Brock rose and his younger self opened his eyes and followed the lead. They smiled at each other.
“This is going to be a little weird and yet make all the sense in the world. I love you, Brock. You’ve set me free.” He grabbed himself in a bear hug and held on till the dream faded and Karissa’s voice called to him from the edge of sleep.
Chapter 57
MAY 24, 2015
I’ll go.”
Brock opened his eyes to find Karissa standing in the door frame of their bedroom dressed in black jeans and a white blouse. He blinked hard to pull himself awake.
“What?”
“I’ll go to the waterslides.”
“Really?”
“I want to hear this story.”
She turned away without smiling, but it didn’t matter. Her answer sent Brock’s heart soaring.
By nine thirty they were sailing up I-5 under a blue sky peppered with white clouds.
“You ready to tell me your amazing tale?”
“Yes.” Brock glanced at her, then turned back to the road. “But it’s insane.”
“I’m ready for a little insane. Part of me is insane for not staying at my sister’s.”
The words bit, but not hard, because he could tell she didn’t really mean it.
“Promise you won’t think I’m crazy?”
“Yes.”
When he finished Karissa was silent for three miles. Brock would let her sit in her contemplation as long as she wanted. As they passed the Arlington exit she extended her hand and offered it to him. Brock took it and held it tight. When they reached the outskirts of Mt. Vernon, she broke the silence.
“Can I make a suggestion?”
“Anything.”
“Maybe ask Tyson on a backpacking trip? Maybe see if you could start cooking together?”
Brock nodded. “I’m going to make up a list of ‘meals’ that he and I can share together. Meals like taking a cooking class. A backpacking trip. Going to a Seahawks game, dirt biking. Appetizers like a movie night, video game night, go to the driving range together.”
“You don’t dirt bike or golf.”
“Gimme a break . . . I’m brainstorming here.” He smiled.
“I like it.” She squeezed his hand. “Tyson will too.”
“I hope so.”
“I know he will,” Karissa said. “Mind if I get a few tunes going?”
“Good call.”
She reached into the backseat to search Brock’s case of CDs. She came forward with it a few seconds later and rummaged through it before pulling out a CD cover and holding it up. “How ’bout Steve Miller?”
Brock glanced at the CD cover and a bolt of adrenaline shot through him. Impossible. Utterly impossible. He sucked in a quick breath and the words sputtered out.
“Where did you get that? Whose is it?”
“What are you talking about?”
He glanced at the CD again, thinking his eyes might have deceived him the first time.
“Look at the cover!” Brock tried to steady his breathing. “Where did you get that CD?”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t you remember? I owned the early version. I never bought the . . . but when I was on the PCT in my dream I told Young Brock to—”
“Buy the Young Hearts CD that came out in 2003.” As Karissa spoke the words, the CD case slipped from her hands. She turned her body toward him. “Oh my gosh. What are you saying?”
“I’m not dreaming. I know I’m not. So how could . . . ? Impossible.”
Karissa just laughed and smiled as wide as Brock had ever seen.
“How . . . this is impossible,” Brock repeated. What else was there to say?
“And after all you’ve been through you still don’t think God can handle the impossible?”
“So was it real?” Brock’s body flushed with heat. “Part of it? All of it?”
“You know what?” Karissa picked up the CD and gazed at it. “I don’t think this is the last piece of evidence we’ll find.”
“But . . . that story . . . my dream-world story ended. It’s over. What is God doing?”
Karissa took his right hand off the steering wheel in both of hers and kissed his fingers. “I think he’s telling us our story and the restoration of so many things isn’t ending. It’s just begun.”
A Note from the Author
Dear Friend,
Usually it takes me a while to appreciate my novels. I see all the little flaws that remain when the story is finished. Eventually I come around, but not for a while. But not this time. As I read the book for the final time (trying to find any remaining typos and words that needed to be fixed), the story captured me and I found myself reading it as a reader, not a critical editor.
I suppose that’s because Brock’s story is my story. There’s a large part of me that wishes I could go back and fix the things I did wrong. Part of me longs to tell the twenty-three-year-old James L. Rubart all the things he should have done differently.
But in the end what I truly yearn for is redemption. A second chance. For the Lord to open my eyes to how I can change right now, in this present moment. And he has done that for me, and continues to do that just as I know he will do it for you. I don’t believe anything in our lives is too far gone for the Lord to bring restoration.
All we need to do is surrender to his unquenchable grace and love, and step deeper into the story he is still writing for us in every moment.
To your freedom,
James L. Rubart
June 2015
Acknowledgments
To (my wife) Darci, for coming up with the entire premise that inspired this story and being my rock through the always arduous journey called writing a novel.
To my editor Amanda Bostic for being courageous enough to tell me the first version of this story just didn’t work (she was so right!), helping me figure out the next version, and being an amazing friend through that challenging process.
To Erin Healy, my editor, who I’d heard was legendary for her skill at shaping a story and who exceeded the reputation.
To Ruth for once again being a first reader of the first draft (the only person who has read every first draft of all of my novels) and for making me feel so good when she said how much she loved it.
To Ron for giving me wonderful ideas for the story, giving me the name Black Fedora, being an insightful first reader, and being such an incredible friend during the insane time of my life that came while writing this story.
To Susie and David Warren for their staggering brilliance in shaping the plot of Five Times. You two are awesome.
To Allen Arnold for walking beside me like a true brother every step of this novel’s journey.
To Jesus for taking me through the fire and for taking the shadow of the first version of this story and turning it into one I believe he will use to set people free.
Discussion Questions
1. Which character did you relate to most in The Five Times I Met Myself?
2. What themes stood out to you in the story?
3. Throughout the Bible God uses dreams to perform powerful works in people’s lives, as he did in Brock’s life in this story. Have you ever had a dream that changed your life?
4. Had you heard of lucid dreaming before reading The Five Times I Met Myself?
5. Even if you hadn’t heard about lucid dreaming, do you now realize you’ve had this kind of dream? If yes, what was it like?
6. If you had the chance to go back and talk to your younger self, would you do it?
7. If you did go back, what would you want to tell yourself?
8. Have you ever had a dream where you were younger? What did it feel like?
9. Beth became a tremendous friend to Brock. Do you have a friend like her? Are you a friend like that to someone?
10. At the end of the story, Brock realizes while in one way nothing has changed, in another, everything about his life has changed. Have you had an experience th
at made you feel that way? What happened?
11. Brock has to face the truth that he tried to get his validation from his company—but that the only true validation in his life can come from his relationship with God. Have you tried to get your validation from things or people other than God? Why do you think we do that?
12. Brock experiences great freedom when he finally surrenders everything he is to the Lord. Have you experienced that type of surrender and that type of freedom? Do you think it happens once, or do we need to continue the act of complete surrender on an ongoing basis?
13. In the final pages of The Five Times I Met Myself we get a hint that some of the things that happened to Brock were more than just in his mind. Did you like that idea? Not like it? Why?
14. At the end of the story, Brock is determined to change his relationship with Karissa, Tyson, and Ron. Are there relationships in your life you’d like to change? If there are, are there things you can do to accomplish that?
About the Author
James L. Rubart is a professional marketer and speaker. He is the author of the bestselling novel Rooms as well as Book of Days, The Chair, and the Well Spring Novels. He lives with his wife and sons in the Pacific Northwest.
Website: www.jameslrubart.com
Twitter: @jameslrubart
Facebook: JamesLRubart
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