His expression impassive, Tad shrugged. Meeting her glance, he said gently, “It’s only an hour and a half flight to Atlanta. We can figure out a way to share the care of Will and both still have what we want in our careers.”
Abby thought back to the promise they’d made to stay together only until after the baby was born. Then the nightmarish conversation in the hospital. What was it she’d thought she’d overheard Tad say to Doc Harlan? I never should have pressured Abby to move here...but I did because... I needed her help in making the paper what it is today... And now that our baby is here... I can’t shake the feeling that...I might have gotten us into a bad situation...
She hadn’t wanted to face it then, or ask him if he’d had second thoughts about the marriage. It had been just too painful. Now she had no choice.
Having seen her parents’ bitterness and disillusionment at the end of every one of their many marriages, she’d rather she and Tad end their marriage while they were still friends. Like it or not, she told herself firmly, following his cues, he was doing them all a favor by reacting this way. This job was the graceful way out for both of them.
“SO IT’S TRUE. Abby is leaving the Blossom Weekly News,” Cindy said sadly the next morning.
Tad put the finishing touches on the ad for Abby’s replacement. “The opportunity is incredible.” And I’m the last person in the world who should stand in her way. Hadn’t he promised himself, when Billy died, that he would never be responsible for depriving anyone of the life they should have had again? In the background Sadie and Raymond exchanged concerned glances. Catching them, Tad frowned.
“But she just had your baby!” Sonny protested with all the youthful naïveté of a recent college grad.
Secretly Tad had hoped Abby would want to stay there with him, especially after all they’d been through together, building the paper to its current level of success. But, he reminded himself sternly, Abby had been honest with him from the start, telling him that, as much as she wanted to be fair about the baby and give their child a mother and father he could count on, she was not going to sacrifice the career she’d spent the past ten years building for his dreams of a permanent home and life in North Carolina.
Besides, if she didn’t want to continue their marriage by now, she never would. Tad didn’t want to lose Abby altogether. The only way he could keep her in his life without the acrimony of divorce, as in her parents’ relationship, or the coldness and strain and unspoken resentments in his own parents’ marriage was to muster all his courage and let her go gracefully. So that was, he thought resolutely, exactly what he was going to do.
ABBY WAS IN THE KITCHEN when Tad came in the back door, a cardboard box of her belongings in his arms. Raindrops dampened his shoulders and glistened in his hair, and his cheeks were rosy from the cold March air. He also looked like he’d had as rough a day as she had, trying to explain to everyone why they were splitting up. “Where do you want these?” he asked.
Abby struggled to hide her melancholy. “Dining room, I guess.”
Tad carried them in there, set them down gently and then returned.
“Is Will sleeping?”
Abby nodded, wishing this wasn’t so awkward. “Yes. I just put him down.”
Tad made several more trips. By the time he’d finished, he’d carried in six boxes that were filled to overflowing. Abby surveyed the jumbled mess. “I had no idea I had so much stuff at the newspaper.”
Tad shrugged out of his coat and looped it over the back of a chair. “So, when are you going to Atlanta to hunt for a place to live?” he asked casually.
“Personnel is going to call me tomorrow after they’ve received my signed employment contract.” Which she still hadn’t sent. “I’ll set up a house-hunting trip then.”
“But you’re expecting it to be when?” Tad pressed.
He sure was anxious to get rid of her, Abby thought irritably. She shrugged. “Next week sometime—at least that’s what I hope.” Studying the slightly aggravated, very distant light in Tad’s eyes, Abby thought maybe he was right. Maybe the sooner she wrapped up the details on this, the better.
Tad poured himself a cup of freshly brewed coffee. “Will you be leaving Will here?”
“For that particular trip, yes.” Abby turned away from the stack of thank-you letters she’d been writing. She tried not to think about how difficult it would be to be separated from William even for a few hours, never mind a few days. She studied Tad. “Unless you want me to take him with me.”
“No.” Tad lifted his cup to his lips. “I’d like to take care of him here. I can grab a couple of days off from the paper.”
Another awkward silence fell between them. Finally Abby shook her head. “I feel like I should say something to ease the tension between us,” she said quietly.
Tad turned and stared out at the bleak March day. The sky was gray. A light rain was falling and had been all day. “It’s hard to be comfortable when a marriage is splitting up.”
“True,” Abby allowed, irked that he could take this in stride so much more easily than she could, when it had been she all along who’d insisted they stay together only until after the birth.
Aware he was now watching her as carefully as she’d been watching him, Abby stubbornly marshaled her pride and steeled herself not to cry. Hearing the clothes dryer buzz, signaling the end of the cycle, she headed into the utility room. “Although I guess we should have known that our romance was way too passionate to last, at least the level it was in Paris.” It was just too bad, Abby thought as she pulled a load of warm baby clothes from the dryer, that she’d wanted it to be that way forever.
Tad watched her carry the clothes into the kitchen. She sat down in a chair and began to fold them. “I don’t know about that. Our sex life here was pretty damn passionate,” Tad said matter-of-factly, “at least when you were pregnant.”
So much so, Abby thought, that she’d allowed herself to be completely fooled about the direction of their future.
“That’s because we were both romanticizing the pregnancy and awaiting the birth of our baby,” she told him as she neatly folded a blue print sleeper. “Now William’s here and it’s a different kind of joy we’re feeling. One that is a lot more...parental.” Abby drew a bolstering breath as she turned a tiny undershirt right side out and stacked that, too. “Anyway, I love my career and know it will sustain me through life’s ups and downs, just as the newspaper will ground you in any number of ways. And,” Abby continued pragmatically, warming to the task of getting out of this marriage with at least her pride intact, “it’ll be easier for William this way.”
Easier for all three of us, she amended silently.
Abby returned to the laundry. She plucked the damp clothes from the washer and tossed them into the dryer. “Perhaps it was the impulsive way we married or the wonder of expecting our first child together, but whatever the case, you and I romanticized marriage to a ridiculous degree. And marriage isn’t a fairy tale,” she concluded as she switched on the dryer and returned to Tad’s side. “People just don’t live happily ever after these days.”
Tad finished the last of his coffee and set the mug down with a thud. “You’re right about that,” he said gruffly.
Abby looked at him, her heart sinking. If only he knew, she thought, how very much she wished he would argue with her about this, tell her she was all wrong, that marriages did last, and theirs could, too. Because she wanted to live happily ever after with him, and William, and maybe even have another child or two. But she couldn’t do it alone, she thought, studying his squared shoulders and girded thighs. She couldn’t do it at all without his help. And that, she realized reluctantly, was obviously not going to come.
“I’m going back down to the paper,” Tad said curtly, picking up his coat He looked at her like he had the hounds of hell on his heels. “If anyone needs me—” he was already striding out into the rain and the cold “—I’ll be there.”
Chapter Fourteen
“I couldn’t believe it when Abby told me you’d gone back to the office tonight. But then I couldn’t believe it when she told me she was taking that job in Atlanta, either.”
Tad swiveled away from his computer screen and faced his aunt with exasperation. It had been one heck of a day. The last thing he needed was familial interference. “Aunt Sadie, you know I love you—” he began irritably.
“I love you, too.” His aunt paced, waving her arms excitedly. “But that doesn’t mean the two of you aren’t the most stubborn shortsighted people I’ve ever seen. Furthermore, Tad McFarlane, I never thought I’d see the day when you’d be afraid to go after what you want! But here it is, anyway!”
“I’m not afraid,” Tad said grimly. Grabbing his mug, he went over to pour more coffee into it. “I’m keeping a promise I made to Abby.” Even if it was costing him dearly. He’d told her he understood her devotion to her career—and he did. He’d told her he’d support her decision to go back to work as a magazine editor as soon as the baby was born—and he had. The fact that it had come just weeks after William’s birth was a shock, but that did not in any way negate the promise he’d made. And now it was up to him to honor that promise. It didn’t matter if it felt like his heart had literally been ripped in two.
Sadie perched on the edge of his desk. Her frown deepening, she followed his gaze, then demanded, “Will you stop looking at Abby’s formal letter of resignation and listen to me? You’re going to end up looking as mournful as Buster on a bad day for the rest of your life if you aren’t careful.”
Figuring this conversation had gone on long enough, Tad tore his eyes from Abby’s letter and gave his aunt a warning glance. “Don’t you think you’re exaggerating just a bit?” he said dryly. After all, it wasn’t as if he and Abby would never see each other again. They’d agreed to rear their son together. They would likely see each other all the time. So what if it wasn’t quite the same? So what if he might not ever make love to her again or hold her through the night or enjoy the morning sunrise and the first cup of coffee of the day with her? She was going to be happy. She was returning to work she loved almost more than life. And for that reason he had to put his own selfish concerns aside and be happy for her.
“No, I do not think I’m exaggerating a bit. And quite frankly I’m furious with you. I never thought you’d let life pass you by the way I did for so many years. But I was lucky. I found Raymond and fell in love and married him.”
Tad smiled at his aunt gently. “And I’m happy for you, Aunt Sadie.”
“I know you are, honey.” Sadie watched him kick back in his chair. “But think of all the time I wasted earlier in my life by being so shortsighted and foolish and picky and afraid to really invest myself in any one relationship.” She paused, her expression mirroring the sadness he felt deep inside. “You and Abby have a child, Tad. You have a marriage. Don’t let either of them go.”
“I HAVE TO TELL YOU, Abby,” Yvonne said as Abby tried for the hundredth time to put the signed employment contract into the envelope that would be express-mailed to Atlanta first thing the next morning, right after she had spoken to the publisher and accepted the job. “The magazine-business rumor mill is going crazy! Is it true? Are you going to be the new editor-in-chief of Southern Home and Garden magazine?”
Abby finally put the employment contract down and switched the telephone to her other ear. “They’ve asked and given me forty-eight hours to decide.” Briefly Abby filled Yvonne in on all the perks that came with the job. “If I accept, I’ll have to cut my maternity leave a little short and head for Atlanta right away, but they’ll let me bring the baby to work for the first year.” Abby paced over to the bassinet, where William slept soundly.
“Wow.”
Yeah, wow, Abby thought as she lightly, lovingly smoothed William’s soft cheek. The job was a dream. The perks were incredible. After ten years of working nonstop for just such an opportunity, she ought to be walking on air. But instead, all she could think was that she was leaving Tad and taking their baby with her, and that Tad was more than willing to have her go.
Not that that should’ve been a surprise to her, though. She’d known from the outset that Tad’s dream of one day owning and running his own newspaper had meant more to him than she did. The two of them had split up less than twenty-four hours after they’d first tied the knot for just that reason. Had it not been for the fact that she was carrying his baby, they never would have lived together and stayed together for all those months.
“You don’t sound excited.”
Tears blurring her eyes, Abby paced away from the bassinet. “I’m not.”
“Because of the baby?” Yvonne prodded gently.
“It’s everything,” Abby said, and then to her horror, burst into sobs.
“Oh, honey,” Yvonne clucked sympathetically.
“It’s hormones,” Abby sniffed, trying to stifle her tears with her fist. “Postpartum ones this time.” That had to be it. She could not be falling apart just because the marriage she’d never for one minute really expected to last was breaking up.
“Well, you know what they say,” Yvonne said. “Pregnancy is supposed to be one long roller-coaster ride. And you had one heck of a time, seeing William through his illness and waiting for him to get better.”
“You’ll get no argument there.” Abby plucked a tissue from the box and blew her nose. Her life with Tad had been a roller-coaster ride from start to finish. And she was so sorry it was over. She’d gotten to like—no, love—having Tad in her life.
There was a brief silence on the other end of the line. “How is Tad taking all this?” Yvonne asked gently.
Abby swallowed around the growing knot of emotion in her throat and tried to get a grip on herself. “He doesn’t seem to care what I do either way.”
“Now, Abby, I am sure that’s not true!”
Abby thought about Tad’s immediate assumption she would take the job in Atlanta, never mind that their baby had just been born and they’d have to live in two different cities. If that wasn’t pushing her out the door with both hands, if that wasn’t letting her know her days as his wife were over, she didn’t know what was. “Unfortunately it is.”
“Then steal a page from his book and seduce him into changing his mind,” Yvonne said, practical as ever.
Abby flushed. “He never seduced me into anything!”
“I beg to differ. Any man who convinces a woman to marry him during a whirlwind weekend romance in Paris has also seduced her into wanting what he wants.”
“Not really,” Abby murmured wistfully, as she thought back to the weekend that had so changed her life. “To tell you the truth, I wanted all that, anyway,” Abby confided. “The husband, the home, the baby. A personal life aside from my work.” And for a brief time, she’d had it.
“Aha! I thought you were a closet romantic.”
Abby massaged her temples. “Yeah, well, I was always afraid to admit it for fear I’d get it all, then have it taken away.” She hadn’t wanted to feel deeply or let herself be vulnerable or love a man more than life. But she had.
“And you did have it all with Tad, didn’t you?” Yvonne asked gently.
Suddenly the lump was back in Abby’s throat, big-time. “You saw us together. You know we did.”
“Then what are you doing talking to me,” Yvonne demanded in exasperation, “when you could be going after what you really want, right this instant?”
HALF AN HOUR LATER Abby was headed for the phone again when the doorbell rang. Sadie and Raymond stood on the other side. “I was just going to call you,” Abby said as she fastened her earrings.
Sadie cast an admiring glance at the sexy black cocktail dress Abby hadn’t worn since that fateful weekend in Paris. “You were?”
Abby paused to slip on a pair of heels. “Yep.” She . searched through the front-hall closet for a suitable wrap. “I need a baby-sitter. Pronto.”
Raymond helped Sadie with her rainc
oat and took off his. “William asleep?”
Abby nodded. “And he’s just been fed and diapered.”
“Sounds like we’re all set, then,” Raymond said. Because Tad had the Jeep, Raymond handed Abby the keys to his sedan.
“Might we ask where you’re going?” Sadie asked.
Abby looked Sadie square in the eye. “To find that husband of mine. He and I have some straightening out to do.”
IT WAS TEN in the evening and Tad was still toying with the wording on the newspaper advertisement he was composing when the door opened and shut. In stormed Abby, looking incredibly beautiful and loaded for bear.
Slim as the day he’d met her, thanks in no small part to the stress of the past few weeks, the only change in her willowy form was the added lusciousness of her breasts.
Pausing long enough to hang her coat on the rack next to the front door, she strode toward him resolutely, her high heels clicking on the polished wooden floor. Her expression both defiant and determined, she reached in front of him, picked up her letter of resignation, ripped it up with a flourish and then dropped the pieces of it in front of him.
Tad stared at her, aware she’d never looked more feisty or beautiful than she did at that very minute, in the short and sassy black cocktail dress.
His heart pounding, he looked at the papers she’d so dramatically shredded in front of him, then back at her face. He hoped like heck this all meant what he hoped it did. But with Abby, and the way her moods had been going up and down lately, there was no telling.
He sat back in his chair, determined to play this every bit as mysteriously as his wife. Blue eyes sparkling with unbridled mischief—and challenge that matched her own—he looked her up and down slowly, his eyes lingering on the fullness of her breasts and the slenderness of her hips, before once again returning to her face. “Mind telling me what the meaning of that little gesture was?” he drawled lazily.
Make Room for Baby Page 20