Once upon a time, she remembered, she’d had a firm, taut middle, adequate breasts and smooth, supple skin. Everything had been where it was supposed to be before two children and twenty-five years of gravity. She’d always thought she had aged fairly well; Daniel hadn’t ever complained, and she’d been conscientious about exercise and eating smart.
But examining herself now, she saw bones jutting in her hips, a softly rounded stomach, breasts that had been through two pregnancies and a few years of nursing. It hadn’t mattered so much to Daniel, because he had been with her at each stage. It had been his babies who changed her body. She wondered how Logan would look at her. Why would he want her when he could easily choose a younger woman with all her body parts in the right place?
The same doubt gnawed at Jude as she dressed, choosing a light and floaty cotton dress with simple flat sandals. After hesitating a few minutes, she took special care in choosing what she wore under the dress. Not that she was planning anything, necessarily, but it didn’t hurt to be prepared. Lacy purple underwear and a matching bra never hurt anyone.
She dried her hair, thinking it was one of things she still had going for her. There wasn’t even a hint of gray in the silky black strands. If she helped that out a bit once a month, it was at least one easy thing she could do to fight the onslaught of time.
As she finished doing her hair, a glint on her finger caught her eye. She glanced down at her left hand, where Daniel’s rings remained. She had thought about taking them off at different points in the last year, but it had never felt right. And even now...she closed her fist and shook her head. Not yet.
She kept her makeup light, added a little perfume and was ready before she heard Logan’s car pull into the driveway. Standing at the window, she watched him stride toward the porch.
He wore dark khaki cargo shorts and a plain green t-shirt. Jude was surprised that he was dressed so casually, since she thought they were going out to dinner. When he got a little closer, she could see that he’d gotten his hair cut since she’d seen him in the morning. For some reason, that fact melted her heart just a little bit more. Yes, she’d been freaking out all day, thinking about tonight, but knowing Logan might have been worrying a little bit, too, made her feel so much better.
Jude opened the door before he could ring the bell, and Logan met her eyes with a smile. She had expected seeing him again to be awkward, uncomfortable, but Logan didn’t pause. He stepped up to the threshold and slipped his arms around her waist. Before Jude could say a word, his mouth was over hers, possessive and warm.
He finished with a small kiss to the side of her mouth.
“Hi.” He smiled down into her eyes. “I’ve been thinking about doing that all day. Waiting to get back to you and do that.”
Jude’s mouth curved. “Hi.” Her heart pounding, she reached up and buried her hand in the back of his hair. Pulling him back to her, she kissed him again and felt his pleasure that she had taken the initiative.
Standing back, she gestured through the door. “Do you want to come in for a minute, or do we need to go? You didn’t say where we were having dinner, so I hope this dress is okay.”
“You’re beautiful, as always.” Logan brushed back her hair. “Perfect. We don’t exactly have reservations, but I think we should head out.”
Jude grabbed her handbag, locking the door behind them. Logan took her hand and led her to the car.
“So where are we going?” Jude’s curiosity got the better of her as Logan turned in his seat, backing out of the driveway.
He shot her a smile and wink. “It’s a surprise. Do you trust me?”
“Of course I do.”
“Okay then.” Logan turned down a side street. “Did you talk to Joseph today?”
“Yeah. Actually, I talked to both of the kids. Joseph sounded good. He’s already totally in love with that baby.”
“What about the baby’s mom?” Logan glanced over at her.
“Not sure. He only had good things to say about her and her family. He’s going to stay down there for a little while, I guess, and get to know the baby, talk with Lindsay about what comes next.”
“I’m glad he seems to be handling it well. And you told Meggie? How did that go?”
“At first, she wanted to drive down to Clearwater herself and tell Joseph what an idiot he was. Her words, not mine. But she calmed down, and she’s agreed to talk to him without screaming. So that’s something.”
“And how are you feeling about the whole thing?”
Jude sighed. “I know I wallowed in self-pity last night. But this morning, the more I think about it, and after talking to Sadie...well, it’s not what I would have planned for him. And I know it’s going to change his life forever, and nothing will be easy for him ever again. But in the grand scheme of things, he’s not hurt or sick. He didn’t break any laws. Once he found out about the baby, he did the right thing. So I guess I’m coming to terms with it, trying to see the happy.”
She glanced around as Logan pulled into a small, nearly empty parking lot next to the beach.
“Logan, where are we going?”
“To dinner. I told you.” He parked the car and turned to Jude. “Now, when we get out of the car, we’re leaving Joseph and Meghan and the baby and everyone else in the world in here. We’re not worrying about them for the rest of the night. Agreed?”
Jude frowned, but before she could say anything, Logan added, “It’s not that I don’t love them, too. You know I do. But you need a break from this, and I want you to relax. Plus--” He grinned. “I’ll admit it. I’m selfish. I want all your attention, just this one night.”
She laughed. “Okay, you got it. Not another word about the whole thing. But I have to admit, I’m a little lost.”
Logan helped her out of the car. “How so?”
“I didn’t know about any restaurant opening down here, and I know every hot dog stand in the Cove. Particularly if it’s right on the beach.”
“Ah.” Logan twined his fingers with hers and brought their hands to his lips. He kissed her hand. “Did I say we were going to a restaurant?”
Jude cocked at eyebrow at him as they climbed over the small riser that bridged the dunes. To the right was a covered pavilion, and looking at it, Jude realized that it was decorated with draped material. Music played softly.
“Logan! What is this?”
They stepped down into the sand, and Logan tugged her closer, wrapping his arms around her. “This is dinner. Come on.”
They made their way over to the wooden structure. A table was set up in the center, covered with a white tablecloth and flanked by two chairs. A cooler and tote sat off to the side.
Logan helped her on to the pavilion and pulled out her chair. From the cooler he pulled a bottle of wine and filled both glasses. He uncovered a cheese plate and a basket of bread.
“This is amazing.” Jude looked around with wide eyes. “What made you think of it?”
Logan sipped his wine. “I remembered you saying once that going to a restaurant wasn’t much fun for you, because all you could see was what they were doing wrong or how you would do it better. So I was thinking about takeout from a new place that opened near the office, but I didn’t want to take it to your house or mine. Not tonight. And then I remembered this place.”
“Good memories here.” Jude glanced around. “And this cheese is delicious. What else do you have for me?”
Logan winked. “Guess you’ll have to wait and see.”
***
Jude had no idea how Logan had pulled this off. The cold food—including cheeses, salads, a few different wines and butter for the delicious crusty bread—was chilled in the cooler, while the entrees and desserts were still toasty, wrapped in special heating towels within the tote.
“Oh, my God, Logan.” She closed her eyes in bliss, savoring the short ribs that melted in her mouth. “This might be the best thing I’ve ever eaten. It’s just fabulous.”
He reached across
the table to squeeze her hand. “Good. Want a bite of my sea bass?” He scooped a morsel onto his fork along with some couscous and held it in front of her lips.
“Mmmm.” Jude smiled as she moaned in enjoyment. “Okay, now I can’t say for sure which was better, yours or mine.”
Logan’s eyes darkened. “Keep making those noises, and we might not make it to dessert.”
Heat flooded Jude’s center. She leaned forward. “We’re not within walking distance of your house or mine. Or the Tide, even, for that matter. And as romantic as this is, the floor would be pretty hard.”
“Jude, haven’t you noticed how prepared I am here? Don’t you think I’ve scoped out a secluded little spot in the dunes, behind the sea oats?”
When she stared at him, her lips slightly open, Logan laughed. “Have I shocked you? I’m just teasing you. Well, mostly. I really am tempted to sneak off with a blanket, like everyone did back in high school during the dances.”
Jude shook her head. “I never did that, and neither did you.”
Logan quirked an eyebrow. “Don’t you want to find out what we both were missing?”
“Not really. I know the beach is pretty quiet this time of year, but the idea of getting caught might...” She lowered her voice. “It might make me more inhibited.” She leaned back in the chair, laying down her fork. “Not to mention the possibility of getting sand in some uncomfortable places.”
Logan laughed. “Do you think that happened back in the day, with all those couples who came skulking back to the dances after rolling around on the beach?”
“I happen to know it did. Plus, sand fleas, other little critters...” She squirmed. “I guess I’m old and boring. When I have a perfectly lovely bed at home, just waiting--” Jude broke off, hearing her own words. Not that Logan hadn’t made his intentions for this evening quite clear, but she didn’t want to sound as though she expected him in her bed.
Logan picked up her empty plate along with his own and returned them to the tote. He pulled out two more covered plates.
“You’ve got to be kidding!” Jude held her stomach, laughing. “I can’t eat another bite. Not yet, anyway.”
“Okay.” He replaced them and closed the tote. “Want to go for a walk then? Stretch your legs?”
Jude rose and gave him her hand. “That sounds perfect. Will all this stuff be okay here?”
“No one’s going to bother it. And we won’t go too far.”
They left their shoes in the pavilion and walked toward the surf hand-in-hand. Jude’s heart beat a little faster as Logan’s thumb caressed her palm between their entwined fingers.
“Last night--” he began.
“I want to tell you--” she said at the same moment.
They both laughed, and Logan tightened his grip. “Normally I would say, ladies first. But not right now.” A small wave rush up to cover their feet.
“Last night was the most amazing experience of my life. I’ve been thinking about it all day. And I’ve been worrying, too.”
Jude glanced up at him. “Worrying? Why?”
Logan pulled her closer, tucking her beneath his arm. She felt him take a deep breath. “Because falling in love with your best friend’s wife—even when she’s his widow—is tricky business.”
If a rogue wave had suddenly risen over the beach and knocked Jude to the ground, she would have been less shocked. She stopped walking and stood with wide eyes, robbed of all breath.
“You really didn’t know?” Logan tipped her chin up to look into her eyes. “Jude, we slept together last night. More importantly, I made love to you. It didn’t occur to you that maybe it meant more than a romp in the sack?”
Almost unconsciously, she reached up and touched his cheek, fingertips tracing his jaw. “Romp in the sack? Logan, really. Of course I didn’t think that. But...love? That’s just...when? How long have you felt like this?”
Logan looked over her shoulder to the horizon. “Would it freak you out if I said I’d been in love with you for nearly thirty years?”
She jerked back, confused.
“I guess that’s a yes.” Logan caught her shoulders and pressed his lips to her forehead. “But don’t. Jude, I had a crush on you years ago. But Daniel was my friend, and everyone knew you only had eyes for him. And he always belonged to you. So, yeah, maybe if things had been different, if you had a boyfriend who was a jerk, I would’ve made a move years ago. But you didn’t. You were my best friend’s girlfriend, and then my best friend’s wife. So I made the decision not to be in love with you.”
Jude frowned. “You made a decision? How do you do that? People don’t decide who they love. It just happens.”
“To a certain extent, yes. So maybe it’s more accurate to say I made a decision not to act on that love.”
She nodded slowly. “When did you change your mind?”
Logan kept his eyes leveled on hers. “I didn’t think about it, Jude. It’s not like after Daniel—after he was gone, that I thought, hot damn, I can go for Jude now. It didn’t even cross my mind. All I wanted was to be there for you.”
“When did it change?”
“I don’t know, exactly. But one day you looked up me, laughing, and you took my breath away. I couldn’t imagine living one day without you. And making you laugh again became my top priority.”
Jude swallowed. “When were you going to tell me how you feel?”
Logan moved his hands from her shoulders up beneath her hair. He lowered his lips to cover her mouth, moving gently at first and then with more insistence. When he came up for air, he leaned his forehead against hers.
“I was going to do this.” He spread his hand back to encompass the pavilion. “But I was going to do it before we did...what we did last night.”
She looked down, toeing the sand around a shell fragment. “Are you sorry about what happened last night?”
“Hey.” He nudged her eyes up. “No. Absolutely not. I’m sorry you were so upset, and I didn’t mean to take advantage of that. But it was incredible, and I wouldn’t change that for anything.” He ran his hands down her back. “Are you sorry?”
It was something Jude had been deliberating all day, but in the moment, there was only one answer.
“No. I’m not sorry.”
Relief flooded Logan’s face, and he pulled Jude hard against him. The sun was tossing its final rays over the ocean as it sank on the other side of the world. The last beams danced over her hair until it gleamed like ebony.
A light breeze blew across the water, and in his arms, Jude shivered. Logan rubbed her bare arms.
“Let’s go back up. I have a carafe of hot coffee.”
It was nearly full-on dark as Logan seated Jude at the table again. He fumbled with something in the corner, and suddenly the pavilion was filled with twinkling white lights.
Jude gasped in pleasure. “Logan, it’s beautiful! Did you do this?”
He shrugged. “It was my idea, but to be honest, I ran out of time. So I paid Karl—the kid who works for Matt—to come string them up. I’m glad you like it.”
“I do.” She smiled up as he set a mug of coffee in front of her. “You’re full of surprises.”
Logan grinned and reached beneath the table. The background music that had set the tone for dinner shifted, became louder. Jude recognized the opening strains of Madonna’s voice as Crazy For You began to play.
Logan stood and offered a hand. “Dance with me?”
Jude rose and let him pull her close. Just as he had in her kitchen a few weeks before, he wrapped one arm around her waist and held her other hand as they swayed.
“When we were dancing at the Tide the other night, this is what I wanted to do.” With one finger beneath her chin, he tipped her lips toward his and kissed her. They moved side to side as he explored her mouth, taking his time and letting Jude set the pace. She met each stroke of his tongue with her own. Logan’s hand moved up and down her back in sensuous circles before he brought it lower and pres
sed Jude’s hips to his.
He broke his mouth away to kiss his way to her ear, where he nipped lightly at the lobe.
“Would it weird you out if I told you that I always wanted to dance with you here? Do this on the dance floor?” He moved his hand to her breast, kissing her again, this time with less leisure and more passion. The thin cotton fabric of her sundress didn’t hide much. Jude felt his fingers skimming all around the sensitive nub as his mouth left hers and traveled down her neck.
“No.” She answered his question. “It doesn’t. But you know, I never made out on the dance floor. I was too shy to do it with Daniel, in front of everyone.”
Logan smiled and slipped his fingers beneath the top of her dress, found her nipple. He rolled it gently and Jude sucked in a breath between her teeth.
She could feel evidence of his desire pressed at the juncture of her legs, and she began rethinking her objection to the secluded sand dunes.
“Logan.” She kissed his ear, sucked the sensitive lobe into her mouth and was rewarded by his groan. “Logan...can we go somewhere? My house or yours? Please?”
“Mine is closer. Is that okay?”
“Closer is good.”
Logan laughed, low and sensual.
“Let’s go.”
***
Jude had always loved Logan’s house. Its open floor plan and walls of windows looking out onto the ocean felt like an extension of the beach, one that was protected from rain, from the sometimes-intense heat and from blowing sand.
Although she’d visited the house frequently while Daniel was alive, she hadn’t been beyond the kitchen and great room since her first tour after the house was built. It felt very strange to climb the steps to Logan’s bedroom, following him as he held her hand.
The upper level of the house jutted out farther than the first floor, and with the wall of glass facing the beach, the bedroom gave the sensation of floating over the sand.
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