by Lucia Franco
Avery nodded slowly with an intent stare. She paused and said, “You’re lying. I know you’re lying.”
I closed my eyes. “Not here, Ave. Wait until we get into the car. Okay?”
She agreed and backed off.
I thought about Kova’s words and what they could mean as I put on my zip up jacket. “Excellent job today, Ria. I am very pleased with you.” He never complimented me to that degree.
We weren’t in my SUV for more than ten seconds when Avery said, “Okay. You better start spilling now. I want to know every little thing that’s happened and do not leave out any detail. If I find out you do,” she paused and looked ahead, thinking about her next words. “Well, I don’t know what I’ll do, but I’ll do something to you.”
Stifling a laugh, I rolled my eyes. She tried to sound so intimidating and she wasn’t in the least.
“You want all the juicy details?”
“Fill my cup right up!” she exclaimed, holding out her hand as if she was holding a cup. I shook my head with a faint grin. She pulled her knee up and turned to look at me.
“I don’t know where to start,” I said, pulling out of World Cup and driving onto the main road.
“How about at the beginning?”
Taking a deep breath, I exhaled. “Nothing really happened…We kissed. Big deal.”
“Umm, that’s a huge deal. Massive. So anytime you mentioned your library boy, it was really Kova. And considering the fact you withheld library boy for a few months until you caved, this has been going on a lot longer than I know.”
I bit the inside of my lip. “Yeah.”
“Okay, another lie. More than a kiss happened, then. The orgasms were from him?” I groaned and she smacked my arm. “Stop making me piece it together and do it for me. Did you guys have sex?”
I looked over at her. “No, we did not have sex. Honestly, Ave, I don’t even know how it happened. Look how closely we work together, how many hours we spend one-on-one, six days a week. We just started talking one day during a private session and it carried on from there. He’s actually a really decent guy when he’s not in coach mode. Talking to him feels natural…I like it.”
I told her everything that happened while I drove to our destination, not leaving out one detail or word, including the note I just found hours earlier. Deep down, Avery was trustworthy, but telling her was terrifying due to the nature of the situation, another reason why I kept it to myself. I couldn’t skate over this slip though. And surprisingly it lifted a weight from my chest.
Pulling into a shopping center, I parked my truck and looked over. Avery sat stone-faced. She didn’t move a muscle as she stared through the front windshield.
“Avery? Are you okay?”
She slowly turned my way, exorcist style, and said in a low voice, “You’re going to hell for this.”
My face dropped and I punched her arm. “No, I’m not. Stop acting like a fool. Let’s go eat. I only have so much time.”
We both hopped out and walked side by side toward a small outdoor restaurant. After such a grueling workout, I was famished, but my stomach was in knots so a salad was probably best.
“My cup is brimming, Ria, about to spill over. I didn’t grab a tall enough glass. Then again, I don’t think there’s one tall enough for the juice you just poured me. I wasn’t prepared for this onslaught of thoughts running a marathon in my head!” she exaggeratedly exclaimed.
“Don’t be so dramatic.”
“Please tell me you don’t have serious feelings for him,” she pleaded once we were seated. I looked around for listening ears and was thankful the outdoor tables were somewhat empty.
“Truthfully, I don’t know. Do I like him? Yes, more so than I probably should. And before you say another word, believe me, I know how morally wrong it is. But I can’t help it.”
“You know it could never go anywhere, right? It just isn’t possible.”
I shrugged.
“You’re smart, think about it.” Distress etched her face. Avery took a sip of water. “Do you plan on having sex with him?”
I told her the truth. “I don’t plan on it, but if it just happens, then I guess I will. Yes.”
She gave me a comical stare. “It doesn’t just happen, Adrianna. You can’t just accidently fall and a dick slips into you. It doesn’t work like that.”
“Shh…” I said with a finger pressed to my smiling lips.
“Well, it doesn’t!”
Before Avery could continue, a waitress appeared at our table. She took our lunch orders and then turned toward me.
“What kind of dressing would you like with your salad?” She rattled off a list of them when Avery spoke up for me.
“She’ll have the Russian! She loves that slightly spicy, thick, creamy consistency in her mouth.”
My jaw dropped and my cheeks were hotter than ever. I gave my best friend a murderous glare and wondered where the hell she came from. The waitress gave me a bewildered look and I confirmed it with a tight lipped smile. I asked for the dressing on the side and grilled chicken to be added.
“You’re an asshole, you know that,” I said when the waitress walked away.
Avery laughed loudly. “I had to! Okay, listen, I’m going to play Devil’s Advocate for a minute.”
“Oh God.”
“Even though I’m pretty pissed you didn’t tell me, I completely understand why you didn’t. I probably would’ve done the same. Thing is, whatever is going on between the both of you, I’d really consider stopping it now. This isn’t just some older guy you randomly met in a giant skyscraper building you both work in. This is a coach who owns a reputable business and has a steady girlfriend. Not to mention, that pesky little age difference. Maybe if you were older, then I wouldn’t say anything. But you’re not. You need to really think about your actions and the ramifications you both will be faced with if you guys get caught. It could get ugly. It would be wise to stop while you’re ahead instead of throwing it all away on some flavor of the month.”
“Flavor of the month? Avery, where do you come up with these lines?”
She grinned, shrugging her shoulders. “My mom.”
“I know, I know…I just don’t know, though. I mean,” taking a deep breath, I exhaled and looked at the parking lot. I had so much weighing on my shoulders and despite telling Avery, it was all coming back.
“I don’t want to have these feelings for him, and call me crazy, but I don’t think he wants them for me either. But after reading that letter, it’s clear as day how he feels. It’s like we’re so aware of each other when we’re in the same room, it’s hard to ignore. He’s my damn coach. A lot of people would be hurt, and regardless of right and wrong, these aren’t flavor of the month feelings.”
“Aid, you’re only a teenager. Nothing serious would happen to you. He’s risking his life doing this.”
“I know, and I would lose gymnastics, he stands to lose much more.” I paused. “Do you think it’s all in my head?”
“No, but maybe there’s a bit of infatuation that’s driving it. Good looks, rocking body, Olympic gymnast…” she trailed off with a raised brow. “What’s not to like about that? You’d have to be blind not to be drawn to him. Even in the pictures I looked up when you first met him, I was blown away. In person? There are no words. He’s gorgeous.”
“He has to know what he’s doing and the chance he’s taking, right?” I asked.
“That’s the thing. You would think he knows…and maybe he does and maybe he just doesn’t care. Men don’t think with the right head. He knows how old you are, that’s for sure. Common sense says red flag stay away, but his dick is like, young, hot girl, right ahead!” Her back straightened and she pointed over my shoulder.
I looked around to see if anyone heard Avery’s fake British accent. “You should be a comedian with all the voices and reenactments you do. Was that from the Titanic movie?”
“Sure was,” she said proudly.
The waitress
brought out our lunches. I picked off the croutons and drizzled very little dressing on the salad. There was a lot of fat and shit in this dressing, something my thighs did not need.
Taking a bite, I chewed slowly as I thought about our conversation and my feelings toward Kova. “I’m just going to roll with the tide and see where it takes us. As long as we’re discreet, we should be okay.”
“Should, being the key word. Just be careful,” she said and I nodded. “I don’t want to see you get hurt…or him be taken away in handcuffs.”
Knock, knock, knock.
Confusion etched my tired face as I tried to figure out who would be knocking on my door at nine at night. Throwing the duvet off me, I looked down at my outfit as my feet padded across the plush carpet. Black bikini panties and a cropped, pale pink, tank top wasn’t proper attire to welcome visitors, it was rather thin and if I looked closely, I could see the outline of my breasts.
However, I wasn’t planning on answering the door. That was, until I looked through the peephole and spotted Kova.
Dear God. What the hell was he doing here? My heart pounded fiercely against my ribs before it dropped into my gut. Taking a deep breath, I exhaled and unlocked both dead bolts and pulled the door open. The cool air caressed my skin.
Kova stood with one arm propped on the ledge of the door. His face was tilted down, despair written all over him and it hit me like a ton of bricks. My heart hurt for him. He dressed in dark distressed jeans and a jet black shirt. A firm body filled his outfit out and when he picked up his head, my lips parted.
“Kova,” I whispered, staring into eyes as dark as the rainforest. “What are you doing here?”
A snarl erupted from his throat, the top of his lip lifting. He peered through his black lashes. “Is that how you always answer the door?” he asked before pushing inside.
“Yes, please do come in.” Sarcasm dripped all over my words. “For your information, this is what I wear to bed. I wasn’t expecting you, or anyone else.” I paused, and gave him a droll stare. “And this really isn’t much different than what I wear at the gym,” I responded, shutting the door and locking it.
Turning around, Kova raked a heated glance down my body, his eyes landing on my chest. I followed his gaze and noticed my nipples were hard little pebbles from the cool air. I sighed inwardly. I hated when that happened.
Clearing my throat, I crossed my arms over my chest and stood confidently. “Is there a reason you’re here?”
“We need to talk and I did not want to do it at the gym. I think you know about what.”
I nodded and walked past him to the kitchen. Kova followed closely behind. Pulling open my stainless steel refrigerator, I grabbed a bottle of Aloe water.
“Would you like one?” I asked over my shoulder, but his eyes were on my ass. Seeing that I wielded a little power over him felt good, and I smiled. I knew I shouldn’t like his eyes on me, but I secretly loved that they were, so I arched my back and naturally pushed my butt out to give him more of a view while I reached for a drink.
“No.”
Turning around, I leaned against the fridge, my knee bending for my foot to rest flat on it. I stayed quiet and waited for him to explain his presence.
“Can you put some clothes on first?”
I sputtered on the water I was drinking, the back of my hand coming up to wipe my chin. “Are you serious?” I barked out a laugh. “Again, this really is no different than what I wear at the gym every day. Not to mention, you’ve seen other parts of my body no one else does.”
He glared at me. “No, it’s not. Not even close.”
“Yes, it is. I’m not changing. I’m tired, and once you leave I’m going straight to bed. After wearing a suffocating leotard all day in the gym, this is much more comfortable, lightweight and feels like I have nothing on. My body needs to breathe.”
Kova appeared to be struggling to breathe himself. “I’m asking you to please put something on.”
Taking a deep breath, I rolled my eyes and walked to my bedroom and grabbed an oversized off the shoulder shirt I loved. I slipped it over my head, not bothering to remove the tank top first. When I walked back into the living room, Kova was seated in the middle of my couch. He was leaning back, his eyes clenched shut with his hands propped behind his head and his legs spread wide. He was tense, stressed to the max, and the air was thick with anxiety.
I made my way over to the couch and sat against the arm rest with my knee propped up. Kova glanced over with heavy eyes and sighed loudly, brushing a hand down his face. He reached for his back pocket, pulling out a plastic bag and handed it to me. The wristbands.
A gentle smile eased my face and my heart softened. “Thank you for these.”
He nodded. “These should help your wrists much better than all that tape you wear. In fact, you should not need tape with these. They are bigger and longer, more durable with extra padding. Give them a try. If you like how they fit, I will order more for you.”
“That was really sweet of you. Thank you…” I paused, swallowing. “Kova?” His eyes, goodness, they hit me hard when he looked at me. Anguish filled them. “Did you bring the letter?”
He shook his head, and for some reason, my heart ached for him. “I took care of it so you will not have to worry anymore. It is gone forever.”
Quietly I asked what had been on my mind all afternoon. “Why’d you write it?”
He shrugged, looking at the ceiling.
“Why?” I pressed.
“Moment of weakness? I had been drinking…It was careless of me.” Clearing his throat, he said, “After my mother passed away, I saw a therapist for a while. She suggested it may be therapeutic if I wrote my feelings out on paper. At first I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard, until one day I gave it a shot and I felt a million times better. I have done it ever since. Habit, I guess.”
I became even more conscious of his presence in my condo. I shifted to my knees and sat back, trying to ease the sudden throb between my legs. “Kova, your note could’ve gotten us caught.”
“Believe me, Adrianna, I am well aware of that.”
“You don’t have any more copies, do you? Like maybe you rewrote it a few times and threw it in the trash can that’s still sitting in your office?”
He gave me an amusing grin. I put up my hands. “Hey, I’m just trying to cover all my bases.”
“No, that was the only one. Usually all I need to do is one and it helps.”
“Did…did it help you to write about me?”
Looking directly in my eyes, he didn’t hesitate. “No.”
“Not even a little bit?”
“It just made it worse.” He shook his head, baffled. His hands were fisted above his knees. “I see your drive day after day and it fuels me.”
“But all the girls have the same drive.”
“No, they have a love of the sport and that is what propels them. Not every gymnast wants to go professional, some are content retiring after high school and not even continuing to compete in college. None of them want the Olympics like you do because they know how small the window of opportunity is. That is where we share the same goals, the same spirit. You remind me of myself. I see the determination in your eyes to keep moving despite the obstacles you are up against.”
My stomach churned over his admission. Mainly for the fact that this whole time he’s seen me in an entirely different light than I thought he did. I had assumed he looked down on me, detested the ground I walked on, when it was actually the complete opposite. It moved something deep inside me and for a moment, I felt guilty about everything.
“I’m sorry.”
Kova’s eyes narrowed, shock pouring out of them. “Do not ever be sorry for the passion that lives inside of you. It is a gift not everyone is given.”
Swallowing back the lump in my throat, I thought about his words in the letter, the sincerity behind them. He wrote his feelings out because he was unable to express them in a mann
er that allowed him to. It wasn’t uncommon to pen one’s emotions, but I couldn’t get past the fact he hid them so well…or he felt such a way.
With shaky words I asked, “Do you…do you really feel that way about me?”
When Kova looked back at me he didn’t conceal his emotions or feelings. “Every word.”
My lips parted, a flush of heat hitting my body hard. His conviction rendered me speechless. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“It is not so simple.” Leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees, he stared at the ground as if he was ashamed of his actions. “If you want to train with another coach, I would completely understand. Just say the word and I will change things around and make it happen.”
“No,” my voice cracked. “I don’t want anyone but you.” And I didn’t. He was the best coach I’d ever had.
“You will do just as well with someone else at World Cup.”
“No,” I said, defiantly louder this time.
Kova blew out a remorseful breath and turned toward me. “Ria, I think it would be best. This thing,” he shuffled his hands back and forth between us, “this thing has to stop. And with you being so close to me, me training you, I am afraid of what the future holds.” The conviction was powerful in his eyes, I knew he meant it. “I need you to know I have never…” he ran his tongue along his bottom lip, “I have never done anything with another gymnast like this. I cheated on the woman I plan to marry someday. I could lose everything that means something to me. I could lose my reputation, my gym.” I stayed silent and let him continue. Despite the ache and jealously spreading like wildfire in my chest, hearing he planned to marry Katja hurt more. “I never meant to take advantage of you.”
I swallowed hard. “You didn’t.”
“You are underage, Adrianna. I know better than to touch you. It is fucking wrong. I am totally at fault here.”
I got a little sassy because I didn’t want him to hold all the weight. “You did way more than just touch if I remember correctly. You gave me two incredible orgasms.” I bit my lip, heat tinted my cheeks thinking about how I rode him in the dance room. The room became stuffy and my body started to simmer for his touch. “It was the most—”