by Alexis Anne
I stood up. “Maybe this time I should start at the beginning?”
Adam’s eyes followed me as I stood. I knew his sounds far better than I knew his expressions. Maybe that was why I liked making him laugh and moan—they were how I read him. When he was silent, I wasn’t as sure of what he was feeling. It added to my uncertainty to see his expressionless face staring back at me. “Start wherever makes sense to you.”
I swallowed and took a deep breath, rolling my shoulders so that my sweater fell down around my arms. “Cybil and Roger have an unusual arrangement. They are married and for all intents and purposes, they are a happily married couple. But they do not have a normal marriage. They love how they look together. Hero and Hollywood darling. Cybil has had a boyfriend, his name is Alan,” I hated saying his name, “for the last twenty years. Roger has a new mistress every six months. Actually no,” I corrected myself, “that’s a lie. He keeps one in New York and one in L.A. So he has two new mistresses every six months or so.”
I paused while Adam absorbed the information. With as much as my parents stayed in the headlines, very little of their actual lives made it into the news. Agents, assistants, and very well paid lawyers made sure of that.
“Do they…” Adam paused while he searched for the words he was looking for.
“Love each other? Sleep together? Spend time together off camera? Yes. To all of it.”
Adam balked. “How does that even work?”
I pulled the sweater the rest of the way off and sat back on the bed. “I could spend an entire weekend detailing the ins and outs of Cybil and Roger. I only bring this up so you can understand the world I live in. It isn’t like anything else. It is artificial and focused solely on appearances. Truth can be buried and retold like a fairy tale. Lies can be spun as the truth. Children are conceived solely for appearances.” I hated knowing I was a born because it would look good.
“Are you saying they had you and Lily for publicity?”
“Not Lily. I’m pretty sure she was an accident.”
Adam shook his head like he was trying to immediately forget everything he’d just heard. “That’s fucked up.”
“Yes. It is. Welcome to my fucked up life.”
He slid to the edge of the couch and took a drink of wine. “Can I ask a follow-up question?”
I nodded.
“Is that what you meant when you said you raised yourself?”
I sighed. Explaining my parents was exhausting and unending. “Basically. They didn’t want to be parents. I was raised by a nanny. A different nanny every six months, actually.”
“Oh, gross. Roger screwed your nannies?”
I shrugged. “Most of them. I think a few escaped. There was no stability in my life. No one who cared about me.” I held up my hand to stop whatever was on Adam’s lips. “I’m not pulling the poor little rich girl card. I’m just stating facts. It was lonely to be raised like that. It’s part of why I adored Lily so much when she was born. I finally had someone to love.”
Adam didn’t reply. Instead he stood up and kicked off his shoes. “I’m pretty sure you know everything I’m about to say, but it’s time you heard it from me.” He took a deep breath and cracked his neck. “My grandfather is Senator McKinley, and Green Hills owns three very large chain restaurants all over the country.”
“I did hear something along those lines,” I joked. The mood in the room was far too serious. “So, what’s it like being the grandchild of one of the longest serving and distinguished senators in American history?”
“Like living in a pressure cooker.”
I had no doubt. The McKinley family had five members serving in Congress at any given time. Adam had more cousins than I could count—actually, I knew several of them, now that I thought about it. A handful had married into my circle of Hollywood friends. All went to Ivy League colleges, married into impressive families, and were expected to serve either in politics or in public service of some kind.
“What does he think of the ex-pat engineer?”
Adam smiled and sat back down. “He’s proud of me, but disappointed. Though, he’s not surprised either. There’s a reason we live down here. Mom wanted nothing to do with politics. When she was eighteen she staged this whole rebellious phase with drugs and drunken partying, all to distance herself from the Senator. That was when she met Dad—a southerner. It was the end of the world, apparently. Neither family approved, which only made them get married faster. Luckily, they really did love each other. Our relationship with the Senator is strained, but open. He visits from time to time, and we spend every other Christmas at the family compound in Maine.”
It sounded like Adam’s mother and I had a little bit in common. Maybe they really did understand my situation.
It was my turn again. Adam was lucky he’d been wearing shoes. That was an easy piece of clothing. I opted for my socks. I started pushing them down towards my ankles as I spoke. “So I was in my first ad campaign when I was six months old. As soon as I could understand blocking, I was put in commercials and then later I was my mother’s daughter on her series Pacific Nights. They were careful to keep how much I was working under wraps, but I worked anywhere from ten to eighty hours a week from the time I was six to fourteen. A few people started asking questions around that time and I took a year off to ‘enjoy high school’. It was so normal to me I had no idea what my parents were doing was illegal. I also had no idea they were spending my money.”
I pulled the first sock off the end of my toes and tossed it on the floor with my sweater. After a long, glorious sip of wine, I returned to my story. “I was old enough to start putting two-and-two together. Plus I had internet. A few searches was all it took for me to figure out that my parents were using me. I started keeping my own records of how much I was working and how much I should be making. Cybil and Roger were careful that my shows and campaign launches were spread out enough that no one outside of Hollywood would have realized I was working as hard as I was.”
Adam frowned. He’d caught my subtle hint. “You’re saying no one outside of Hollywood would have picked up on it. But inside?”
“A lot of blind eyes were turned.” Max’s eyes in particular. “Especially if it was in their best interest. Report my hours or get Elizabeth Lawrence’s name on the billing? Hmmm…?”
The muscle in Adam’s jaw flexed twice but he didn’t say anything else.
I pulled my second sock off and crossed my legs. “So when they forced me to star on One More to Love, I called my Uncle Oliver. He hired Edita and the rest is history. Your turn,” I smiled wickedly as I hopped up and sat in front of Adam on the edge of the coffee table. “I hear you were in a rather gorgeous Vanity Fair spread.”
Adam turned a little red. “Before I tell you about that one, can I make a confession?” His hand slid up my thigh and stopped several inches short of anywhere worth anything.
“Ok?”
“You also did a Vanity Fair spread.”
“That’s not a confession.” And yet it was. I’d been sixteen and it was an homage to my grandmother. They dressed me up to match the character in each of her most famous roles. It was glamorous and gorgeous. One of the few things I’d actually enjoyed because it was about remembering my grandmother. Her movies and career weren’t tainted by the roles my parents forced on me.
“I may have fallen in love with you a little bit when the magazine came out. I was already a fan, but that spread…hot. My crush was out of control. I hid it under my mattress even though there was nothing to hide.”
I ignored the casual “love” comment. “Hot? It was old Hollywood glamour…”
Adam slid his hand the rest of the way up my thigh and pressed his thumb between my legs. “Hot. Very, very sexy, Elizabeth.”
Oh. I sighed as blood rushed south to the exact spot where his thumb was circling. “You were pretty hot, too.” I may not have been in a place to truly appreciate the beauty of twenty-year-old Adam in gorgeous designer clothes behind
the wheel of a powerful car back then, but I was now.
“My racing career was just starting to take off. They wanted to feature the hot McKinley legacy taking a turn toward the dangerous bad boy image. It was the only shoot I ever did.”
“Well you did it right,” I gasped as Adam took his hand away. The emptiness was always so much more pronounced when he pulled away. He popped off his socks and then he slid a little closer, threading his knees with mine, and took my face in his hands, angling it so he could look into my eyes.
“Your life took a turn after that feature. You were in the headlines for very different reasons and then you disappeared from the spotlight. I forgot all about you.”
I nodded slowly.
He ran his thumb across my cheek and cocked his head to the side. His eyes dropped to my lips and stayed there as he spoke. “All that was happening in your life just as mine was taking off. I’d been racing on the amateur circuit off and on for years—mostly for fun. Then I had a great year when I turned eighteen. All of a sudden I had teams interested in sponsoring me, wanting to see if I could cut it on the pro circuit.”
Adam’s voice was very low as he spoke, as if recalling memories from so long ago required a great deal of effort. I was having trouble imagining this version of Adam. Even in the AMG, with all its power and handling, Adam drove carefully and sensibly. Who was this kid who drove fast for a living?
“Between college and races, I was busy all the time. Exhausted. Ridiculously happy.” A small smile pulled at his lips. “I had it all. Girls thought McKinley’s were hot, but McKinley’s who raced cars? I could have had as many as I wanted.”
“But you didn’t,” I whispered.
His little smile turned into a full-blown grin. “I’ve always been a one-woman kind of guy.” He finally looked back up into my eyes. I held my breath as we connected and red-hot desire pulsed between my legs.
“Even on vacation?”
He shook his head. “I never wanted this to be a vacation-only fling. I’ve been asking you for more since the very first night.”
We were connected by eyes, hands, and knees, but I could feel him everywhere just as if he were pressed firmly against me. I wanted to close my eyes and let myself be overwhelmed by all the things I was feeling and needing, but I couldn’t bring myself to break the connection with Adam. He needed to see me, and he needed me to see him. That was why he was still holding my face in his hands.
“Elizabeth, I have to get this out before I lose my nerve.”
It was almost impossible for me to imagine Adam having trouble confessing anything. His confidence was so imposing and unwavering I’d almost forgotten everyone had chinks in their armor—even Adam. I nodded once, “I’m listening.”
“I was twenty, shooting up the circuit, making a name for myself, starting to wonder if I needed to finish college…” his fingers tightened and his breathing deepened. “I was in a massive wreck. Upside down, buried behind three other cars, it took them fifteen minutes just to get to me. At least that’s what they tell me. I have no memory of anything after I came around the turn and saw the two cars ahead of me flip.”
I wrapped my hands around Adam’s wrists. It was his story and he was obviously having a difficult time with it, but I needed to feel him. I needed the anchor his body provided. I asked the obvious question. “You were hurt?”
“My brain got a pretty good whack. I was bruised badly just about everywhere, but no broken bones. No cuts or burns. All my equipment worked exactly the way it was supposed to. I had to take six months off and let my brain heal…that’s when everything changed.”
“Changed?” I needed to be closer to Adam. This ‘almost touching’ foreplay was driving me crazy. I pushed gently on his shoulders and Adam slid back on the couch before helping me straddle his lap. Despite the heavy subject matter he was sporting a rather impressive erection. It rubbed perfectly along all my swollen and needy parts.
“I got a good glimpse of where my life was going and realized it wasn’t what I wanted,” he grunted as he settled into place. “Everyone wanted a piece of me. My grandfather wanted me to take the opportunity to change majors and go into politics. Follow him into Congress. The press all wanted exclusives. The paparazzi followed me for weeks. The team called every day for an update on my condition. They wanted me back in the car as soon as possible. I was being pulled in five different directions and every single person doing the pulling wanted something from me. I was exhausted just sitting there. And then…” his voice trailed off and the pain crept back into his voice. “And then I got in the car and realized it was never going to be the same for me. Driving was never going to be fun again. I was one of those drivers who was never going to be the same after my wreck.”
“You don’t seem to have a problem now.” I ran my fingers through his hair as I tried to understand what Adam was telling me.
“It’s also been nine years. And it’s still not the same. Before the wreck, driving was a game. It was calculations and betting the odds. It was playing the field and out maneuvering the other drivers.” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them he looked right at me. “After the wreck it was…” his voice kept trailing away as he searched for the right words, “being careful, and playing it safe. It was sweating through flashbacks and wondering if I was going to die before I got a chance to do anything with my life. I was still a fast driver, but I’d lost my edge. I quit racing, finished college, and put as much distance between me and everyone trying to use me as humanly possible.”
“Except now you’re going back.”
“On the other side of the car.”
“Is that why the decision was so huge?”
He nodded. “I miss racing. I think it’s time to go back and this is the right way to do it.” He tightened his hands on my thighs, running them up to my hips where he pressed me down on his erection.
It sent an electric jolt of pleasure up from my core to my entire body and I tilted my head back and let out at a very satisfied groan. “Whose turn is it?”
My answer was Adam’s fingers running under the hem of my shirt and his lips at the crook of my neck. “Yours,” his breath whispered across my skin.
I found his fingers and took my shirt from there, pulling it very, very slowly up my torso and stopping just before I exposed my breasts. “Two years after our court case was settled I agreed to an amendment to our agreement.”
Adam didn’t move but the air around him suddenly felt colder. He ran his fingers over the skin of my stomach. “Why?”
“Lily,” I gasped as his hand dropped between my legs and massaged. “She begged me to stop breaking the family apart. She was too young to understand. She still doesn’t fully grasp it all.”
Adam’s head was resting back as he watched me. With every circle of his fingers I grew wetter and more anxious to get my last layer of clothing off. But I also liked letting Adam watch me. “How? I don’t understand. She’s your sister.”
“She is, but she’s a totally different person. It’s almost like we have two different parents. They had me for a reason: to use me. They had her on accident. She’s their pride and joy. Now to be fair, they also learned how to do things better after they screwed me over. I am their tool, Lily is their prize. They see us differently and they always have. She’s their second chance—the sweet, irresistible proof they aren’t horrible people. They treat us very differently and Lily has never understood that.”
I pulled my shirt up over my head but Adam stopped me halfway, temporarily immobilizing me with my shirt over my face and my bare breasts exposed to his mouth. It was a vulnerable and rather advantageous position in his hands. He took first one, then the other nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue and gently running his teeth along them before kissing the tips and letting me go.
I tossed my shirt to the side and shook my head. “You’re trouble.”
He shrugged and grinned. He liked being that kind of trouble in my
life. I could use more of that kind of trouble.
“So what was the amendment?”
Adam was so handsome. The stubble on his jaw was rough against my fingers as I ran them along his cheek before grasping his chin and kissing him. I wanted to be closer to him so I kept my lips only an inch from his as I spoke. Adam wrapped his arms around my bare back, placing his palms between my shoulder blades, holding me against his chest. “I agreed to a minimal amount of interaction with the family. An appearance at Christmas and I would be in the same room with them for Lily’s birthday. I would acknowledge them as my family again and any matters that pertained to the family brand would trigger a meeting in Edita’s offices to discuss and agree on how to best serve all parties.”
“This is what happened this week.” He said simply.
I nodded and kissed him, hoping it erased any doubts he was feeling inside about his involvement. “Any time I show up in the press we meet and make a plan on how to handle it. Roger and Cybil still play their games. I still avoid them at all costs. Lily plays her own games in the middle—I assume she has a delusional hope we’ll all be one big happy family one day.” I can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of me. It’s not funny, but it’s the only response I have for the way I feel. I can barely imagine Roger and Cybil as my parents, let alone my family. “Lily is my sister in blood, Allison is my sister in life, and my Uncle Oliver is all I have left. That is my family and it is a good family. I love them all dearly and I’m very happy.”
“I would have gotten you out of there instead of holding Kevin down if I’d realized.”
I shook my head and kissed him again. Harder. “You didn’t know. No one knows this stuff. We’re like the CIA or something.”
He laughed a little against my lips. “I think the CIA could use your help.” He moved his arms around me and his hands up to cup my face and hold me for a deeper kiss. His tongue slid along mine, gently caressing as his fingers massaged in my hair.
I was breathless when I finally pulled away, placing my hands on his chest and physically separating us. “But I need you to understand something.”