“What happened to make you change your mind?”
“Only Sam knows about this, but…well, she was over at our place, and she made a comment about Jayson having no direction for his life and how she hoped I didn’t turn out like him. It hit me wrong because he was going through some stuff, and she knew he was struggling—not about the suicide attempt, but she knew he was having serious issues. I thought she was being pretty cold, and I told her I wanted to break up. Honestly, I couldn’t see myself staying with someone who could be so heartless. She waited a day and then told me she thought she was pregnant.”
“What?” It felt like my heart went into my throat.
“Yeah, well, a few days later it came out she lied, and I was like, there is no way we can keep going on.”
“Then why are you still letting her in your life so much? She e-mails you, texts you—the dance thing—”
“I felt guilty. Seriously, the whole relationship got so complicated after it. And it was a huge mistake.”
I sat back in the seat. “Life was so much easier when dating meant passing notes in the hallway, drinking out of the same juice box at lunch, and sharing crayons.”
He laughed. “Those were the days. I’m sorry if I did anything to make you feel like you did when you were with John. Instead of trying to reassure you I wasn’t like him, I guess I got offended that you thought I was.”
“Well, it wasn’t just him. I think my whole experience getting over the betrayal and everything that went on with my grandparents threw me off. Maybe I pushed you away a bit.”
“You think?” he said.
“In my defense, it’s a little hard to go out with someone half the school wants to be with.”
“Only half the school?” he asked with a smirk. “I’d like to think I’m good-looking enough to make a few guys question some stuff.”
I cracked up. “Wow, so modest.”
“Em, I miss being with you. I’ve never had anything like this before, and I don’t want to lose you.”
“Me neither. You know, I went to a psychic fair, and I was trying to figure out how the stars aligned for us, looking to tarot cards and stuff to see if we were meant to be. This lady there was like, stop getting caught up in the New Age stuff. She told me to listen to my common sense and see the situation as it is. I think I was hiding behind the New Age stuff instead of dealing with real life.”
“Like when we went out, and you were oh-so-subtly trying to figure out how we connected with numerology to see if we had a future together?”
My face got warm. “You picked up on what I was doing?”
“Yup.”
“How embarrassing.”
“Eh, it was cute, but I don’t need number connections to tell me how I feel about you,” he said. “I mean, even my mom likes you, and she doesn’t like anybody.”
“Well, I am adorable.”
“Too true.”
“But there’s something else I think we need to talk about. I held back a lot of stuff—you know how I felt resentful about Lauren and all, and how I was being kind of standoffish to you around Thanksgiving.”
“Oh, you mean when you were being a little Margaux and acting super cold?”
I squirmed. “You picked up on the Margaux stuff, too?”
“Uh-huh, but I figured you were just trying to sort out if I was telling the truth about running into Lauren in Frankenmuth.”
“Well, part of it, but I was…” I paused, feeling anxious. “Um…”
“Emme, you can tell me anything,” he said, putting his hand over mine.
“I know you had a student council meeting the day of my grandma’s funeral, but I was hurt you didn’t come when you said you would.”
“I did come.”
“What?”
“I was there, but I got super overwhelmed because I started thinking about how my granddad’s health hasn’t been good, and I went into the hallway before I had an anxiety attack in the church. The whole thing threw me a lot more than I expected it to, and I was kind of a mess, so I left before the luncheon started. I went up to your grandpa and asked him to tell you I had to leave and said I’d call you later.”
My mouth dropped open. “Oh my goodness, that’s what Grandpa meant—he got you confused with his cousin the first time he met you, and when he told me Dennis gave him a message—oh wow, I thought he was confused.”
“What do you mean?”
“Grandpa started showing signs of dementia right after my grandma’s stroke. My aunt doesn’t want to talk about it, but he can’t be alone anymore.”
“Oh wow, so you’ve been dealing with losing your grandma and him being sick, as well?”
“Yeah, it’s been a lot to handle. Probably why I thought life made more sense and felt in control with all the New Age crap. I was counting on my bracelets to keep me safe and grounded.”
“So numerology and horoscopes might be off, but I have been getting some signs about you,” he said. He said he had been hearing Sweetie Gals songs on the radio all the time, too, like I had. “It’s either some sort of sign we’re supposed to be together, or the group is getting back together.”
“If only they would reunite,” I said. “But getting back to us—why didn’t you ever tell me you had a feeling about us being meant to be before?”
He shrugged. “Didn’t want to creep you out. I just had this gut feeling you and I were meant to be, and then there’s the fact every single day my intuition was basically saying, ‘Stupid, go get her.’”
“You always managed to call or be around at the right moment, too, but I didn’t realize you had been feeling anything as well.”
“Do you remember the day I was on a plane, and we had all that turbulence? When it dropped, all I could think about was you. I’ve never been so scared in all my life, and yet all I could think about was you. I told my dad about it the other day, and he said he had a similar reaction before. He said near-death situations take away all the fake stuff and make you realize what matters. Then he said it was why he backed off on micromanaging Jayson. He said Jayson’s attempt made him realize all that matters was Jayson being happy and well. It didn’t matter where he ended up.”
“So maybe he’d be open to hearing about your dream,” I said.
Brendon shook his head, smiling. “I just told you my near-death experience made me think of you, and you come back with wanting me to talk to my dad about pursuing my dream?”
“Trust me, the first part was not lost on me, but I want what’s best for you, too.”
“Maybe the first part was a little overwhelming?”
I laughed. “A bit, but I liked it.”
“Well, it’s something.”
“And I wouldn’t mind if you started looking at schools a little closer. No pressure. I’m not mapping out our future, but I wouldn’t mind spending time with you next fall.”
“You’re more likely to map out our destinies in the stars anyway,” he said, laughing. “But I got to admit, I like where you’re going with this.”
“Well, I’ll leave the horoscopes alone for a while, but I do think I’ll check my intuition from time to time.”
“Is that what it’s called? You’ll have to tell me more,” he said, leaning in to kiss me. “Does this mean we’re not reading each other’s minds? Because I was starting to wonder.”
“You know, maybe you could stop reading my mind between eight and ten at night so I can watch my favorite TV shows,” I said, and he shook his head and kissed me again. “Well, at least you could telepathically help me with my math tests.”
“I’m not advanced with telepathy yet, but I’ll work on it. After all, my horoscope said I’m supposed to involve myself in a new project,” he said. “But you never answered me about your number five year—did you find your soul mate?”
“You know, I think I just might have.”
“Well, I know I did.”
I kissed him. “Good to know.”
“Oh, and I downlo
aded an application to another school…it’s forty minutes away.”
“That far?”
He cracked up. “Willing to try a long-distance relationship?”
“I think we can make it work.”
“You don’t need to check the stars first or get a sign?” he asked.
“Nope, all signs point to yes.”
“That’s what I like to hear.”
About the Author
Krysten Lindsay Hager writes about friendship, self-esteem, fitting in, frenemies, crushes, fame, first loves, and values. She is the author of True Colors, Best Friends... Forever?, Next Door to a Star, Landry in Like, and Competing with the Star (The Star Series: Book 2). Her work has been featured in USA Today, The Flint Journal, The Grand Haven Tribune, The Bellbrook Times and on Living Dayton.
@KrystenLindsay
KrystenLindsayHagerAuthor
www.krystenlindsay.com/
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