by Lucia Franco
“Don’t be a little bitch.”
I laughed again, shaking my head. “Fine! Johnny fucked me pretty hard today...I’m all red and sore. It even hurts to walk.” I bit my lip, waiting for her response.
“OH MY GOD!” Avery shouted, laughing again. “Look at you! I wasn’t thinking of adding to it!”
“Well, it’s what happens when you straddle it.” Looking between my thighs, I thought about the day I straddled the beam and what transpired after. I told Avery everything, minus the Kova touching me part.
“My thighs were all roughed up, too. God, Avery. I even bled from it.”
“That bad?”
“Yeah. And it looked like a contusion was forming. I had to ice myself three times a day.”
“A contusion? You mean a black and blue? Can’t you just say bruise?”
I laughed and she heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Just think, by the time you’re actually ready to have sex, the impact won’t be as bad.”
I paused. “Where do you come up with this stuff?” Shaking my head, I stifled another laugh. “There’s no filter with you.”
“Nope,” she said proudly.
“Can I break a bone in there? Because that’s what it felt like when I fell. I swear something shifted.”
“Well, I’m no doctor, but I don’t think there’s a bone in your vagina.”
I grinned. “You had a bone-r in yours tonight.”
“Oh! She’s got comebacks,” Avery yelled sarcastically. “I sure did. But seriously, why don’t you see an OB and find out. Or maybe head over to Planned Parenthood so you can get birth control while you’re at it. Rather be safe than sorry.”
“What do I need birth control for?”
“Do you plan to stay a virgin forever?”
“Well, no, but I only have time for one piece of wood in my life right now, and his name is Johnny.”
Avery burst out laughing. I was pretty proud of myself for that one.
“That being said, it wouldn’t be such a bad idea if I planned on having sex soon, not that I am. I’d have to withdraw money before I went. I can’t imagine my dad would be happy seeing a visit to Planned Parenthood on his credit card statement.”
“I doubt he even looks.”
Avery had a point. “Still, I can’t take the chance.”
“How’s practice going anyway?”
I huffed into the phone.
“That bad?” she responded to my sulk.
“Some days are harder than others, but I refuse to give up. I’m not where I should be so I took on extra training, but I feel like I’m progressing. I’m pushing my body to the brink of exhaustion. The team girls have like a Mean Girls type club, so the only friends I really have are Hayden and Holly. Some days I wonder if I would be here if it wasn’t for my dad’s money. And to top it off, my mom wants me to send her pictures of the scale while I’m on it.”
“I really hate your mom.”
I puckered my lips together. Some days I hated her too.
“Still, I won’t quit. I love gymnastics too much to do that. It’s my life, and with this sport, I only have so much time left. I really have to get my ass in gear. Meet season is coming up and I need to be in top shape.”
“You know what else is coming up?”
I paused, scrunching my brows together. “What?”
“Your birthday!”
“Ave. It’s not like I can plan anything, I have to train.”
Her excitement vanished. “Can’t you take one night off?”
“To do what? Sit by myself?” I laughed bitterly, thinking about how my mom forgot my birthday a few times in the past. What a joke. “Unless I’m on my death bed, there’s no taking an extra day off. It’s really not a big deal to skip my birthday, I’ll have more.”
“God. You’re such a bore. I can always come up for your birthday, so you’re not alone,” Avery said, taking me away from my thoughts. “And if my parents don’t want me to drive for some reason, maybe I can convince our brothers to ride with me.” I paused, at a loss for words, as she continued. “You know, they’re older, and our parents would trust them for some bizarre reason. Plus, if they know there’s hot girls, I’m sure they’d be quick to come.”
She had a point, however, her parents were pretty lenient, I couldn’t imagine them saying no to her driving to the west coast.
“I guess. While we hang out, they can go off, but you’ll be bored during the day since I can’t take off from practice.”
“That’s no biggie. I’ll come for a weekend and watch.”
That could be worked out.
I yawned and looked at the clock. “I’m gonna go. I’m so tired and luckily I don’t have gym tomorrow. I plan to sleep in and catch up on my homework.”
“Let me know if you need me to do any more research for you. If you need to talk about it, I’m here for you, Ria.”
I smiled into the phone. “Thanks, girl. You’re the best. Are you going to call me Ria from now on?”
“Every minute I can,” she retorted. “And remember, no penetration, Ria.” Then she hung up.
After grabbing a bottle of water, I jumped into bed, thanking my lucky stars I didn’t have to face Kova tomorrow. I had the following day off to panic about what had happened. It was going to be awkward once I went back to practice, but I knew how to train my emotions and conceal my thoughts. Only thing I needed to do was not make it obvious and ignore Coach as much as possible. That wouldn’t be a hard feat. He tended to be an asshole at the gym anyway. An angry Russian dick.
Just before I was about to doze off, my phone beeped.
Coach: Did you make it home okay?
My heart dropped. I responded with a quick yes, clutching my phone to see if he would say anything else. But after ten minutes of silence, I ended up passing out.
Ignoring Coach was an issue I expected to hurdle after what had happened between us, but fortunately I didn’t have to work through it the next day. Or the next.
He’d been absent from the gym for three days now and I wasn’t sure whether I was happy about it or not. Madeline took over and I worked closely with her. While she was my vault coach, Kova was my main coach and he oversaw my schedule—which skills I’d learn and when. It was a completely different type of training with her. I wasn’t stressed to the max, I didn’t make mistakes, and I felt a bit more confident. I was actually able to eat something, too. I didn’t feel the need to impress her the way I did with Kova. She didn’t ridicule every little breath I took, she encouraged me and gave me hope. Hope was what gymnasts thrived on, and mine had gone down the drain. There were moments of the day when I wished she was my coach. She was a great instructor, but Kova’s attention to detail was exceptional, and that mattered in the world of gymnastics.
Kova’s absence only built the impending awkwardness of having to see him when he did return, which was apparently today. No coach or gymnast ever missed gym time unless it was absolutely life altering. No one knew why he was out, only that he had business he needed to attend to.
But I had a feeling I knew what it was.
Alfred dropped me off early to practice. None of my teammates had shown up yet, so I shoved my stuff into my locker and did my usual morning run. My calf started acting up again, a twinge of heat encompassed it, but I shook it off and finished. I noticed it flaring up a little more lately. Nothing a little Motrin couldn’t fix.
After I came inside and wiped myself down, I got ready to head inside the gym to start stretching. I loved being the only one here, breathing in the air and mentally preparing myself for training. I smiled. A new day, a new goal, a new ambition. My love for the sport was embedded deep in my bones and something I couldn’t quite explain.
Rounding the corner and walking down the quiet hallway, I wasn’t paying attention as I separated the wristbands that had gotten stuck together by the Velcro, and I walked straight into someone.
A whoosh escaped my throat. “Oh, I’m so—” I froze.
&n
bsp; Kova.
My jaw dropped, all logical thoughts escaped me. “Hey,” I said delicately.
Kova stood tall in front of me, his broad shoulders back, and his face unreadable. I wasn’t terribly short, but he was six feet, so he towered over me.
“You were gone.”
He said nothing.
“Are you okay?”
Again, nothing.
“We should probably talk?”
He just stared right through me.
“Ummm...” I proceeded but stopped when his hands locked on my upper arms. He shuffled me to the side, walked past me and ignored all questions.
Oh, good. So we skipped dick and went straight into asshole mode—awesome!
Anger bubbled in my veins. Arrogance was written all over his saunter as he made his way back to his office. I had to grind my jaw to keep from lashing out.
“So you’re just going to overlook...everything?”
He said nothing, so I took a risk.
“What does Katja mean to you?”
Kova paused, his stance rigid. Interestingly, that must have struck a nerve. After witnessing two arguments between them, one he didn’t even know I knew about, I wanted to know if she was more than just a girlfriend to him, if he saw a future with her. I rested my hand on my hip, waiting for him to turn around. I was so positive he would respond that a smirk crept along my face.
I was shocked when his head twitched to the side, and he continued walking away from me, slamming the door shut to his office.
A GOOD PART of my morning workout had been fairly demanding. I had my ballet classes, which kept me busy for nearly two hours, then I moved on to conditioning. The two things I despised doing were the most strenuous and challenging. Challenging in the sense that it was easy to cut corners and do it half-assed and not get caught. Which I didn’t. I’d only hurt myself in the long run.
When I moved on to vault with Madeline, I made a conscious effort to avoid Kova. I purposely didn’t look in his direction and I acted like he didn’t exist, but it was a difficult feat. He was on my mind every few seconds and the fight to not look for him was a struggle. I got the feeling I was being watched, but didn’t want to make it obvious I was aware of his gaze. I could feel his eyes on me, crawling over my body. But I didn’t acknowledge it. The fear of seeing disgust sat heavy in my gut, and not something I wanted to face.
This morning I’d been working on my vault. I was trying to perfect the Amanar, a two and a half twisting Yurchenko. It was the hardest vault for women to master because of its level of difficulty, but also gave the most scoring points in difficulty too. If I didn’t pull through and only completed two twists instead of two and a half, I’d be downgraded for difficulty and not execution, surprisingly. The key to execution was a huge block. I had to push with all my might off the vault table using my shoulders and keeping my arms straight. If I bent my arms, it absorbed my power and I’d really mess up. But no matter what I did, I just couldn’t stick it. I’d step forward, land on my butt, land off to the side, bend my legs. I either under rotated or over rotated. I was an utter disaster. All of those landings would earn me deductions I couldn’t afford. The last thing I wanted was to lower my vault to two twists, but I knew if I didn’t start making progress soon, I would be forced to scale it back. I wanted the Amanar so bad I could taste it.
Vault was mine. I normally excelled at it, I just needed to stick my landing. But since I had come to World Cup, I’d been doing terribly. At least, it felt that way. I needed to be a little tighter, a little faster, a little higher, and I’d have it.
Easier said than done. Nerves and self-doubt got to me, I knew that was playing into my overall performance.
Madeline had mentioned we needed to start working on my alternate vault soon. Gymnasts always had two vaults, usually one that brought more points to the table. The new vault would be front flipping, I just wasn’t sure which one yet. Doing a front vault showed diversity.
“Adrianna. Instead of starting at seventy-three feet, try seventy-five. Do a double and land it. You’re getting there, but you may need more momentum.”
I nodded.
Madeline pulled her arms up to her chest, her hands in fists, and jerked to the left—giving me an example of what she meant. “Pop off the table and pull up high, squaring your shoulders and then twist hard. Got it? You really need to block.”
“Yes.”
“Good. Go for it.”
I walked back to the end of the runway, looking for seventy-five feet. Grabbing a piece of chalk, I drew a line where my toes needed to start and then chalked my hands up good. I raised an arm and then took off running. My arms stayed like sticks by my side until I gained speed, and they bent. I pumped my legs harder than ever about twelve feet away and did a round-off onto the spring board, then a back handspring onto the vault table to complete the Yurchenko, popping off with my shoulders with a loud huff and pulled my twist up and into a double. I had height, a tad more than usual, but ended up taking a huge step forward on the soft practice mat.
Looking over my shoulder with my arms still in the air, I raised a brow at Madeline. She chewed her lips, staring at me curiously.
“Try starting off a bit slower.” I looked at her with a question in my eyes. I needed speed if anything. “Meaning, take a few larger, but slower steps at first, and then gun it around twenty-five feet away. And throw the Amanar instead. The double isn’t helping.”
I got to the end of the runway and chalked up again when Madeline yelled. “Practice a few slow starts first.”
The slow starts had a funny look to them. The knees came up higher, slower, and the step was much wider. It looked like giant skips at first. I knew what she wanted me to do, I just had never done it, and honestly, I didn’t think this was what I needed. But she was my coach so I listened.
I quickly practiced a few off to the side while Holly vaulted twice.
I took a handful of slower, wider steps and performed my vault, but I didn’t stick my landing. When I stood straight, the back of my calf started to glow with heat again, but this time it traveled down to my ankle. Bending down, I rotated my ankle around and massaged the muscle to relieve the warmth.
Her brows angled toward each other. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
I nodded. “It’s nothing, I’m fine.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Are you sure?” I nodded and she asked, “Okay, so how did that feel?”
“It makes sense to start off slower, I think, and I can feel the change in momentum. I have more power. Can I try it again?”
“Of course.”
I got in line and waited for Holly to go. Once she finished a couple sets of vaults, it was my turn. I took off even slower by pulling my legs higher to the ceiling, but it wasn’t easy. I could feel my stomach clench and the muscles I needed to build in order to run like this. My vault was better, and my height too, but it didn’t feel perfect and I knew it.
“Okay—I know I’m throwing a lot at you right now, but what if we try to get your round-off closer to the ground, too.”
“What do you mean?”
Madeline stood in front of the springboard. She raised her arms and demonstrated what she meant. “You see how my shoulders are up with my chest, but back? You’re too open up here, there’s too much space between you and the board. But if you lean toward the springboard, when you rebound out of your round-off, you’ll get the power you need to get the perfect flight. Let’s try it into the foam pit so you can see.”
Madeline looked over at Holly. “Can you practice on your own for a bit? We’ll be right back.”
An innocent smiled splayed her lips. It amazed me she was friends with a bitch like Reagan. “No problem.”
“Use a cushioned mat, okay? I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“Okay.”
We walked over to the runway with the foam pit where Kova was with Reagan. It was the same foam pit I hid in days earlier. Our eyes locked for a split second and his jaw
set tight before he looked the other way. My nerves climbed with each step that brought me closer to him. When he looked at me again, he visibly tensed. Reagan looked like she wanted to vomit at the sight of me.
“Mind if we share with you? I want Adrianna to try something new.” Madeline asked.
Kova stepped aside and waved his hand in front of us. “By all means.”
Madeline turned to me and went over what she wanted me to try while Kova watched intently. His presence was powerful, and standing this close, it was hard to ignore him like I had tried pitifully to do this morning. He made me extremely nervous and I started chewing on my bottom lip, a habit I needed to break.
“Remember, slow at first, and stay low near the end. Got it?”
I swallowed, my eyes sneaking a glance at Kova before I nodded at Madeline.
Standing at the end of the runway, I took a deep breath and exhaled. I focused solely on the vault and what she told me to try. One last breath and then I took off running. My heart raced, not from the coaches, but of my love for vault. Adrenaline pumped through me and my feet pounded into the floor as I neared the springboard. The pain in my calf was back and stronger than ever, but I pushed through it. My nerves were on edge, but with Kova and Reagan standing there, I knew my legs ended up looking sloppy in flight, and if it hadn’t been for this pit, I would’ve eaten shit when I came down.
“What the hell was that?” Madeline asked with shock in her eyes. “Thank God you landed in that pit.”
“Let me try again.”
Kova reached down with an opened palm and without thinking twice, my hand slid into his strong, calloused one. Heat shot up my arm and through my spine. Shit. This wasn’t good. He gripped my palm and yanked me out. Before Madeline could say anything, Kova spoke up.
“May I?” he asked quietly, and she nodded.
“I see what Madeline is going for. Slower start and a deeper angle near the board, yeah?” he asked her but was staring directly at me.
I groaned inwardly. He should never use the word deeper in my presence. My mind traveled back to the night in the gym, and the things he said and did.