by B. M. Bower
CHAPTER XX
BILL ATTENDS THE PICNIC
The picnic aroused quite a stir for so frivolous a thing. When Blakeread Mrs. Shields' invitation to the outfit they acted like schoolboysdismissed for a vacation. Grins of delight were the style on the StarC, and the overflow of bubbling happiness took the form of practicaljoking against Humble, whose life suddenly held much anxiety. In Ford'sStation there was an air of expectancy, and Bill spent all of Saturdaymorning from daylight until time to start in cleaning his stage andgrooming the horses, whose astonishment quickly passed into prohibitiveindignation. After narrowly escaping broken bones and chewed arms Billdecided that the sextet could go as it was.
"Serves 'em right!" he yelled to his friendly enemy, the clerk, after hehad barely dodged a vicious kick, wildly waving a curry comb. "Let theignoramuses go like they are! Let 'em show how cheap and common they are!They never was any good for anything, anyhow, eating their heads off andkicking their best friend!"
"How about the time they beat out them Apaches?" asked the clerk, settlingback comfortably against the coach.
"You get out!" yelled Bill pugnaciously. "Who asked you for talk, hey? Andget away from that coach, you idiot, you'll dirty it all up!"
"Sic 'em, Tige!" jeered the clerk pleasantly. "Chew 'em up!"
"What!" yelled Bill, swiftly grabbing up the pail of water which stoodnear him. "Sic 'em, is it!" he cried, running forward. "Chew 'em up,hey!" he continued, heaving the contents of the pail at the clerk, whonimbly sprang inside the vehicle and slammed the door shut behind him asthe water struck it. He leaped out of the other door and was safely awaybefore Bill realized what had happened. Then the driver said things whenhe saw the mess he had made of the coach, upon which he had spent twohard hours in polishing.
"Suffering dogs!" he shouted, dancing first on one foot and then on theother. "Now look what you've done! You're a h--l of a feller, you are!After me rubbing the skin off'n my hands and breaking my arms a-polishingit up! You good for nothing, mangy half-breed! Wait till I get a hold ofyou, you long pair of legs, you! Just wait! I'll show you, all right!"
The clerk twiddled his fingers from afar and jeered in his laughter:"Serves you right! Sic 'em, Towser! Eat 'em up, Fido! Sic 'em, sic 'em!"he shouted joyously, and forthwith ran for his life.
Bill returned to the coach and worked like mad to undo the evil effectshe had wrought and finally succeeded in bringing a phantom glow to thetime-battered wood. Then he hitched up and drove to the sheriff's house,where he saw huge baskets on the porch.
"Good morning, Mrs. Shields," he said as he stamped to the door. "Goodmorning, ladies."
"Good morning William," replied the sheriff's wife as she hurried tocollect shawls and blankets. "Will you mind putting those baskets onthe coach, William? We will soon be ready."
"Why, certainly not, ma'am," he answered, recklessly grabbing up the twolargest. "Jimminee!" he exulted. "These are shore heavy, all right, allright! Must be plumb full of good things! To-day is where your UncleBill Halloway gets square for the dinner the company froze him out of.Wonder if there's apricot pie in this one?" he mused curiously. Hegingerly raised the cover and a grin distorted his face. "Must be six,yes, eight--mebby ten!" he soliloquized as he placed it on the stage."Hullo, bottles of some kind," he whispered as he picked up anotherbasket. "Hear the little devils clink, eh? Must be coffee and tea, hey?Yes, shore enough it is. Good Lord, how hungry I am--wish I had eaten thatbreakfast this morning--how in thunder did I know we was going to be solate? I'll be the strong man at this picnic, all right!"
"Here are some blankets, William," called Mrs. Shields. "Helen, would youmind showing him how to carry that box?--he's sure to turn it upside downif you don't."
"Next!" he cried, returning from the trip with the blankets. "I put themblankets up on top, Mrs. Shields, is it all right? How do you do, MissHelen, any more freight?"
"How do you do," she replied. "This box is to go, please. Now, do be verycareful not to turn it up, or jar it!" she warned. "And put it on the seatinside the coach where we can steady it."
"Gee, what's in it?" asked Bill, nearly dying from his curiosity. "Mustbe the joker of the feast, eh?"
"Three layer cakes," she laughingly replied. "Chocolate, cocoanut andlemon."
"Um!" he said. "I'll carry this one high up, it deserves it."
"Oh, do be careful!" she cried as he swooped it up to his shoulder. "Oh!"she screamed as it thumped against the top of the door frame.
"Whoa! Back up!" cried Bill, executing the order. "Easy, boy--all right,off we go!"
"Grace, Mary," cried Helen, "we are all ready to go!"
"Ain't there any more boxes?" asked Bill from the coach.
"Come, girls," cried Mrs. Shields as she stepped into the coach. "Closethe door after you, and lock it, dear."
Bill gallantly helped the ladies into the coach, grinned at the cake boxand started toward the front wheel when he was called back.
"Now, William," cautioned Mrs. Shields, laughing. "We will not be pursuedby Apaches to-day, and this cake must not be shaken!"
"You won't know you're riding, ma'am, you shore won't," he assured her ashe danced toward the front wheel again.
"Wake up there, you!" he yelled from the box. "Come on, Jerry, thinkyou're glued to the earth? Come on, Tom! Easy there, you fool jackrabbit!--haven't you learned that you can't reach this high!"
When they had arrived at the A-Y the baskets were carried into theranch-house and the women became very busy getting things ready for thefeast. Bill took care of his team and then carried the blankets to thegrove.
While the picnic was being prepared there arose a series of blood-curdlingwhoops off to the south where the outfit of the Star C made the airblue with powder smoke. As they came nearer something peculiar wasnoticed by Helen. It appeared to be a sort of drag drawn by a horse andsupported by two long, springy poles, one end of which rested on theground, and the other fastened to the saddle. While she wondered Billcame up and she turned to him for light.
"What have they got fastened to that horse?" she asked him.
He looked and then smiled: "Why, it is a travois," he said. "But whatunder the sun have they got on it? They must be bringing their own grub!"
The travois dragged and bumped over the uneven plain and soon came nearenough for its burden to be made out. A man and a dog were strapped to it.
At this point Blake joined Helen and Bill, and as he did so he espied thetravois.
"Thunder!" he cried, running forward. "Somebody is hurt! What's thematter, Silent?" he shouted.
"Matter?" asked Silent, in surprise as the outfit drew near. "There ain'tnothing the matter. Why?"
"What's that travois doing with you, then?" Blake demanded.
Silent's face was as grave as that of an owl. "Travois?" he asked.Then his face cleared: "Oh, yes--I near forgot about it," he added,apologetically. "You see, Humble he shore wanted his dog to come to thepicnic, so we reckoned we'd let it come along. Bud and Jim was forslinging it at the end of a rope and dragging it over, but I said no.We ain't got any ropes to have all frayed out and cut a-dragging dogsto picnics, and I said so, too. So we built the travois and strappedLightning to it. When Humble saw what we had done he acted real unpolite.He said as how he wasn't going to have no dog of his'n toted twentymiles in a fool travois. Said that he'd make it stay home first, whichwas some mean after inviting the dog to come along. He said that he'dgo in a travois himself first before he'd let the setter be made a foolof. Well, we simply had to subdue him, and he got so unreasonable that wejust had to tie him with his dog. He shore does get awful pig-headed attimes."
"Take off the gag, Jim," requested Silent, turning to the grinningcow-puncher. "Let him loose now, we've arrived."
Jim leaned over and whispered in Humble's ear, the information being thatthere were ladies about, and that all swearing must be thought and notyelled. Then he slipped the gag, and untied the ropes. Gales of laughtermet the angry and indignant puncher when he had
leaped to his feet, andhe flashed one quick glance at the women and then, boiling with wrathand suppressed profanity, fled toward the corrals as swiftly as crampedmuscles would allow. The dog snarled at its tormentors and then setoff in hot pursuit of its discomfited master, whose waving arms kepttime with his speeding legs.
"That's all the thanks we get," grumbled Bud, "but then, he don't knowany better anyhow."
Blake laughed and regarded his grinning and expectant outfit, and thelonger he looked at them the more he laughed. They had paid their respectsto the women while Silent explained about the travois and now they castmany longing glances at the blankets and cloths spread out on the grassand at the baskets which Bill was busy over. They had tried to coax thedriver to them to give information as to what they might expect in theway of edibles, but he had haughtily and disdainfully refused to enlightenthem, taking care, however, to arouse their curiosity by looking fondlyat the box and the baskets and even showed his elation by taking severalfancy steps for their benefit.
"Well, get rid of the cayuses," said Blake, "and square things withHumble. Bring him back with you or you don't get any pie. You're such adarn fool crowd that I can't get mad this time, but don't ever drag aman in a travois again."
"Did he come, or was he kidnapped?" murmured Bud. "What we did once we cando again, and Humble will be on hand when the feast begins."
Jim had been scowling at Bill, whose manners were most aggravating. "Youjust wait, you heathen," threatened Jim. "You're ace high with the grub,all right, but just you wait 'til we get you alone!"
"Yah!" laughed the driver. "I shore can handle the best cow-wrastler thatever lived."
"Bill seems to be running this here festival," Bud complained to Helen.
"Oh, he is our right-hand man," she replied with enthusiasm. "We couldn'tpossibly get along without him, now. He has charge of the pie and cake."
Bill's chest expanded: "I'm foreman of the pie and cake herd," heexclaimed proudly. "You can't get ahead of me."
Bud looked at the driver and then significantly waved his hand at thetravois: "And you'll shore travel in style, just like a real pie foreman,too, when we gets a chance to honor you like we wants to."
"You'll get no pie if you acts smart, little boy," retorted the driver."Run along and play till lunch is ready, and don't dirty your hands andface."
"Well, we've got fine memories," Bud suggested as he led the way to thecorrals, where he found The Orphan.
"Hullo, Orphan!" he cried enthusiastically as he gripped the outstretchedhand. "Plumb glad to see you. How's things?"
"Glad to see you, boys," cried the temporary foreman, who was all smiles."One at a time!" he laughed as they crowded about him. "Make yourselvesright at home--that smallest corral is for your cayuses. And you'll findplenty of soap and water and towels by the bunk-house, and there's a boxof good cigars, a tin of tobacco, and a jug on the table inside. Helpyourself to anything you want, the place is all yours."
"Gee, this is a good game, all right," Bud laughed as he turned to puthis horse in the corral. "The sheriff shore knows how to deal."
"Leave a cigar for me, Silent," jokingly warned Jim as his friend turnedtoward the bunk-house. "Too many smokes will make you sick."
"Well, you've got a gall, all right!" retorted Silent. "You better let mebring yours out to you and keep away from the box, for I'm always plumbsuspicious of these goody-goody, it's-for-your-own-good people."
A crafty look came to Jack Lawson's face and he turned to The Orphan: "HasBill Howland got his cigars yet?" he asked, winking at his friends.
"Why, I don't know whether he has or not," replied The Orphan. "But Idon't believe that he has been out of sight of the pies since he came.They've got him in a trance."
"Guess I'll take him one," continued Jack, grinning broadly. "He likes tosmoke."
"Shore enough, go ahead," endorsed the foreman of the A-Y as he turnedtoward the grove. Then he stopped, and with a knowing look added: "If youwant to see Humble, he just went in the bunk-house."
A yell of dismay arose as the outfit started pell-mell for the house.Silent entered it first and his profanity informed his companions thattheir fears were well grounded. Neither Humble, cigars, tobacco nor jugwere to be seen, and a search was forthwith instituted. Jack looked ata distant corral and saw Lightning as the dog disappeared from sight intoit.
"Hey!" he cried. "He's in the big corral--I just saw his dog go in, andit was wagging its tail a whole lot. Come on, we'll surround it and showthat frisky gent a thing or two!"
No more words were wasted, and in a very short time figures were creepingaround the corral. Then there was a scramble as most of the searchersscaled the wall at different points while two of them ran in throughthe gate. The first thing they saw was the dog, and his tail was stillwagging as he curiously followed, nose to the ground, a huge horned toad.He looked up at the sudden disturbance and backed off suspiciously,looking for a way to escape.
"---- ----!" chorused the fooled punchers, who discovered that deductionsdon't always deduct, and then they returned to the bunk-house to "slickup." When finally satisfied about their appearance they made their wayto the grove and the sight which greeted their eyes as they entered italmost made them drop in their tracks.
Humble and Bill sat cross-legged on a blanket, which was surrounded withguns. The jug, tobacco and cigars were flanked by pies and a cake, whileeach of the conspirators held a lighted cigar in one hand while they tookturns at the jug. A huge piece of pie rested in a plate at Humble's side,while Bill's knee held a piece of cake.
"Hands up!" shouted Humble, grabbing a gun. "Don't you dare to raid thegallery! You stay right where you are!"
Bill's blacksnake whip leaped from point to point experimentally, pickingup twigs and leaves with disturbing accuracy.
The invaders halted just beyond the range of the whip and consulteduneasily, not noticing that the driver had shortened his weapon by twicethe length of its handle. Finally Jim and Docile ran back toward thecorral while their friends waited impatiently for their return, grinningat the enemy with an I-told-you-so air.
Bill suddenly leaned forward, the whip slid down into his hand to the endof the handle and cracked viciously. Joe Haines, who had grown a littlecareless, leaped into the air and yelled, grabbing at his leg.
"Keep your distance, you!" warned the driver, trying to look ferocious."Twenty feet is the dead-line, children."
Jim and Docile returned apace and brought with them half a dozen lariats,which ranged in length from thirty to forty feet.
"Hey, you!" cried Humble in alarm. "That ain't fair!"
Grim silence was the only reply as the invaders each took his rope andsurrounded the two. Then, suddenly, the air was full of darting ropesand in less time than it takes to tell of it the pair were hopelesslyand helplessly trussed. Silent ran in and hurled the whip away and thensquatted before the prisoners, throwing their cigars after the whip ashe took up the pie and cake, which he tantalizingly munched before theireyes.
"I like a hog, all right, but you suit me too blamed well!" asserted Bud,grabbing at Silent's pie.
"Gimme some of that," demanded Jim, trying for the cake. And when thedisturbance had ceased there were no signs of either pie or cake.
"It's the travois for you, Humble dear!" softly hummed Charley Bailey."And to the ranch, by the way of town!"
"And Bill will be pleased to explore the Limping Water on the bottom,"amended Jim. "One of us can drive the women home!"