“Great!” the president said. “You must get excellent grades. If you already know where you’re going, you must’ve applied Early Decision.”
“I do get excellent grades,” Sivan said. “I really do. It’s not a lie.”
“I wouldn’t think it would be,” the president said. He looked at the girls carefully.
“You know, college is a time to make good choices,” he said casually. “Safe choices. Healthy choices. Sometimes we do things as teenagers that are silly or foolish, because we’re pushing our boundaries.”
“Oh my God, Gertie, he sounds like your parents!” Rachel said excitedly.
“Mine too,” Sivan said.
“You must have great parents,” the president said. “And very practical ones too. They know, like I do, that we all make mistakes. Sometimes these mistakes are rather serious, and we’re lucky to get a second chance. Since I’ve made mistakes in my own life, I understand what it’s like to, say, goof off a bit on a school trip.”
“Is he talking about us?” Gertie whispered to Rachel.
“I think so,” Rachel said.
“Is he mad?” Gertie asked.
“I’m not mad,” the president said. “Also, I can hear everything you’re saying. I am literally four feet away from you and you’re whispering really, really loudly.”
Gertie turned bright red.
“What I’m saying is, if you girls got up to some shenanigans today, maybe on a dare or what have you, that’s all right,” the president said. “I assume it’s how you ended up in my Rose Garden. But you need to recognize that not everybody in life is going to be as understanding as I’m being right now. For example, my Secret Service team was ready to drag you off for some pretty serious questioning.”
“No way!” Gertie said fearfully. “Your Secret Service guys saw us?”
“They’ve been tracking you since you entered this building,” the president said. “Not my personal team, but another team that manages security for the whole White House. They track everybody. Especially people who end up in places where they’re not supposed to be. You know there are cameras everywhere in this building, right? We’re being watched right now.”
“Surveillance,” Sivan said. “The state is everywhere. We live in a Panopticon.”
“I appreciate the Foucault reference, Sivan,” the president said. “But actually, you don’t live here, specifically. I actually do live here, specifically. And so does my family. And when intruders go into restricted areas—even nice young women like yourselves—the Secret Service notices and reacts immediately. In this case, I happened to be saying hi to the building surveillance team, and when they wanted to send in a team to extract you, I said, ‘Look. I have teenage daughters. Let me talk to them first.’”
“No way,” Rachel said in wonder. “You did that for us?”
“Well, yes,” the president said. “I had to fight them on it too. They thought you could be armed. But I had a hunch that was not the case.”
“Oh, no,” Sivan said. “We’re pacifists.”
“Although we’re big military supporters,” Rachel said.
“Well, I have some issues with the military industrial complex,” Sivan said.
“We’re very patriotic,” Rachel said.
“I take issue with patriotism that looks like nationalism, though,” Sivan said.
“How are you even friends?” the president asked.
“Nursery school,” the two girls said in unison. Gertie was busy gazing at the president’s suit. It was really a nice suit. Like it was probably the nicest suit she’d ever seen in her whole life.
“Oh, that’s very nice,” the president said. “Anyway, are you girls picking up what I’m saying?”
“You know, don’t you?” Gertie asked, very matter-of-factly.
“Gertie!” Rachel said. “He has no idea!”
“Yeah, we’re cool,” Sivan said. “He’s cool. Everything’s cool.”
The president sighed and shook his head.
“Gertie,” he said. “If there’s one thing a life in politics has taught me, it’s that I don’t KNOW something until somebody tells me. And some things—some things I’d just rather not know. You know?”
Comprehension dawned on Gertie.
“Ohhhh,” she said slowly, nodding. “Oh, I see. Okay. Yes.”
The president looked at the girls conspiratorially.
“Besides,” he said, lowering his voice. “I was eighteen too, once.”
“Oh, we’re not—” Gertie started to say, and Rachel slapped a hand over her mouth.
“We’re not ever going to do anything like this ever again,” Rachel said. “And we really appreciate your patience and understanding, sir. Thank you.”
“Yeah, thank you,” Sivan said.
“Thank you so fucking much,” Gertie said through Rachel’s hand.
“Ew, Gertie,” Rachel said. “You kind of got spit on my hand.”
“Sorry,” Gertie said.
“Now, let’s get you back to your group,” the president said.
“Well, it was nice meeting you, sir,” Rachel said, and the girls got up to leave.
“Oh, I’m coming with you,” the president said. “Probably make your teachers less mad at you.”
“Oh, shit,” Sivan said. “Are they mad at us?”
“My guess is that they are worried sick,” the president said. “But we’re going to make it better, all right?”
“Okay,” Sivan said. “Our teachers are Ms. Deats and Mr. Kenner, by the way. They might be kind of in love, we’re not sure.”
“That’s very sweet, Sivan,” the president said, rising to his feet. As if on cue, three Secret Service agents entered the room.
“They’re going to escort us out,” the president said as the girls stared in wide-eyed wonder.
“They’re really cute,” Rachel said to no one in particular.
“Yes, that’s why I picked them,” the president said. “Come along now, girls.”
Ms. Deats’s heart was in her throat. The entire group was lined up against one wall of a hallway, waiting quietly as Alicia and Brian paced back and forth. Even Peighton, Brooklynn, and Kaylee looked uncharacteristically somber, perhaps because Alicia looked so openly worried. No one was used to seeing sweet, hippie-dippie Ms. Deats in such a state.
“I’m sure they’re fine,” DeShawn said. “Really, ma’am. Sir. I wouldn’t worry too much.”
“It’s been too long,” Alicia said.
“DeShawn is right, Alicia,” Brian said. He was pale, but he was keeping it together. “They’re fine. This is the safest place in the world for them to get lost.”
“I failed them,” Alicia said, shaking her head. “This is my fault. I should’ve escorted them to the bathroom instead of supervising out here.”
“Yo, Ms. Deats,” Brock Chuddford said. “If I may? You’re a great teacher. You didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes shit just happens. Chicks go off and do weird shit because of hormones or whatever. You can’t control that.”
“Thank you, Brock,” Brian said. “That was very … encouraging.”
“Yes, Brock, thank you,” Alicia said faintly.
Brock Chuddford looked at Carter Bump.
“I said shit, though,” he said apologetically. “That’s inappropriate, right, bro?”
“That’s okay, man,” Carter Bump said. “I mean, bro.”
Brock smiled and gave Carter Bump a good-natured noogie, just like he did to all his favorite friends. Brock’s other friends sighed audibly. Apparently they were just going to have to accept this weird little kid into their brotherhood.
And then a chatter of excitement ran through the hallway like lightning. There was another tour group down the hall, and they exploded in gasps and claps and cheers. Alicia and Brian craned their necks to see what was going on, and that’s when the crowd parted and they saw the president of the United States of America.
And Gertie.
And S
ivan.
And Rachel.
And a team of really stern-looking Secret Service guys.
“No fucking way,” Alicia said, her eyes wide. Then she realized what she’d said.
“Oh, students,” she said. “I am so sorry.”
“No way, Ms. Deats,” Brock Chuddford said. “That was cool as hell. Now I feel less bad about saying ‘shit.’”
“Everybody stand up straight,” Brian said quickly. “And be very, very polite. The president is coming this way.”
Brooklynn, Peighton, and Kaylee looked at one another in disbelief.
“What in the fuck?” Brooklynn screeched.
“Brooklynn, please!” Brian said. “Shh!”
When the president reached them, he was all smiles.
“Mr. Kenner?” he said, and shook Brian’s hand. “And you must be Ms. Deats,” he said, shaking Alicia’s hand.
The two of them were shocked beyond belief. Brian got it together enough to say, “It is an honor to meet you, sir,” but Alicia just stared.
“I believe I have something you’re looking for,” he said.
Alicia looked at the girls and shook her head.
“I have no idea what to say,” she said finally. “Except that I am so sorry our girls got lost. And we will deal with them in an appropriate manner, Mr. President.”
Gertie, Sivan, and Rachel cringed.
“Got lost?” the president said. “I think you’re mistaken, Ms. Deats. I had them brought to my office so that I could talk to them about matters of great national importance.”
“You—you did?” Alicia asked, utterly confused.
“Absolutely,” the president said. “It’s something I like to do with visitors to the White House every once in a while, especially young ones. Hear what the young people are interested in. Keep current on their issues. They are our future, after all.” He smiled at Gertie, Sivan, and Rachel, who looked at him as if he were their savior (which, in fact, he kind of was).
“So … they didn’t get lost … or wander off,” Brian said. “You wanted to talk to them.”
“Yes, sir,” the president said. “And I’m so glad I did. We spoke about education and they expressed deep admiration for the both of you and all of the work that you do.”
“They—they did?” Brian asked.
“Really?” Alicia said.
“Indeed they did,” the president said. “Couldn’t say enough good things about you. Honestly, it made me feel pretty good about the state of education in this country, to hear three intelligent young people praise their teachers like that.”
“I cannot believe this is happening,” Brooklynn hissed to Peighton, who was smiling a little.
“Just go with it, B,” Peighton murmured.
“Well, I have to get going,” the president said. “Would you like to take a picture?”
“I—I—yes, I have my cell phone,” Alicia said. “Yes.”
“I’ll take it for you,” DeShawn said. He looked shyly at the president, who patted him on the back.
And that’s how Gertie, Sivan, Rachel, Alicia Deats, Brian Kenner, and the president of the United States ended up posing for a photo along with the entire sophomore class of Flemington High School. No one in the photo was grinning more widely than Alicia Deats and Brian Kenner. And no one was frowning harder than Brooklynn. She was the only one frowning, in fact. Everybody else was feeling pretty giddy.
“You two make a pretty great team,” the president told Alicia and Brian before he left. He had a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
“Oh, well, thank you, sir,” Alicia said.
“Were you … assigned to do this trip together?”
“Um,” Brian said. “Well. I had signed up to do it, and then Alicia here—I mean Ms. Deats—she volunteered to come along, and I thought it was a great idea because the students trust her and love her so much. I’m more of a by-the-numbers guy, but she—she’s got a lot of heart. And I need that. I mean, the kids need that. I need the kids to have that. Is what I mean.”
“Oh my God,” Brooklynn whispered to Kaylee and Peighton. “He’s like totally in love with her. Fucking gross.”
“B,” Peighton whispered back. “I love you? I really do? But you need to shut the fuck up, because love is beautiful.”
Brooklynn looked stung.
The president bid his farewell. But before he walked away, he paused and asked, “So, what’s the name of your school, Alicia and Brian? I didn’t actually ever get that.”
“Flemington High School,” Alicia said proudly.
The president smiled.
“Flemington High School,” he said. “That’s not a name I’ll soon forget.”
“Sir, you’re needed in the Oval Office,” a Secret Service agent said. “Russia is on the line.”
The Secret Service team hustled the president away, but not before he shot Gertie, Sivan, and Rachel a pointed look. They smiled back at him with evident gratitude.
“Thank you,” Gertie mouthed, and then he was gone.
Alicia looked at Brian. Brian looked at Alicia.
Brian opened his arms wide.
“Bring it in,” he said. “Everybody. Big Flemington family hug.”
“But be respectful of your neighbor’s personal space,” Alicia said quickly.
“Naturally,” Brian said. “But seriously, guys. Bring it in.”
And they all did.
The bus ride home can best be described in two words: “exhausted” and “jubilant.” It was a heady combination.
Rachel, Gertie, and Sivan were the stars of the show. They recounted a highly edited version of the story to their teachers and classmates, all of whom were very impressed.
“I even got to talk to him about my suggestions for peace in the Middle East,” Sivan said.
“Good for you, Sivan,” Alicia Deats said, nodding her head vigorously. “You used your moment wisely.”
“Now everybody gets a treat,” Brian announced. He and Alicia grinned at each other.
“You get your cell phones back!” they exclaimed together, and a roar of joy rose up from the group.
“I’m going to post the photo with the president on my Instagram, so everybody can grab it from there,” Alicia said. “And I’m emailing it to all your parents too!”
They all knew Ms. Deats’ Instagram because it was just a bunch of inspirational quotes of the day that she made them read every single day. This was the first time any of them had actually been excited to go to her Instagram.
They handed out the student’s cell phones, and soon the bus was abuzz with phone calls and texts to and from delighted parents.
Alicia Deats’s phone rang with an incoming number that she recognized as the school office. She picked it up eagerly.
“Yes?” she asked.
“Alicia Fucking Deats, YOU are my teacher of the year,” the principal’s voice boomed through the line.
“No way!” Alicia said.
“Well, not really,” the principal said. “I mean, that’s voted on by the entire faculty at the end of the year, and it’ll probably go to Patti Bump like it does every year. But just right now? In this moment? YOU are my teacher of the year. That photo is going to get us such amazing press.”
“Well, Brian Kenner had something to do with it too,” Alicia said. He smiled at her and surreptitiously squeezed her arm. She fought the urge to jump on him right then and there.
“I’m sure he did,” the principal said. “I am so proud of both of you. You’re a great team.”
“That’s what the president said!” Alicia exclaimed.
“Well, he’s a smart man,” the principal said. “I didn’t vote for him, but he’s smart.”
The bus ride seemed to fly by. Once they hit New Jersey, Alicia had the bus driver turn on an oldies station, and all the students sang along to “Respect” by Aretha Franklin and “Build Me Up Buttercup” by the Foundations and a bunch of other songs they were used to hearing at their grandpare
nts’ houses.
They sang all the rest of the way home.
When the bus pulled into the school parking lot, they saw to their surprise that all the parents were gathered on the front lawn of the school. The parents started cheering as soon as they saw the bus, and the students pressed their faces against the windows.
“Wow,” Brock Chuddford said. “I’ve never seen my mom look so happy to see me. Usually she just looks stressed.”
“My mom looks really happy too,” Carter Bump marveled. “Hey look, they’re talking to each other.”
“That’s good,” Brock said. “My dad says my mom needs more friends, to get her off his ass.”
When they got off the bus, they were all immediately enfolded in parental hugs. Gertie, Sivan, and Rachel had inexplicable headaches, but other than that they felt really great.
The Finkelsteins were chatting with Gertie’s parents when Sivan felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around, and there was Peighton. Instinctively, Sivan stepped back.
“It’s okay,” Peighton said. “I’m not here to be mean to you. For once.”
“I know,” Sivan said. “After last night, I know. But, um … what are you here for?”
Peighton blushed.
“To say I’m sorry,” Peighton said shyly. “I know me and my friends treat you and your friends like shit. And it’s not like I expect you to want to be best buddies now or something, but I just want you to know that I know I’ve been wrong in the way I’ve treated you. Mostly it’s because I’m jealous of how—open you are. I wish I could be that way too.”
Sivan was speechless.
“I think, sometimes, there are things about you that … that remind me of myself,” Peighton said, shifting her weight from one leg to the other and bouncing her foot nervously. “You know what I mean?” She looked down at the ground, then right into Sivan’s eyes.
“Yeah,” Sivan said. “I do. You can always call me or text me or whatever if you want to talk.”
“I might do that,” Peighton said. Then she walked back to her own parents, who were standing with Kaylee’s parents and Brooklynn’s parents.
Rachel stood a little away from everyone else. Now her parents were talking to Carter Bump’s mother, who was nodding politely even though she was probably getting an earful of church talk. Carter joined Rachel.
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