been trying to achieve had been blocked by Marnie, who’d spotted me and raced over, yammering on about our dinner and how she wanted to do it again this weekend.
So we had, but I hadn’t been able to bring myself to go inside when I’d dropped her home.
Instead, we’d made out in the back of my car, and I almost blew my load in my jeans when I remembered strawberries and shy smiles, fumbling touches and murmured admissions.
It hadn’t happened, thankfully. For although I’d taught her everything she knew—we’d taught each other—Marnie was a selfish lover. Realizing I wasn’t going to make her come, she’d climbed out and flipped me off, muttering about this reconciliation being a waste of time.
Henry looked from the hedge to me, then back again, scratching his head. “Uh, want me to go ring their buzzer and get it back?”