‘Fuck you.’
Kallie’s left arm reached out in a flash, grabbing Keira by the throat. She formed her other hand into a fist, and raised it .
‘I’m not sacred of you, Keira, not any more. Ye speak to me like that again and I’ll kick the shit out of you. Understand?’
Keira struggled, but Kallie’s gasp on her throat was strong and firm, and her own limbs were still weak and aching from being out all night in the cold. She bared her teeth at Kallie, and glared at her, but said nothing.
Kallie released her, and sat back down in her seat. Keira rolled away and clambered off the bed, stumbling and clattering into her bedside table, one hand on her bruised throat.
‘Ye’ve no fucking clue what I’ve been through,’ she said. ‘No fucking idea.’
‘I spoke to Laodoc and Agang as well as Bridget,’ Kallie said. ‘I know enough.’
‘Then ye know yer being fucking unreasonable. Ye know that I’ve had to kill thousands, over and over again. Rahain, Rakanese, Sanang, Holdings, you fucking name them, I’ve slaughtered them. And yer seriously asking me to go out and do it again?’
‘Aye.’
‘Well I’m fucking not.’
Kallie stood. ‘Aye ye are. Get dressed and get yer arse through to the tavern. I’ll be waiting.’
She opened the door and left Keira’s room.
The mage sat on her bed. Did nobody understand that she couldn’t face killing again? They just demanded shit from her, without giving a fuck about how she felt about any of it. The Rahain, the Alliance, Kylon, she had just been a tool in their sweaty hands, a killing machine, pointed in the direction of their enemies, and let loose.
She gazed at the small lamp, burning by her bedside. The joy she used to feel when she was connected to a living flame had gone, replaced by bitter resistance. She hadn’t used her powers since outside the walls of the imperial capital, when she had felt those powers vanish. For an hour she had been unable to summon even the slightest reserve of her skills, but instead of feeling downhearted about it, she had felt nothing but relief, the lifting of a great burden from her shoulders. She had been crushed when she had felt her powers return.
What kind of fire mage was she, that wished she could scourge her powers from her body? She longed to be free of the curse of being a mage.
Not just any mage, but the best. A fucking goddess.
A goddess.
She stood and got dressed, finding her cleanest clothes from where someone had folded them into a drawer. She brushed her tangled hair, and drank another full mug of water.
Then she remembered Flora.
Shit.
What had she done?
She tried to summon up her cocky sneer but lacked the energy, so walked into the tavern looking like death warmed up. Kendrie was at the bar, serving a couple of patrons. He glanced up at her, smirking, but she ignored him. She gazed around the quiet room, and saw Kallie sitting by the window, Kelpie and Flora next to her.
She went over and sat down in silence.
Kelpie raised an eyebrow, and glanced at Kallie. Flora was also looking at Kallie, the expression on her face like she was gazing at a vision.
‘I believe you owe this lassie an apology,’ Kallie said.
Keira narrowed her eyes. ‘For what? I was only joking last night. I wouldnae really have let those guys do anything to her.’
‘Stop lying,’ Kallie said. ‘For once just be honest, and admit ye fucked up.’
Keira looked from one women to the other, her head pounding. She gagged, and tasted bile in her mouth.
‘I fucked up.’
‘And?’ Kallie said.
Keira gazed at Flora. ‘Sorry,’ she muttered.
Kelpie snorted. ‘By the arse cheeks of Pyre himself, there’s something I never thought I’d hear. ’
Flora looked into Keira’s eyes. ‘Thank you.’
‘She’s coming with us, Keira,’ Kallie said, ‘when we head north tomorrow.’
Keira shook her head.
‘She can carry the lamp for ye,’ Kallie went on, ‘just like Lacey used to. Once we get to Northern Kell, we spread the word that yer back, and then hit the lizards where it hurts. There will be justice at last.’
‘I’m in,’ said Flora. ‘Laodoc and Agang were right. The longer we sit here, the more likely the Emperor will come, and when he does, he’ll destroy everything. All the families here trying to rebuild their lives will be devastated. We can’t wait until that happens, we owe it to them to fight.’
‘Owe them?’ Keira said. ‘What do I owe them?’
‘By coming here ye’ve endangered everybody,’ Kallie said. ‘Yer wee holiday’s over. Ye’ve got today to sort yer shit out.’
Keira glanced at Kelpie.
The older woman shook her head. ‘I’ve looked after ye the best I can, but I’ve always wanted ye to head back into the world when ye were ready. Keira, despite yer best attempts to piss me off, I’ll always be fond of ye. I’ll always remember what ye did for Kell when the lizards first invaded. But our deal’s over. It’s time to go.’
‘Yer kicking me out?’
‘Aye, if it comes to that.’
‘So yer all fucking ganging up on me?’
Flora shrugged. ‘It’s because we love you.’
Keira tried to fire back with something, but the words stuck in her throat. Pyre’s fucking tits, her head was splitting.
‘I’ve got something to show you,’ Kallie said. ‘The Severed Clan left a load of stuff here when they cleared out, luggage and boxes. I was looking through one of Laodoc’s crates this morning when ye were sleeping. I wanted to see if he’d left anything behind that he might want kept safe, ye know, before Kelpie chucks it all out. At the bottom, I found a load of woman’s clothing in a bag.’ She reached into her pocket. ‘I also found this. ’
She placed something onto the table.
Keira stared at it. ‘What the fuck?’
It was a small wooden bear, rearing up on its hind legs, its claws and teeth carved to sharp points.
‘Killop’s wee bear.’
Kallie nodded. ‘I took it from yer home in Kell years ago, then left it in the Rahain Capital when I was arrested with Killop and Bridget. I’ve no idea how it got mixed up with that luggage, but I thought ye might want it.’
Keira picked it up. It felt so light.
‘Yer da made it, aye?’ said Kallie.
Keira smirked. ‘That’s what Killop thinks.’
Kallie frowned.
‘Our da did make one for him,’ Keira said, gazing at the carved beast, ‘but I broke it one night by accident, and then buried the bits in the garden to hide the evidence. The next morning Killop went mental looking for it, so I went away and made him another one. Took me days. I had to dig up the broken one, so I could copy it, then I hid the new one under his bed so he could find it.’
‘You made it?’ Kallie said.
‘Aye. My copy was so good he never fucking noticed it was different.’
‘And now it’s back with you.’
‘But it belongs to my wee brother.’
‘Then you should take it to him,’ Kallie said, ‘after we’ve cleared Kell of lizards.’
Keira laughed, then caught the expressions on the faces of the others.
‘Fucksake, alright,’ she said. ‘We’ll go to Kell, but I’m not making any promises about what I’ll do when we get there.’
Kallie nodded, then glanced at Kelpie.
‘We’ll be leaving quietly in the morning,’ she said. ‘No announcements, no big farewells.’
‘Folk’ll realise that the mage has left,’ Kelpie said. ‘I won’t be able to keep it a secret for long. ’
‘Tell them she’s away to visit folk in the lowlands,’ Kallie said. ‘I’d rather we were well on our way before everybody realises where we’ve really gone.’
‘Alright,’ Kelpie said.
‘Now,’ Keira said. ‘We’ve got the rest of the day free, let’s g
et the whisky in.’
Kallie shook her head. ‘No chance. I want ye sober until we leave.’
‘What?’ Keira groaned.
‘Ye heard me,’ the red-haired Kell woman said. ‘And don’t bother trying to get some. Every place in Westgate’s been told not to sell ye any, and Kendrie’s going to be keeping an eye on the bar here.’
Keira frowned. ‘Fucksake. I’m beginning to regret this already.’
Chapter 14
The Presence of Royalty
H old Fast, Holdings Republic – 8 th Day, Second Third Autumn 507
‘Sorry I’m late,’ Killop said as he entered the grand dining room. He nodded at Godfrey, sitting at the head of the long table, then at the other adult members of the Holdfast family, who were lining the sides. He got a curt frown from Rosalind as he took his seat next to Celine, and opposite Ariel and Jonah.
‘That’s fine, Killop,’ Godfrey said. ‘We were just getting started.’
‘Was Karalyn not wanting to leave her daddy?’ Ariel smiled, her swollen abdomen visible.
‘Aye,’ Killop said. ‘She was a wee bit reluctant, but Jean’s got it under control.’
‘She’s quite a handful, is young Karalyn,’ Rosalind said. ‘It’s what comes from her mother always being away, playing soldiers when she should be looking after her daughter.’
‘The Kellach style of parenting is more relaxed,’ Killop said. ‘We tend to give our wee ones free rein when they’re that small.’
‘So you think we’re too strict?’
‘No,’ Killop said, ‘just different.’
‘I believe that discipline is at the heart of every successful example of child-rearing,’ Rosalind said. ‘It might very well be what has propelled the Holdings race to the forefront of the world, rather than languishing in some backwater.’
Killop pondered the wisdom of entering into another argument with Lady Holdfast.
‘You can’t be serious, mother,’ said Ariel. ‘Are you trying to say that the misfortunes that have struck the Kellach Brigdomin are because they don’t cane their children enough?’
‘I’m merely suggesting that it may be part of what makes ours the superior culture,’ Rosalind said. ‘There will be other factors, of course. Literacy, for example. I believe that the Kellach see no use in learning how to read or write.’
‘I agree with you there,’ Killop said. ‘That’s why we set up schools in Slateford. It’s true that we never saw any need for literacy before we were invaded, though there was at least one scribe in most villages. But now?’
‘I fear it may be a little too late,’ Rosalind said. ‘With the Emperor having cleared all of the Kellach Brigdomin from the Imperial Capital and Rainsby, and with the Rahain in control of what remains of your homeland, I wonder if your race has any future in this world, except as ever-dwindling numbers of beggars, recruits for the army, or bandits.’
Killop took a sip of water from a tall crystal goblet on the table, as servants began to serve their opening course.
‘And which of those three would you say I am?’ he said.
Rosalind smiled. ‘Oh, you’re a special case.’ She paused as a plate was set before her.
‘Really, dear,’ Godfrey said. ‘I’m sure Killop doesn’t need to hear any more about the ill luck afflicting his people.’
Rosalind stared at her husband. ‘And might I enquire why you have been so quiet? You usually aren’t so reserved at the dinner table.’
‘If you must know,’ Godfrey said, his expression dark, ‘I’ve just been at a briefing with my intelligence officers. The first detailed reports of the casualties resulting from the Emperor’s Rakanese campaign have arrived. They make grim reading. ’
He picked up a spoon and stirred his soup, his eyes cast down.
‘Well?’ said Jonah.
‘Please,’ Rosalind said, ‘not while we’re eating.’
‘I have friends who were conscripted into the imperial army,’ Jonah said. ‘Father?’
Godfrey looked up. ‘Over fifty thousand dead. Another twenty thousand in their beds, too sick to return to the Plateau. The rest were abandoned when the Emperor departed Rakana, and ordered to make their way to Rainsby, to re-populate the town there.’
The table sat in silence.
‘And every horse that accompanied the army,’ Godfrey went on. ‘Dead.’
Jonah closed his eyes.
‘We shall have to rebuild our stocks from scratch,’ Godfrey said. ‘It’ll take years before we have anything like our previous numbers, maybe a generation.’ He glared at Rosalind. ‘See what your precious Emperor has done to us. You may be able to blind yourself to the fact that a Rahain army is currently occupying the River Holdings, but you can’t ignore the empty fields and paddocks right here on the estate.’
‘The army is here because of you, Godfrey,’ Rosalind spat. ‘You’re the one who has put our lives in danger. Your foolish and selfish rebellion against the Creator-appointed ruler of the world will do nothing but damage to our country, and you try to blame me for it? Of course the Emperor has moved his army into the River Holdings. He had to. All order had broken down, with the ignorant peasants following your puppet Faden Holdwick. But I’m not overly concerned. The Emperor will overthrow the pathetic new government, and restore order.’
‘And what about Daphne?’ Killop said.
‘She was naïve to get herself caught up in it,’ Rosalind said, ‘but once again, she believed whatever her father told her. He barked, and she jumped up and down like an eager little puppy.’
‘Shut up, mother,’ Jonah said.
Rosalind glared at her son. Killop shared a glance with Celine.
‘What did you just say to me, young man?’ Rosalind said .
‘Tell me mother,’ Jonah said, ‘what exactly would the Emperor have to do before you condemn him? Slaughter half the River Holdings? Kill Ariel’s husband, and your youngest daughter? Even then I believe you’d find some way to justify his actions. We all know you hate Father, but now I wonder how far you’d go.’
‘How dare you?’ she said. ‘I expect as much from the others, but you, Jonah? After everything I’ve done for you, you turn on me now?’
Ariel and Jonah shouted at the same time, and Killop sat back as the table descended into a row. He frowned at Celine.
‘Another happy family dinner,’ she whispered to him.
‘Quiet!’ Godfrey roared, and Jonah and Ariel fell silent.
Rosalind smiled, her arms folded.
‘You two,’ Godfrey said, ‘apologise for raising your voices at your mother.’
‘Sorry,’ muttered Jonah.
Ariel tutted.
Godfrey glared at her.
‘Fine, I’m sorry,’ she said.
‘Remember,’ Godfrey said, ‘Celine and Killop are new to the family. What must they think when they see you behave like that?’
‘Killop’s not part of the family,’ Jonah said.
‘That’s not his fault,’ Godfrey said. ‘Marriage is prohibited between Holdings and Kellach Brigdomin under imperial law, otherwise I’m sure he and Daphne would have wedded.’ He glanced at Killop. ‘Isn’t that right?’
‘Aye.’
‘Did you not live together for a considerable period under your own laws in Rahain?’ Rosalind said. ‘I would have thought you’d have had ample time for a wedding ceremony there if you were serious about committing to my daughter.’
Killop clenched his fists under the table. ‘The way you said that, it sounded for a moment as if you actually care about Daphne.’
The others fell quiet. A tiny smile appeared on Celine’s lips.
‘I care about the reputation of the family,’ Rosalind said .
‘Then you should be very proud of your daughter, Lady Holdfast,’ Killop said. ‘Daphne is a credit to your family.’
‘She appeals to a certain class among the ill-educated, I’ll grant you,’ she said, ‘but I assure you, the better bred amongst us do not
share that view.’
‘And when we get married, what will the so-called better bred think then?’
‘I hesitate to say, in case I ruin everyone’s appetites.’
Killop pushed his untouched bowl of soup away. ‘Too late for that.’
‘Come now, Killop,’ Godfrey said. ‘Don’t play her game. She wants you to get up and walk away, so she can present it to everyone as further proof that you don’t fit in.’ He glanced at his wife. ‘Isn’t that right, dear?’
Rosalind performed a false smile.
‘If one cannot speak freely at the dinner table,’ she said, ‘then I fear for the future under Faden’s regime. Well, I would fear, were it not for the fact that the Emperor will soon be in Holdings City to put things in order, and hold those responsible to account.’
Ariel started crying.
‘Oh, do be quiet,’ Rosalind said. ‘Don’t waste your tears on that foolish man. He doesn’t deserve them, Ariel, not after he betrayed you the same way your father betrayed me.’
Godfrey’s face twisted in rage. ‘What have I told you about bringing that up?’
Rosalind ignored him. ‘Some men just can’t help themselves,’ she said to Ariel, ‘especially, it seems, when they are in the presence of royalty.’
‘It’s not true,’ Ariel wept.
Rosalind sighed. ‘You’re such a dreamer, Ariel. I remember feeling the way you do now, faced with the realisation that the father of your children had chosen a woman so far above your station that she may as well be a goddess.’ She shook her head. ‘Unfortunately, daughter, I learned one cannot compete with a queen.’
‘Enough!’ Godfrey roared, getting to his feet.
Killop tensed, as the air in the room grew chill .
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