She hadn't known if it would help, but when she'd quit before he fell asleep, he'd muttered, "Don't stop," and so she'd started again.
When at last he had gone to sleep, she'd slipped out of the room to her own. But not before she'd stood and looked at him, traced his features, softened only slightly by sleep, and remembered the feel of his lips on hers.
The feel—the passion—she would do her damnedest to transfer to another man. A safer man.
The memory of Nikos—well, she just wanted that for herself.
Now she waited until he finished talking to Brian, then she said, "I'll turn in my notice."
He frowned. "What? Why?"
"You obviously don't need 'shaping up.' And I..." She didn't think there was any way she could tell him the rest.
In any case, he didn't give her the chance. He said, "No."
"What do you mean, no? That's what you've wanted all along! To get rid of me, to turn your back on your father—"
"I still don't give a damn about my father," he said. "But I don't want you to go."
Her foolish heart leapt for just a moment. Then she steeled herself against any such feelings. "Why?"
"Because I could use your help for one thing. Brian and I have been working on designs for a shipper. It's a big contract. Not just in terms of money, but in terms of reputation. For the company, not me. I'm a pretty silent partner. Brian deals with the customers, does the on-site stuff, and I stay at home, take the specs he gives me and work on the actual design. Some people are easier to please than others. Some people let you do it your way as long as you give them what they want. The guy we're working with now has a mind of his own. And he changes it frequently as you've seen," Nikos added grimly. "I've been trying to accommodate all his suggestions and all the things he says he needs. And every ■me I get them figured out, they change again. That's why all the phone calls. We've got other customers, too, though. Other designs that need to be worked on. And I don't have time to field all Brian's calls and read him stuff when I should be working on other projects. Anyone can read him the stuff I've come up with."
"Me," Mari translated, trying not to feel deflated. After all, she didn't want him to want her, did she?
Nikos nodded. "Yes. Can you type?"
"Of course."
"Even better."
"But—" Mari shook her head. "I work for your father."
"So go right ahead. Look." Nikos leaned forward earnestly. "He tricked you into this, right? I don't know what he did to make you stay, but he must have done something so that you couldn't—or wouldn't—walk the minute you realized you weren't dealing with a four-year-old. Right again?" He waited for her reluctant nod. "So, fine. You stay, you're fulfilling your obligation to him."
"I'm not teach—"
"Not teaching me respect?" His gaze narrowed. "I have a lot of respect for people who earn it, Mari Lewis."
Yes, she supposed he did.
"It wouldn't be honest."
"There's nothing to stop you trying to teach me to respect him," Nikos pointed out, though his smile told her it was damned unlikely that her efforts would bear fruit. 'I'll pay you."
"I'm already being paid. I can't take your money."
"Give the old man his back when we're done."
"And when would that be?"
"When I get my cast off I'm leaving. I told you that. I'll go to Cornwall where Brian is. That's where we build—in a shipyard in Falmouth. Then Brian will be able to get at me in a zone where it's daytime for both of us."
"A few days, in other words?" Was she terrible to be considering it? Did she have any real choice?
Nikos dipped his dark head. "As you say. A few days."
"And you won't...you won't..." Instinctively and unintentionally she pressed her hand against her mouth again. She could remember the touch of his mouth as if it had just been there.
"Kiss you?" Nikos finished for her. "Only if you want me to." A hint of the wickedest grin in the world touched his mouth. Then, quite suddenly, it faded and the look on his face became serious. "Do you want me to?"
She shook her head vehemently, then abruptly she stopped at the realization that there was one part of her that did want him doing it again.
Honesty, she always told the children she cared for, was the best policy. For the first time she really doubted that. But the habit was deeply ingrained. "I liked it when you kissed me," she admitted, not looking at him. "And I liked kissing you, but—"
"But kissing for you has to do with love and marriage and commitment?" He said the words almost harshly.
Mari nodded. She slanted a glance in his direction. The look on his face was unreadable. His dark eyes were hooded. One of his fists was white-knuckled as he gripped a handful of the sheet.
"It doesn't mean that for me," he told her.
"It could—" Oh, heavens! What was she saying?
He shook his head. "No. I won't let it. I don't want it'
And she did.
A comer of Nikos's mouth lifted in rueful acknowledgement of their quandary. Then he pressed his lips together. "I have, despite what the tabloids might say, a certain amount of self-control. And I really could use your help until I get this cast off. If you change your mind," he added hopefully, "you feel free to tell me. But if that's the way you want it, Mari Lewis, I won't be kissing you again."
CHAPTER SIX
So she stayed.
And if her conscience bothered her whenever Stavros rang up to demand a report, she took solace in the fact that she could tell him quite honestly that she and Nikos were getting along, that he was talking to her, that they seemed to be on the same wavelength.
This last might have been stretching it a bit. But over the next three days she really did find herself getting attuned to Nikos's work habits and thought patterns.
Maybe it was an instinctive rapport that grew up between them because she had grown up sailing boats, too. She didn't know the first thing about tankage and impact resistance, and some kind of density or other that seemed to be giving him headaches figuratively as well as literally, but these were boats he was talking about, figuring about, worrying about—even in the abstract—and as such she was interested.
Or maybe she was just interested in him.
She discounted that, of course. She didn't want to think about the chemistry that existed between herself and Nikos Costanides! If he could put it aside for the best interests of his business, so could she!
That's what she told herself. For the most part, that's what she did.
But the awareness was still there.
Sometimes, to get away from it, she would leave him working and go up to the pool and swim or play with Alexander and talk to Julietta, who was seven months into a difficult pregnancy and was happy to have someone else to talk to and to chase Alexander around.
She did her best to avoid Stavros. For all his obtuseness when it came to dealing with his son, he was surprisingly astute in other ways. She thought he might well manage to worm some hint of Nikos's occupation out of her. Especially because she would have really liked to tell him.
"I don't see why you won't tell him," she said to Nikos more than once. "It would make all the difference."
"Yes," Nikos agreed drily, "it would."
Which, she understood from the silence that followed, was exactly why he wasn't. It was a matter of pride. And if Stavros was a proud, stubborn man, Nikos had more pride than anyone she knew.
So Mari didn't say a word. Even though she was working for Stavros, her allegiance was to his son. It would have been that way even if Nikos were really four years old. Though the parent footed the bills, a nanny's first commitment was to the child.
Even if the child was thirty-two!
They worked well together. That was the good news. The bad news, as far as Mari was concerned, was that, now that he felt no need to hide his career from her, she liked him even more.
She saw the serious, dedicated side of Nikos Costanides that h
e kept well hidden from his father and die rest of the world. She saw the way he tackled the problems Brian called with and spent hours, literally, working them out, trying first one thing and then another. He was dedicated, tenacious, determined.
Everything she admired in a man.
Except that he wanted nothing to do with commitment. And therefore, realistically, he wanted nothing to do with her.
That didn't stop him looking at her, though. It didn't stop the leisurely wander of his gaze when they were working together. It didn't stop him licking his lips sometimes or sighing and shaking his head.
She knew what he was thinking!
If the truth was known, she was thinking it, too!
But she had to resist. Getting involved with Nikos Costanides would be a one-way trip to misery. He didn't want what she wanted. He wanted to make love, not really love.
And so sometimes, when the wanting got too obvious and her own good intentions got particularly feeble, she took herself off to the pool.
The breeze off the ocean kept things cool most of the day, and the water kept Alexander occupied when he didn't have a friend over to play.
Mari thought Julietta could have used some help at this point in her pregnancy. But Julietta was as stubborn as the rest of the Costanides family. "Angelika raised Nikos by herself," she'd told Mari early in their acquaintance. "Stavros thought it was a good thing."
Mari was surprised that Julietta, and Stavros for that matter, measured the way to raise a child by the way Nikos had been raised, but she had merely nodded and smiled. "Well, if you ever need a little rest, give me a call," she'd said. "I'm sure Nikos won't mind sparing me for a while."
Exactly what Stavros had told his wife about her living with Nikos, Mari was never sure. And Julietta never said. She seemed to take it for granted that Mari was there to help Nikos. That she'd been a nanny seemed beside the point, and Mari had never spelled it out for her.
This afternoon Julietta was resting on a chaise lounge and Alexander was playing alone in the shallow end of die pool when Mari walked up to join them.
"Is Nikos taking another nap?" Julietta asked when Mari got close enough to talk.
"He doesn't need me right now." Mari didn't want to lie and she wasn't about to say that Nikos was on the phone arguing with Brian. The variable Mr. Carruthers had handed down some more modifications this morning, after Nikos had worked most of yesterday trying to accommodate the last set.
This time when Brian called, he had blown sky-high.
Mari did her best to soothe him, but he wasn't in the mood for soothing. "There's only one thing that would soothe me," he told her sharply—and the way his gaze drifted down her body, she didn't have to ask what it was.
"You said you wouldn't even kiss—" she began.
"I know what I said," Nikos retorted between clenched teeth. "So if you don't want me going back on my word, get out of here now and leave me to this."
Mari left.
"I'm soooo bored," Julietta said now. "I feel like a beached whale or a pregnant hippo." She rubbed her distended abdomen and sighed.
"Maybe it would be good for you to go in the pool. The water could help you support the baby."
"Maybe," Julietta agreed. "But I can't as long as it's just me here with Alex. He tries to be careful, but he forgets he can't leap on me these days."
"I'll go in with you."
Julietta's eyes fit up with gratitude. "Oh, would you mind? That would be wonderful." She eased her ungainly body to a sitting position and, with Man's help, hauled herself to her feet. "I'm so swollen," she said, craning her neck to look down in an effort to see her feet and ankles. "Much more this time than with Alex."
"Every baby's different, they say." Mari took her arm so Julietta wouldn't slip on the wet tiles.
"Well, I'll be glad to get this one out of me and on its way." Julietta made a face. "Alex, at least, was a winter baby." She smiled at her dark-haired son, who was jumping up and down in the water in eagerness as he watched her come down the steps into the pool.
"Are you comin' swimming with me, Mommy?" Alex was bouncing on his toes.
"How about if Mommy swims on her own and you swim alongside with me," Mari suggested.
Alex looked at her warily. He wasn't exactly shy with other people, but he was definitely reserved, as if he was going to do some serious study before he made up his mind about anyone. A lot like his brother, Mari thought.
She'd told Nikos yesterday at dinner how much his half-brother was like him.
"Don't tell the old man that," Nikos had said promptly. Then his face had split in a grin. ' 'On second thought, do. It'll drive him nuts."
In fact, Mari didn't know how Stavros would react to the idea. She knew he was deeply devoted to his little son. She suspected he was equally devoted to the older one—but had no idea how to show it. He couldn't play catch with Nikos or throw him up in the air or give him rides on his shoulders in the pool.
Had he ever done any of those things with Nikos? she wondered. But one look at Nikos's hard closed expression, and she had known better than to ask.
"What do you say?" she asked Alex now. "Shall we swim alongside your mom?''
He chewed on his fingernail. "Mmm. Yeah, I guess. Or we could race her!"
Mari slipped down into the water. "Come here, then."
She felt Alex's small eager hands grip her shoulders, and she put her hands behind her, giving him a boost so that he could wrap his legs around her torso and his arms across her neck. "Okay. Here we go. Watch out, Mom." She grinned at Julietta, by this time submerged till only her head and shoulders were out of the water. ' 'Better get going or we'll catch you."
"Oh, you will, will you?" Julietta began a lazy breaststroke toward the far end of the pool. Mari started after her.
At first Alex was content just to ride. But as his mother got further ahead, the Costanides competitive spirit won out.
"C'mon, Mari!" he yelled, kicking her like a pony. "Catch her!" He wriggled and bounced, digging his heels even harder into her sides as if that would make her go faster. It slowed her down and they began to fall behind.
"No!" he wailed in dismay. "We're gonna lose!"
Then Julietta, bless her, slowed a little, and Mari and Alex surged past.
"We won! Mari an' me won!" Alex crowed.
"Oh, good for you!" Julietta beamed at her son. "Thank you," she mouthed to Mari.
"My pleasure," Mari mouthed back. Then she said, "Come on, Alex. Let's swim back to the other end and you can show me how well you swim on your own."
Alex went with her eagerly, not kicking this time. "You're living with Nikos."
"I'm helping him," Mari corrected him, but she supposed from the boy's point of view, he was right, too.
"He's my brother."
"I know."
Alex made swishy fish movements with his hands. "He doesn't like me."
Mari looked at him, startled. "He doesn't? How do you know that."
Alex lifted narrow shoulders. "He doesn't talk to me. He just walks away. An' he never smiles."
"I think he has important things on his mind," Mari said.
"Maybe." But he didn't sound convinced. He sounded forlorn. Mari wondered if Nikos knew that Alex noticed—and cared.
She gave the boy's small hand a squeeze. "I think Nikos likes you, Alex. But he hasn't had a lot of experience with little boys."
"How come? He used to be one," Alex said.
Out of the mouths of babes. ' 'Well, yes, but that was a long time ago. Sometimes when they grow up, big boys forget."
"Maybe it's 'cause he hit his head. Nikos had a accident, you know. He was hurt bad. My daddy said he might die."
"Your daddy told you that?"
Alex ducked his head. "I was listenin'. He said it to my mom."
"I think your daddy was really worried about Nikos right after the accident," Mari said carefully. "But he doesn't have to worry now, and neither do you. Nikos didn't die then, and he's
not going to die now."
"You sure?" Alex's brown eyes, so like his brother's, searched hers.
Mari gave the little boy a hug. "I'm sure."
Julietta thanked her again profusely when she came out of the pool. "I know other mothers cope wonderfully well without any help at all," she said ruefully. "But I have been so tired these last couple of weeks. And now that Stavros is gone..."
"Stavros is gone?"
"He had to go to Athens," Julietta explained. "He'll be home next week."
By next week, Nikos would be out of his cast and gone. Mari wondered if Stavros realized that. She wondered what he'd say to her when he came back and found Nikos had left.
"He works so hard," Julietta said. "He ought to slow down. He had a heart attack two years ago, you know. I...hope you can convince Nikos to come back into the firm. It would be so much better."
For Stavros, Mari wanted to say. And for Nikos?
She didn't know.
"Alex thinks you don't like him," she told Nikos that night.
He was lying on the bed with his eyes shut. He'd been working all afternoon with some CAD program that was going to save his business and ruin his head, he told Mari. She forced another dose of the pain medication down him. "Rest," she commanded.
"I can't. Not until I tell Carruthers what I think of him," he muttered.
"I'll do that for you. Lie down and dictate."
He flashed a grin at her. "To you, sweetheart? I'd be delighted."
Man flushed. "You promised not to do that!"
"No. I promised not to kiss you. I didn't say I wouldn't flirt."
So to change the subject, she told him what Alex had said.
Nikos lifted one brow. "Don't like him? I never have anything to do with him."
"I think that's the whole point. He'd like to have something to do with you."
"Tell that to the old man. He makes damn good and sure Alex is never around when I am. Doesn't want me contaminating him."
"Oh, I doubt that."
But Nikos didn't, it was clear.
The next morning she went back to the big house to see if perhaps she could give Julietta a break and, incidentally, find out what Stavros's second wife thought.
The Playboy and the Nanny Page 9