I lean over my dad's shoulder and admire Emily nestled in his arms. I take the scent of the man that plucked me from the bassinet that morning and never let go. He smells just like I remember, sandalwood and Irish Springs. I plant a kiss on his cheek and thank God that he got to meet his grandchildren that they all got to meet the babies.
Chapter 1 8 ~ Homecoming ~
The stage has been set for my first press conference. The proper evidence has been planted and Elena will emerge the hero of the year as the world learns of how she found me and saved me from the would-be assassin. She has her speech memorized with a truthful answer for every question that may come up – impossible as that may be.
Our Escalade pulls up to the front of the house. The lawn is so filled with reporters and photographers we can hardly get through. We continue around back to get behind the gate and into the garage before my security team will let us get out. They do another full sweep while we wait inside the car. Sam runs his hands over his knees anxiously. The babies are sound asleep in their car seats looking as if the world could implode around us and not wake them.
I stroke the back of Elara's hand and she closes her impossibly tiny fingers around my thumb. The driver touches his ear piece and I assume we are getting the all clear. Elena hops out of the front seat and opens the door for us. We get ushered inside the house while Sam and Elena each grab a carrier containing a snoozing baby. It will be some time before I get my strength back. The murmur of the crowd outside carries through the house like a low roar. Elena goes to the front porch to begin and Sam and I get the twins unbuckled and in their crib. We've already learned they don't like to be separated, so for now, they can share one bed.
They only weigh in at five and a half pounds, being a couple of weeks early, and as I set them down in the crib, it looks as if it could swallow them whole. I hate to leave them even if it’s only for a moment. But the public is growing restless.
“Do you want me to come out with you?” Sam asks in a low voice so he doesn’t wake the babies. I use my gift and delve into his mind even though I know I should keep out right now. He’s still hurting. Being in his head feels like I’m walking through a room with broken shards of glass protruding from the floor, ceilings and walls. There is nowhere to go that isn’t pain free.
I bite my lip knowing there is not much I can do. “I’m sorry but I think I need you to be there, even if it is just for the cameras. I know you’re hurting.”
“Right, because you can read my mind,” he says it more like a fact than a question. His tone his laden with resentment.
Why does she have to look at me with those damn needy eyes? She knows I can’t deny her anything she’d ever ask of me.
“Yes, I can read your mind, but I can and do give you privacy. The only time I have ever used my gift of influence on you was after Emily was murdered by that evil…” I sigh out frustrated and lead Sam out of the room so the babies can find a bit of peace. Sam follows me out and I shut the door. I flip the baby monitor on and watch the small screen as they sleep.“Anyway, I only use my gifts when I absolutely don’t have a choice.I’m not even sure if they really work on you at all. You don’t seem to need the extra push for me to influence you. But believe me, I wish I didn’t have them at all.”
I ease down onto a cushioned bench in the hall feeling utterly alone in the world right now. My husband is looking at me like I’m an alien capable of mind control, oh wait, I sort of am. Geeze! I shake my head and walk down to the press conference.
As soon as I step outside,the cameras start flashing away. I go to shut the door behind me and Sam’s hand catches the door. He eases it back open and proudly takes my hand. The gesture is small but it means a lot to me.
The crowd breaks into applause as we make our way to the edge of the porch. They are all happy to see me looking fairly well although they thought I’dbe more banged up. Elena hands the microphone over to me and I smile over at her. I’m glad she’s someone who I can always count on.
“Thank you. As you may have heard, three days ago, some men forced their way onto my property and killed two of my guards. They were able to kidnap me and hold me hostage in deplorable conditions. I was afraid, but I knew that I had the best security team in this hemisphere working to find me. Not only did Elena Kennedy save me, but she saved my babies.
I had gone into labor from the stress and just as my worst fears were coming true, Elena and the rest of my team stormed inside and saved the day. William and Elara were born not long after in a nearby hospital. My husband Sam was on his way home already when he heard the frightening news. He was able to reunite with us at the hospital. He wasn’t in time for the twin’s birth, but hepromises he’ll never miss a ballet rehearsal or a football practice.”
Sam blushes on cue and tilts his head to one side to agree with my statement. The crowd laughs.
“Once again I thank you for your concern, and now I better take the advice my friends have all given me, and sleep when they sleep. I’ll be back to my duties as Governor in a couple of weeks. Until then, my Lieutenant Governor, Rick Edelman will be assuming the office.” I wave and Sam takes my hand once again, squeezing once before we get to the door. It feels good to have him on my side. I know it’s not an easy place to be.
Once everyone disperses and it’s just me and Sam,I sink down into his chest.“Thank you for coming out with me.”
He leads me into the empty kitchen and puts the kettle on.“You’re welcome. I know you’ve had years to let all of this sink in but I am still in shock. It’s going to take some time for me to get used to the idea of you being half of some kind of supernatural being. I mean did we really just teleport from another planet? We got to see Emily again and that was pretty cool I guess. But man, it’s a lot to take in Bren.”
“I know. Believe me, I know. Now that your memories are back, do you remember her kissing you on New Year’s Eve on my birthday?”
“Yes, it was so random, and it caused Chris her boyfriend to go all postal on me that night.”
“Well she kissed you because in my toast I told everyone to open their hearts and follow their dreams. I tried to choose my words carefully that night, but apparently to Emily it made her realize she had a crush on you. I’d only had the gift a few hours and I didn’t knowhow to use it properly yet.”
Sam chuckles as he pours me a cup of tea.
“Thank you.”
“I’m going to be here for you Bren, and the babies. You may have plucked this thought out of my head already,but I want to say it out loud. Life has given you extraordinary circumstances in which to overcome. You may not have handled them perfectly, but I know now that you always tried to do the right thing. You tried to tell me the truth and it got both of our memories wiped out. You tried to stay away from Elijah, even though he is your soul mate. You left him and went through immense pain just to protect your friends from getting hurt. And I believe you when you say you thought Elijah being here in our home was just a dream and you would have never cheated on me. I’ve been to Amorous, and those things, those angels can work some serious mojo on our heads.”
His warm golden eyes settle on me and he takes my hand up from across the table.“You never asked for any of this. And yet here you are, strong as ever– or at least pretending to be. Either way,I admire you for what you’ve overcome.I promise I will be right her with you every step of the way from now on.” I get up and hug him, blinking away tears all the while. He rises too and we embrace one another for a long while. I’ve always said Sam is the true angel in my life. After all, he feels this way after all the wrong I’ve done, no normal human being would forgive such atrocities. I could see us on Maury,“Sam Montgomery, you are NOT the father.” The crowd boos me as I look out feigning innocence. I shake the repulsive thought from my head. Sam is so good to me, more so than I deserve.
“I am truly blessed to have you in my life Sam. I love you.”
But you love him more. I catch his thought as I pull away and it
nails me in the gut. He notices the sudden worry in my eyes.
“Do you remember those times with Cat? You knew you loved her from the first moment, didn’t you?” His eyes drop and I know I’ve hit the mark.“It was like you craved her like an irresistible addiction to the world’s best chocolate. Ok, so maybe chocolate is my thing, but you get my point. She is most likely your soul mate. I have it on good authority that you and she will get another chance one day in the afterlife.”
I try and stay out of his head as the memories of her roll through fresh and new, as if they just happened last night. She helped him get through these past few months and then she urged him to seek the truth before she eased out of his life again. At least this time, it was on better terms. He knew he had to finish what this was before he could go anywhere with Cat. He let her go even though he still loved her. The scene is painful to watch. I hate seeing my sweet Sam hurting.
“I will not attest to loving you any less, differently, but not less,” I finally say with absolute confidence.
“They made her leave me, didn’t they? Somehow I know it was those feather flocked supermodels.”
I nod confirming his theory.“They did the same to me, the first time around, I found out what Elijah was and that night,they took him away.”
“It’s so strange having two separate sets of memories.”
I stifle a yawn and Sam takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom.“Come on I’m sure the twins will be up in like five minutes, so we’d better sleep while we can.”
As we lay in bed, my eyes quickly inform me they will not open again unless there is a newborn crying.“We’re going to get through this you and me,” Sam says as he settles into his pillow.
“Yeah, I know. One day, one hour, one minute…” I doze off before I finish the sentence. But he knows it well enough. The factory sign has been set to zero once again.
Chapter 19 ~ Full Circle~
One year later
Three hundred and sixty five days ago, I was in labor in a dungeon. Now, my one year old babies are nestled on each of my hips as we lean in to blow out the candles on their birthday cakes. Sam and the rest of our extended family sing happy birthday around the table outside. It’s late October, and the air is unseasonably crisp and mild. Elena watches the party from her station on the back porch. Since their birth, the babies have been kept safe with vigilant care. Security is tight here. You can feel the presence of it when you set foot past the gates. Other than that, life has returned to normal… well, as normal as it can be when you are living in a life surrounded by angels with demon attacks on a daily basis, but an extraordinary life it is.
“Happy birthday Elara and William. Happy birthday to you!” we all sing.
“Can you blow out your candles and make a wish?” I ask. They smile showing their two teeth making everyone awe over their cuteness. They each let out a puff of air mixed equally with saliva aimed right at the cakes, successfully extinguishing the flames. Everyone claps and says, “Yeah!”
Sam comes around and takes Elara from me to give me a hand. He tosses her in the air and catches her as she squeals in delight. “Eee Daddy again!” she begs and Sam delivers. He never leaves his girls wanting, that’s for sure. I try and fight the sadness washing over me as the thought of Elijah filters through my soul. He is missing their first birthday, just like he missed their first steps and every other monumental development that has come to pass. Sam catches the hint of despair in my eyes and kisses my cheek. He whispers softly in my ear, “Don’t worry. I got it all on film. He will see it all one day.”
I nod my head thankful for his kind heart. “Cake now, Mommy?” William repeats over and over. They both talk like they are two year olds instead of only one. They can string together sentences and name every letter and number under ten. But so far, no signs of angel gifts. I have a reoccurring nightmare that they sprout wings and jump off the roof to test them out. I am too far away to make it to them in time. I wake up with my heart thudding out raucously, and Sam is always there trying to calm me down.
Mia and Maci take the kids from us so that we can serve the cake. They love their aunts. Sam’s family being in Texas has been a huge blessing. His sisters come every other week to babysit, so Sam and I can have a date night. We’ve tried to rekindle the love we once had, but it’s just not happening. We’re more like two best friends raising children together. He still misses Cat. I still miss Elijah, and without them, our souls each have a gaping hole. Our love for the children help to fill that hole, but still, both of us feel like we just can’t go back to the way things were before the affair.
No one besides Elena knows what we went through. It feels good to be able to at least talk to Sam about Amorous and all of the bad things I’ve had to endure. He knows it all now, including how a plane full of people was brought down by demons just to try and kill me. He still won’t give up flying even knowing what he knows. I worry every time he goes out.
That night, after the mess is cleaned, and the babies are sound asleep for the night, we lie in bed. I am content just to be held by him. We haven’t made it past light kisses and long hugs. Neither of us seems ready for anything more yet. Being a new parent has consumed us, and between the kids and work, we seem to always have an excuse to not go any further.
He invites me to lie on his arm, and when I snuggle in close to him, he kisses my cheek. My hand slides inside his soft tee-shirt and caresses his chest. I know I can never be what Cat is to him. And though I am glad to be down from the pedestal he always kept me on, I have to admit, I miss the way he used to look at me. I’d give anything to get that back. “Never give anything Brennen.” I hear Elena chastise in my mind. Right you are Elena. Right you are.
I prop my head up on my elbow and look into Sam’s eyes curious to where his thoughts are tonight. He quickly shy’s away. “Don’t Bren, not tonight.” I catch a glimpse of her face before he turns.
Her lips were swollen from his kisses, and it makes my stomach cinch.
“You miss her. I get it.” She loved him whole heartedly, unconditionally loved him, and still does, I’m sure. Yet, he’s stuck here with me in this great big mansion of lies. There are two children down the hall calling him daddy. Which I do give him genuine props for, he has been a great loving father. He treats those babies like they are his own and I can see the love he has for them inside. He’d give his life for them. I just feel horrible that he can’t be with the person he truly loves. I hate that I am the one keeping him from her. Yes, it’s for the good of the world, and yes, Sam will probably get all of eternity with her. It just still hurts that this is our life. We only have each other to get through it with. We cannot deviate from the plan. A tear escapes my eye, and Sam brushes it away.
“You saw?” he asks. I nod my head, but I don’t make eye contact again. I don’t want him to think I’m intruding into his mind without his permission.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to hurt you,” he says softly. I ease down and turn around so that he can’t see the tears that won’t stop flowing from my eyes.
“Baby, don’t turn from me. I need you to talk to me… Please.” I allow him to help me turn to face him again. “I’m sorry. It’s okay if you see my thoughts. I don’t want there to be any secrets in our marriage. Yes there are times when I miss her, and I’m sure the same goes for you. But she is gone out of my life, Brennen. You are the only one I want in my arms. You are the one that I’d always dreamt would raise our children. I love you so very much, Bren. I want to show you tonight just how much I love you. Will you let me love you?”
I take a dip in his mind just to be sure it’s safe. What I see stirs something in me. He shows me glimpses of him looking at me when I’m not even aware of his eyes on me. His desire shows in his eyes as much as his love for me does. He’s been afraid he could never be enough for me, just the same as my biggest fear with him. We’ve both been struggling with the same heart gripping fear. He still loves me, after everything I’ve put him thr
ough. I love him more than ever because of how he has grown into his role as a father and how he has taken care of us.
“Please love me Sam. I need you,” my passion filled words sigh out. Our revelations to each other tonight have been simple, yet are now an epiphany. We have always depended on one another’s love. We always have. I’m not sure why our paths crossed with our soul mates when they did, or how we became so impossibly tangled in the web, but right now, I know that we are slowly finding our way back again. We are forging something greater than before, and I can feel it growing beyond our comprehension. This time, I won’t try to understand it. I will just let Sam love me, and I will love him right back.
Sam wipes the tears from my eyes once more and steels his gaze on me. He presses his lips to mine with an intensity behind his kiss that I don’t even remember ever feeling before. My lips part allowing him entrance into my mouth, and Sam moans out as if he’s finally home, as if he can finally prop his feet up and relax. I help him out of his shirt, and he slowly takes my gown off. To feel his skin against mine is exquisite. I don’t know how it’s possible, but tonight, we are more than rekindling the old fire. Tonight feels new. Not to diminish what we had before, but it’s like our love has been reborn into something perfect and right. For the first time since we began down this path together, we feel like we are finally whole in each other. Sam fills the hollow that Elijah left, and I fill the chasm that Cat left. I don’t know how, or why, but tonight, Sam and I finally feel complete.
“Sam.” I cry out sounding in awe of him.
My Soul Laid Bare: Book 4 (The Soul Keeper Series) Page 22