Evan shrugs her shoulders. “Nothing to tell. I was so exhausted, I slept for an entire day after I got back to the hotel. When I finally dragged myself out of bed to shower, someone came into our room, stole a bunch of expensive stuff, then when my dad went to fight him off, he pushed him down the stairwell.”
“And they never caught the guy?”
“You know they didn’t.”
“What happened after?”
“He had to have surgery on his knee. They prescribed him pain meds for the recovery, and, well…he liked them a little too much.” She laughs a bitter laugh. “He’s a fucking doctor. He knows how dangerous that stuff is. He should have known better.”
“And your mom?” I ask. “Where is she in all this?”
She looks at me curiously. “Why all the questions? Why do you care?”
“I think I’m entitled to know a thing or two about the person I’m helping.”
“It’s a long story. But she’ll be in New York this time tomorrow, and unless I find a place to stay, I’ll be right there with her. That box was my lifeline. I saved everything I had to get me through the summer.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah.”
I clear my throat, not knowing what else to say. This is usually the point where I’d bend her over the arm of the couch, but considering the circumstances, I don’t think that’s in the cards tonight. “Bathroom’s back there,” I say, pointing toward the back of the trailer. “I’ll take you home in the morning.”
“Thanks,” Evan whispers, adjusting the thin strap of her tank top that slipped down her shoulder. “For everything.”
I give her a short nod before turning for my bed. I can feel her watching as I peel my shirt over my head and kick off my jeans and boots. I look back to find Evan’s eyes raking over my body, but she averts her gaze when she realizes she’s been caught. Reaching for the sheet I gave her earlier, she pulls it over her tiny form and curls up on her side.
I crawl into my bed, clasping my hands behind my head as I stare up at Eros’ bunk that’s about a foot above my face until I hear Evan’s breathing even out. What the fuck was I thinking?
I wake up to a foot dangling in my face from the bunk above me. Eros. Motherfucker knows I hate that shit. I pull on his ankle and he rolls off his bunk, hitting the floor with a thud.
“What the fuck, bro?” he groans before rolling onto his side, promptly falling back asleep.
Grabbing my discarded jeans from the night before, I sit on the edge of my bed and shrug them on, not bothering to button them. I reach into Eros’ back pocket, stealing a cigarette from his pack, and stash it between my lips. After taking a piss, I head toward the front of the trailer, snatching a shirt off the bunk and hanging it from the back of the waistband of my pants. I realize Evan’s not on the couch just as I hear hushed voices coming from outside.
Pushing open the door and squinting at the bright light, I step out to find Evan and Elliot sitting on the folding chairs outside the trailer. Evan’s back is to me, so Elliot is the first to notice my arrival.
“Rough night?” he asks.
“She’s a wild one,” I say, sending a wink in Evan’s direction, and she rolls her eyes. Elliot clamps his mouth shut, looking away. I bend over, grabbing a lighter someone left on top of the cooler last night. Finders keepers. “You good?” I ask Evan, flicking the lighter before taking a drag.
“He brought donuts,” she responds, holding up a pink one with sprinkles.
“Cute,” I say shortly, with a pointed look at Elliot. What’s he playing at? He doesn’t bring donuts. This is the second time he’s gotten Evan alone. “You ready to go?” I ask her.
“Uh, yeah,” Evan says, but she’s looking right at the crotch of my unbuttoned jeans. I smirk when Elliot realizes what’s got her attention. Evan shakes her head. “Let me just get my backpack.” She stands, dropping her donut back into the box Elliot’s holding before heading inside.
Once she’s inside, I flick my cigarette and walk over to Elliot, picking up Evan’s half-eaten donut and taking a big bite. Chick hasn’t had anything to eat but cotton fucking candy in the past twelve hours. This is why I don’t have pets. You have to feed them and shit.
“Thanks for breakfast.”
When Evan comes back out, still in her pajamas, backpack slung over one shoulder, I tuck her under my arm while staring Elliot dead in the eye. Off limits. I don’t know why he insists on hanging around. It doesn’t matter if he works for us. He’s still an outsider.
Evan is quiet on the ride home. Not that talking is possible over the sound of my bike, but even still, I can sense her somber mood—feel it in her body language. Her grip on me is loose. She doesn’t hold on for dear life like the first couple times she rode on the back of my bike, like she’s too distracted to be concerned for her own safety.
When we near her driveway, there’s a flashy BMW parked outside her house. I know the moment Evan notices because she turns to stone behind me. Joy. I leave my bike idling, not wanting to stick around for whatever soap opera-style drama is sure to go down.
“This is exactly what I need right now,” Evan mutters, handing me the helmet as a guy and a girl exit the car, eyeing Evan with a mixture of contempt and curiosity.
“Friends of yours?” I ask for some stupid fucking reason. Drop the girl off and go.
“Oh, yeah. The best of friends.” Sarcasm drips from every word.
“Is this carny dude?” the guy says, flicking his chin toward me. Ah, now I recognize him. It’s that golden boy fuck from the beach party we crashed. I kill the engine, coming to a stand next to Evan while they make their way toward us.
The chick eyes me like she hasn’t had carbs in years and I’m a giant slice of pizza, while the other kid’s looking at me like I stole his favorite toy.
“Did my mom call you?” Evan asks.
“What? No. Why would your mom call?” the redhead asks with her face screwed up in confusion.
“What do you guys want?” Evan asks, hiding the look of hurt, or maybe disappointment, that flashes across her face, but not before I see it.
“I came to explain,” the guy says. “Savannah, tell her.” He nudges her forward, causing her to stumble in her shoes that could be used as a murder weapon. The redhead—Savannah, apparently—rolls her eyes and mumbles something as she inspects her fingernails.
“Speak up,” Evan commands, and I quirk a brow at her take-no-prisoners tone. I’m not going to lie. That was almost hot.
“I said I’m sorry. Or whatever.”
Evan huffs out a sardonic laugh, and I take that as my cue to leave.
“As much as I’d love to see how this little after-school special plays out, I gotta run.” It’s Sunday. Also known as slough night. We’ve got one last show, then we have to tear everything down and hit the road in the morning.
“Give us a minute,” Evan says.
“We’ll be inside.” The kid pulls the reluctant redhead toward Evan’s front door.
“Sorry…about all that,” she says once they’re inside, one hand rests on her hip as the other one blocks the sun from her eyes. “So, you’re leaving? For the rest of summer?”
I nod. “We’ll be gone tomorrow morning.”
“It feels different this time,” she says, looking past me, toward the street. “Doesn’t it?”
“What does?”
“You. Leaving.”
“You telling me you’re going to miss me, Princess?”
At that, she scoffs. “You wish.”
“You good here?” I ask, straddling my bike. It’s not my business. Evan isn’t my business. But leaving her in the middle of this shit show niggles at the conscience I didn’t know I had.
“I’ll survive.”
“Yeah, you will,” I agree. She’s tough for a spoiled chick. “Have fun in New York.” Before she has a chance to respond, I start up my bike, walking it backward down her driveway until I reach the street. Evan holds up a palm, giving m
e a half-hearted wave. I rev my bike, and then I’m gone.
“That’s a wrap,” Eros says, loading the last of the gear into the trailer. “Elliot driving?” he asks.
“Yep.” He does the majority of the driving—that was the agreement when he wanted to come on the road with us. That, along with emptying the toilets at the dump site.
“Good. I need to get some shut-eye before we get to California.”
“Maybe if you didn’t stay up all night snorting coke off Destiny’s tits, you wouldn’t be so tired.”
“What else was I supposed to do?” he asks. “You were gone. Lathan and Tres passed out. I was bored.”
“Ready?” Lathan calls out the door of the bunkhouse that’s hitched to the truck that Elliot’s driving. Tres is driving the trailer with our bikes and equipment.
“All loaded up,” Eros says, sliding the door to the trailer shut. Rounding the trailer, we walk up the steps into the bunkhouse. Elliot starts the truck, waiting for the caravan of cars, trucks, and trailers for his turn to leave. Generally, we travel with the rest of the carnival. It’s easier to stay on schedule that way.
“Elliot wants to ride in the globe,” Lathan says, smirking from his spot in the U-shaped booth behind the table before ripping a piece of licorice off with his teeth. “He brought it up again after the show last night.”
“Not happening.” I shut that shit down immediately.
“Definitely not happening,” Eros agrees. Elliot has been after this since he first showed up. He rides, but he isn’t ready for the globe, even if we did allow him the chance. Twenty percent is about skill. The other eighty percent? It’s about trust. Confidence. Instinct. I know what move Eros, Tres, and Lathan are going to make before they make it.
“There’s still something about him I don’t trust.”
“I think he’s harmless. Annoying as fuck,” Lathan concedes, “but harmless.”
“It’s been two years. If he was going to do something shady, he’d have done it by now,” Eros points out.
“Agreed. It’s not his fault he idolizes Sexy Sebastian,” Lathan says, laughing.
“Fuck off—” I start, but I’m interrupted by the bunkhouse coming to an abrupt stop before we’ve even made it off the lot.
“What the…” Eros leans out the door. “You’re not going to believe this shit,” he says, ducking his head back inside with a shit-eating grin.
“What is it?” Lathan asks around a mouthful of licorice.
“Not what. Who.”
Stepping out, I see Evan standing there, two bags on her shoulders and a suitcase at her feet. When she notices me, she lifts her arms, shrugging.
“Hi.”
THE DREAD IN MY STOMACH grows as I watch Sebastian’s back fade into the distance. I wish I could live like him. To be a nomad. To have no one to answer to, no frenemies, no drug-addicted, absentee parents to let you down. Sebastian is free, and what I want to be, more than anything else…is free.
Walking back into my house feels like walking into a snake pit. Savannah and Drew don’t really rate on my list of things to cry about since last night. The betrayal still stings, especially coming from Drew, but for some reason, it just doesn’t feel as significant. None of this does. I’m tired of putting on an act. Of being so fucking perfect all the time, when my life is anything but.
When I open my door, I find Sav and Drew standing in my kitchen. Savannah is leaned in close, her hand in his.
“Now it makes sense,” I say, startling them both. Savannah looks victorious while Drew looks caught. “You’re fucking her?” I ask, throwing a hand in Savannah’s direction. Drew doesn’t answer. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You hate her.”
“I did hate her,” he confesses, and Sav pouts. “But it just sort of…happened.”
“So, what, you slipped and fell into her magical vagina that made you spill all my secrets?”
“That’s not how it happened.”
“You know what, I don’t even care.” I can’t afford to care about this, for the sake of my sanity.
I turn for the hallway to my room, uncaring that I’m leaving them in my kitchen. Uncaring of just about everything right now. I throw my bag down and lie on my bed, looking at the lights that hang above while I hear hushed arguing coming from my kitchen. I yawn, rubbing at my kinked neck from sleeping on the couch in the trailer.
My mind wanders to Sebastian. I can’t seem to figure him out. One minute, he’s kissing the breath out of me and the next, he acts like he doesn’t even see me. I thought something would happen last night. Hooking up in a bunkhouse full of people isn’t exactly ideal, but he didn’t even try to kiss me or cop a feel. Then I didn’t get so much as a high-five when he left. I guess seeing a girl fighting with her pill-popping father kills the appeal.
“Drew didn’t tell me about your dad,” Savannah admits from my doorway. I drag myself into a sitting position, swinging my legs over the side of my bed. “I was looking through his phone when he was in the shower. That’s how I found out about everything.”
“Sounds exactly like something you’d do.” I nod.
“Consider it your karma.”
“Excuse you?”
“You walk around like you own this city. Like you’re so above everyone. You act like I’m the bitch when the truth is, we both are. The difference is, I own who I am.”
I give a bitter laugh. I want to tell her I’ve been a shit friend because my world has been slowly falling apart, like one long game of Jenga, hanging precariously on the edge. If one more block comes out, my whole tower might just collapse. It’s not about feeling superior. But I don’t say any of that.
“I just can’t figure out why Drew here would feel the need to lie to me.” I fling a hand in his direction.
“I was trying to be a good friend,” he says, coming up behind her. “To both of you,” he adds.
My eyebrows shoot up. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you two were so close,” I say, gesturing between them.
“Jesus,” Drew says, running a hand through his short brown hair. A move he does when he’s frustrated. “There are things about Savannah you don’t know. I was trying to be loyal to both of you.”
“I see exactly where your loyalty lies.”
“That’s not fair, Evan,” Drew snaps. He never snaps. “I’ve always been a good friend to you. It’s been the Evan show for the past four years, and I’ve been there for you through it all. Do you really think I’m that guy?”
“Wow.” I slap my palms down onto my thighs. “I didn’t realize being my friend was such a burden.” Didn’t I, though? I relied on Drew. Too much, apparently. I didn’t mean to make it all about me. I just didn’t have anyone else to talk to. I didn’t know how to deal.
I see the second the regret hits him. “I didn’t mean it like that. You know I love you.”
At that, Savannah’s claws finally make an appearance. Her eyes flash with jealousy before narrowing into slits.
Drew clears his throat. “I mean, you’re my best friend.” I’ve suspected that he’s had feelings for me in the past, but he never acted on it and selfishly, I never wanted to rock the boat. I needed my friend.
“It’s not that you’re with her,” I say, gesturing to Savannah. “You lied to me.”
“I asked him to,” Savannah admits. “I didn’t want anyone to know about us.”
“Why?”
“Because!” Savannah screeches. “Because I know what you think of me. And I knew you’d talk him out of being with me.”
I don’t know what to say to that. I mean, I would’ve tried to warn him, but I don’t know that I hold that kind of power.
“Is this the part where you tell me you’ve changed?”
“I told you this was stupid,” Savannah mutters to Drew with an eye roll. How this girl and I were ever best friends, I’ll never know.
“Give us a minute, Sav,” Drew instructs. She exhales dramatically before leaving us alone.
“I k
now I fucked up. I just wanted to apologize,” Drew says, coming to sit next to me on the bed. “She’s not a bad—”
“Please don’t defend her to me,” I say tiredly. “I know her better than anyone. Nothing makes her happier than knocking me down a notch. We’ve been playing this game since middle school, and in her eyes, she just won.”
“There are things you don’t know about her. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Yeah, well, that’s exactly what she meant to do.”
“I’ll work on her.”
“I’m sure you will,” I say, scrunching my nose up in disgust.
“Stop being a brat.” Drew laughs, throwing an arm around me. I lay my head on his shoulder, and I know we’ll be fine. This thing with Savannah will inevitably end badly, but that’s his decision.
“My mom’s making me go to New York to stay with my grandparents for the summer.”
“What the fuck?” Drew asks, looking down at me.
“Yep. I don’t know where else to go.”
“Shit.” He blows out a breath, scrubbing a hand down his face. “I’d tell you to stay with me, but my dad would never go for it, and I don’t get my dorm until August.” He’s staying local to play football at ASU.
“No, I know.” I wave him off. “It’s okay. It’s just for the summer anyway.”
“What about Sav—”
“Not going to happen,” I cut him off.
“It’s going to be weird without you,” he says, kicking the tips of his sneakers against my bedpost.
“I’m sure your hands will be too full to miss me,” I grumble, earning a laugh. “You won’t even remember my name by the time I come home.”
“So, what’s up with you and the carny?” he asks.
“Absolutely nothing,” I groan, flinging myself backward onto my bed, covering my eyes with the palms of my hands.
“You could always run away with the circus,” Drew teases, twisting his torso to peel a hand from my face.
My eyes spring open, and I sit up abruptly, almost head-butting Drew. That’s not a bad idea. In fact, it might be exactly what I need. “It’s the carnival, not the circus, but you’re a genius.”
Rewrite the Stars Page 9