City Of Sin: A Mafia & MC Romance Collection

by K. J. Dahlen

  “Alone,” I huffed out, almost wanting to laugh a hysterical laugh—not out of laughter but craziness, because honestly, I felt like I was losing my mind.

  “I mean, I know you lost John and your mother, but you have me now and our dad.” The way he said all of this made it seem like I should be happy. I should have understood and to be grateful to have lost so much just to gain two people I hadn’t known at all and who I knew nothing about.

  “How? How did this happen? What the fuck took place for this lie to spiral years and years out of control?” I was on the verge of losing it—hell, I already had. I just wasn’t sure I could come back from all of this if I did.

  Smiling, Jared stood. Where the fuck was he going? “Tell me everything,” I cried out as he walked into the open kitchen and grabbed a bottle of something with brown contents. My guess was whiskey, but who was I kidding—I didn’t drink. Until now.

  “I think we need this right now,” he said walking back into the room to hand me the bottle. He had no fucking clue. Unscrewing the bottle cap, I tipped the bottle back and took a huge swig.

  The sweet whiskey hit my senses and instead of a burn, I felt a deep warmth radiate through my insides settling deep into my belly. The drink had calmed me slightly, so I decided to take another swig.

  “Let me start at the beginning…” Jared said watching me as I wiped away any excess whiskey. I sat the bottle on the table as Zerro emerged from the bedroom coming to a stand behind Jared.

  I narrowed my eyes at him for a moment, and then allowed my anger to go as I waited for Jared to start talking.

  “Your mother married John. John was, well, strange. He was a cop, and his job was to protect and serve, obviously. He took his job a little too close to the heart. He ended up in a case involving the King Family.” Jared paused looking between Zerro and me. Had we been connected to one another far before our own births?

  “Many of his own men, people he considered to be his best friends, were dying left and right. Killed mostly in the line of duty, but because there were many problems in the family back then, most died trying to take down The King Empire. John and your mother’s marriage started out great, but then turned dark. As he became more and more consumed with finding out what he could with the King Family, he left your mom alone. Verbal abuse turned into physical abuse, and eventually, your mom was running. Running from a life she felt she had caused.”

  “Wait…? My mom felt she caused all these problems.” I couldn’t even wrap my head around this. My mother couldn’t be to blame. Then again, I thought John was a perfect angel. It was all a lie.

  “Just listen,” Jared continued. “In the summer of 1994, your mom fell pregnant with you. Now, I say fell because it wasn’t a planned pregnancy. Your mother had been seeing James, my father—our father, I mean,” he corrected himself.

  “She was seeing our father behind John’s back. Most of the time, it was just out of comfort and eventually, it morphed into so much more. Anyway, John came home and found out about your mother’s affair. She had to tell him she was pregnant. He would find out anyway. And thus, this started the long war of hate between the two brothers.

  “Now, I’m not sure if the abuse stopped, but your mother was never allowed to tell my father. Never. John simply made her keep it secret. He threatened to take you away if she ever told. John later discovered our father was working for the King family. This only fueled his rage more. He hated Alzerro’s family, so he used you. Your mother died, and he used you. He made an agreement with Alzerro putting you in the line of fire. He knew what he was doing. He just wasn’t seeing it for all it was… His need for vengeance and revenge was more important than his love for a child who was never his,” Jared finished, and I couldn’t help but grab the bottle of whiskey again. This was too much.

  Were there even words to describe how I was feeling? Zerro had killed John—someone I considered to be my father, but had he deserved it all along? Had he truthfully beat my mother, had he hurt the person I loved most and then used me for revenge?

  The whiskey warmed me all over again, as my insides burned like fire. “This is so fucked up,” I whispered into the air. Sitting the whiskey back down on the table, I looked over at both of them.

  “How did you find this all out?” I questioned.

  Jared smirked, and I knew it was going to be an interesting conversation. “Well, asshole over here couldn’t handle losing you. He needed something to hold onto. I went to my father to do a little digging and he told me. Turns out, on your mother’s dead bed, she let our father know. She told him everything.”

  I stared deeply into Zerro’s eyes. In them, I could see the flames of fire flicking back and forth. He had come for me. He had wanted to save me. He may have been a man of death who held pain and heartache, but he knew love. After all, his vengeance was fueled by his love for his mother.

  I took a deep breath trying to digest all of it. It felt like one of those huge pills you had to take when you were sick. The bigger the pill the harder it was to swallow.

  “Let me get this straight, John and James are brothers. My mom married John, cheated on him with James because John was abusive. She then ended up pregnant with me, but only managed to stay with John because he said he would take me away. John’s anger stemmed from his brother working for Zerro’s family who had killed numerous colleagues of his who had tried to bring them down. My mom never told James until she was dying. John took my mom’s death as a perfect chance to get revenge and made a deal with the new King of the family knowing if his life were on the line, I would step in?” My mind was reeling. I was angry, mad, sad, abused, and used. I felt not only my life had been a complete lie, but everyone I had known along the way was a lie, too.

  All of this explained a lot but not soon enough. I should’ve known these things all along. I should’ve been told these things from the start. Times like now made me wish my mother was still here. Tears threatened to escape from my eyes, but I forced them back. I had been strong this far, I could go the extra mile, right?

  “It’s okay to be frustrated and angry about it. I know I was, our father was, Zerro was.” Was he trying to justify the lies?

  “It’s not okay. It’s not okay I was fed lies from the start and it’s not okay I missed out on nearly twenty years of my life.” My words twisted the knife that had been put in my chest. Saying the words made it true.

  “Stop, Bree,” Zerro commanded. He knew I was right there, right on the edge of a cliff ready to jump. I was feral with rage.

  “No. You know nothing. You don’t know what it’s like. You don’t know how much it hurts,” I cried out as my hands gripped my hair. It was all a lie. A big huge fucking lie. It felt like everyone I had known was laughing in my face.

  “Shhh,” Zerro whispered in my ear as I lifted my head taking notice he had crossed the room to sit next to me. I had no words. Nothing could fix this mess, a mess that had been started far before my time.

  “I can’t believe….” I said in disbelief repeating the same sentence over and over again in my mind.

  “You can believe it. You will believe it. You will acknowledge it and move on because you’re stronger than this. You have lost so much, but you have gained so much, too.” My tears secretly escaped my eyes as they slid down my cheeks like the truths that slipped from Jared’s mouth.

  “I’m not strong enough to do this, Zerro,” I cried into his chest, allowing him to cradle me. I didn’t care I was breaking down in front of Jared. I couldn’t cope with this anymore. I couldn’t handle the pain that shook my body.

  “You’re strong enough, Piccolo… You’re stronger than anyone I know…” His voice was so gentle and made me want to beg him for forgiveness even though I knew I didn’t have to. He had killed John because he deserved it.

  “I hurt you… The things I said…” I cried harder and tears saturated his shirt. I couldn’t handle the betrayal I was feeling. John may have planned to sell me out, but Zerro had been there. I
may never have been a part of his plan, but I was now… He had saved me.

  “Shhhhh…. We all say things out of rage and anger. When I told you I was indebted to you, I meant it. Our fates were sealed before we were even thought of…”

  “But….” I tried to say…

  “No, but, Bree. Neither of us knew what was happening. I hurt you after you saved my life, and even if John wasn’t your father, I know there is a part of you who loves him regardless, and I ripped that part of you to shreds. I let my anger and my need for blood to get in the way of it all. Even if he deserved to die, I shouldn’t have done it that way.” Regret was rooted deeply in his voice. He was never sorry. He was never caring if he ripped people from their loved ones.

  “How can we move on…? So much chaos, lies, and betrayal have taken place.” I was mumbling my words as I spoke into his chest. His body was warm encasing me in a protective shell. In his arms, I felt right at home as if this is where I had always belonged.

  “I’m going to go call my dad,” Jared said dismissing himself. I didn’t look up to say anything, not even a thank you. I wasn’t sure if I could ever thank him for freeing the secrets that would tear me apart only to build me back up.

  “None of this is your fault, Bree. No one blames you. We had no choice in any of this. Life has a way of making choices for us.” His words were making my heart pound. I gripped his shirt tighter, wondering what to do next. I had no home, nowhere to go and no family—none that I knew at least. I was supposed to be hiding, and I knew Zerro killing John put the FBI on our backs, and with Mack still looming out there somewhere, I knew our deaths would be inevitable.

  “What do we do? This clusterfuck we call life is falling to pieces before our eyes. You have lost your whole family to death, as have I. Are we next? Is this all we live for? Revenge? Hate? Anger?” I was on the verge of a panic attack. Zerro adjusted his hold on me, pushing me at arm’s length so one of his hands could cup the side of my face.

  “If anyone has taught me life is more than just death—it’s you. Life is so much more than what I thought it was. I was simply going through the motions, breathing the air, and waiting until the last moment when my heart would stop beating. We can overcome all of this.” He was convincing. He was more than convincing, but I had just been ripped apart.

  “I need time. I need sleep. I need to be alone.” I could barely believe myself as I said the words. I had never wanted to be alone in my life, but now more than ever I needed to be. I wanted Zerro, but I needed to piece this puzzle together. I needed to know where he and I fit in it—if we fit in it together at all.

  “Okay, that’s fine. Just tell me you’re okay. Tell me no one hurt you while you were being hidden. Tell me everything inside of here is okay,” he said pointing to my heart. Was everything okay in it? Placing his lips against my forehead, he whispered, “I know I’ve hurt you. I put your life in danger. I could’ve had us both killed numerous times. I threatened your life back at your childhood home, and I want you to know it killed me to hurt you. It ripped me apart inside. Your heartbeat is my own. Your voice my own. Your fears my own. You’re mine, and I will never do anything to jeopardize that again.”

  His words were beautiful and heartfelt, and the tears burned down my cheeks as I pulled from his touch. I needed to get my bearings on everything, and no matter how much I wanted to believe his words right this second, I couldn’t. Getting up, I turned around and walked down the hall to the room I was brought to when I first arrived. The moment I closed the door, the tears, the pain, and the earth shattering realization’s hit me. This was my life now.

  7

  Zerro

  “Fuck,” I said harshly, my fist hitting the table hard. I didn’t want to start breaking shit. I didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore, but I couldn’t handle the emotions running through me.

  “Is everything okay?” Jared asked concerned as ever. He was always fucking concerned. However, now his concerns were real. I was dating his half-sister, or was I? From her words mere moments ago, I was beginning to think we had nothing. Then again, if I were just thrown the shit storm she was, I would be doing a whole lot more than just needing time.

  “Everything is just fan-fucking-tastic,” I scoffed, slamming back a gulp of the whiskey sitting in front of me. I needed a drink about as badly as I needed Bree’s sweet lips against mine.

  “I take that as she didn’t take it nearly as well as I thought she would.” He was joking... or trying to. It was a shame Bree had been caught up in all of this. I had taken the sweet, shy, and innocent woman I loved and morphed her into a broken killer. She was broken and it was my fault—no, it was John’s fault.

  “You mean you actually expected her to accept what you said right off the bat? We have bloodthirsty criminals breathing down our backs left and right, and then we have to throw shit on her. I can’t even imagine what she is thinking right now,” I growled out in frustration. I didn’t want to be too loud, but I needed to let some of the aggression out. Killing John did nothing for me. I thought it would make me feel fuller, happier. Instead, it made me feel worse… even if he did deserve to die.

  Shrugging his shoulders, he took the empty seat on the leather couch across from me. “No. I just got off the phone with my dad and he wants to meet her. I told him we found her… More like she found us, but that’s beside the point. I think my dad can point us in the direction of where to find Mack.”

  Stretching my legs out, I settled further into the couch. Another slam back of Whiskey, another feeling escaping.

  “I just feel…” I wasn’t even sure where to start and why the fuck was I pouring my soul out to Jared. He didn’t care.

  A smirk pulled at his lips. “We both know what you feel. There isn’t anything you can do to change it. I know your emotions are conflicted, but you need to give her some time. We need to let her go through everything so she’s strong enough to carry on when the time comes.” Was he already sticking up for her in a brotherly way? I wanted to laugh.

  “Already pulling out the brother card, huh?” I said laughing.

  Grinning, he shook his head. “Nah. But if you break her heart, I will probably break your face. How’s that for the brotherly card?” His comment sent a spiral of happiness to form within. Bree may have lost so much, but she had gained so much, as well. Jared, a person who would be a better brother to her than anyone I knew. James, a father who would claim her as his own. And me—a man, who against all odds, had opened his heart to love.

  “I would love to see you try and break my face,” I taunted knowing very well even Jared wouldn’t be able to take me down. He could say he would all he wanted, but I knew better.

  Rolling his eyes like a girl, he laughed. “Whatever. That’s not the point, asshole. The point is you know we lost my mom. It has only ever been my dad and me, and I don’t want to go into pussy foot country and spill my guts to you, but to have someone else is just... exhilarating. For the first time in years, my dad is moving around again. He’s coming here to see her, and though the truth was a damn—nation to her, it was a joy to us.”

  The faraway look in his eyes told me he was going back there. I knew the look. I had endured it many times. He had lost his mother, too. Not to the same fate I had, but far worse. There was nothing to stop what had happened to his mother.

  “It’s okay, Jared.” I tried to sound convincing, but he knew when to call my bluff, and there would be no better time to do so than now. I was a hypocrite. I knew it. I told people to move on from their own problems while I still boiled in my own.

  “Just make sure she’s okay enough to talk later,” he said blinking slowly as if he were trying to bring himself back to the present. He couldn’t still blame himself for her death. It wasn’t his fault. He was just a kid.

  “It wasn’t your fault, Jared,” I said surprising even myself. I never stepped into the arena with him. I never tried to be the friend he needed. Turning on his heels, I saw a deep anger rooted in his eyes.<
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  Clenching his teeth, he spoke forcefully. “Take your own advice, Zerro. Don’t try to tell me how to handle my shit when you’re barely getting by with your own struggle.”

  What was I supposed to say to that? Nothing, that’s what, so I did just that. I let him walk away, down the hall to his room, leaving me to sit in the emptiness to think about all the fucked up choices I had made. Funny, when you’re alone, your mind tends to wander. I started to wonder if everything would come out okay, if we all would get our happily ever after, or if we all were headed down the road to war. Only time would tell.

  Hours had passed as I continued to sit in the chair across from her watching her sleep. Her body was worn and tired, her breaths were deep, and her chest rose and fell in rhythm with my own beating heart. This moment took me back to the very last time we had sex—when we were on good terms. How I had awoken her from a very similar position.

  “Ride my hand, baby…” My own words echoed through my mind as I remembered every push and pull of our bodies. The way we became one, how I would’ve loved to do nothing but stay wrapped up in who she was for hours. Then I think I would’ve given everything up for her. Hell, I still would, but things were different now. Death changed people. It changed things. Technically, we’re still enemies, but for her to be one, Jared would have to be one, too. I could never turn my back on them.

  A deep moan pulled me from my thoughts as I watched Bree roll over in bed. She was wearing one of my shirts and a pair of my boxers. Her shirt was riding up on her back, and her lower back and ass were showing.

  My cock was stiff and ready to take her. Of course, it was always hard with her around, but there was something so much more important that needed to be handled. I needed to know what had happened to her while she was gone. Where she had been taken, all she had endured. God, I was a fucking douche bag for not asking these questions before doing anything with her.