He studied the colorful scraps of lace and elastic thongs that fell into his palm, aware of that déjà vu tickle of memory, except, he realized, this wasn’t déjà vu.
He had seen a thong like these, and recently.
JJ found him sitting on the foot of the bed, a Nike shoe box open beside him, when she padded barefoot from the bathroom. He was naked. JJ thought she was comfortable nude, but she’d never seen anyone who got naked as readily or as unself-consciously as he did. The lamplight gilded his powerful shoulders, noticeably browner these days since he often ran shirtless.
JJ unzipped her skirt and stepped out of it. “What do you have there?”
“It was you.” His eyes were dark and full of pain when he raised them. “Why, JJ? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“What was me?” She had never seen him like this. Never heard him sound like this.
He opened his fist. A little silken pouch slid from his fingers to the peachy-gray carpet.
She dropped the skirt on a chair and knelt to pick up what he had dropped. “This was a gag gift from Bronwyn. Where did you find it?” She laid her hand on his dark, hair-roughened thigh. “David? Tell me what’s wrong.”
Slowly he reached into the shoe box at his side. “Remember this?” He held out another thong, ecru. He stretched it between two fingers so she could see the Mustang logo.
For a minute, she didn’t make the connection. Then she did.
She sat back on her heels. “You found that? And you’ve kept it? All this time?”
“Why did you lie? Why did you tell me we ‘met’? Like it was no more significant than a handshake.”
She rubbed her forehead. “If you will recall, you strolled up to me and said, ‘Do I know you from somewhere?’” She rose to her feet. Trying to master her anger, she stalked to the closet and jerked out a skirt hanger. She rounded on him. “Give me a break, David! What did you expect me to say? ‘Yes, I know you, but only in the Biblical sense.’”
She inserted the skirt waistband into the hanger clips with short, jerky movements. “The question was something less than flattering, you know.”
“I’m still waiting to hear why.”
She hung the skirt in the closet and returned. “‘Why?’ Do you really think I should have greeted you with open arms?”
“That’s not the question. The question is, why didn’t you tell me the truth?”
“All right. You want to know? For one solid year I had felt disgusted with myself every time I remembered that night. I had sex with a total stranger. I didn’t even know his last name.” She turned her eyes heavenward. “Talk about wasting my upset on nothing. A turning point in my life—my absolute all-time low—was a non-event to you. You didn’t even remember it happened! Do you really believe I had any reason to want to reminisce?”
He squeezed the thong in his fist, then opened his fingers and watched the flesh-colored elastic rebound.
“Your absolute all-time low was an evening with me.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I didn’t know your name. That was my all-time low.”
“What? How?”
“In hindsight, I could see that something had been bothering you. I didn’t know what was wrong, but I had only made it worse. But had I paid attention? No, I ignored it because I wanted you. And if I wanted a girl—hey, what other consideration was there?”
“Well, you offered to beat somebody up for me. That’s got to count for something.”
He smiled at her attempt to lighten the moment but shook his head. “Nah. I was careless. I was living way too fast. I thought getting to know someone just slowed me. And why should I have to ? I was so wonderful that girls were honored to spend an evening with me. God, I was an arrogant bastard. It was pathetically easy for me to believe you had been overcome by my charms.” He snorted with disgust. “You set me straight. You defended yourself with a shoe. You said, ‘Don’t make me regret sex with you more than I already do.’”
“That really bothered you.”
“Yeah. I dreamed about you. Dreamed I was looking for you everywhere. And when I was awake, I did look for you. I’d see a woman with hair the brown of yours.” He lifted a lock of her hair. “For a minute, I’d think it was you—even when I was in—” He laughed apologetically. “Well, a really unlikely place for you to be.” He stoked her cheek. “Didn’t you have any idea how glad I was to see you? Or how crazy it felt?”
“I thought… I don’t know… maybe you had so many notches on your belt, you’d lost count. At first I didn’t know whether to be insulted or relieved, but once I thought about it, I was mostly relieved. I thought you could and would take any relationship we had lightly.”
“You thought I was that shallow. I was. The only time I wasn’t was when I was operating.”
“No, David. I look back on it now, and I think I was the shallow one. I was the one who expected nothing real or meaningful from a relationship. I thought someone who cared about me would just be a burden. You kept saying there was more and expecting more of me. I haven’t been deliberately withholding the truth about that night. When I got to know you, the truth is, I kind of forgot, myself. Whatever had happened didn’t matter anymore. You were a different person by then, and so was I.”
“I never forgot you, even though my brains were scrambled. Every time I touched you, I’d have this crazy feeling like I know her. You want to know what else? The thong? I’d come across it and think, I ought to get rid of that. I’m not one to keep souvenirs. But I couldn’t make myself do it.”
“And it came together for you tonight?”
“Yep. My brain is clearer and making more connections all the time.”
“I’m sorry I let you believe nothing happened that night. I didn’t intend to confuse you. But I’m glad you remember it all now. Consciously. You see, I’ve worried, if you got better, if you got your life back, you would one day go off and forget me again.”
“Never. I knew, even then, what a terrible mistake I had made. I knew I had been given the pearl of great price and dropped it. Now I know you, body, mind, and soul.” He lifted her hand and kissed the finger on which she wore his ring.
The ring represented the full circle. The love which has no end. The love of the father he never knew, the mother’s love he had reclaimed this night, the life that may have ended in Afghanistan but had begun again with this woman.
He lifted her hand so he could look into the green fire of her eyes. “I am joined with you, and you are joined with me, body, mind, and soul.” He kissed the ring. “And we are SEALed with a ring.”
Epilogue
“THIS IS THE LAST PARTY, I PROMISE.” JJ HUGGED DAVID’S arm as they went up the sidewalk toward Senator Calhoun’s mansion in the historic district of Wilmington. As directed, they had parked in the Baptist church parking lot a couple of blocks away. They had elected to walk instead of waiting for one of the courtesy vans that was ferrying guests to the door.
“I’m sort of looking forward to this one,” David admitted. “Do you think The Idiot will be here?”
JJ didn’t have to ask who The Idiot was. It’s what David always called Blount. “That’s what Mary Cole says. Why do you ask? You’re not planning to do anything SEAL-ish are you?”
“I understand Mary Cole’s battle plan perfectly. We’re supposed to meet and greet him amicably in impeccable company.”
JJ thought he looked a little too sincere, but she let it drop. She returned to the previous subject. “If you never want to go to another one, you don’t have to.”
“I haven’t minded. I’m the envy of every man everywhere we go. Does great things for my ego, knowing I’m with the most beautiful woman there.”
“I’ll bet all the attention from the women doesn’t hurt, either. The scar has healed amazingly.”
“One of the effects of HBOT.”
“It’s almost invisible. It really does look like character lines now. And I don’t think either one of
us knew how much swelling there was around your eye until it went away. I’m going to have to start carrying a baseball bat to beat the women off you.”
He stopped her. “No, you won’t. Not now. Not ever. You are the only woman I want. I already have the best one. The only one I want to go home with. The only one I want to wake up beside.”
“Good—oh, look!” JJ pointed to a couple already at the top of the mansion steps. “Is that Jax and Pickett going in?”
On the inside, they surrendered their coats to a young woman and quickly found Jax and Pickett. Pickett’s pregnancy was now clearly visible and displayed attractively in a peach dress with a vaguely Grecian drape.
The men shook hands and clasped shoulders. Pickett squeezed JJ’s hands. “If you need anything, you call me. We SEAL wives try to stick together. The guys”—she waggled a hand at David and Jax—“wherever they are, they have each other. Are you going to move to Virginia Beach?”
“I’m going to go up on weekends, as much as I can.”
“Are you okay with him returning to operating?”
“I understand he needs to do it. He’s physically and mentally healed, but he won’t really feel like he’s recovered all of himself until he’s tested himself. His hitch is up in a year, and we’ve talked about what he wants to do then.”
“There’s a saying. Officers get out when they want more. Enlisted, when they’ve had enough. Speaking of which, here come Emmie and Do-Lord. Do-Lord is doing some kind of research now.”
Pickett and Emmie were best friends, so they had to hug and catch up.
JJ was momentarily left with no one to talk to. She couldn’t help herself. She scanned the reception room for Blount. Mary Cole had assured her he would be there. “Turn down an invitation to an A-list party when he’s never done better than B-list before? I don’t think so.”
Mary Cole’s cynicism was merited. JJ had always seen that her A-list status was a huge plus to Blount. She didn’t see him now though.
“Will you look who’s coming! Lon!” David hailed the senior chief. “Did Mary Cole get you here, too?”
The older man shook hands all around. “Mary Cole? Pickett’s mom? No. I came with Lauren. Her late husband was a big supporter of the senator’s. She needs to start getting out again, but she didn’t want to come alone.”
“If I can have everyone’s attention.” Senator Calhoun’s trained orator’s voice carried easily throughout the room. He was obviously wearing a wireless mic and speakers were hidden. The effect was impressive.
“We are all honored to have with us tonight a number of our nation’s heroes. My friend the Secretary of the Navy has told me that yesterday he signed the recommendation for one of them to receive the Navy Cross, our nation’s second highest honor. I don’t believe the date of the award ceremony has been set, but I assure you, Charlotte and I will be there. In the meantime, I wish to make him known to you so that you may thank him for his service to our country. Ladies and gentlemen, Petty Officer First Class David Graziano and his lovely wife, JJ, whom many of you know as the former JJ Caruthers. Thank you, JJ, for making this fine young man a North Carolinian.”
An hour or so later, JJ finally caught sight of Blount. In fact, he was hard to miss. He was standing completely by himself, while other guests walked past him without seeing him. Mary Cole’s strategy had succeeded past even her dreams. The very people who’d been entertained by Blount a month ago didn’t want to be seen talking to him—not when one of the most powerful senators in Washington had made it clear that JJ and David had his patronage.
Mary Cole had told JJ she would know the right moment to speak to Blount. This was it. She crossed the room to where he stood near one of the tall Palladian windows.
She held out her hands to him. “Blount!” she said in a clear voice. “I’m so happy to see you!”
He had the bleak, fixed stare of a man who has watched his future go up in flames.
JJ laid her cheek against his. With her mouth close to his ear, she whispered, “Take my hands, kiss my cheek, and smile, you idiot.”
When, like a sleepwalker he had done as directed, she pulled back. A quick glance around showed she had the attention of those closest. “Are you ever going to forgive me? Please say you will!”
“For what?”
“For what.” Playing to her audience, she shook her head in wonder at his forbearance. “That is just like you. For treating you so badly, of course. I wouldn’t say I dumped you, but I could have let you down a little easier. It was just… the man I’d loved for a year had miraculously reappeared in my life.”
JJ heard her own words and knew she was speaking the absolute truth. “From the moment I first saw him, something changed for me, and nobody else would have done. But if I hurt you, I am most sincerely sorry.”
Rise to the occasion, Blount, just this once. I’ve handed you your line. I’ve done everything I can to get us both out of this. She felt someone at her back and knew without turning it was David. She turned up the wattage on her smile as she said through her teeth, “Say you forgive me.”
Blount finally demonstrated that his political ambitions were backed by a modicum of talent. “There really is nothing to forgive,” he told her with a slightly chagrined smile. “My mother used to say that love will triumph over all. It’s obvious that’s what happened here.” He stuck out his hand to David. “Clearly, the best man won.”
The four SEALs and their significant others found seats in a cove under the stairs. They had been polite guests long enough. They could be forgiven for being a little clannish for a few minutes.
David and JJ would be leaving soon. As was his habit, he checked everyone, needing to make sure they were okay.
Jax was with Pickett. One child was at home, and one on the way. Do-Lord was with Emmie, and they were perfect for each other. David didn’t know how it had happened, but Emmie had found an elusive, fairylike prettiness. Not his cup of tea, but he could see the attraction. Amazingly, even Lon was once again with Lauren.
“Do you realize that this is the first time we’ve all been together in one place in over a year without somebody getting married?”
“There’s no one left to get married, except Lon,” Do-Lord pointed out.
“How ’bout it, buddy?”
“I’ve asked her.” Lon smiled into Lauren’s eyes, while she blushed like a woman half her age. “She says AA recommends no decisions of that sort until there’s been one full year of sobriety.”
“When will that be?”
The burly senior chief crossed his arms over his chest, a very strategic smile on his face. “Tomorrow.”
That did it then. Everyone was squared away.
And he, David, had the best one of all.
David was alive. More alive than he had ever been before.
Life was good.
Acknowledgments
A book becomes real—moves from being scenes and characters rumbling around my brain to being an actual object that can be held in the hands—only with the help of a lot of people.
Readers are always interested in my research. I don’t begin to have the military knowledge I would need to create my SEAL characters and their actions. Capt. Larry Bailey, USN Ret., former SEAL, helped me plot the Afghanistan chapter, explained motivations, and took me through the action step by step. Medical Capt. Hiram Patterson, Medical Service Corp, USNR, generously took his time to help me with specifics about Davy’s injures—how they would happen and how they would be treated.
Sally A. Bulla, CDR, NC, USN-Ret., assured me a SEAL would lie through his teeth to cover up injuries. “For the most part, they can hide things pretty well—imagine lying to a doctor or nurse! Happens all the time with these guys. It’s only when they know they are a danger to their comrades that they will tell someone that there’s a problem. They always hope it’s going to go away or get manageable so they can hide it.” She also helped me with a time line for leaves.
When I encounter gen
eral military questions, an answer is always a Send away at RTMS, a Yahoo! group of writers of military romance. What would I do without you guys?
All credit for military accuracy goes to the above. Any mistakes are mine.
I don’t know whether it’s a commentary on me or our society, but in plotting, I always encounter a legal question. Angie Narron is my go-to lawyer, always ready with an answer.
Elizabeth Vaughan, MD, of Vaughan Integrative Medicine, suggested hyperbaric oxygen therapy as a possible treatment option. Gail Durgin, PhD, a neuro-feedback therapist gave me insight into how it feels to have mild traumatic brain injury. It was she who told me, “Patients always say, ‘I just want my life back!’”
JJ wouldn’t exist without Elva Pugh. She’s this larger-than-life beauty with black hair and green eyes, recognizable to everyone in her hometown, on equal terms with judges, mayors, and Walmart greeters, and she owns a car dealership. With her in my corner, I had the factual basis to create a fictional heroine who owns a car dealership, plus the idea for the sunglasses. You should see me wearing the ones she gave me. I am hot.
Affectionate gratitude goes to Alyosha Anatoliy of Fred Astaire of North Greensboro—“The Happiest, Friendliest Spot in Town”—for some of the most enjoyable hours of my life, unending encouragement of my writing, and the background needed to create the dance scenes.
I am unfailingly touched by the generosity of perfect strangers who take their time to answer questions online. With the help of April, of http://www.vintagevixen.com, I found the 1967 wedding dress JJ borrows. And guess what? It was a Priscilla of Boston, originally sold in Goldsboro, NC. ( I love it when that kind of synchronicity happens!)
In addition, I must thank my tireless critique partners, Jennifer Lohman and Yvonne Harris. Talk about unsung heroes. They read my manuscripts almost as many times as I do.
Mary Margret Daughtridge SEALed Bundle Page 91