“Sadly, I see your point,” he agreed as he absentmindedly flicked an ice pick sticking out of the side of his head, setting it vibrating. “Pinprick Manor is only days away from foreclosure.”
“So join forces,” I insisted. “Stay active a little bit longer to get the new team up and running, and then you can retire with a steady and growing stream of income from royalties refilling your empty bank account. You can continue living here for decades to come.”
“It’s not a situation to be proud of,” admitted Lord Pincushion as he pondered his situation, “but it’s a better one than I could have hoped for. You’re a very wise boy.”
As Lord Pincushion and the Amazing Indestructo shook hands on the deal, I suddenly felt queasy and sat down on the couch. I was happy that I had helped save the League of Goodness from bankruptcy. But I was not pleased to realize that I was the one directly responsible for launching AI on his own successful career. The fact that I had no choice in the matter was small consolation. It was what had happened, so it was what must happen for me to return to the same future I had left. But it was just one more unbelievable realization at the end of a long day of unbelievable events. I barely even noticed as I drifted off to sleep right there in the League of Goodness headquarters.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Hero for a Day
The next day, I became what I had always thought I wanted to be—the sidekick of the Amazing Indestructo! Of course, it’s funny how quickly your greatest dreams and aspirations can change. A couple of weeks ago, I would have begged AI to have me as his sidekick—and I would have gotten nowhere. But here he was, pleading with me to take on the role. Reluctantly, I agreed—for the simple reason that I knew I had to.
And I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I had a blast. I had a power—an amazing power! Nobody knew that it wasn’t really mine—and I didn’t really care. I fought crime with the Amazing Indestructo, the League of Goodness, as well as the Junior Leaguers. For the first time in my life I felt like a real hero—and I loved it!
The day began when my new friends, Funnel Boy, Inflato, and InvisiBoy, showed up at Needlepoint Hill. It was the noise they made that woke me up.
“Meteor Boy, Meteor Boy!” I heard them shout. It took me a moment to realize they meant me. As I lifted up my goggles to rub the sleep out of my eyes, they jumped onto the couch on either side of me. They were holding a newspaper.
“Look at this!” Funnel Boy said, shoving the paper in front of me. Below the fold was the picture of the four of us (and a camera-mugging AI) holding the meteorite. It was the identical picture I would find as a clipping twenty-five years later.
“I’m the most famous kid in Superopolis,” gushed Inflato.
“Yeah, but the story is all about Meteor Boy,” InvisiBoy informed Inflato, annoyed with him, but showing no jealousy at all when he turned back to me. “They go on and on about how you saved the meteorite.”
“Do they mention me?” AI barged his way into the conversation as he turned away from the Saturday morning cartoons he was watching on MagnoBox’s screen.
“Yes,” said Funnel Boy. “After they mention Meteor Boy saving the meteorite, they mention that you lost it again.”
“That can’t be right,” AI said with concern as he grabbed the paper from our hands. That was when I noticed the other headline on the paper. “League of Goodness Retires,” it blared in enormous type.
“This can’t be good,” I said.
Lord Pincushion noticed the headline at the same moment.
“Good heavens,” he said, inhaling sharply. “The press must have overheard our comments yesterday about declaring bankruptcy.”
“But now you’re not going to,” AI said, shrugging, “so what does it matter?”
“Don’t you see?” scolded the Bee Lady. “All the criminals in Superopolis are going to take this as an open invitation to do whatever they want.”
“MagnoBox,” Lord Pincushion called. “Show us what’s going on out there.”
Switching from cartoons, MagnoBox revealed the full scope of his power as he began broadcasting live images of what was happening around Superopolis. It was as bad as the Bee Lady had predicted. The city was in chaos. Apparently, every villain, and everyone who had ever thought of being a villain, had read this morning’s headline. The jewelry district was so crowded that getaway vehicles were double- and triple-parked. Manhole covers were exploding everywhere as who knows what was happening in the sewer system. Megalomaniacs of every shape and size were attempting to seize city hall. Purse snatchers were having their stolen purses snatched before getting a chance to even see what they had snatched themselves. The most positive thing we saw was that, at least at some banks, the criminals were waiting quietly and patiently in lines for their turn to hold up the tellers.
As MagnoBox switched from one scene of pandemonium to another, I heard myself speak: “We’ve got to do something.”
“This is it!” shouted AI. “It’s time for Superopolis to meet the Amazing Indestructo and the League of”—and here he paused for only a second—“ULTIMATE Goodness.”
I can’t even begin to describe the look of horror on Lord Pincushion’s face, but he said nothing. He knew there was no time to waste arguing.
Within minutes we were all soaring toward downtown Superopolis. Zephyr had whipped up a wind that carried the entire league, as well as their three new sidekicks. I, of course, was flying, and the Amazing Indestructo blasted through the air, wearing the Bee Lady’s jet pack for the first time in public. He was still a little shaky using it but catching on fast.
Our first stop, appropriately enough, was the museum. It may have lost a meteorite the night before, but now it was losing its entire collection. Panic set in immediately among the museum looters as the league touched down. While bees chased off some of them, Lord Pincushion confronted others with blades drawn for battle. Meanwhile, other villains were surprised to find that some of their pilfered items were jumping right out of their hands and running back into the museum on their own. The Animator was the only hero I knew of who could create a stampede of statuary, pottery, and fossils.
My three new friends were having the most fun of all. Funnel Boy was producing larger tornadoes then I had yet seen from him, as Zephyr used his own power to concentrate the winds, magnifying Funnel Boy’s ability. They currently had a villain with multiple arms caught in a whirlwind. As, one by one, each of his hands let go of the objects he’d stolen, Inflato and InvisiBoy were catching them before they hit the ground.
The Amazing Indestructo was striking terror into the hearts of villains as he blasted forward and backward with the aid of his new jet pack. But their terror in no way matched the look of fear on AI’s face as time and again he nearly crashed into not only the criminals, but the museum building itself.
He looked like he needed some serious help, but I had just spotted a thief making off with the famous Magma Marbles. This was a collection of really cool-looking marbles that had been found inside a huge rock spit out of Mount Reliable. They came in all sizes and colors, and were still one of the most popular exhibits at the museum in my own time. Only now they were all in the hands of one of the most oddly dressed villains I’d ever seen. At first I had thought a mummy was escaping from the museum. But then I realized this guy was wrapped completely in adhesive tape from head to foot. The only parts of him that were exposed were his face and his hands. And his hands were full of marbles.
I swooped toward him at a medium speed, but it was still enough to catch him by surprise. He threw his hands up to ward me off, but the funny thing was that he didn’t drop a single marble. They remained stuck in his grasp as if they were glued to his hands. grasp as if they were glued to his hands.
“Drop those marbles!” I ordered.
“Sorry, can’t do that,” he said, shrugging apologetically. “They don’t call me Stickyfingers for nothing!”
I had to agree it was an appropriate name. The only question was how w
ould I get the Magma Marbles away from him? My new teammates saw the problem and came to my aid. Inflato and InvisiBoy attacked Stickyfingers from either side, attempting to grab the marbles from his hands. The villain lunged first for InvisiBoy, who vanished just as Stickyfingers tried to grab him. As he turned back to his other side, Inflato expelled a sharp blast of air to evade the villain’s adhesive hands.
As the thief went for Inflato, InvisiBoy suddenly reappeared and managed to pluck one of the marbles from his grasp. Stickyfingers immediately swung back around only to see InvisiBoy vanish. The marble he had plucked away had not vanished, though, and I swooped down to retrieve it just before it hit the ground. Back and forth this went, with InvisiBoy and Inflato recovering a marble or two at a time. Every time InvisiBoy vanished, though, I had to retrieve whatever marbles he had rescued. It seemed odd that he couldn’t hold them while he was invisible, but I didn’t have time to think about it.
Stickyfingers seemed dumb enough to keep falling for the same maneuver indefinitely, but then Funnel Boy entered the picture. InvisiBoy, Inflato, and I all backed off as a twister sprang up around the startled villain. It grew quickly into a decent-sized funnel cloud, trapping Stickyfingers inside and setting him spinning. The winds were so strong that soon the marbles started shifting slowly and sluggishly off his hands and onto the tape that made up his costume. Within moments his entire body was covered with marbles, with only a few remaining stuck to his hands.
“Inflato, grab for a strip of his costume,” I hollered above the torrential winds.
Puffing himself up proudly, Inflato lunged at a flapping strip that was already coming loose. He missed it the first couple of times, but then got a firm hold. The moment he did, Funnel Boy stopped his miniature cyclone, and Stickyfingers went spinning off like an out-of-control top, losing more and more of his wrapping with every turn.
“Quick, get the tape,” InvisiBoy cried as he and Funnel Boy began gathering up the long strip of tape that was now decorated with nearly the entire collection of Magma Marbles.
Stickyfingers, meanwhile, had been stripped of both marbles and costume and was running away in just his underwear.
We all shook hands and congratulated ourselves. Even Inflato had learned the benefits of teamwork. For the first time he wasn’t trying to overinflate his own role. “Excellent work, lads,” Lord Pincushion announced as he approached us. The rest of the league was chasing off the remaining thieves and returning the stolen objects to the museum. “You’ve shown you have what it takes to work as a team. That idiot may actually have been right in bringing us all together.”
“Was someone talking about me?” AI asked as he cut the power from his jet pack and executed a reasonably competent landing. “We’re going to be an enormous success if we keep this up!”
MagnoBox interrupted. “No time to rest on our laurels,” he said. “Look what’s happening at the seaport. The Felonious Feline has infiltrated the Fulcrum Fisheries!”
Quicker than you could say that five times fast, the League of Ultimate Goodness was on its way!
CHAPTER THIRTY
The Boy Who Knew Too Much
By the end of the day I was exhausted, but in the best possible way. I had battled villains, prevented thefts, thwarted jaywalkers—in short, I had been a hero! With nothing but successes behind us, the new League of Ultimate Goodness returned to Needlepoint Hill, while the Amazing Indestructo flew off to meet with a business manager who he was thinking of hiring to run and finance his new operation. This person, of course, was the Tycoon. Thankfully, the idea to hire him was AI’s own. I don’t know if I could have lived with myself if I had also been responsible for bringing him and AI together.
At headquarters, the Junior Leaguers sat on the couch watching a replay of our exploits on MagnoBox’s screen. The Animator, who was watching as well, made a suit of armor bring us a tray filled with bowls of potato chips and mugs of root beer. We were all laughing at a replay of the Amazing Indestructo flying headlong into a huge vat of chicken broth at the Super Dooper Soup factory. On that mission we had prevented the theft of an entire railroad car full of oyster crackers, despite also having to rescue AI. As we watched him flailing around in the broth, the elevator doors opened and the real AI appeared.
“I found this pinned to your mailbox,” he said tossing an envelope to Lord Pincushion, who was sitting at a grinding wheel sharpening his various blades. “At first I thought it was for me, but it turned out to be yours. It’s a bill.”
Lord Pincushion picked up the envelope and removed a letter from inside.
“Good grief,” he said. “It’s a demand from that farmer who we saved from the clutches of the Boll Weevil. He claims we tore up an acre of his turnips and he wants restitution.”
“But we saved his life!” the Animator said.
“People disgust me,” Lord Pincushion said with resignation as he dropped the envelope. “I shan’t miss this life once we retire.”
The Amazing Indestructo, oblivious to Lord Pincushion’s problems, came and sat down on the couch, grabbing himself a handful of potato chips.
“What’s on?” he asked, shoving the chips into his mouth. When he saw an image of himself flailing around in a giant vat of chicken soup he practically choked. “That wasn’t my fault,” he protested. “Once the Bee Lady adjusts the thrusters, I’ll be flying as smoothly as Meteor Kid here.”
“His name is Meteor Boy,” Funnel Boy said with irritation.
“Isn’t it about time for you kids to go home?” a clearly annoyed AI asked as he stood up and blocked MagnoBox’s screen which was now showing us four kids pulling him out of the soup.
“We do have to get home,” InvisiBoy agreed, “but first we need to make plans for tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” I said in surprise.
“Yeah,” Inflato said. “Professor Brain-Drain’s plan. You’re the one who told us it was set to happen tomorrow.”
“We have to make plans,” InvisiBoy added. “It’s up to us to stop whatever he’s plotting to do with that meteorite.”
And then I remembered what Coach Inflato, as an adult, had told me. He had blamed Meteor Boy for altering his and my other friends’ lives for the worse. But I had seen no sign of any of them in the few clear snippets of MagnoBox’s replay.
“What’s this about Professor Brain-Drain?” Lord Pincushion interrupted.
“We spied on him last night and heard him talking about an evil scheme he’s planning for tomorrow,” Inflato informed him.
“The League has to stop him,” Funnel Boy insisted.
“Indeed the League must,” Lord Pincushion agreed. “But Professor Brain-Drain is incredibly dangerous. I don’t think we should be exposing you children to that kind of peril.”
“It’s their decision,” AI interjected. “We can’t stop them if they really want to help.”
“Of course we can,” Lord Pincushion said sharply.
“They’re children and we’re adults. At least some of us are, anyway.”
“But we’re part of the team,” Inflato practically whined. “We have to help.”
“We’re the ones who discovered the plot,” InvisiBoy insisted. “It’s only fair to let us see it through.”
“Perhaps.” Pincushion nodded, a look of concern on his face. “Be here by noon tomorrow and we’ll figure out how to handle this.”
My teammates knew the discussion was over for the night and they followed Lord Pincushion to the elevator. I stayed where I was. After all, I didn’t know where else I could sleep tonight. I glanced across the room to where the Bee Lady was working away at AI’s jet pack with a wrench and a screwdriver. As my friends stepped into the elevator, I went in the opposite direction.
“That’s quite a device,” I said as I watched her tinker away at the source of the Amazing Indestructo’s powerful new ability.
“Thank you, kid,” she said, genuinely pleased. “I’ve been working on this thing for years. I always thought it would co
me to nothing because no one would be able to use it without frying their backside in the process. Then the lunkhead showed up. He’s annoying, but at least this is one invention that won’t turn out to be a waste.”
“Do you have many inventions you haven’t been able to do anything with?” I asked.
“I’ll show you one of my favorites.” She set down the jet pack and reached for something under her workbench. It took all my control not to gasp at what she pulled out.
“This was of no use to the league,” she said, shrugging, “but I had a wonderful time creating it. I call it a Collide-a-scope. Here, take a look.”
Taking the object from her, I held it up to my right eye and began to turn it. I knew what to expect, so it was no surprise when the images inside came hurtling toward me.
“That’s really cool!” I said, trying to sound like I had never seen anything like this before. The Bee Lady stared at me.
“No one’s ever looked through it and not flinched,” she said, partly in awe, partly with irritation. “Kid, you’ve got nerves of steel.”
“Thanks,” I said, blushing slightly. “It’s an amazing toy. You should do more things like this.”
“I’d love to,” she said matter-of-factly, “but Pincushion never had any interest in commercializing the league. It sounds, though, like the Amazing Idiot is going to change all that. In most ways it probably won’t be for the best, but it will give me the chance to try more toy making. I’m looking forward to that.”
“I know you’re going to be great at it,” I confirmed. “Kids are going to drive their parents crazy bugging them to buy your toys.”
She looked at me curiously, and I suddenly worried that I had given away too much. I couldn’t let her know I was from the future. After all, even in my own time, the league had been unaware that Professor BrainDrain’s device was a time machine. But it turned out that the look of concern on her face had been prompted by something else that I had said.
The Return of Meteor Boy? Page 17