by Trina M. Lee
It must’ve happened when I fell on the ice. I hadn’t noticed at the time, thanks to the adrenaline. “This is nothing. Just a scratch. You got the worst of it.” Feeling weird, I pulled away and began gathering the first aid supplies off the coffee table.
The apartment door opened and Rowen all but flew inside. Amber eyes wide, his gaze darted between Arrow and me. “What happened?”
“Arrow needs to go to the emergency room,” I answered quickly. “We’ll explain later.”
I tried to tell myself it was Arrow’s wellbeing that concerned me most rather than keeping Rowen from finding out I’d almost gotten his brother killed. He really did need to see a doctor.
“No, I don’t,” Arrow piped up. “I’m fine, bro. You didn’t have to come.”
Rowen crossed the living room to Arrow and pulled the bag of corn away from his face. “My God, Arrow, you look like shit. How are you not dead?”
With a pained smirk, Arrow shrugged. “I ask myself that every night.”
“He needs stitches.” I ignored the glare Arrow shot me.
“Does someone want to tell me what happened?” Rowen shoved the corn back into Arrow’s hand. “Did this happen at The Spirit Room?”
Arrow and I exchanged a look. I sighed. “No. I dragged Arrow to the Black Market. We ran into a little trouble. This is all on me.”
Rowen studied me, a knowing expression on his ridiculously perfect face. “Is this about Dash? Spike, please, you have to leave it alone.”
A surge of anger spiked my temper. Where Rowen was concerned my emotions were irrational and off the wall, all over the place. Having a demon tell me to stay away from someone I loved didn’t work for me. I refused to just accept that.
“I can’t, Rowen. I won’t. You chose to handle this one way, and I’m choosing to handle it another.” Crossing my arms, I regarded him with a raised brow. He’d made a decision without me, one that hurt me more than I could ever say. I wouldn’t let him dictate what I do.
“My choice saved your life. If you get yourself killed, then that will have been for nothing.” He spoke calmly, but the fire in his eyes grew, revealing his irritation. Turning to Arrow, he added, “Same goes for you. I can’t be worrying about you guys. And I need you to trust me. I’m working an angle with Dash.”
Gazing at Rowen made my chest tight. A self-professed commitment-phobe, my adoration for him had blind-sided me. And again, when he’d broken it off with me in front of the demon demanding my life, I’d been no less shocked.
I understood his reasons, and I knew his love for me hadn’t changed. Yet every day we were apart, the uncertainty grew, and I wondered if this really were just for now. There was no doubt in my mind that I could survive just fine without Rowen. I just didn’t want to.
“Well,” I said, my anger fading as fast as it had come on. “Maybe I’m working my own angle. You can’t just expect me to do nothing, Rowen. As long as you’re around that demon, you’re in danger.”
Arrow jumped in, quick to remind his brother who he was dealing with. “You can’t work angles with demons, dude. They’re always two steps ahead of you. He’ll see that shit coming a mile away.”
Quiet descended as the three of us exchanged glances. We tried to live ordinary lives, pursuing music and some kind of normalcy. But we’d been born with immortal blood in our veins, and normal we would never be.
“I can handle Dash.” Solemn, Rowen scrubbed a hand over his chin. “He needs me. I can use it to my advantage. But I need you two to stay safe.”
Corn bag pressed to his face, Arrow regarded Rowen with one eye. “You don’t know Dash like I do, man. It’s not gonna be that simple. You have to be careful.”
“I will, but I need you both to promise me the same.” There was no arguing with Rowen when his jaw clenched in determination.
“Fine,” I relented. “I’ll be more careful, but you can’t expect me to stay out of it. I’m the flame bearer, Rowen, the one born to bring nephilim back to the light. That means you.”
Our eyes locked and the tension grew. I could feel it inside me, filling me until I expected I’d burst.
“Arrow, why don’t you head downstairs?” Rowen suggested, never taking his gaze from mine. “I’ll be right down to take you to the hospital. You’ve got to get that shit looked at.”
“Fine.” Arrow staggered to his feet, throwing a hand out to steady himself. “Can we stop at Denny’s for breakfast first? I’m fucking starving.”
Rowen tossed the long front piece of his blue mohawk out of his eyes and muttered, “Just go downstairs. I need a minute with Spike.”
“Spike.” Arrow held the bag of corn out to me. “Thanks for the corn, and an interesting night. Let’s do it again sometime.”
I waved him off, gripped with nerves at the thought of being alone with Rowen. “Keep it. Take it easy, hey?”
Arrow ambled to the door, pausing to toss back, “Easy is my middle name. See ya later, angel girl.”
Then he was gone. The door closed behind him, the click of the latch especially loud in the sudden silence.
Rowen and I both began to speak at the same time. We stumbled to a stop and laughed awkwardly. I motioned for him to go first.
“I hate how little time we get together,” he said, ducking his head to hide the raw agony that crept into his eyes. “I don’t want to spend the few minutes we have alone arguing.”
I gave him a light punch in the shoulder. “Then don’t argue.”
Our time together had been severely limited since our break up. Dash had too many watchdogs, possibly even some that were human, able to watch us undetected. The only time we saw each other now was in public, at The Spirit Room usually, our mutual hang out.
“I miss you.” His voice cracked, so he let that proclamation hang between us.
My lungs froze. Of course it was what I wanted to hear, but in that moment, after several weeks of anguish and uncertainty, I didn’t know what to say. “Well… good. You damn well better.”
The scent of his cologne tickled my nose as he pulled me close. His arms went around me, and inside I collapsed into a blubbering mess. On the outside I remained calm and composed, but still I melted into his embrace.
A sigh escaped me. Rowen’s lips met mine, and every desire I’d held captive threatened to explode free. With great effort I kept from purging the emotion that racked me.
Arms around his neck, I grabbed a handful of the mohawk that lay down against the back of his head. Without the goop he used to stand it up, it felt so soft. I missed the way it felt sliding between my fingers. I kissed him like it was our first and last. And then I pushed him away.
“I can’t do this, Rowen. You have no idea how bad I want to, but stolen kisses and secret meetings aren’t enough for me.” Son of a bitch this hurt. Those eyes, they gutted me. “It’s just so hard.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” He reached for my hand, and I let him take it. “I promised you this was just for now, and I meant it. If you don’t want to wait, I understand. I just, I want… I need you to know that everything I’m doing is for you.” Normally calm, cool Rowen stumbled over his words.
All I wanted was to erase that frown from his face. But I didn’t know how. “Let’s not forget Arrow,” I teased, trying to lighten the heavy mood that had fallen. “You’ve been taking care of him for years.”
A slight smile lifted his lips. “Doing his laundry and making sure he doesn’t drown in his own vomit isn’t exactly sacrificial love. Or maybe it is. I don’t know. He might benefit from my agreement with Dash, but I never did it for him. You need to start believing that. It has always been about you, Spike.”
I squeezed his hand, savoring the way it felt in mine. My shoulders sagged. This love shit was a real kick in the ass. I remembered why I’d written it off as not for me. Staring into worried amber eyes reminded me why I’d changed my mind about that.
“On some level I understand. If I were in your shoes, I’d probably do the same thing. At the time, i
n front of Dash, it felt like being thrown under the bus. I know you didn’t want to hurt me, but you did. And I’m still trying to figure out what to do with that.” I paused, choking on my next words when his face fell. “I wanted us to be a team. Now we’re on opposite sides. It’s a tough thing to get over.”
“We are a team, Spike. We just have to divide to conquer. I know it doesn’t make sense right now, but it will. Trust me.” He gazed at the door and groaned. “I wish I didn’t have to leave.”
I smiled, thinking of Arrow pacing impatiently in the lobby. “Where would Arrow be without you?”
“Dead. Or worse.” Rowen laughed but it lacked mirth. “Hey, I need you to do something for me, ok? I need you to get Koda to tell you why he wants the triad to fail. I’m sure he’s the one who had Arrow try to kill me. Wouldn’t surprise me if he tried again as time runs short.”
Time. We didn’t have much now.
Dash awaited a particular alignment of the planets. He would use the power of that event to unleash Rowen’s full power so the triad could then do whatever it was he planned. If we didn’t find a way to stop him first.
Said planetary alignment was scheduled to occur a week after the New Year, which itself was just days away, along with the big party we’d been invited to play. It had been difficult to embrace the festive season knowing this was right around the corner. Spending the holidays with my mom had been nice but strained, as we both knew what awaited me back at home. Regardless, I’d been eager to get back here.
Likewise it was hard to be as psyched for our show as I should be. Three local bands, including Crimson Sin and Molly’s Chamber, were opening for two big name touring bands. The local rock station put on the event each year. It would be a hell of a New Year’s Eve party and a fantastic opportunity. And yet, everything coming down the wire with Dash overshadowed it.
“Koda isn’t going to tell me anything.” Pursing my lips, I recalled the events of earlier that evening. “Especially after the crap he pulled tonight. How’s Jett by the way?”
“She’s fine. Sore but she’ll heal fast. Give her a call.” Rowen gazed toward the door as if it hurt him to leave. It hurt me. “I know Koda is a pain to deal with, but you’ve got to try. You’re the only one who might stand a chance at getting it out of him.”
Getting anything out of Koda would take some effort. The demon had been tasked with luring me to evil, and somewhere along the way, he’d become obsessed. Watching me fall for Rowen and choose the light had changed him, made him meaner. And sometimes, downright ominous in ways he had never been.
“I’ll try, but don’t count on him confiding in me like we’re best friends. He won’t give up anything without getting something in return.” Knowing Rowen was about to walk out the door made it harder to let go of him when he gently pulled away.
Darkness passed over Rowen’s face. “Whatever you do, don’t give him what he really wants. I don’t need to know that bad.”
“Not a chance.” Against the advice of the inner voice telling me not to, I kissed him. If Arrow wasn’t waiting downstairs, I’d have had to fight the urge to get everything I could out of this short-lived visit. Breaking apart tested my resolve.
Rowen didn’t say goodbye. He lingered near the door as if he too had to fight the urge to stay. With a hand on the knob, he said, “Thanks for keeping him alive.” And then he went, his quiet footfalls fading in the hallway.
I locked up and prepared for bed. After going through my routine of teeth brushing and face washing, I lay in bed tossing and turning. And tossing some more.
CHAPTER FIVE
The breath whooshed out of me in a painful slap of my lungs. For the third time in twenty minutes, I found myself flat out on the hard mat, staring at the ceiling. Cinder stood over me shaking his head.
“You’re not well rested and in no way prepared,” he scolded. “I assume this is due to the unauthorized trip you took to the Black Market last night.”
Wincing, I sat up, concentrating on each pained breath. “It might be.”
Sword in hand, dressed in a t-shirt and sweat pants, Cinder’s expression revealed exactly what he thought of my outing to the demon market. Still, he decided to tell me anyway.
“I don’t have to repeat how dangerous that place is. Unless you’re sent there on a recovery mission, you must resist the urge to go there. I worry for you.” The furrowing of his brows caused the scar slashing through the right one to bunch. I’d never asked how it had happened. Angels and demons healed upon injury. Whatever or whomever had scarred him, it had to have some serious mojo.
With a grunt I shoved to my feet and pushed my long black ponytail back over my shoulder. I retrieved the Midnight Star from where it had fallen and turned back to face him. “I know you do. Please don’t think I’m ungrateful. I appreciate you, Cinder. But I need to do something. Time is running out.” Raising the sword, I gestured to the one he held. “Ready to go again?”
He tossed his sword from one hand to the other before twirling it with an artistic flair. Show off. “The question is, are you ready? I put you down three times now. Your mind isn’t in it. So where is it?”
Mildly annoyed, I feigned left, then slashed right. My blade sliced through the air, headed for his side. He never fell for the feint and instead met my blade with his in a crash of metal. “My mind is just fine. Currently occupied with finding a way to keep Dash from unleashing Rowen’s full power. I can’t just sit back and pretend it’s not going to happen.” I tried to counter his block by whipping my blade down toward his legs before going for a head shot.
Cinder blocked every move. He used our joined blades to force me back, shoving me hard against one of the mat-covered walls. The rental space we’d been using for training was equipped for such sessions. However, it still didn’t keep me from leaving with bruises every time.
“You love him.” Cinder stated the obvious, never breaking a sweat or breathing hard as he gave me another shove for good measure. “I understand your desire to protect him, but risky behavior is not the way to do that. I fear your need for vengeance is clouding your judgment.”
Backed against the wall, unable to use my sword, I let out a frustrated snarl and flung a fireball in his face. “What would you have me do, Cinder? Nothing? That’s not an option.”
My fireball rolled over him and dissipated, leaving him untouched. He backed away, giving me a chance to gather myself. “I would have you spend some time in thought. Meditate on the situation. You’re blinded by emotion. That is no way to win a battle, much less a war.”
I swiped a hand over my sweaty forehead. We’d been at this for an hour, and I was exhausted. Late nights and little sleep never made for good training sessions. “Dash tried to kill me. He sabotaged my relationship. And now he’s going to do something awful to Rowen. You’re damn right I’m blinded by emotion.” Tossing the Midnight Star down on the mat, I sat heavily beside it. My chest heaved and my lungs burned. At least I’d managed to give up smoking.
Cinder’s violet gaze rested heavily upon me. A moment later he sat down next to me. His scruff of dark-blond hair had barely been disheveled. “There are many things at work during this time. For one, you must trust Rowen to make the right choices when the time comes. Dash can only force so much. Rowen will always have free will.” Gently he tugged my ponytail and smiled. “You will have your role to play as well. As we all do in such times. However, reckless decisions will have consequences, and I don’t wish to see you suffer them.”
Friend. Fashion victim. Angel. Cinder was all this and more. It was impossible to stay annoyed with him. He spoke truths I often didn’t want to hear though I knew I needed to. So many times he’d overlooked my bad behaviors and poor choices, choosing to love instead of judge and guide rather than abandon. I didn’t want to let him down. And yet, I felt this insistence inside me, this urgent call to do something. I wished I knew what.
“Thank you.” I patted his arm, wishing I could assure him as much as he
did me. “I know you only want the best for me. But I can’t shake this feeling that there’s something I have to do.”
“Most certainly there is,” he agreed. “I only ask that you think it through before taking any action. Because there will always be a reaction. I do trust your judgment, Ember. I just want you to be careful.”
“Noted.” I flopped back on the mat, groaning as sore muscles from last night and today tortured me.
Cinder chuckled, enjoying my pain. “Now, shall we discuss your next recovery assignment? It seems to be beneficial to have you take on these tasks.”
I agreed; they did help to hone my skills and keep me focused. Something I could use right about now. “As long as it has nothing to do with Nova, I’m game.”
Cinder’s chuckle turned to a frown. “I won’t be sending you to him again. I hadn’t expected him to become so fascinated with you. His tastes tend to run more toward the succubi. He enjoys his own kind. I don’t want to give him any more reason to believe he might enjoy you.”
I made a noise of disgust at the memory of the demon’s creepy but arousing touch. “Ick. Me neither. So what’s the assignment?”
Recovery jobs had the potential to be dangerous and scary. Yet when I was in the moment, tracking whatever item Cinder needed to have back in the hands of the angels, I felt like I was doing something important.
Dash had been the first to reveal to me that I was the flame bearer, the one to bear the Midnight Star and lead the nephilim from darkness. I’d come to learn it was a generational gift. No one flame bearer could liberate them all. Not all of them would even want it. Yet some of them would be mine to lead. Rowen and Arrow had been thrust into my life, and the weight of what that meant weighed heavily upon me. But recovery jobs allowed me to break free of my role, to go after something and take it back from the darkness. It gave me the sense of accomplishment I needed right now.
“A statue in the possession of a fortune teller,” Cinder said, all business. “It’s made of black onyx carved into a fox. It belongs to a trickster demon known for mischief and deception. The possessor of the statue can tap into his abilities. Naturally, we don’t want it in the hands of just anyone.”