“Oh, Craig,” I cried and flung myself forward into his arms. No, it wasn’t planned. No, it may not have been the right time for us, but in that moment with Craig’s comforting arms surrounding me and his child growing inside of me, I felt… complete. “I love you.”
After several more heartfelt apologies and promises that he would try to be a good father, Craig and I walked hand in hand back toward the kitchen where we found Scott and Becki chatting quietly around the table. As soon as we walked in, Becki’s gaze shot to mine and then dropped to our linked hands. She smiled and visibly relaxed. This was why I loved Becki so much, no matter what the situation, she would always be there supporting me and protecting me in the way only best friends could.
“I hope you guys don’t mind but we decided to order in Chinese. Amber needs to eat and we’re both hungry. If you prefer time to yourselves that’s cool, we’ll just grab something else on the way home.” Becki grabbed my hand and squeezed gently as I took the seat beside her.
“I thought you were eating out earlier,” Craig said as he pulled out the remaining chair to sit.
“We um… didn’t get a chance.” Heat scorched my cheeks as I recalled the reason why we hadn’t managed to eat while we were out. Craig looked at me quizzically but thankfully let it go. Having just received life altering news he needed time and space to let it sink in.
“So you haven’t eaten since yesterday?” he asked.
Shaking my head no, I told him Becki was just about to make sandwiches when he came in. “Ambs, you must eat, especially now. The baby will need you to be strong and healthy.” My heart swelled at his acknowledgement of the baby and Becki’s hand, still holding mine, gave another gentle squeeze.
“Ha, that’s what I told her. Poppet will need regular feeding and plenty of rest.”
“Who is Poppet?” Craig asked, confused by Becki’s statement.
Becki lifted her glass off the table and pointed it in Craig’s direction, sloshing water over the edge. “Poppet is your son or daughter and my future God son or daughter.” She looked at me with a wink before lifting the glass to her lips to take a drink.
“You’ve called my son Poppet?” Craig asked incredulously glaring at Becki.
“Your son or daughter; yes, I’ve named him or her, Poppet. I can’t be calling it, ‘it’ for the next however many months.”
“But why Poppet, Bec? It’s just so… girlie. What if it’s a boy?”
Becki rolled her eyes and slumped back in the chair clearly exasperated with Craig. I found the whole interaction highly amusing and heart-warming at the same time. “Craig, Poppet is neither masculine nor feminine, it’s a flipping name and a cute one at that. You can call your son or daughter whatever you like, but Scott and I will be calling her, Poppet. And yes I do believe it will be a girl.” There was a finality to Becki’s tone that made me giggle.
“Whoa, Bec, don’t be bringing me into this. I’m a guy. Guy’s don’t go for the whole cute baby pet name thing. Until it’s born and crying and pooping then it’s ‘the baby’. Sorry, babes but you won’t hear me call it Poppet.” Scott redirected his gaze from his scowling girlfriend to me. “Sorry Ambs, no offence.”
“None taken,” I replied trying, and failing, to hide the laughter that wanted to escape. After the emotional events of the day I needed the cathartic release. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled through my giggles, “you guys are killing me here. Baby, Poppet, It, Thingy they are all good, and I’m sure he or she will love you regardless.” Unable to hold it back any longer, I let the lightness and laughter consume me. When I finally looked up and wiped the tears from my eyes I found three pairs of eyes watching me like I’d gone mad.
The doorbell chimed and Becki jumped to her feet saying she would get it. Craig insisted I stay where I was and wandered off to get the plates and cutlery. A few minutes later, there was a mountain of plastic and foil dishes in front of us and my stomach growled loudly letting everyone know I was ready to eat. Craig took the lid off the first container, noodles; my favourite. When he removed the lid from the next container the sudden stench of ginger and other spices invaded my nostrils and travelled straight through me. I jumped to my feet, pushing my chair away from me and ran to the small ground floor bathroom. I made it in and fell to the floor in front of the toilet as the first gut wrenching heave took hold.
The door opened and closed behind me and I felt Craig’s hands rubbing soothing circles on my back. “Are you okay, baby?”
Nodding, I sucked in a deep breath and tried to calm my quivering stomach. If this was morning, afternoon or evening sickness they could take it.
“Can I get you anything? What do you need?”
I grabbed some tissue and wiped my mouth before I turned on my knees to face a concerned looking Craig. “I’m okay, its morning sickness I think.”
Craig frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could have got you something.”
“I didn’t know what it was. It only came on this afternoon, after I found-” I dropped my gaze to the floor, unable to look Craig in the eyes, remembering his earlier reaction to our news.
“Hey, it’s okay. It will all be okay,” Craig said softly and pulled me against his chest. “I’m so sorry about earlier, Ambs. I was a dick and wasn’t thinking about you. What can I do to help?”
“This,” I said and wrapped my arms around his back, soaking in his warmth and comfort.
Somehow I managed to make it through dinner, choosing to eat just the rice and noodles. The smells of some of the other dishes were still getting to me and churning my stomach but I managed to keep everything down. By the time I’d finished eating, I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed. Becki and Scott were still tossing insults around and joking with Craig and I knew it would be a good couple of hours before I would be able to go to bed.
“Thanks for dinner guys but I think Amber needs some rest.” I looked toward Craig and couldn’t contain the yawn that overtook me.
“I’m good, I’m okay,” I replied as I yawned again.
Becki smiled at me knowingly and stood. “Come on Scotty, time for us to go and let mummy here get some sleep. Perhaps when we get home you can show me how these baby things are made.”
“You might as well get the practice in, Bec. This will be you one day,” I said. A look of sheer horror crossed her face as she tugged on Scott’s arm to get him to move.
“Oh hell no, that will never happen. Can you see me with a baby? I’m quite happy living the rest of my life cooing over everybody else’s babies. I couldn’t deal with one full time though.” I smiled. Despite her wacky personality and insistence she wasn’t mother material, I knew Becki would be a wonderful mother… one day.
I woke to a cold bed and the smell of bacon wafting up from the kitchen. My stomach immediately protested at the nauseating smell and I had to rush into the bathroom.
How long did this last for, surely not the entire pregnancy?
I didn’t think I would be able to cope with many more days, let alone several months, of the tiring to and fro to pray to the bathroom gods.
Craig was walking through the doorway as I walked back into the bedroom. He had a tray in his hands and my e-reader lodged under his arm. “I brought you breakfast in bed, Ambs. Climb in and get comfy.” He nodded his head toward the bed.
“You didn’t need to do that. I would have come down for it.”
“And where would the apology be in that?” he said as I arranged the pillows behind me and got comfy.
“You don’t need to apologise anymore, Craig. You said you were sorry and I forgave you.”
He placed the tray on my lap and the e-reader on the bedside table and then climbed onto the bed next to me. “Maybe so, but I still acted like an idiot and I wanted to make it up to you. Besides, I need to make sure you’re eating properly now. Were you just sick again?”
Craig had gone all out to make the breakfast special, and thankfully nothing on the tray was turning my st
omach. I nodded as I picked up a sliced croissant covered with cream cheese and bacon pieces. The flavour exploded on my tongue and I quickly devoured it relishing every mouthful. I made quick work of the remaining croissant and bowl of fruit and eyed Craig over the top of the glass as I glugged the orange juice back. “What are you smiling at?”
“You look beautiful. You have a rosy glow,” he said, grabbing the glass from my hands and finishing my drink.
“Yeah, well, that’s what pregnancy does for you I guess,” I said scowling at him as he took the tray and placed it on the dresser. I immediately regretted what I’d said, still feeling uncomfortable with speaking about the pregnancy with him. The constant worry inside me reminded me of his initial reaction.
“Amber, stop looking so worried. I’m okay with this now, I promise.” Craig returned to the bed, lying down beside me and drawing me in close. I turned my head to face him and stared into his gorgeous green eyes. “I’ve already explained how I felt yesterday, Ambs, and I can’t take that back. I can only tell you how I feel now.” His hand moved to caress my face.
“And how is that?” I whispered.
He brushed the hair away from my face and then made a lazy trail down the side of my body. “I’m slowly getting used to the idea of us being parents. I know you are going to be a fantastic mum. I just worry about my abilities to be a good dad.”
“You will be an amazing father, Craig. How can you not be? You’re smart, loving, caring, athletic, no child could ask for more.”
When his hand stopped and came to rest over my tummy I gasped and momentarily stopped breathing. “But I’ve not always been this way, Ambs. I’ve told you about my past, I don’t want our child growing up to be like the younger me.”
Tears puddled in my eyes at hearing him think so badly of himself. He’d been through a rough time and was acting out, I knew that. It didn’t define who he was though.
“This child isn’t just you though Craig. He… or she is half me too.”
He moved around slightly so his head was resting gently on my stomach. “I hope you’re just like your mummy little one,” he said rubbing my belly.
I didn’t know how long we were lying there like that, soaking in the comfort of each other, but eventually Craig placed a kiss on my tummy and shifted to lie back down beside me, his eyes searching mine. “I will try to be a good father, Ambs. I just hope I’m worthy and it’s enough.” I couldn’t take any more of his negative self-worth and reached over to pull him in for a kiss. I needed to show him how much I loved him and how worthy he was.
Craig’s lips were cold and he tasted of the orange juice he’d ‘helped’ me drink earlier. The cool touch of his lips and the heat brewing in my body spurred me on. All the pent up emotion and frustrations of the previous twenty-four hours suddenly came bubbling to the surface, looking for the smallest of gaps or cracks to explode from. I wound my fingers into his hair, gripping hard as he sucked my tongue into his mouth and trailed his inquisitive fingers down my body.
“I want you,” I whispered when he momentarily broke the kiss and shifted so he was lying above me. The passion in his eyes fuelled my desire for him as I arched my back and neck to meet his lips once again. “Make love to me, Craig.” I nipped on his bottom lip then licked and kissed my way along his jaw and down to the area on his throat that always drove him crazy.
He was moving too slowly, taking his own sweet time caressing any visible flesh but not taking things any further. I needed him; I needed to feel skin against skin, body heat against body heat. Writhing beneath him I tried to position myself so that I could divest him off the pyjama bottoms he had on but he just shifted out of reach.
“Why in such a hurry?” Craig asked, grinning down at me.
“Stop teasing me, Craig.” I slid my hands along his torso and around to his backside. With a firm tug I tried to pull him onto me but he just tightened his muscles keeping himself locked in position. With a frustrated groan I looked into his eyes, pleading with him to stop his torment.
“You want me Ambs?”
“God yes,” I groaned when he eventually dropped his hips and rocked against me.
“Do you want me to strip off your clothes and kiss every inch of your delectable body?”
“Yes,” I breathed, feeling the heat of anticipation flood my senses.
“Do you want me to lick and suck on you until you’re screaming my name?”
I couldn’t take it anymore. His words, his gentle yet demanding movements and kisses between words were driving me insane with desire. All I wanted was for him to strip us both naked and take me in the primal way of his that stoked every fire within me. To possess me in the way that ended up with me screaming his name and exploding like a meteorite entering earth’s atmosphere.
“Please, Craig,” I whimpered as he rocked against me again. “Please just make love to me. I need you.”
Thankfully he finally understood my urgency and made light work of removing our clothing.
Positioning himself back between my legs, he lifted his head and stared down at me. “My way, my pace, understand?” I nodded. My mouth was suddenly too dry, my throat too constricted and I feared any attempt at speech would just result in a desperate squeak.
He kissed me with such passion, licking into my mouth and lashing his tongue against mine, that I was left breathless and panting beneath him. I ran my fingers through his silky hair and gripped his shoulders when he began pinching one nipple and sucking on the other. My body shuddered as pleasurable endorphins washed through me and my core tightened and throbbed with need.
“Is this what you want?” he whispered, his lips returning to mine. His hand lightly traced along my body, hovering over my breast for a moment before continuing down to my belly. “Can we do this? Is it safe?” he suddenly asked, sounding conflicted.
“It’s fine, Craig. We’re fine.”
“I’d never do anything to hurt you, either of you. You know that right?”
“Yes, but right now you are hurting me by denying me what I need. If you’re not inside me soon I won’t be held responsible for my actions.” I felt Craig’s smile as he began to kiss his way down my body, following the trail that his fingers had made only moments before.
A violent shudder rushed through me when he flicked his tongue over my needy clit repeatedly, unrelenting. Fingers pushed into me, twisting and dragging on my sensitive flesh, sending me closer to the heights of pleasure I had only ever known with Craig.
With a final flick of his tongue an orgasm tore through me. My breath hitched and my body convulsed as wave after wave of pleasure engulfed me leaving me spent and lying limp beneath him.
“Such a beautiful sight,” he murmured making his way back up my body. Stretching out over me once again, he seared me with his heated gaze. “I need you now, baby. My way, my pace, remember?”
I bobbed my head and before I could beg him any further, I found myself flipped onto my front as Craig stretched out over me. He grabbed my knee and nudged it upwards, and then in one swift movement he pushed into me from behind, his heat and satiny soft hardness filling me entirely.
I gasped at the sudden invasion and whimpered when Craig’s hand snaked under me and he started circling his finger over my clit again. I was hypersensitive from my orgasm and cried out. I wanted him to stop… I didn’t want him to stop. The sensation was overwhelming.
Craig was hot and hard and hitting the right spot with each demanding thrust. Suddenly he shifted, rolling onto his back taking me with him. Without losing our connection he continued thrusting his hips upwards while his hands came around to fondle my breasts. My body was on fire and I relished in the pleasure he was giving me. With a moan I lifted my arm and wriggled my fingers under the back of Craig’s head as I moved with him, taking and giving pleasure in return. His body tensed beneath mine as his movements became harder, sharper, and more frenzied. His groans pushed me forward and a second orgasm took root, growing until I couldn’t hold back any
more. My body clenched around him as the first wave of pleasure crested and I cried out his name. Another wave followed that left me breathless and a final one, accompanied by a roar from Craig as he let go and came inside me, left me boneless and rolling off of him and onto my front.
“Holy shit,” I whispered as Craig tugged me up against him.
“That about sums it up,” he muttered dropping his head back onto the pillow, trying to catch his breath. “Is it actually possible to die from an orgasm?”
I giggled, turning in his arms and burying my head into the crook of his neck.
Lifting his head he looked down at me, worry marring his beautiful features. “I didn’t hurt you did I?”
“No, I’m fine. That was… it just was,” I said, unable to express the intense emotions and pleasure he had just bestowed upon me.
Craig moved suddenly, causing me to roll onto my back, and rested his hand over my naked belly. “I meant it, Ambs. I would never do anything to hurt either of you.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Amber
After the initial shock of the pregnancy wore off, Craig, to my surprise and utter delight, truly began to embrace the idea of becoming a father. Every chance he got, he would hold his hand to my tummy and tell me over and over again how much he loved us both. He took care of me with breakfast in bed, making sure I had something beside me as soon as I woke to try and ease the worsening morning sickness. I wasn’t allowed to doing anything around the house, and would often get home from work to find Val in the kitchen cooking dinner for us. I appreciated the gestures but had to admit I was beginning to feel a little smothered.
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