by Anna Paige
“Yeah, warden?” His voice was thick, sleepy.
“I heard you talking to Alex yesterday.”
He nodded against my hair. “I figured.”
“Will you tell me about your parents?”
His chest heaved a heavy breath. “Not much to tell. She’s an angel. He’s an ass. They’re happily divorced. The end.”
“Horse shit, Kade. You can do better than that.” I poked the center of his chest with my finger. “I told you everything about my parents.”
He was quiet for a time. “Yeah, I suppose you did. I just didn’t think it meant I was obligated to do the same.”
“You’re not obligated to do anything, jerk face.” I frowned as I considered biting his nipple. “I just want to know more about you, and I don’t mean the crap you spout at interviews. I want to know the real Kade, the way you know the real Aubrey.”
He chuckled lightly. “I guess I do know you pretty well, huh?”
“Inside and out,” I deadpanned, making him laugh.
“Okay, you win, but what’s said here is for you only, understand?” He sounded anxious.
“Of course. You should know by now that you can trust me,” I reminded him, trying not to look overly excited that he’d given in.
“I know I can, warden. I know.” He pulled me tighter to his side, resting one hand on the curve of my hip. “When I was thirteen, I was nearly six feet tall already. Kane and I had grown nearly six inches that summer, and we were painfully awkward. Off balance because of so much growth so fast, we broke things, bumped into stuff, and just staggered now and then like a couple of drunks coming off the Tilt-a-Whirl.”
I chuckled against his chest at the images in my head.
“Well, one Sunday I was playing basketball alone in the driveway and went for a layup, lost my freaking balance as I landed, and ended up crushing my mom’s wooden planter.” He huffed out a breath, remembering. “I didn’t want to get into trouble, so I decided to skip playing ball with the guys that afternoon and fix it. I pretended to leave with Kane, but once we were out of the house, I ducked back into the garage instead. I showed my brother what I did and told him to cover for me if mom and dad asked about the game later.” His voice was deepening, hardening as he went, making me nervous.
“I probably should have used nails, but I couldn’t risk making too much noise, so I just pieced it back together with wood glue and stood there for what felt like hours, holding everything in place while it set up. Most boring thing ever, in case you were wondering, but I didn’t want my mom to be upset, so I stood there like an idiot, holding the shit together and praying I didn’t end up gluing myself to it. It had been so quiet for so long that I freaked the hell out when I suddenly heard my dad’s voice. It sounded at first like he was headed for the garage, and I started to scramble for a place to hide—not easy when you’re six feet tall, by the way—but then I realized it only seemed like he was close because he was yelling. Screaming is probably a better description, actually.”
There was a long pause, and I watched as Kade’s free hand clenched into a fist.
“Being nosy, I left the planter wedged between some boards and went over to the door to listen. He and my mother were arguing. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I could tell Mom was crying, and he just kept yelling like he didn’t care. I remember hearing her shout the words ‘who is she’ followed by sounds of a scuffle. Then I heard the distinctive sound of a punch, and something bounced off the wall. I jerked open the door and rushed inside just as my dad was leaning down to punch her again.” A shudder passed through his massive frame. “The sound of it was awful; something I’ll never forget as long as I live. He still didn’t see me coming down the hall when he stepped back and kicked her in the stomach, screaming that it was her fault.”
My heart squeezed in my chest, and I felt tears gathering in my eyes. That poor woman. Poor Kade. “What did you do?”
“I didn’t realize I had a length of two-by-four in my hand. I still don’t know why I brought it,” he mused, his heart galloping under my ear. “I came up behind him and yelled his name. When he turned around, I hit him in the face with it, a huge upswing that took him off his feet and launched him across the hall before he hit the wall and slid to the floor. Blood was pouring from his nose, there was a huge cut on his cheek, and I didn’t care. I didn’t feel a damn bit of remorse. I left him to bleed and went to help my mother off the floor. She had a big knot on her head and her lip was split. She just kept crying, looking between me and him while she clutched her stomach. The way she was looking at him, I just knew it wasn’t the first time it had happened. She wasn’t upset that he’d done it; she was upset that I’d seen him do it.”
It was an odd sensation to despise someone I’d never met, but I did. I hated Kade’s father for what he’d done to her, what he’d done to Kade. “Did she leave him?”
He gave a faint nod, blowing out a big breath like he was trying to clear the remnants of the story from the air around us. “She made me promise never to tell what actually happened. After she was sure I’d keep my mouth shut, she called the paramedics and gave them some bullshit story about how dad had lost his footing climbing the attic ladder, busting his nose on one of the rungs before falling backward, crushing her because she’d been standing at the bottom. She even made me set the ladder into position before the ambulance arrived so it would be more believable. When they were both released that night, she came home but he didn’t. I don’t know what she said to him, but he stayed away. She told Kane that dad had been going into the attic to get his suitcases because they’d decided they needed to take time apart. She was adamant that he never know what really happened. She said she couldn’t take the memories from me, as much as she wanted to, but she could still protect Kane. So I swore I’d protect him. And I did.”
“Your dad just left without a fight?” For some reason, I doubted that.
“Not exactly,” Kade sighed wearily. “He agreed to go to a hotel after they left the hospital but he seemed to think he would be coming back after mom cooled down a while.”
“Did he?”
“No. I paid him a little visit at the hotel after school a couple days later. Told him I’d tell the entire town what really happened if he didn’t stay away for good. He was in real estate, had a stellar reputation around town. Signs with his smiling face were plastered all over the place, even a billboard or two. If people knew he was an abusive piece of shit, they wouldn’t want him handling their business.”
“So, he backed off?”
Kade scoffed softly. “After I reinforced my threat with another blow to his already crooked nose. He got in the first punch, a good one actually, even drew blood—the only one to ever have that honor, by the way—but he didn’t throw the last one. Once he realized I didn’t need a two-by-four to whip his ass, he backed off, and aside from coming to collect his shit from the front porch, he never set foot in our house again.”
I looked up at him then, finding his eyes closed, his brow pinched as if in pain. “This scar…” I reached up and traced it with my fingertip. “It was him?”
He carefully pulled my hand away, nodding as he kissed my fingers. “Like I said, it was a good punch. I told my mom and Kane that I got it horsing around with one of the guys, accidentally caught an elbow or some dumb shit like that. Kane didn’t argue, but I think mom might have had doubts. I just shrugged it off as another injury to be chalked up to my awkwardness and lack of balance, swore I’d stepped right into the elbow that busted my eye. Eventually I think I convinced mom, since she never said anything else. As long as Kane believed me, that was all that mattered to her.”
He still wasn’t opening his eyes, so I lay my head back on his chest and relaxed into him. “Seems like you’ve made protecting your brother your life’s work. That must be hard.”
He chuckled harshly. “If he’d stop doing stupid shit, it would be a lot easier, that’s for sure.”
“We all d
o things we’re not proud of. Stupid things. Thoughtless things. Impulsive things that we often live to regret. And we still get through it somehow,” I offered, thinking of my own list of mistakes. “He would too, if you let him.”
“Am I one of those stupid, thoughtless, impulsive mistakes?”
I jerked my head up to find him watching me, his expression carefully blank. “Of course not,” I said immediately.
“Are you sure?” he prodded quietly. “Because I know this thing between us isn’t the most responsible, pragmatic choice you could have made on a lot of levels, but especially career-wise.”
He’d been honest with me about things I knew he usually held close to the vest; I owed him my honesty in return. “Yes, what we’re doing wasn’t exactly in my plans when I came here, and at first I felt guilty. Not because I thought it was a stupid mistake or anything like that, but because I didn’t want to let down the people who believed in me as a professional. Well, not people, just one person. Miles, my boss. He sent me here because he had faith I could handle the situation, to make things better for everyone involved. I’d like to think I’ve made great strides in that area, so I’m focusing on that instead of worrying what he would think about you and me.”
I held his eye, running my hand up the side of his neck to cup his jawline, trying to massage away the tension there with my fingertips. “I never expected this; I never saw it coming, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it or that I think it’s a mistake. Just the opposite, actually. I haven’t been happy for a long time. Just going through the motions, focusing on work to the exclusion of everything and everyone else. But you’re not so easy to ignore, are you?” I smirked up at him, thankful when his mouth turned up in response.
“It’s been said that I’m kind of pushy, some even call it forceful.” He zeroed in on my mouth, his eyes filling with desire. “But when I find something I want, I don’t stop until I get it.”
“I’ve heard that about you,” I chuckled, reaching up to drop a kiss on his full lips. “I think Kane’s still bitter about the bedroom. And the car.”
He laughed softly, one hand moving up to cup my breast. “It’s a great car. I’ll take you for a ride in it sometime.” He rolled us until I was on my back, his hips settling between my legs. He teased me with his plump tip, running it along my slit. “Right now, I’m gonna take you for a ride right here. I want to see just how much dark and dirty you can handle.” He nipped my bottom lip playfully, reaching into the nightstand.
“You haven’t seen me back down yet, have you?” I goaded, a flash of heat shooting through me, making me bold as I watched him gripping his cock, slowly rolling the condom down his impressive length.
“That sounds like a challenge, warden.” His gaze was dark, sinister and foreboding as he positioned himself at my entrance, pressing lightly, teasing, as his eyes narrowed on my face. It made my arousal level skyrocket.
“That’s exactly what it is, Mr. Edenfield.” I thrust my hips up and took the tip of him inside, clenching purposefully around the head. “There’s nothing you can do to me that I won’t like. So bring it on, and make it good.”
He groaned against my lips, the sound coming out like a growl. “Fucking hell, I’m going to make you wish you hadn’t said that.”
“Drop the threats already, and fuck me like you hate me.” I leaned up and sank my teeth into his shoulder, muttering against his skin. “Now.”
He slammed into me in one punishing thrust, fisting my hair in one hand and gripping my throat with the other. “Just remember you asked for it, baby.”
The electric tingle of fear that ran through me was only the beginning, like the first tiny hit of my new favorite drug thrumming through my veins. He spent what felt like forever alternating between punishing and worshiping every inch of my body. He made me feel things I’d never even dreamed of, showed me pleasure beyond words, and sometime in the resounding silence after it was over, when we lay tangled in each other on the rumpled sheets, I knew.
I was in love with Kade Edenfield.
•••
By the time the bus was pulling into the venue, I was incredibly sore and happier than I’d been in ages.
Kade had slept a little more between romps, usually using my boobs as his pillows while I traced the intricate ink on his back; the legendary spine of steel tattoo. Now that I knew more of his past, it seemed like the tattoo was a declaration, announcing that he was nothing like his weak, spineless, abusive father. I wondered briefly how many people knew enough about him to make that connection.
Regardless, it was an amazing piece of artwork. It looked like you could actually see inside his body, the various bones and organs all replaced by hard, cold-looking steel components. From what I knew of his bio—which was far less than he probably thought—I knew he’d gotten the ink before he was legally old enough, thanks to the label’s eagerness to sign the band. They’d bribed the guys—all of whom were seventeen at the time except Lennox—with anything they could have possibly wanted. No price was too high, no request too extreme. Anything to get them signed. And they’d succeeded.
Ten years later, they were threatening to cut the band loose like they meant nothing. It pissed me off, actually. Yes, they’d made mistakes and gotten some less than favorable attention lately, but that didn’t negate all the good they’d done, all the huge strides the entire industry had made because of them and their music. Like Kade had told Alex, the things that happened didn’t define them. I wondered briefly how some of those stuffed shirts at their label would handle the kind of fame these men had been living with. Did they really think they’d fare any better?
Doubtful.
Personally, I thought Kade and the guys were doing a damn good job dealing with the hand they’d been dealt. Maybe it looked like all aces from the outside, but I knew better.
Looking at him now, I wondered if he would choose to do it all again, given the chance. As much as I knew they all enjoyed making music, I also knew it came at a price.
But then again, everything in life does.
Weights and counterbalances.
Sacrifices and rewards.
If we’re lucky, it all balances out, and we aren’t too far in one direction or the other. Life seems to be more satisfying in that margin where there’s just enough pain to make the pleasure more sweet.
Pain and pleasure… funny how the two seemed to walk hand in hand. And in the case of my attraction to Kade, there were also heavy doses of fear and fascination.
I managed to wiggle from under his weight, careful not to wake him as I headed for the shiny new bathroom to shower. I was thankful for the larger shower and room to move, but I still wished for a huge, jetted tub to help soothe away some of the soreness after so much vigorous lovemaking. Maybe when we got to the venue two shows from now, where we’d be for a couple of days, I could arrange for a hotel room with a tub the size of a swimming pool.
Heaven, it would be absolute heaven.
The bathroom was filled with steam as I exited the shower, and I threw the door open to thin it out, needing the space and cool air. Kade was in the kitchen across from the bathroom door, leaning against the counter, wearing low-slung basketball shorts and a smile that was so sexy my insides clenched.
“One of these days, we’re gonna have a shower big enough to handle both of us, and I’m going to thoroughly enjoy fucking the hell out of you under the hot spray.”
I gave him a slow once-over. “I was just thinking about a huge tub, with massaging jets.”
“I’ll massage anything you want, warden. With my hands, my tongue, my…” He smirked as my eyes immediately dropped to his bulge.
“That thing is why I’m sore in the first place,” I grumbled, acting affronted. “I think I’d prefer the jets just now.”
He held a finger up as if struck by a brilliant idea. “How about a compromise? We procure a room with a Jacuzzi tub, and I lean you over the edge of it, positioning one of those jets right agains
t your clit, then fuck that gorgeous ass of yours until you scream.”
“Then I’d need the jet on my sore ass,” I giggled.
“I could turn you around after, soothing one hole while attacking the other.”
“Sounds like the beginning of a vicious cycle,” I mused, pursing my mouth thoughtfully.
He wiggled his brows and stalked toward me, taking my hips in his hands and roughly pulling me against him. “You like it when I’m vicious, baby. I bet you’re wet again just thinking about it.”
“You act like that’s something unusual. Hell, just the sound of your voice makes me wet,” I blurted, too distracted by the feel of him pressing against my belly to remember to play it cool.
“Even when I’m arguing with every word you say?” He grinned, loving the fact that I’d told on myself.
“Especially then, God help me. I don’t know what it is about you, Kade,” I breathed against his neck, watching him shudder.
He stilled for a moment, breathing in the scent of my hair, his erection pressing into me just enough to make me want to push against him. His voice was thick, more gravelly than usual, when he said, “I think I know what this is now—what’s happening between us.”
My heart nearly seized in my chest. “What’s happening between us?”
He leaned back, placing both his hands around my jawline, his thumbs playing over my cheeks. “I don’t know about you,” his eyes scanned mine for a long moment, their smoky depths mesmerizing. “But I think I’m…”
His phone began ringing loudly on the table, and he muttered a curse, waiting it out without even looking in that direction. When it stopped, he sighed and leaned his forehead to mine, looking suddenly nervous, like his resolve had been broken by the interruption. He inhaled loud and long, preparing to continue, when the damn phone rang again, making us both jump.