by Alexis Anne
“No,” I lied. “I want more than your body, Esme. I want all of you.” Truth.
Her eyes flared. “I can make you change your mind,” she whispered, so sad it broke me. “I—” she licked her lips, looked away from.
“Do you know what’s happening? Is your father paying off football players?” Her gaze strayed back to me, but she remained silent. I took it as confirmation. “Why is he doing it? To force trades? To keep good players?”
She broke away from me, walked around her desk, her index finger trailing along the edge. “You’re walking into dangerous territory, Leo. Knowledge is a powerful and dangerous thing. You can’t unknow things.” Her voice changed, her shoulders straightened.
“Then don’t tell me facts. Give me a,” I waved my hand through the air, “hypothetical scenario.”
She completed the circuit around her desk and came to a stop in front of me. “Hypothetically, athletes can be convinced to do certain things at certain times for certain reasons.” She swallowed. “Just as, hypothetically speaking, teenage girls can go to extraordinary lengths to piss off their asshole fathers.”
I knew, I knew she was telling me something important, yet I couldn’t quite concentrate with her so close. “A-athletes can be bought, you’re saying?”
She leaned closer, whispered against my ear. “Possibly. You should go Leo.”
I closed my eyes, drunk on the way she made me feel insane. “Why? Why should I go, Esme? I already told you I want you.”
“Because.” She pulled back, looked into my eyes. “I want you too. I need you. And if you don’t go I won’t be strong enough to leave you.”
Chapter 13
The surge of possession I felt at Esme’s confession was not small. In fact, I might even say it was all consuming. “I’m not leaving.”
Her eyes flared and her mouth opened with what I could only assume was another attempt at shocking me into leaving. So I placed my index finger over her lips. “You can stop all that nonsense. I don’t care about any of it.” I stepped into her, brought our bodies flush. “I need you too, Esme. You’re killing me each and every time you push me away. I won’t stand for it any longer.”
Color rose in her cheeks, a distinct flush of arousal spread across her neck and breasts. Because of what I said? Most likely. She liked when I challenged her, but she also responded beautifully to being told what to do. She was a complicated little rebel like that.
I kissed her then, showing her I meant to have her, giving her an opportunity to demand I leave. She kissed me back, slid her hands up my chest, over my shoulders, and behind my neck. So I took the kiss deeper, grabbed her ass, drank in her moan.
“You were brilliant tonight.” I pulled back enough to slow us down. At the rate we were moving I’d have her naked in seconds. Not that being naked was a bad thing. I wasn’t leaving this office until she was satisfied and ready to accept the fact that I wanted more than a few stolen moments.
I wanted all of her moments.
“I didn’t do anything.” Her eyes blinked open, arms still around me neck.
“I suppose I should rephrase then. The presentation highlighted your brilliance.” I ducked down to place a soft kiss on her cheek. “Your brain is sexy as fuck.”
Her eyes drifted closed for a moment, her breath turning raspy. “In crowds and with friends you maintain your hybrid American/British English oddities, but when you’re aroused you drop into standard American slang.”
Why oh why did that turn me on so much? “Tell me more, Esme.” I ran my hands down her sides, over that delectable curve from waist to hip, all while sucking softly down her neck. Her head fell back, giving me all the access I needed.
“Many Americans incorrectly believe English is a Latin language because of the number of borrowed words from the French, but English is a Germanic-based language. It was the constant conquering back and forth between the English and the French that necessitated the sharing of common terms, which is why there are so many French terms in standard English, thus causing the confusion over English’s origins.”
I gave her hips a squeeze. “You know a lot about language.”
She smiled and shrugged, shrinking back a bit. “I see patterns. More than is normal or average, or whichever word you prefer.”
Her quick correction from ‘normal’ to ‘average’ told me she’d been informed she wasn’t normal often enough for it to bother her. “I can confirm that you are well above average in every way that matters, Esme. Being normal is boring.”
“Yes, well, tell that to the kid who could predict financial trends just by reading headlines, or accurately guess which teams would be in the playoffs each season.”
“It’s not a guess if you’re studying patterns and leveraging statistics. That’s an informed decision based on available information.” The hair on the back of my neck rose.
She searched my eyes, then nodded once. “True.”
“That’s an amazing skill to come by naturally.” Which made me wonder . . . “Did your father try to exploit that?”
She froze, just for a moment, just long enough for me to know it was true.
“You’re very good at reading people,” she whispered.
I ran my hand over her collarbone, watching her nerves settle at my touch. “I notice everything about you Esme. I can’t seem to help myself. You’re like a drug. I get high on your responses; I crave to understand the ones I don’t expect. I could study you forever and never get bored.” And because I needed my next fix, I ran my knuckles over the bodice of her dress, watched her tense as I grazed her nipples. “So your father saw that he had his own little financial wizard and what? Used you for guiding his investments?”
I had a very good feeling there was much, much more here, but I needed to start small, get her to trust me with her secrets, understand that I only wanted her, not her abilities.
And trust me she did. As long as I kept touching her, teasing her into a long, drawn out seduction, the information kept tumbling from her mouth. Was it fair to use her pleasure as a truth serum? Probably not. But she could also tell me to leave at any time and she wasn’t.
“I didn’t realize it at first,” she panted as I palmed her breasts and ran circles around her nipples with my thumbs. “I was just a kid babbling at the breakfast table before school as the newspapers were passed around. A few months later I realized Edmund was asking very specific questions, that his sudden interest in speaking to me was motivated by money, not affection.”
The fucking bastard. I hated him more and more. To reward her candor I unzipped her dress and let the top slide down. I mouthed her perfect nipples, causing her to lean back against her desk, thrusting her breasts up for me to feast on.
“And then,” she gasped, “and then he offered to pay me. If I kept talking he’d pay me.”
“How old were you?” I cupped her mound and she moaned in response, so I pressed and rubbed until she was practically crawling onto the desk.
“Thirteen.”
“You weren’t even in high school and he was investing based on your observations?” That was . . . well it was incredible, but also incredibly sad.
“Oh no, I was a junior by then. I skipped kindergarten, third, and seventh grades.”
“You really are brilliant.”
She stopped grinding against my hand and met my gaze, her eyes clear as she spoke. “I was motivated to get away from my father, Leo. Put your fingers inside me now, please.”
And that’s when I realized that Esme was completely aware of my little game and playing along because she wanted to tell me her story. Maybe even needed the distraction of my hands on her body to be able to do it.
So of course I complied. I moved beneath the slip of fabric and circled her entrance to find she was very wet indeed. I slid my middle finger inside, shocked and awed by the velvety heat. “Good god, you’re so very ready for me, aren’t you, darling?”
She bit her lip, rode my hand. “I like it whe
n you slip back and forth with your accent. It tells me exactly how you’re feeling.”
I slid in my index finger and pumped her several times. “And how am I feeling?”
“Aroused but in control. You like being the one in charge.”
Truth be told I enjoyed many different things, depending on the occasion. But with Esme, my darling Esme, a kind of possession came out in me. A need to be her everything, to dismantle her world and give her peace. “You fascinate me.”
“And you fascinate me.” Her hair fell over her shoulder as she shifted forward to whisper a kiss against my lips. “I think you can tell that I’m a very sexual person. To find someone like you, to feel I can be myself with you, it’s very . . . what was the word you used? Drugging?”
I nodded, mesmerized by her.
“You’re like my drug, Leo. You release my inhibitions and set me free.”
I sank silently to my knees, dragging her useless, soaking panties with me. “These are mine now.” I tucked them into my pocket, then placed my hands on her thighs and spread her before me. My mouth watered in anticipation. “And Esme?”
She gasped and moaned as I blew cool air over her sex. “Yes?”
I chose this position, this moment, to make my confession. I wanted to worship her, wanted her to see with her eyes that my words matched my intentions. “You’re right. About everything.” I licked along her lips and circled her clitoris once. “Sex is a fundamental part of who I am.” I sucked on her lightly, felt her tremble. “I need deep, physical intimacy, otherwise I feel . . . incomplete.” I nuzzled her sex, breathed in her scent, felt the soul deep rightness of being with her. “I would very much like to make this permanent.”
I sat back on my heels and waited.
She nodded slowly. “Just me?”
“Only you. Only me. Complete trust and freedom for both of us.”
She nibbled lower lip. “For how long?”
“Does it matter?”
“Maybe.”
I didn’t want her to shrink away so I touched her again, pleasured her with my fingers until she was panting and grinding back. “Why might it matter?” One finger became two as I sucked her clit, watching her intently.
“Because,” she panted, “because you might change your mind when you get to know me and . . . and I’m not good with ending things.”
If she thought I was ever going to end things with her she was losing her damn mind. She was everything I ever dreamed possible. Someone who fed off pleasure every bit as much as I did, craved the intimacy and vulnerability, all wrapped up in a fucking gorgeous, brilliant package.
But she was also clearly dealing with a lot of baggage I didn’t understand. Was it possible some of it would shock me? Maybe. Would any of it make me want her less? No. I couldn’t believe that. I felt too connected to her, a bond I couldn’t understand.
“Would it make you feel better if I promised a minimum length of time?”
“Yes.” She nodded furiously.
“How long are we talking? A year? A month? A decade?”
“Six months, she said quickly. “I need at least six months of you.”
Six whole months of Esme in my bed? That gave me plenty of time to convince her to spend even more.
“A year,” I countered for the hell of it.
Her eyes rounded in surprise. “Why?”
I couldn’t help but to smile as I kissed her, suckled her. “I don’t think you understand just how much I want you, Esme. All of you. Just you. I’ll take whatever I can get, but please don’t blame me for being greedy.”
I worked her over for several minutes, feeling her, tasting her, absorbing every fucking sound. “Tell me something, Esme. Tell me something you think will shock me. Maybe if we get some of it out of the way you’ll believe me.”
I stood then, stripped off my jacket, got rid of my tie, and waited for her confession.
“I use sex as a way to escape.”
“I already know that, darling. Tell me something I don’t know.”
She watched with wide, hungry eyes as I undid my cuffs and rolled my sleeves. She swallowed hard. “I use sex to clear my mind. Sometimes it gets really wild in there. Really wild, Leo. And the only thing I’ve found that clears it is a certain kind of sex.”
I wanted answers to two things now. “Have you tried medication?”
“Of course. But it fogs up my mind and makes it hard to work. I don’t feel like myself anymore. Besides . . . I have a method that works wonders.”
I unbuttoned my first two buttons and cracked my neck. “And it is?”
“Being consumed.” She blinked from my neck to my eyes. “Tied up, dominated, humiliated . . . there are plenty of options, but the important factor is being so overwhelmed by pleasure, having control taken from me so I can clear my mind.”
“I already know that about you, as well.” Our first night together she became a different person when I held her down. The more I restricted her movements the faster and harder her orgasms came.
She took a long, deep breath then and it appeared she was resigning herself to telling me something much bigger; something she genuinely thought would give me pause.
“I told you I became rebellious. Terribly rebellious, actually. I’ve done things I regret, illegal things. I’ve used and abused. And I’ve done things solely because I knew they would horrify my father if he found out. I’m not that person anymore. I,” she looked away, embarrassed, “I hurt people I loved because I was so focused on my rebellion.”
I stepped up to the desk and grabbed her left leg, bending it until her heel rested on the edge. Then I did the same to her right leg. “We all do things when we’re young and hurt. We learn from them and we grow up. We do better when we know better. How long will you have me, Esme?” She’d said enough for one day. I’d take her confessions and promise her forever.
“Six months. I won’t hold you to any more.”
“What if I want more?” I couldn’t help but admire the sight of her flushed and needy, spread before me on her desk. I couldn’t hold out any longer. I needed to be inside her, needed to feel her come on my cock.
So I loosened my belt, unbuttoned my slacks, and slid down my zip.
“If, after you know me you still want more, we’ll decide how to proceed.” Her eyes slid to the erection in my hand as I rolled on a condom. “What are you going to do to me now?”
“We’re going to debauch your office in celebration of our new relationship. You’ll remember every day when you come into work that I fucked you on this ridiculously clear desk, with your fancy dress around your hips and your tits out for me to enjoy. You’ll remember I was fully clothed.”
Chapter 14
This was becoming a thing for us. Twice now with her dress askew and my suit still on. Perhaps I should make a list of all the places I wanted to have her in public. I already had a list of the ways I wanted her at home, naked and all mine.
“Leo,” she moaned. “I love it when you say things like that.”
“And I mean it my darling girl. I want to give you what you need and right now you need filthy memories of doing what you shouldn’t in places you shouldn’t.”
“Yes. Yes please.”
She became frenzied. I loved that I could read her needs and give her that relief. But first I needed to have her mind. “You won’t move your legs and your hands,” I took them one at a time, curling them over the edge of the desk, “will stay here until I tell you to move. You will let me have you as I wish.”
Her eyes rolled back. “Yes, Leo. Use me.”
I grabbed myself, circled her clit, moved down her slit, wet myself at her entrance. There was no instant deep thrusting with Esme. She was too narrow and I was too big. So I rocked into her slowly, pausing with each inch to allow her to stretch around my invasion, to lubricate me in her tight little channel. Yes it meant I needed to be more controlled in the beginning, but the reward was the way it felt to be squeezed so tight.
I pumped into her hard, enjoyed the friction, drowned in her wide, shocked gaze. I took from her because if I didn’t I’d go mad, but also because it was what she wanted. There was so much about her I didn’t know, so much I couldn’t wait to learn. Knowing that holding her down made her wet or that challenging her made her aroused wasn’t the same as knowing why.
I wanted the why.
I wanted to understand her worries and erase them, replace them with desire for me and for me alone. I wanted to possess this woman, mind, body and soul. The urge to make her mine consumed me on my most basic level.
Placing my hands on her hips I thrust deep several times, swirled my hips, and then buried myself in her heat. “Fucking perfect.”
She shivered. “You feel . . . you feel . . . I need.”
“What do you need, Esme? You think you want oblivion.” I reared back and plunged deep. “But you know what I think?”
She wet her red lower lip before dragging it between her teeth and whispered, “Tell me.”
I kissed the hollow behind her ear, licked and sucked at her neck and shoulder. “I think you need the exact opposite.” I nuzzled between her perfect fucking breasts and sighed. “You want oblivion because it erases everything, including you, but you should be seen, Esme.” I cupped her breasts, weighed them in my palms and squeezed. “My god, you need to be seen. For who you are, the dark and the light, and be treasured for all of it.”
She closed her eyes, closing off my window into her soul. She didn’t believe me—or maybe she was scared to believe it might be true.
Instead of arguing with her, I worshipped her, dropping my mouth to her breast and savoring the softness of her skin, torturing her nipples until she could barely hold herself on the desk with the way her body shook.
“I want all of you, Esme.”
She cried out, her core beginning to pulse around me. Then her beautiful eyes finally flew open, locking with mine. “I see you, too. You’re a good man, Leo.”
Her words, her soft breath against my skin . . . I needed her hands on me.