by Anna Paige
"I can't win with you, can I?" I muttered, quickening my pace.
He easily matched it. "All I'm saying is hurting her by being mean is still hurting her, you fucking idiot. Can't you find something somewhere in the middle?"
"The only thing I want to be in the middle of is her legs." I snapped. "But you've taken it upon yourself to make me feel bad about that, so I'm doing what I have to in order to keep from pinning her to the nearest wall and fucking the living shit out of her. Which, by the way, is exactly what she wants me to do."
He gripped my shoulder and stopped us both, waiting until the others had passed by—concerned expressions and all. When they were out of earshot, he shook his head. "I never said you should feel bad about wanting her. And I don't recall telling you that you couldn't sleep with her. I just think you shouldn't."
"I know, I know, because I'll ruin her." I mocked.
"Well, yeah. It puts all of us in jeopardy, but I don't think that's the biggest problem anymore, not after what I've seen this morning."
"Okay, I'll bite; what's the biggest problem then?"
He locked his gaze on mine and there was a sadness in his eyes. "I think there's real danger that you'll fall in love with her, if you haven't already."
"Oh, for fuck's sake. You need a hobby." I tipped my head back and stared up at the wide blue sky, wondering exactly when my brother had lost his fucking marbles. "Might I suggest cosplay? It will give you an outlet for your overactive imagination and dramatic streak."
"Whatever. Keep denying it. I'm sure that'll make it less true."
I didn't look over at him, didn't respond at all, as he walked away. There was nothing I could say that he would actually listen to anyway. He was like a fucking bulldog with a bone when he got something in his head, no matter how fucking wrong it was.
And he was wrong about this.
Yes, I wanted to fuck her.
Yes, I also thought she was worth getting to know.
But no, I wasn't falling for her nor would I. I knew better than that. By asserting that I had feelings for her—or was destined to—he was basically calling me stupid, because falling in love would be the stupidest mistake of my life, which was saying something because I had some damn impressive fuck-ups under my belt.
When I boarded the bus a while later, Aubrey was on her computer, telling the guys about various plans to raise our proverbial stock. She had quite a list going. Most of it I grudgingly admitted was pure genius. She had us doing short radio appearances starting after our weekend off, event sponsorships, and a wide variety of other smallish things that would chip away at the low public opinion we were currently cloaked in.
"The countdown show is on Saturday. I know because I listen most every week." I interjected as she rattled off the schedule change. "We're unavailable Saturday, remember?"
"Yes, but you're recording the interview and countdown commentary on Friday." She half-smiled, loving the opportunity to shut me down. I'd already known they pre-recorded the show; we'd been doing this shit for nearly ten years. I just wanted to see how she'd react to being contradicted. She finished updating us on the schedule and closed her laptop with a sigh. "You boys are going to be extremely busy for a while, I hope you're ready for it."
"We're always ready," I countered, meeting her gaze in challenge. It was an involuntary reflex to goad her. I couldn't help myself if I wanted to, which I didn't. Kane's little comment had made my mind up for me.
I was going to prove him wrong.
I would have her— against a wall, on the kitchen table, in my bed, wherever I could, for as long as I wanted.
Then I would walk away without looking back, because I had no intention of falling for her or anyone else. Ever.
And the beauty of it was, she wanted it that way, so I was just giving her what she asked for while proving once and for all that my brother didn't know me as well as he thought.
I wasn't about to fuck up and fall in love with Aubrey Taylor.
Chapter Seven
Aubrey
I need to call Rhonda. Now.
I waited for the guys to disperse, grateful when Ethan dragged Kade to his bus to look over some changes to whatever song they’d been working on. Kane had looked like he might stick around and watch TV, but then I guess he saw something on my face, because he said I probably could do with some privacy and disappeared out the door.
I must remember to thank him for that. The moment I was alone, I pulled my phone from my pocket and called Rhonda, pacing back and forth while it rang on her end. Four rings later, I was about to panic when she came on the line.
“Hey, girly.” Just the sound of her voice was calming. She was a tiny, pixie of a thing, with a thick mop of short brown hair and wide blue eyes. I’d never asked her actual age but she was probably no more than five or ten years older than me. Her personality made her seem much younger.
“Hey, Rhon. Hope I’m not catching you at a bad time.”
“Never.” She assured me dismissively. “I’ve been dying to hear how the assignment has been going. First things first, are you sleeping okay? I know you had a lot of concerns about the whole ‘moving vehicle’ thing.”
“I’m actually adjusting to that pretty well. It’s still a little bit of a struggle but not so much that I don’t sleep at all.”
“Very good. I told you that you’d do fine. The lead up is the worst part, knowing you’ll be in a situation that gives you anxiety—especially well in advance—is often worse than the actual situation.”
I actually snorted at how dead-on that assessment was. And not just in reference to sleeping on the bus. “If you only knew how right you were…”
“Uh huh… what’s going on? I know that tone. That’s your ‘I’m about to lose my shit’ voice. Spill it.”
So I did. I told her everything, from the crappy first meeting to the guard slinging me around like a rag doll, to Kade stepping in and our makeout session. I gave her every gory detail—aside from personal things the guys had shared, of course. I even told her about the possibility of a threesome with Kade and Kane. She listened to all of it, only asking a few questions for clarification, never sounding judgy or appalled like I’d anticipated.
When I was done, I was practically in tears from the sheer relief of getting it all out.
Rhonda didn’t say anything at first and that made me nervous as hell. When she did, though, the first thing out of her mouth was, “Why don’t we start with you telling me what you want to do in this situation? Not what Kade or Kane want you to do, not what Miles or your father would want you to do. Tell me what Aubrey wants to do.”
I groaned out loud. “I don’t know what I want to do. That’s the problem.”
“Bull. You know what you want; you just don’t think you should want it.” Her voice was calm, even, and non-accusatory.
“You think I want to go for it with Kade, don’t you? All of it.”
“Do you?”
“Ugh, I hate when you go into shrink mode. Stop answering a question with a question, you little shit, and tell me what to do here.”
She heaved a sigh. “First of all, I am a shrink, so I can’t turn that off. Deal with it or bite me. Second, it’s not my place to tell you what to do. It’s my place to help you get out of your own way so you can make the decision for yourself. And third, the reason you don’t know is because you’re listening to every voice in your head except your own. Clear out everyone else’s expectations and biases. Focus on what you feel, trust your instincts, kiddo. They’re rarely wrong.”
“You want to know what my instincts are telling me?” I sat on the edge of the couch Kade usually slept on, inhaling the lingering scent of his cologne.
“Yes.”
“My instincts tell me that I was wrong about Kade. I can’t reconcile the man who supposedly bashed some guy’s face in back in Missouri with the one who jumped to my defense at that concert. You didn’t see him, Rhon. He was in full rescue mode, ready to level that guy w
ho grabbed me. How can he be both the aggressor and the protector? It doesn’t make sense.”
“Do you think he saved you to get into your good graces?” She had a valid point, but I shook my head immediately, not that she could see me.
“Not a chance. It was one-hundred-percent instinct on his part. And I don’t think it was just because it was me. I could absolutely picture him being that way with any woman he found in that situation.”
“Then maybe what happened in Missouri was a fluke. Maybe it really was just a drunken mistake. Things like that happen. No one is perfect, after all.”
“Don’t I know it,” I muttered.
“Oh, shut up with that. You’re not a bad person either, though you seem determined to think you are.”
I found myself getting angry at that for some reason. “If my dad were here, I bet he’d disagree. Look at me, Rhon. First the accident and my little breakdown, which caused me to miss out on the promotion I’d been all but guaranteed was mine; effectively slowing my career to a fucking crawl. And now I’m on the fast track to unemployment because I cannot for the life of me stop wanting to fuck one of my clients. I’m such a success. I’m sure that’d make the folks so proud.”
“Funny, I thought this was your life, not some extension of your parents’. Stop using them—and Miles—as your excuse to bury your head in the sand. It’s ridiculous. You’re scared to fucking breathe wrong because you might disappoint someone, but the only one you’re letting down is yourself. Stop, just stop. As your friend, I can’t sit back and let you keep doing this to yourself.” I could picture her there in her home office, kicked back in her chair with her feet propped on the desk, shaking her head at how stupid she thought I was being. “The accident wasn’t your fault, the breakdown isn’t something to be ashamed of, and that promotion wasn’t the be-all-and-end-all of your career.”
There was the soft squeak of her office chair, indicating she’d placed her feet squarely on the floor, like she always did when she was about to make an important point. “This thing with Kade…it’s a good sign. The fact that he’s getting any kind of reaction out of you is a vast improvement over where you’ve been for the last two years. You haven’t dated anyone since that idiot you were with when your folks died. What was his name? Dilbert? Dipshit?”
“Neither.” I chuckled. “But the second one was close enough.”
“Damn right it was. He was a moron.” She sniffed distastefully at the thought of him. “But this Kade guy might have potential. If nothing else, he’s reawakened your lady bits, and for that he deserves a medal.”
“Jesus, Rhonda!” I dropped my head into my hands, trying to hold in my laughter.
“Look, all I’m saying is a little adventure is a good thing. Especially for you. If you insist on saddling yourself with someone else’s voice, remember what your dad used to say about living an adventurous life.”
I winced. “I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean threesomes with rock stars and throwing away my career.”
“Adventure is adventure, babycakes. The choice to be with Kade—and possibly Kane—is yours to make, and you should choose whatever you feel in your heart is right for you. Not for your job or your parents or your boss… for you. Every risk you’ve ever taken has been because someone else was dragging you along on their thrill ride. But for once in your life, you’re craving an adventure instead of being dragged into one. That says something. And your job isn’t in jeopardy unless you do something stupid like have the three-way on Miles’ desk.”
“I cannot believe you have an actual license to give advice like this.” I could feel the blush creeping into my cheeks as I was hit with a visual of the scenario she described.
“Hey, this is just two friends chatting. If you want my ‘professional’ opinion, expect a hefty bill every time you call.”
“Uh huh.” I rolled my eyes.
“And there’s an extra charge every time you roll your eyes at me, Ms. Taylor.”
I laughed out loud, shaking my head. “How the hell do you do that? I feel like you can see me or something. It’s creepy.”
“Nope, not creepy at all. You’re just predictable. Now, don’t you think it’s time you did something to change that?”
“Maybe I will…” I retorted, a low flutter in my belly signaling that I’d made my decision, or maybe I’d just finally acknowledged what I’d wanted all along. Either way, the choice had been made.
If I didn’t lose my nerve.
I’d have to worry later about everything else I might lose.
•••
Kade
We went back to the other bus after Aubrey finished up, leaving her alone for the last few hours before we set off for the next leg of our travels. Kane and I had reboarded our bus at the last minute to find that Aubrey was once again cloistered in her room.
I’d expected her to remain there for the duration, but was surprised by her reappearance shortly after we got back on the road. She was quieter than was usual for her, and I caught her fidgeting with random things on the table, pens, her notebook, even her own nails. She seemed nervous—edgy—and not in the way I liked.
I had every intention of turning that around, though. If she needed something to take the edge off, I knew just how to help her out. We wouldn't arrive at the venue for a while yet, and I intended to make excellent use of the time we had left.
Kane and Aubrey were at the kitchen table, him on his phone and her making notes in her planner; neither seeming aware of my attention. I stood from my spot on the couch and approached them, a slow smile spreading across my face.
"So, we gonna do this or what?" I addressed them both, watching with amusement as both their heads jerked in my direction.
Aubrey's voice was unsteady, her hand flew to her chest as if shocked, but I knew damn well it was an act. "Excuse me?" Her eyes darted to Kane before returning to mine.
"Relax. He heard us talking the other night; he knows the score," I told her flippantly, like it was all no big deal. It wasn’t. I wouldn’t let it be.
Her brows rose impossibly high, and her face heated scarlet.
"Kade…" Kane started, looking at her quickly before glaring up at me. "What the hell?"
"So you didn't hear her say she wanted us both to fuck her?"
A small whimper rose from her throat, and she dropped her head to stare at the table.
"Jesus, Kade," he barked. "I don't think putting her on the spot is the best way to approach the subject."
"Yes," came her soft reply.
Kane whipped around with an open-mouthed stare. "What?"
She appeared to be struggling with something, brow pinched in indecision. We waited her out; she had the floor, and we weren't proceeding until she verbalized what she wanted. Finally, after what seemed like forever, she nodded to herself, taking a fortifying breath; looking up, brazenly meeting his eye in a way that made my dick hard. "I said that. I want that." That's my girl. Her eyes flashed to me. "I want you."
That was all the invitation I needed. I stepped to where she sat and offered her my hand, my whole body heating when she slipped her palm into mine. I gave a firm tug and pulled her to her feet, gripping the back of her neck with my other hand and crushing her against my mouth. There was no slow build up; my insistent tongue was immediately probing until she let me in. But she didn't just acquiesce, she dove into me as well. I groaned involuntarily at the feel of her tongue tangling with my own, desire rolling off of her in waves. I released her hand and slid my fingers up her torso, cradling her breast a moment before roughly tweaking the nipple. She gasped into my mouth and pressed hard against my thigh, grinding into me.
She pulled back and dropped a string of soft kisses to my lips before reaching over and offering her hand to Kane, inviting him to join us. He'd clearly been enjoying the show, given that he had to adjust himself before standing. Once he was on his feet, she moved in closer, tracing his jawline with her fingers. "You sure you're okay with this?" she asked h
uskily, face filled with a vulnerability she probably thought was hidden. "I mean, if you don't want me…"
Instead of responding, he pulled her against his chest and kissed her, holding her face in his hands. His touch was much softer than mine, his kiss slower.
It was always an interesting sensation watching him with a woman, like being my own voyeur. Aside from our tattoos, all of which were confined to our backs and forearms, we were basically indistinguishable from each other. Watching him take pleasure from her lips was like seeing myself on screen.
I was relieved to realize that seeing his hands on her didn't evoke even a twinge of jealousy on my part. I actually enjoyed watching her sink into him, pressing her palms to his chest. Her little sighs of pleasure were the best song ever written, and I intended to make damn sure she’d be singing for hours.
I moved up behind her, my hands falling on her hips, tugging her back against my erection. My fingers brushed her silky hair aside, and I kissed the nape of her neck. One of her hands moved from Kane's chest and came around to grip my ass, pulling me harder into her backside. She was sandwiched between us, and from the way she was grinding into us both, she was in heaven.
My lips trailed from her nape to the sensitive spot just below her ear, my nose nudging her earlobe slightly before I took it between my teeth, applying enough pressure to make her gasp. "Do you like kissing him while I grind my cock into you?" I pressed my erection into her sharply, punctuating the question. She rolled her hips against me, her answer found in the movement.
Kane's hand moved to her breast, kneading patiently, working his way toward the tightened nipple. From where I stood, I could see over her shoulder, watching her grind into him in those moments when she moved away and then away from him to press her ass against my cock. She'd found a slow rhythm that attended to us both while she remained our focus, our prize.