by Linda Barlow
They were all spread out in different cities now, but the guys still hung out together via computer gaming. After Arthur's death, Jeff had dragged Kate, kicking and screaming, into their geeky online world.
"Since you refuse to go out of your house except to do errands and go to work, you might as well game with us," Jeff had said when, six months after Arthur's death, she had still been unable to rouse herself or find delight in anything.
"I'm not interested in computer games," she had insisted.
"Tough. We're going to teach you to play, and then we're gonna kick your ass."
"Nobody kicks my ass."
"That sounds more like the Kate we all know and love."
"If it has dwarves and elves you can forget it. I'm not playing any game where my avatar has stubby little legs or long pointy ears."
"It's not that sort of game."
Hunt the Night City had turned out to be set in a dark and rather grim dystopia that had suited her own black mood. Initially she had been skeptical, but the game had turned out to be curiously addictive.
Her friends all played, although their in-game hours varied depending on what else was going on in their lives. The guys had all been technology geeks in school, a little shy around girls and more comfortable hacking than hanging out, but that had changed over the years. They had gone on to successful careers in the real world. Jeff was a history professor at one of the colleges in the three-college area in Massachusetts where they had all met; Stephen was a mystery novelist whose books were now hitting the bestseller lists; and Nick was an archaeologist whose work took him to all sorts of exotic places.
Unlike her friends, Kate hadn’t played many computer games while growing up. She was clumsy at first, but as she leveled up and learned to play her character, her confidence grew. Jeff and Stephen had been the ones to spend the most time with her while she was learning, but she also learned a lot from an old friend of Jeff’s whom she hadn't known in college. Nekrotic, as they called him, played a vampire in the game. His real name was Max, but Kate didn’t know much about his life outside the game. Max protected his privacy fiercely. He was some sort of computer genius, and very good at Hunt the Night City. If she ever found a bug in the software, all she had to do was tell him about it, and the problem would disappear.
"He's some kind of super hacker, isn't he?" she had asked Jeff, who knew Max’s profession but had been sworn to silence.
"Something like that," Jeff had admitted.
Kate grew to love Hunt the Night City. When she played, she tended to get so immersed in the game world that she was able to forget her real life problems. She turned out to be a good healer, and her friends began to seek her out to heal their group through some of the more difficult content. When she proved she could handle it, they invited her to do multi-group raids with them.
It was after one a.m. tonight when she logged on, but there were always people online. Gamers from all over the world played. Despite the late hour, Jeff, Stephen, and Max were hanging out in a trio together. It was a little unusual for Jeff to be up so late during the week, since he usually had to teach a class in the morning. As a writer, though, Stephen could make his own hours. As for Max, he was always on at odd hours. "He never sleeps," Stephen had said. "We think he really is a vampire."
Kate joined their channel and started typing: "Hey guys."
There was a chorus of welcomes from Jeff, Stephen and Max, who told her to boot up her voice chat program so they could talk instead of type at one another. When she did so, Stephen's and Jeff’s faces came up in small rectangles on the upper corner of her screen, broadcast live from their computer cams. Max’s face didn’t appear, which was typical. Kate had heard his voice many times, but she’d never actually seen Max’s face.
Jeff was wearing headphones with a small microphone hovering at his lips. Stephen’s set-up was similar. Kate didn’t find headphones comfortable so she just played the sound through her computer’s speakers and used a desktop mike when she spoke. No one knew what Max’s equipment looked like, but Kate was sure it was top of the line. She figured he was either a sophisticated hacker or an NSA agent.
"You’re up late," Stephen said, grinning at her via the video link. Stephen was almost always grinning. Even though he wrote dark, bloody mystery novels, he was one of the most light-hearted men she had ever known. "Can’t sleep?"
"Nope. Agitated mind. I thought I might sign on and kill some monsters to make myself feel better."
"That almost always works," Jeff agreed. "Digital stress relief."
"What are you doing up, Jeff? Don’t you have class tomorrow?"
"Not in the morning, no. Just an afternoon seminar, so I can sleep in."
"I saw that you called me earlier. I thought it was too late to call back."
"No problem. It wasn’t important. I was just being sociable."
"I’m not even going to ask why you’re not asleep, Max."
"Very wise," said Max in the deep, husky voice that had inspired some delicious fantasies over the past couple of years. He even sounded like a sexy vampire. "What shall we kill? We won’t have a full group, though. No other friends are online. Haven’t seen Nick for a while."
"Nick’s on a dig in central Turkey," Jeff said. "His internet connection sucks, so he won’t be around much for a few weeks."
"I probably won’t stay on for long anyway," Kate said. "I just wanted to say hi to you guys."
Jeff was staring at her through his screen. He was a nice-looking man, light-haired with unusual violet eyes. You’d never guess from looking at his chiseled cheekbones that back in college he'd been a few pounds overweight and out of shape. After one of his romances had gone south, he had gone on a hit-the-gym and get-healthy kick, started lifting, taken up fencing and meditation, and replaced any excess fat with hard, sculpted muscles. His healthy habits had stuck, and he was pretty damn sexy now. But Kate had known him for so long that she rarely noticed it. Nick and Stephen were good-looking too, but she’d regarded them as brother figures for so many years that none of them ever stirred her hormones.
Okay, maybe that wasn’t strictly true where Stephen was concerned, but that little flirtation had happened many years in the past, when she and Arthur had broken up for a while. It hadn’t amounted to much—a single drunken make-out session that had left them both mortified when they’d sobered up. She was pretty sure that Stephen had never mentioned their brief encounter to anyone; she certainly hadn’t.
As for Max, all she had to go on was his seductive voice. He sounded yummy, but given how insistent he was that nobody ever see him, she figured he was probably 100 pounds overweight and butt ugly. The guys were all around her age and single, so it was too bad, in a way, that the thought of getting romantic with any of them now seemed so unlikely. They were friends, and good ones, but none of them would ever replace Arthur in her life.
Neither, she vowed, would Mr. Daniel Witch-hunter Haggarty.
"You look odd, Kate," said Jeff. "You’re not at your mom’s house, are you?"
"No, I’m at my own place. See?" She moved slightly so the camera could record the familiar furniture around her. They all knew that her computer was in the room that had once been Arthur’s study. Many of his things were still in there. "Why do you ask?"
"You’re glowing. I figured there must be a ghost or two hovering around you."
"Shut up," she said, laughing. Her friends loved to tease her about her mother’s ghosts. But unlike Daniel, they did it in a genial, lighthearted manner. "I can’t be glowing. What would I have to glow about?"
"Bzzt. The subject is lying," said Stephen. "I can always tell. Spill, girl. Otherwise I may have to break out my protagonist’s special interrogation skills."
Since the hero of Stephen’s novels, Bartholomew Giles, was prone to using extremely violent forms of medieval torture on his victims, Kate rounded her eyes and pretended to shudder. "No, please, Master Giles," she begged, making him laugh.
"You
know, I think he’s right. You’re blushing, babe," said Jeff. "What’s up?"
"Jeez, I can’t keep anything from you meddlers. It must be hormones or pheromones or something. I went to a party tonight."
"And?"
"And I sort of met someone."
Loud whoops erupted from her speakers. The guys had all been urging her to get back out there. It had been Jeff who had vetted online dating sites for her and recommended the best ones, while Stephen had ordained that she wasn’t going to accept so much as a coffee with anybody unless she shared his info in advance. Max had assured her that he could run security checks on anybody, and use all the tools at his command to digitally eviscerate them if they ever treated her badly. Kate had laughed at all of them and told them to mind their own business, but in truth, she was touched by their caring.
"Who is he?" Jeff asked. "Were you with him tonight? Is that why you didn’t take my call?"
"Did you finally get some lovin’?" Stephen wanted to know.
"Yes, I was with him, but no, nothing happened." Not entirely true, she thought, remembering Daniel’s kisses. "We went out for some food after the party, and then he dropped me off at home. That’s it. I didn’t invite him in, and I don’t plan on seeing him again."
"Which explains the glowing…how?"
Kate laughed. "Dammit, I am not glowing."
"You so are."
"Well...he is pretty hot. It's the first time I've thought anyone was hot in, like, years. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to do anything about it."
"Why not?" asked Stephen. "What’s wrong with him?"
"He came on a little strong, considering I had just met him. And he thinks my mother is a fake."
"How does he even know about your mother?" asked Jeff. Having been her friends for many years, they knew that she didn’t go around blabbing about her eccentric mother to people she’d just met.
"It’s actually my mother he’s interested in." She explained the circumstances of her meeting with D. B. Haggarty. "Graham told him I was a witch, referring to the play, but Daniel concluded I was some sort of Wicca chick. I tried to explain, but he wouldn’t listen. I think he was half-expecting me to pull out my wand and challenge him to a death duel."
All three of her friends were chortling.
"You’re going to have to see him again so you can tease him some more," said Max.
"Yeah, like you tease us with your vampire shtick?"
"Hey, don’t mock. I’m 400 years older than you, young padawan."
"Dude, you’re mixing your metaphors," Stephen objected. "Unless you were turned undead long, long ago on a planet far, far away?"
"Trust a writer to object to my metaphors," groused Max.
"Bringing us back to the subject at hand," said Jeff, "if this guy is so good at searching out the truth and exposing deceivers, how could he make such a mistake about you? I don’t think I like him. Maybe you should follow your initial impulse and refuse to see him again."
Kate decided not to confess that her initial impulse had been more along the lines of stretching out with Daniel on the nearest bed.
"Well, I think she should fuck his brains out," Stephen said. "She’s glowing, and we all know what that means."
"I am not glowing."
"Girl, you are so ready. Ignore what Jeff says. You know we'll all be cheering you on. Have some fun with the guy, and then dump his ass if he continues to be a jerk."
"I think I'd rather just hang out with you guys instead."
"You do need to get back out there," Jeff agreed, if a little reluctantly. "This is the first guy you’ve shown even a flicker of interest in. There was chemistry?"
"That would be a yes. Blow up the lab sort of chemistry."
"Are we talking hookup, or friend with benefits, or oh my god I think I’m in love?" Max asked.
"A quick, easy hookup is probably all he’s interested in."
"Would you be down for that?"
"Not so much, but it does seem to be the way these things are done nowadays, doesn’t it? I guess I need to start living in the present."
"Not everybody wants a quick, easy hookup," said Jeff.
The other two laughed at him. "Name me one guy who doesn’t," said Stephen. "And don’t name yourself, or I’ll tell her what you did last weekend."
Jeff was laughing now, too. "Fine. But Kate’s got higher standards than we do, don’t you, Kate?"
"Well, I don’t know about that, but I don’t think I’m Hook-up Girl. I wish I were, but the idea of getting all naked and sweaty with someone I’ve just met seems icky to me. I guess guys don’t have that problem?"
"Nope," said Stephen.
"Getting naked is what we live for," said Max.
"Men are sluts," agreed Jeff.
"I can fantasize about having crazy hot sex with a stranger," Kate said, "but that’s different from actually doing it."
"How about having crazy hot sex with a vampire?" suggested Max in that soft, erotic voice of his.
She laughed. "I don’t know why that’s appealing, but it kinda is. Weird, since you vampire dudes are allegedly cold to the touch, not to mention dead, but the fantasy is hot."
"Sometimes," said Jeff wryly, "I really don’t get women."
They chatted for a few more minutes about this and other things before Max had some work-related emergency and made his apologies. Stephen declared that he’d had an inspiration for his current book and logged off, too. Before saying goodnight, Jeff gave her one more piece of advice: "If you’re resisting the attraction to this guy, it’s probably because you’re feeling disloyal to Arthur. Am I right?"
"I guess. I know I have to go on with my life, and that Arthur would want me to. But I don’t know quite how to do that."
"Maybe it’s a good thing you’ve met someone who lights you up, even if it’s not going to lead anywhere. That chemistry could be a gift. It’ll make everything easier. Go with it and enjoy, then lose him if it doesn’t feel right. You’ll have gotten the big ‘oh my God, I can’t do this with anybody except Arthur’ over with, and when someone really good comes along, you’ll be ready."
She smiled at his image on her computer screen. "You know, that makes a twisted sort of sense."
"But?"
"I don’t know. I have the feeling that if I get involved with him, it won’t be easy to extricate myself. He’s very intense."
"If you’re getting negative vibes from him, steer clear. Last thing you need is some stalker type."
"Not negative, exactly. I guess I’m afraid I’ll get hurt. Emotionally, I mean."
"You can call me anytime, you know. You’ve always got a shoulder to cry on."
"Thank you. I love you, Jeff."
"I love you, too, babe."
Chapter 5
It was true that D. B Haggarty didn’t give up, Kate learned in the course of the next few days. He was nothing if not persistent, and he was gradually wearing her down.
The first time he called her, she was surprised to hear from him. "How did you get this number?"
"I kinda lifted it off your phone the other night when you went to the bathroom."
"That's kinda an invasion of my privacy."
"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't look at anything else on your device, in case you're wondering. But, in my defense, I could probably have found your phone number easily enough on the web."
That was true, she supposed. Nothing was private anymore.
"I'm an investigative journalist by profession. It's my job to go looking for information."
"So what have you discovered about me?" If he'd sought her out on the internet, he must have learned by now where she worked and what she really did for a living.
"I haven't looked." His voice sounded bleak as he added, "I don't want to know."
"Why not? Because you disapprove of my supposed psychic abilities?"
"Yes, of course because of that. Do you imagine I’m happy about being attracted to the same type of charlatan whom I
routinely expose?"
She laughed. "You are so wrong about me, Daniel."
"Come out to dinner with me, then, and prove me wrong."
"Sorry, I can't." Which was true enough. Not only did she have rehearsals, but she needed to be present each night for her company's current production of A Doll's House. She was the alternate for the role of Christine, which she played each Tuesday evening and Wednesday matinee so the usual actress could have some time off from a grueling schedule.
"Well, at least tell me your last name."
"Wait…you don't know my last name?"
"I'm embarrassed to confess that I didn't ask you for it when you told me you'd been married. Very annoying, the way women are always changing their names."
She began to laugh. No wonder he hadn't looked her up. "You're an investigative journalist, my friend. Figure it out."
"I could," he said gloomily. "Believe me I could. But I'm desperately hanging on to my state of denial about your blasted profession, the thought of which is driving me insane."
"Narrow minded and judgmental," she teased him. "Serves you right if you remain in ignorance." After a moment she added, "Speaking of names, what about that B?"
"In my name? That B?"
"Yes, Mr. D. B. Haggarty. Brandon? Benjamin?" She thought of Stephen's antihero from his books and added, "Bartholomew?"
"I'm not telling. You tell me yours and I'll tell you mine. Maybe."
"Maybe?"
"It's a stupid middle name."
"Hmmm. Beauregard? Basil? Bevis?"
He laughed and said, "It's actually pretty apropos, now that I think about it. It's Blaze. Daniel Blaze Haggarty."
Now it was her turn to laugh. "Blaze? As in blazing fires?"
"As in the French name, spelled B-L-A-I-S-E. I had an Irish grandfather and a French grandmother. But for some insane reason my American parents spelled it B-L-A-Z-E. Since my father's name was also Daniel, I got called Blaze a lot at home and at school. I hated it, and of course, people made fun of the name. I started calling myself Daniel as soon as anybody would pay attention, and it finally stuck."