by Allysa Hart
“Come here, Ariana.” She pointed at a spot on the floor next to her chair, and I was grateful that I hadn’t been kneeling long enough for my limbs to fall asleep. I made it to the indicated spot and waited for the snap of her fingers that would indicate I was to kneel again, but instead she scooted over on her chaise lounge and patted the cushion. “Sit with me a minute, my girl.”
“Thank you, my queen.” I didn’t know what I had done to earn her favor, but my insides warmed with happiness at this unexpected turn of events.
“We have a new sister who will be arriving any day now, and I would like you to deliver this to her.” She took the book from Rod’s outstretched arms. “Leave us,” she barked, ”and close the doors on your way out.”
He bowed slightly and jogged out of the room, closing the doors so carefully that they didn’t make a sound.
“You want me to take it? But that’s Rowena’s job,” I stuttered in surprise. We all took our roles very seriously, and if the queen decided to give our positions to another girl, it was not a good thing. This would be yet another reason for Rowena to hate me. As if she needed one.
“Are you questioning an assignment, young lady?”
“I apologize, my queen. I will do whatever it is you ask of me.”
“Indeed. Take this book, do not read it. It is not for you.”
I nodded. It was going to be so difficult to follow those orders. I so badly wanted to read the words inside, but I would not disobey. I couldn’t, especially with something as important as a sister’s book. No one was allowed to share their special story with anyone.
“Yes, my queen.”
“Good girl. Go now, and be quick about it. You are not permitted to stop or speak with anyone. You can’t trust anyone. There are people out there who would kill you just to get their undeserving hands on that book, do you understand me?” Her voice was hard.
“Yes, my queen.” Her ominous words chilled me to my core.
I hurriedly put all of my things in my room and set off with the directions and the book. I had never done anything like this before, and I had no idea what to do or say once I got to my destination, but I was determined not to disappoint the queen. I headed down the path into town, the same path I had taken a few days earlier and my brain began to race with the memories. It couldn’t have been a dream, could it? I walked briskly until a small cabin came into view and I froze. I wasn’t dreaming! The cottage was actually there, and as I got closer, I could hear whistling coming from around the back. I kept moving down the road and looked around the corner to see the ogre hunched over in the flower bed. He was covered in dirt and glistening with sweat from the heat of the midday sun, but he whistled on, happily tending to the delicate little plants.
“That gives a whole new meaning to having a green thumb.” I giggled and he jumped to his feet. I hadn’t realize I had spoken out loud, and I clutched the book to my chest and hopped backwards. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“Princess Ariana, it’s so good to see you again.”
He called me princess, again, just as he had before. My emotions stirred within me, at war with each other as I realized that I had most certainly not been dreaming as the queen had claimed. On one hand, I was happy and relieved to find out I was not crazy, as the queen had made me think. On the other hand, it meant the queen had lied to me, a thought that made me sick to my stomach.
“Ari? Are you okay?” His voice cut through my internal dialogue, and I realized I had been spacing out. Grayson dusted off his hands on his filthy shorts and stepped toward me. He was so massive and intimidating, yet every move he made was delicate and controlled. His voice was deep and gentle, the kind of voice that made you want to curl up in a ball and cuddle. He was green and horridly funny looking, but for some reason, every time he spoke, my gut seemed to clench and quiver with a feeling I didn’t recognize, and my private places tingled every time I looked at him. I swallowed thickly, and looked down at my feet in shame, telling myself that I only had these feelings because the only man in my life was Rod and the only thing he ever said was ‘Yes, my queen’.
“Ari, Princess Ariana,” Grayson cajoled again in that melting voice of his.
“I’m not a princess,” I corrected him, craning my neck to meet his gaze.
“You know, I was thinking about that after our chat in my garden the other day,” Grayson answered with a smile. For the first time, I noticed that he had deep wells in the center of his green cheeks. Dimples. Oh my god.
“I think all girls are princesses in their own right, don’t you?” His smile was so genuine that I couldn’t help but smile also.
“You’re silly.” It was the only thing I could think of to say.
“Silly is good. How about you join me for another snack? I just baked some chocolate chip cookies, heavy on the chocolate.” As he spoke, he came closer, and I hugged the book tighter to my chest.
“What do you have there?” His eyes narrowed, and he frowned, peering at the worn leather.
I looked down at the book, and all of the queen’s edicts and warnings came flooding back to me. My stomach filled with guilt, but I remembered that I was mad at her and that she had lied to me about the ogre and about god knows what else. My mouth watered for the offered treat.
“It’s just a book that I’m delivering, nothing special,” I lied. I wanted to trust him, maybe I even did trust him, but I wasn’t ready to say more. He seemed to sense that and nodded, even though he didn’t look a bit convinced.
“Maybe a quick snack before you make your delivery?” he offered again.
I really wanted the cookie, and if I ran the rest of the way there and back, I could make it. “Okay, I can spare a few minutes, I think.”
He smiled again, his perfect white teeth a stark contrast to his green skin. “Great. I’ll be right back. Make yourself at home, Princess.” He winked.
I sat in the same place I had before and admired the small property. It was obvious that he spent a lot of time making his space beautiful, and although it was small, it held such warmth. I could spend hours enjoying the view of the flowers against the beautiful ocean backdrop.
The ogre brought out a plate with a couple of cookies and a glass of the same bitter-sweet lemonade. I couldn’t wait to enjoy them both.
“Thank you,” I said before taking my first bite of cookie. It was warm and delicious against my taste buds. I chewed slowly, savoring every morsel. “Now I know for sure I wasn’t dreaming.”
“Okay, go over this for me one more time,” I ordered softly. “And stop crying, you’re not doing anything wrong.”
In the week since her initial visit, Ari had managed to stop by my cottage three more times. At first, she didn’t say much, some muttering nonsense about wanting to make sure I was real, and thinking she had had some crazy dream.
This time, she was talking, and I was determined to gleam every bit of information I could from her before she froze up and ran off. She always did.
“I told you, I’m overly emotional,” she cried, weeping bitterly.
“Emotional, yes. Overly, no. You’ve had a rough week,” I said, handing her a tissue. “Now, what were you saying about a book?”
Ari blew her nose into the tissue, and sighed, loudly. “Something happened to me. A few years ago, maybe? The queen came to visit me in the hospital. She brought me a book. A beautiful leather-bound book with dolphins etched into the leather. It’s my favorite story. I read it all the time.”
I had seen her with the book, clutched under her arm the day she made her trance-like journey to the castle. Her and many others. I knew that the books were the secret to how the queen entrapped her minions, but I needed more information. “Sounds lovely,” I encouraged. “What is it about?”
Her eyebrows furrowed and her lips parted. A confused fog clouded her lovely face, and she frowned. “I-I don’t really know.” She spoke slowly, as if doing so would make the answer appear. She sat there for a minute,
searching for an answer, and then she smiled, sitting up a little straighter. “It’s a really good book!” she repeated. “And the queen wrote it just for me.”
“But you don’t know what it’s about?”
Ari shrugged. “I can’t explain it. But every time I read it, I am just filled with happiness and peace, and am so thankful for my queen and everything she has done for me.”
I had to fight back the growl of frustration I felt. A gift book from a stranger that indebts the receiver to the giver with blind devotion? Her favorite book, that filled her with peace and happiness, but she couldn’t begin to explain what it was about. Yeah, that wasn’t fucked up or anything.
I rubbed my forehead, back and forth, and winced as if I was in pain. I was. My brain hurt from trying to get past Ari’s blind devotion and worship to decipher the crux of the spells and brainwashing. And I knew she was about to leave any minute. She always left abruptly anytime she divulged something that might cast the queen in a negative light, as if the guilt of doing so was simply too much for her to bear.
Just as I predicted, she finished her lemonade, stood, thanked me with a smile, and skipped to the edge of the garden, leaving me alone with the frustration of her absence.
“Ari, wait!” I called out, wrapping the loaf of coffee cake into a napkin. It had become my little ritual to send her back with a treat. I figured it was the least I could do, to give her something to smile about, and the fact that my baking prowess kept her coming back to visit didn’t hurt either.
She stopped at the edge of the road, smiling when I held out the wrapped offering, and waited for me to bring it to her. I put it into her outstretched hand, smiled, and nodded at her before turning to make my way back into the house.
“Oh, Grayson?” she called out sweetly. I expected her to thank me again for the coffee cake I had made for her visit or request cookies for next time or something silly like that.
“Yes, Ariana?”
“I think the queen is really a monster. I saw her without her crown once, and she was a hideous slimy lump of a thing. And then she put the crown back on, and poof, there was my beautiful queen again. So yeah, she’s definitely a monster. And a witch. But I don’t know what to do about it, because she’s still my queen.”
My mouth opened and closed like a fish. It was the most I’d ever heard her say that wasn’t singing the queen’s praises.
“She knows I know, but she says it never happened. She says I never came back to the castle that day, that I stayed on the beach all day, and I must have fallen asleep and had a bad dream, or hit my head or something. That I never saw a monster and I never met an ogre. So, that’s why I came back, and why I keep coming back. To remind myself that I’m not crazy.” She paused then, and drew a deep breath. “Plus, I like you. For an ogre, you’re pretty nice. I have to go now. If the queen finds out where I’ve been going, she will surely beat me.”
I managed to make it up to my room without having to talk to anyone. They were all busy with chores and getting the new girl all settled. She had wasted no time in trekking to the castle once I had delivered the book for her, it seemed. I sat at my desk and reached underneath for the hidden key that unlocked the box that held my own special book. We all had one, and I sometimes used mine to keep something safely hidden. I wanted to get my coffee cake put away before someone caught a hint of the delicious aroma, and there was just enough space in the box for the treat Grayson gave me. I didn’t dare eat it when others were awake for fear of getting caught.
“I told you, my queen. I told you she was hiding things from you.” I froze in place at the sound of Rowena’s voice. Please, no. “She disappears down the village path for long periods and returns with things she hides in that box. She is disrespecting her book and breaking rules.”
“Indeed. You have done well, pet, and you will be rewarded.” No, no, no. “Come here, you stupid girl,” the queen bit out.
Usually when her voice reached that screeching tone I ran to do as I was told, but this time was different. I had never strayed this far off the queen’s path, especially not purposefully. I had wanted so badly to be validated that I had betrayed the one person I owed my life to.
“Now!” she roared. She was losing control. This was bad, very bad. Still I stayed cemented to the spot, my back to the door and my eyes shut tight as I berated every choice I had made regarding Grayson.
I didn’t even hear her approach me from behind, but she seized my hair and wrenched my head backwards. I let out a surprised scream at the sudden onslaught of pain.
“When I command you to do something, you do not make me repeat myself. I am the queen and you are scum. You are nothing without me, you would be dead without me.”
Tears flowed from my eyes as she spoke. She was right. “Yes, my queen.”
“Do not dare speak!” she yelled so close to my ear that I cringed from the physical pain it caused. “You are lucky I allow you to breathe the same air as I do. You. Do. Not. Speak.”
I clenched my jaw to keep myself from crying out again. With her hand still tangled in my hair, she seized the box from my bed and flipped it upside down. My book stayed on the bed, but the sweet loaf rolled onto the floor and unraveled from its paper covering.
“What is that?” The queen leaned down to get a closer look.
“It’s coffee cake,” I whimpered. Her hold was so tight that I thought for sure my scalp was bleeding.
“Where did you get it?” she asked suspiciously, her face scrunched up in disgust.
That was the last question I wanted to answer, but with my current predicament, answering quickly was my best plan of action.
“The ogre.”
The queen’s eyes widened and the skin on her face tinted blue before she took a deep breath and smiled the most sickening smile I had ever seen. “Breaking the rules and lying about it now?” she tsked. Her sudden calmness chilled me to my bones.
“What? No! I’m not lying. His name is—” She slapped me so hard across the face it knocked me off my feet.
I curled into a ball and clutched my stinging cheek. Before I could even process what was happening, she grabbed my hair again and dragged me to the offending item.
“Eat it,” she barked.
Confused, I looked up at her and was rewarded with a kick to the side. “Are you stupid or just deaf? Eat it.” She shoved my face into the cake smashing it into the carpet. I wiped my face and reached for the loaf, wishing I had never even heard of coffee cake before.
“No! You have lost the privilege of eating with your hands; you will eat it like the animal you are. You will eat every crumb. Rowena, fetch my whip.”
Those words brought a new wave of tears rushing down my face, but I had expected nothing less. I could see Rowena holding back gleeful laughter as she skipped from the room, eager to obey her queen.
“Eat it now!” the queen shrieked, stepping on my back as she knocked me into a prostrate position with my face hovering above the clump of coffee cake squished into the floor.
I hesitated long enough to fuel a new wave of anger. Her thick boot slammed against my spine, knocking me flat, face first into the pile of fragrant crumbs. I was crying so hard I could barely breathe. I had angered the queen before, many times, but never had I been forced to endure this kind of abuse.
“Eat it, you ungrateful little traitor!”
I ate. I knew nothing else but to obey my queen. I was accustomed to enduring vigorous beatings and taxing discipline sessions. And she was right, I had betrayed her. So I forced my mouth open, sobbing loudly while I choked down the soggy remnants of my disloyalty.
She stood above me nonsensically screaming until she was hoarse from the effort, until I had choked down every last crumb to her satisfaction. I hadn’t heard Rowena come back, but she must have, because the next thing I heard was the sound of a whip slicing through the air before it fell across my back with a deafening crack, harder than ever before.
I screamed.
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nbsp; “She will surely beat me.” Those were the words that eventually took me farther from my home than I had been since that fateful day two years ago. Brainwashing and blind devotion were bad enough, but the knowledge that Ari was being abused on top of it sent me over the edge.
And that’s how I came to find myself crouched in a large bush outside the tall stone walls that guarded the castle grounds after I’d followed Ari that evening. I didn’t know what I was waiting for. I didn’t have a plan, I just knew that I could wait no longer. I must take action.
I squatted there until my calves cramped up and my back spasmed from the pain of my uncomfortable position. Shifting, I leaned against the root of an overgrown tree, arching my back against its trunk for relief. This allowed me to stretch my legs in front of me, and relax for a moment. My plan had been to wait until midnight when the curfew would offer a better chance of my going unseen, but did I really even need to wait? The stone fence only reached my chest, and I could hop it in two point two seconds if I needed to. I was contemplating action when a shrill scream pierced the night air. I bolted upright and listened. The cry pierced my ears and set my teeth on edge. It was definitely Ari. Was she being beaten? I didn’t know, but something was not right.
I didn’t wait for another scream. Hurling my giant body over the massive stone wall, I crossed the long field with only a dozen long strides. For the first time, I was grateful for my ogre form. There was a guard at the door, and I recognized him as the sputtering villager from the scene in the road two years ago. He was a mouse of a man, paralyzed by fear at the sight of me. Some guard. Picking him up between two giant fingers, I flicked him across the field, chuckling when he landed with an ‘oomph’ in a soft pile of hay. I was a gentle giant, really.
The wooden door to the castle was locked, and I smashed it with one fist, reaching into the hole to grab the handle from the other side, and pull it open.