“I guess I had been silent for a minute while thinking about it—the woman asked if I was okay. I recovered, smiled, and said I just missed them. And now everyone was boarding, so the woman got up, told me she’d say a prayer for me—it seemed like such a useless gesture—and then headed off to die. And I sat quietly while everyone left the terminal to board, because that was my job and I always just did my job without thinking about it. But now I could feel a pit in my stomach as the people calmly walked onto the transport. It bothered me; I hadn’t felt anything about killing people in a long time, but I just assumed it would pass.
“I went with my team to a backroom area we’d set up to monitor the transport and confirm our kill. While I waited for it to undock from the station and jump, I tried to assess what had happened to me. I seemed to have been affected by the notion that my parents would have hated what I had become, but then I reminded myself that my parents were just some of the worthless ‘innocents’ the syndicates stomped on all the time, so it didn’t matter what they would have thought. Of course, if my parents were so contemptible, what exactly was I so angry about that had me on this path in the first place? I started to realize how pointless and hollow my existence was, just violence with no real end in sight, just because it gave me the illusion of having a purpose. But I had been loved by my parents….That was the last time I ever felt content. I had written love off, thinking it was something I would never have again, that all I had left to embrace was emptiness. I was on a slow march into the abyss. And as much as I had convinced myself that killing people was meaningless, I knew if I let these innocent people die, that was an abyss I would be stuck in forever. And that finally terrified me.
“‘We have to stop this,’ I said. My coworkers looked at me, but it’s like they couldn’t hear or understand what I said. So I took a deep breath and said it louder. And they just stared at me. And then one of them went for a gun, but I was quicker and killed them all. I ran to a radio to tell the ship to wait…” She took a long pause, trying to wade out of a horrible memory. “…but I was too late.”
“You tried to stop it,” I said. Technically, whether she was remorseful or not, those people were still dead, so it seemed to hardly matter, but people always tend to put heavy weight on intentions.
“I was a coward, and I waited too long to remember that I was a human being. Now all those people are dead. I guess if I really was remorseful, I would have confessed and turned myself in.”
I put my hand on her shoulder. “Wouldn’t Nystrom have gotten to you immediately if you’d done that?”
“Yes, they would have killed me pretty quickly if I’d ever been in police custody…yet that still feels like I’m making excuses.” She still didn’t look at me—just stared off into nothing.
“It’s still considered an accident; no one even knows there’s justice to be served. After the transport’s destruction I went into survival mode, knowing Nystrom would be after me. I had some money, but I didn’t have anywhere to go. And my first order of business was to get off the starport the transport had docked at. I realized lots of people change the transport they’re leaving on at the last minute, and Nystrom had gotten us access to the station’s database, so it would be easy to make it look like someone who had been killed on the transport had switched her schedule, and then I’d just take her place. I just had to find a human woman who somewhat resembled me. I found one, about the same age, and she was even an orphan heading to a brand new planet for a job, so no one would recognize her. She was a police officer, but I figured I could find another way off Nar Valdum before that became an issue. I saw the picture of the woman I would be replacing—she was the one who’d asked about my parents. Who’d said she’d pray for me.” She teared up a little.
“So I put the dead bodies of my coconspirators out an air lock, changed Diane Thompson’s data to match my picture and identifying markers, switched her schedule, and got on the new transport. And then I realized exactly how alone I was. I was long since estranged from any of my family, and the only people I knew, my Nystrom contacts, would be out to kill me if they ever found me. All I knew was that I wanted to change what I was—what I had become. And I was scared, because I knew I couldn’t do it on my own; I wasn’t strong enough. I thought of the story of the prodigal son—how his father ran to embrace him when he gave up his wicked ways and returned home. But there was no father to greet me, no home to return to. I had nothing, and all I knew was how to lie and kill. I wanted to change my ways, but it seemed inevitable that I would fail. And then I thought of a brilliant solution—one way to make sure Nystrom never got to me and I never went back to my old ways and hurt anyone else. As soon as I got to Nar Valdum and could get some time alone, I was going to kill myself.
“After the transport docked above Nar Valdum, I spent the ride down to the planet’s surface thinking of ways to do it. It would be the last thing I’d do, so I wanted to at least get that right. And it wasn’t like I had to write a note, since there wasn’t really anyone who’d care. I’d just be gone, and the universe would be better for it and wouldn’t even notice my passing….
“These were my thoughts as I walked through the landing station. And then someone yelled, ‘There she is!’ I almost panicked, but then I saw all these smiling people who were so happy—so overjoyed—to see me. And then a woman—Hana—ran up to me, crying, and hugged me. She said, ‘Thank God! We thought you were dead!’ And, for the first time in ages, I cried too.
“Diane had contacted a church on Nar Valdum to make sure she wouldn’t be alone there—to make sure I wouldn’t be alone.” Tears started streaming down Diane’s face. “To make sure that when I returned home, there would be people running to embrace me and welcome me back. Despite all I had done, God had forgiven me and wanted me to have a second chance.” She was quiet for a moment, smiling in her memory, but eventually the smile faded and she wiped away the tears and looked at me. “And now all I can think is that if I had killed myself, Hana and her family would still be alive.”
I didn’t know if she said that out of frustration or was seriously considering suicide again. I felt I should do something, but once again I was extremely ill equipped to know what that was. I pulled her closer to me, and she rested her head on my chest. “If you did that, I never would have met you.”
She laughed. “And that’s been nothing but a blessing, right?”
It was hard to say. She certainly had changed me. “Just don’t discount the value of your own life.” I’d never really cared before if someone else lived or died; that did seem to make her special.
“My life isn’t mine to take anyway. I just don’t know what I can do with it that’s of use to anyone. It seems so stupid now that I thought I could reform myself while living a lie. Look what I brought on the people who showed me such love when I didn’t deserve it. And if Nystrom decides to go after more of my friends from church, I’m powerless to stop them. They’re too powerful, and they control the police force. And if somehow Nystrom were defeated, it would mean nothing to the universe as a whole, since that would just leave the other syndicates in power. Just look at the officials attending the conference! All of them are….”
Diane was silent a moment, and then she smiled. More my type of smile. She sat up and faced me. “I told you before that I’ve been working in my spare time tracing the syndicates’ connections within the government, and I can identify every major player at the conference as being in the pocket of one syndicate or another. And knowing that Nystrom is planning something, all the players have brought more security in the form of syndicate thugs. I mean, all the syndicates want to destroy each other, but they’re all going to be in a room together playing nice, because they think Nystrom overstepped with Zaldia and there is a chance to eliminate them. But all those criminals, all those murderers, will be pretending to be civilized for the cameras, and most people won’t notice a thing.”
I smiled too. “Unless we put a match to that powder keg.”
“Exactly! We’re too small to fight them, but we can get them to fight each other. They won’t destroy themselves, but with a big enough spectacle we can at least open everyone’s eyes and show them who exactly controls the government now.” Her smile grew wider. “I think this is something we can do.” She finally noticed her bare chest and pulled up the sheets to cover herself.
I wasn’t so sure that rubbing everyone’s faces in the fact that they were surrounded by criminals would amount to anything, but I loved the mission idea. All the major syndicates were going to be in a room together, and we just had to get them to erupt into an orgy of violence. Nystrom would have their own people in place to seize control when Gredler was eliminated, but if those people were dead along with all the other syndicates’ “respectable” frontmen, there would be no one to seize control—no quick path back to normality—only chaos and a lot of criminals now out in the open to deal with. Nystrom’s plans of easily grabbing control would be ruined along with the plans of any other syndicates for holding the reins of power in secret.
It wouldn’t be easy to get all the syndicates to turn on each other, though, as they’d all be very careful not to cause a disturbance and draw attention to themselves. In all likelihood, were Gredler shot in front of them, they’d even play that low-key. Still, it seemed like a doable mission. We just had to figure out the right impetus so they couldn’t help but attack each other. “We’ll need to find some way to get access to the conference hall.”
“Agent Dawson would know how to get us access.” I could see a glimmer in her eyes that said she was looking for vengeance for what had happened to her friend. Not helpful right now.
“No, she’ll be expecting us to go after her.” She really would, and she would probably win that fight, by my guess. She’d said I was too predictable, and I took the criticism to heart. By teaming up with Diane, I was already doing something new. Now I just needed to do something else that was crazy and stupid enough that she wouldn’t see it coming. “So how much weaponry do you have in your hideout here?”
“A decent amount. I’ve…confiscated some things while in law enforcement.”
“Explosives?”
She almost looked embarrassed. “I was able to obtain quite a bit, actually…just in case.”
“Body armor?”
“Well…only in my size.”
I thought for a moment. “You definitely have skills as an assassin. How comfortable are you with a siege?”
“Well…” She seemed to really think about it. “What do you have planned?”
CHAPTER 33
I watched the forest pass below us. It looked so serene, but below the green canopy was a constant struggle of life and death. A simple one, though—no talking, no emotions. The less advanced creatures of the world knew exactly what they wanted and worked for it without hesitation.
“You like the forest?” Diane asked.
“It’s peaceful…in its own way. If I were to settle down, I think I’d like a place out in the forest.”
Diane laughed. “Not on this planet.”
I smiled. “No. I don’t think that will be an option.”
We were silent a moment, then Diane said, “Can I ask you something?”
I looked at her. She was in black body armor, which didn’t quite flatter her figure, yet still looked cute on her. Her skin was back to its normal color, and without a wig her hair was a dirty blonde. Her face right now, though, was quite serious. I didn’t think I wanted her to ask me her question. “What is it?”
“Rico Vargas—police officer from a backwater planet…is that the story we’re still going with?”
She was a mass murderer, and it seemed kind of silly for me to still hide who I was from her. Yet I didn’t think she’d really understand what I was, and I didn’t want to explain. “Do you believe I’m on your side?”
“Yes.”
“Then let’s leave it at that for now.”
She nodded. “Well, you tell me what you want to tell me whenever you’re ready.”
It was inevitable that she’d eventually have to know exactly what I was if I planned to stay around her, but that was a problem for another time. “Anything else?”
She thought for a moment. “Are you in love with me?”
I considered for a moment what would be the most useful response and then just decided to be truthful. “Yes.”
“Why?”
That was quite a question. “It’s my understanding that there isn’t always a rational basis for love.”
“You’ve never been in love before?”
“No. How about you?”
She let the question hang for a moment. “I’ve learned that love is a verb. You love someone—it’s a choice. I spent a lot of time without any love, so now I try to show love to everyone.”
I didn’t know what that crap meant other than that she was dodging the question. “And how’s that working out?”
“Considering my recent body count and what we’re planning today, I guess I could be doing better.”
I half-laughed at her joke, but I was a bit preoccupied by her not answering the question. Or the real question behind it: Was she in love with me? So it wasn’t just that I was infatuated with a woman—I wanted her to love me back. Which was silly, since it wouldn’t really be me she was in love with but the character I was playing.
“Rico,” Diane started to say, but seemed to reconsider her words. Then she leaned over and we kissed for what seemed like minutes. She said, “It seems pretty likely I’m going to die soon, but I’m happy I knew you first.”
It was certainly possible she’d die and I’d live. And then…I hadn’t thought of that. Perhaps I didn’t want to. I had lived all my life before without her, and thus losing her again would be just going back to my normal. And yet that was terrible to contemplate.
Anyway, considering our plan, if she died during the assault, I was probably going to die, too. So…moot point.
I came out of the line of trees at the edge of the forest, slowly walking toward Gredler’s estate. His security team spotted me immediately, and I could see a group of four guards congregating just on the other side of the gate to the compound. “My name is Rico. I was here the other day, and I would like to speak to Senator Gredler again.”
The security team—Randatti thugs—all had their guns drawn. “What about?”
“I have information about the Nystrom assassin out to kill him.”
They opened the gate, and two of the thugs—a Corridian and a human—approached me. The Corridian seemed to be listening to something. “Okay, we’ll take you to Gredler. Are you armed?”
“Of course.”
The two each took a cautious step back. “Will you hand over your guns, then?”
I shook my head. “Nah, I don’t think so.”
A shot tore through the Corridian, causing the human to glance toward the forest. That’s when I drew my two guns, shooting the two guards inside the gate while letting Diane take out the human next to me. The immediate threats handled, I charged forward toward more of them. I would have to be quick for this to work, and that I had to trust Diane to cover my back. This was a new thing for me, putting my life in the hands of another. I hoped it wasn’t the last thing for me.
An explosion erupted on the other side of the building. That would be followed by some erratic gunfire from the gun we’d crudely rigged to fire by itself. The idea was to divide Gredler’s security with some false threats. That would only last for a very short while, so again speed was of the essence.
A man came out the front door. I shot him and jumped over his body into the house. As I’ve said, when I’m bored I like to imagine shooting my way out of a place. And I had certainly been bored on my first visit to the Gredler estate, so I’d run over that scenario a couple times. I hadn’t considered shooting my way in, but a lot of the same details applied, such as where security would likely come from. Thus, as I barged into the foyer, putting mys
elf temporarily out in the open, I fired from memory at where I assumed targets would be before I even saw them. In the least it caused some of the security force to duck for cover instead of taking aim at me. A number of shots went by me, but with my speed and aim, they’d have had to make their first shots count. They would not get seconds. They missed. Five of them lay dead as I ran up the stairs to the second floor.
The layout of the house dictated that security either had to barricade Gredler in his office or take him past me. I didn’t see him being moved, so he was in his office. I heard gunshots behind me, but I had to assume it was Diane doing her job and keep moving. A guard tried to peek out a doorway and lost his head. I zeroed in on the closed door to Gredler’s office.
Then through my radio I heard Diane yelp. Maybe out of surprise, but maybe pain. A small piece of me wanted to stop and turn around to check on her, but I had my course of action and I was sticking to it.
I fired at the edges of the door and plowed into it. It crashed open and I hit the ground in a roll. The world was spinning, but I saw four figures inside the room firing at me. As I came to a stop I fired two shots from each gun and stood up. And now the only living people in the room besides me were the cowering Gredler and his female aide. I ignored her, walking past her to put a gun to Gredler’s head. “I don’t know if they relayed my message to you, but I wanted to talk to you about a threat on your life.”
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