“Oh, I was just making a mental note that it’s surprising that you didn’t reach out to me—that you didn’t need some help getting through that—but it sounds like you handled everything very well, Zara. Do you feel that way?”
She was referring to my near breakdown and the decision that I’d made about not stuffing my feelings with the fast food—breaking my pattern.
I nodded my head. I had thought about that.
“Yeah. I think normally I would have asked to come in to talk about things but there’s something else that happened that night—that really helped, I mean.”
“What’s that?”
“My friend—well, he’s also my trainer—Braden ended up coming over. It was unexpected, and I guess he really helped me to get through all that.”
“That’s good. You’ve talked about Braden before. It seems that the two of you have developed quite a nice friendship.”
“We have, yes. He’s really been there for me and he’s a really great guy.”
“Are there any romantic feelings there—between you and Braden?”
“Oh, no.” I felt the heat in my face betraying my words. “I mean Braden is amazing—so amazing—but we’re just friends. I’d never want anything to jeopardize that.”
I felt shy talking about him all of a sudden, and I wanted to change the subject. As I scrambled to do so, I noticed Judy making a note on her pad of paper. “I do have a date tomorrow night with Maneesh—he’s the guy that I was most interested in meeting, so we’ll see.”
“I’ll look forward to hearing how that goes.”
I nodded, ready to move on to the other topic of conversation. I was anxious to hear Judy’s thoughts about my ideas for a potential career change.
“So I wanted to talk to you about something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately.”
She nodded for me to continue.
“You know that I’ve not really enjoyed my job for a very long time now.”
We’d had more than one conversation about the topic during my many sessions over the past year.
“Yes.”
“Well, it came up during one of my training sessions with Braden.”
Ugh, there went the heat to my face again. My blushing was getting downright embarrassing. I looked over at Judy, whose face didn’t reflect that she’d noticed anything strange with me.
“So, Braden got me thinking about something that I wanted to run by you.”
“Okay. This seems to have you very excited. I’m anxious to hear about it, Zara.”
“Well, he mentioned that he thought I’d be a good coach or something. At first I thought that he was talking about being a personal trainer—I really don’t think that would be right for me—but anyway, since then I’ve done some research and discovered that there’s this whole field called life coaching which I actually think I’d be quite good at.”
“Oh, yes. This is a very interesting field, actually. I know a bit about it and I’d agree that this seems like it would be a good fit for you—very different from what you’re doing now, if that’s what you’re wanting.”
I felt excited even talking about it now, and the fact that it was another person confirming that I’d be good at something that seemed so exciting to me was making me feel wonderful about the direction I was headed. I’d found a lot of information online including two different certification programs that would be very doable for me.
I brought my thoughts back to what I wanted to discuss with Judy. “I do want something very different. I’m tired of working in my stuffy office. I want to help people—to help women. And I think I’d be good at it.”
I knew that I’d be good at it. It was something that I felt in my gut.
“I think you’d be very good at that, Zara. Have you taken steps to figure out what you’d need to do? Is there anything I can help you with?”
I smiled. I would definitely be using Judy as a role model. I wanted to be just like her with my own clients—warm, but always knowing when to push to get the best out of the client.
“Thanks. I’ve found two different programs that I can do locally and online—for getting my certificate. I’m pretty sure that completing one of those would have me set in terms of any credentials that I’d need. I could start the new course that’s coming up as early as next week.”
Was I really going to do this? It felt so right as I was talking about it now.
“I guess what I wanted to run by you was this thought I’ve been having about quitting my job. Earlier than later, I mean.” Judy seemed to be eyeing me intently. “I’m really hating it.”
“Well, let’s talk this through and see if we can sort out your feelings to be able to make a good decision for you about this.”
We went on to talk about my comfort level in terms of the savings I had—which was significant—and how I felt about the risk factor in terms of getting a new business off the ground.
Leaving Judy’s office, I felt that I had a bright future in front of me again. I was going to quit my job on Monday and hopefully meet the man of my dreams tomorrow night. I was counting on Maneesh to be one of the good guys. I had a feeling about him and what I thought would be the perfect ending to my week.
Chapter 25
I felt a bit shy suddenly sitting across the table from Maneesh. So far the date had gone exceptionally well. We’d met for dinner at a new Middle Eastern restaurant that he thought was quite good. He’d been there when I arrived and had been nothing but a perfect gentleman.
And Maneesh was good-looking. Not my normal type at all, but I found my sexual energy doing something anyway. I wouldn’t say that it was off the charts, in terms of physical attraction, but the creepiness factor was definitely not in play here.
I couldn’t be sure, but my date’s body language seemed to indicate that he at least found me somewhat interesting. He leaned forward when I spoke. His eyes never left my face and I really liked his smile.
“I really like this restaurant. Good choice.”
“I’m glad you like it. I’ve been coming here for a few months now.”
“Bringing all your—”
Stop. D’oh, what was wrong with me? Do not ask him about his other dates. Wrong first date conversation.
He smiled at me. “I’ve not been on so many dates, if that’s what you were about to ask.”
I smiled back, feeling more at ease. “Sorry. Sometimes I’m not very good at thinking before speaking.”
“Don’t apologize, Zara. I’d like for you to be yourself. I hope that you feel like you can be.” The look he was giving me was making me feel slightly weak. “So far, I like what I’m seeing.”
I felt my face go warm. His compliments were pushing my sexual energy up a few notches. I stifled a laugh at the conversation going on in my head and brought my attention back to Maneesh.
“You seem very nice too—nothing like the other two dates I’d been on.”
Ugh. Did I really just say that out loud? Get it together, Zara. This guy might actually be a keeper.
Maneesh seemed to be amused at my words and the discomfort that I showed afterwards. He reached over to touch my hand—but just lightly, and he didn’t grab it or anything, which might have been a bit much so soon. “I think you’re very beautiful.”
Okay. Melting my heart just a bit. He certainly was saying and doing all the right things.
“Thank you. I think you’re very handsome as well.”
We enjoyed the rest of our dinner and the conversation flowed easily. I found out that Maneesh was thirty-five and the eldest of five siblings, all of whom were married with children and living nearby. He was close with his parents—also living nearby—and he did have the desire to be married and have kids of his own. He was an engineer at a big company in the area, enjoyed his job, and worked long hours to provide a good life for his parents and himself.
He asked, “And you said that you’re in finance?”
We’d talked about our careers and educa
tion a bit in our online chats before we’d set up the date. It was funny how much things had changed in such a short time. I hadn’t even had a chance to tell Braden about the decisions that I’d made since the appointment with my therapist the day before—he’d had to cancel our workout today and I was dying to talk to him about it.
“Sorry?”
Stop spacing out, Zara. I was the one being rude—and from the way things were going, I’d do well to get my act together.
“I was just asking you about your job—at the bank?”
“Oh, well, you’re not going to believe this, but a lot has changed since we started talking.”
“Oh, did you get a promotion? Tell me more.”
I filled him in on the latest developments, not trying to lessen the passion that I felt while I described it. He didn’t know me well, but if I wanted to be genuine and authentic with myself, Maneesh should be getting the whole package, including my natural exuberance when I was excited about something.
He seemed oddly quiet when I’d finished, which felt awkward and a bit jarring compared to how the rest of the conversation had been going. I waited for him to speak, focusing on the food on my plate, which was really rather delicious. I made a mental note to check the calorie count of the menu choices I’d made, as it was a food that I wasn’t very familiar with but quite liked.
After what seemed like several minutes, Maneesh finally spoke.
“Well, I must say that I’m a little surprised that you’d think of leaving such a great job.”
Hmm—which part of “I hate my job and my boss is a pig” did you not understand?
“Well, I wouldn’t say that the job is so great. I mean, I’ve not been enjoying it for so long now. It doesn’t really give me any personal satisfaction, ya know?”
Please get me.
“But it’s what you went to school for? And I’m sure you’re making a good salary by now, yes?”
Maneesh was not, in fact, getting me, but in light of what I’d been through with the other dates, it didn’t seem like a deal breaker—not yet, anyway. Certainly not worthy of a walkout.
I closed my mouth quickly just as I realized a big sigh was about to leave it. “You know, it’s really not about the money to me. I mean, it was—it used to be. And yes, I’ve done just fine for myself but I want a job that makes me excited. I want to do something that makes a difference in people’s lives.”
“I see.”
But I didn’t really think he was seeing anything.
The rest of the evening went well once we’d moved on to other topics, and Maneesh didn’t act like I’d totally blown everything in his view. And it wasn’t as if I’d change anything about what I was doing or saying for him anyway. But I had to be honest about wanting someone in my life who was supportive of everything—including my career choices.
It was too soon to tell with Maneesh. It was possible that there was just a little communication issue or I wasn’t describing my disdain for my current job strongly enough. I did like him. So far, of the three dates I’d had, he was more than just the best of the bunch. Maneesh had a lot of good qualities and a lot going for him.
He walked me out to me car and when it was time to say good night, he leaned over to give me just the slightest kiss on the cheek, which I thought was sweet. He smelled fantastic, and I’m not gonna lie—I thought about accidentally moving my face when I saw him coming in for the peck. I wanted to feel those lips on mine, and I realized that I needed to have a little meeting with my sexual energy—which was suddenly in overdrive.
Do not invite him home with you on the first date.
I would not. He was too much of a gentleman anyway—I was almost sure of that. But then again, sometimes it was the most gentlemanly types…
“Sorry, what?” I was totally spacing out on him again as the poor guy attempted to say good night.
He laughed.
“I was just saying that I’d like to call you—to see you again. If you’re interested?”
I was interested.
I nodded. “Yes, I’d like that very much.”
As I pulled out of the parking lot to drive away from my blind date, I felt hopeful. Maneesh was definitely worthy of a second date and if nothing else, at least I now knew that I could have one blind date that didn’t end in total disaster.
Chapter 26
I hopped into Braden’s convertible, hardly able to contain the news that I had for him. He looked at me and laughed.
“What is up with you? More than your usual two coffees already this morning?”
I laughed, buckling my seatbelt, even more excited about the meeting Braden was taking me to this morning. Now that my plan was in motion I wanted to start surrounding myself with other entrepreneurs—like Braden—who took their business seriously.
“Wait. You had a date last night, didn’t you? The guy that you thought was so cute?”
“Well, yes, I did. And that actually went very well—but that’s not my news—well, it’s part of my news, I suppose, but it’s not what I’m most excited to tell you.”
“Okay, spill it. You know I love good news.”
He grinned, and my breath nearly caught as it often did when the sun hit Braden’s smile just right. I loved riding with him in his car with the top down. Usually we had our favorite music blaring but today was for serious conversation.
“Zara. Are you gonna tell me?”
“Yes. Sorry. So I’ve made a big decision.”
He looked at me as we came to a stop at the light.
“I’m quitting my job—on Monday.”
Braden’s whole face lit up in the grin that I’d been waiting for ever since I’d decided what I wanted to do.
“Really, Zara? That is a big decision. And you seem insanely happy.” He reached his arm around my shoulders to pull me in for a quick hug. “What are you going to do?”
‘Well, that’s the thing. Ever since you and I had been talking about the coaching idea, I did a lot of research online. I started reading up on life coaching and I really think it’s going to be a perfect fit for me—my therapist thinks so too—I can really help people—I think it will be women—and I can run my business on my own time, having more time for me and the things I love.” I had to stop and take a breath as I watched Braden’s face in reaction to my words.
“Zara, I couldn’t be more pleased. I think this is going to be a perfect fit for you, and I like the idea of you having more time for yourself—and maybe also those you love.” He winked and we both laughed.
“More time for you to kick my butt at the gym, you mean?”
“Something like that.”
His eyes were back on the road as the light turned green.
“So tell me about the date. Did it go well?”
“It did, actually—if you can believe it. Maneesh was a prefect gentleman and he definitely seems like someone who has it all together.”
“That’s good.”
Braden seemed to suddenly be very interested in watching his hands on the steering well.
“Yeah, I think so. He said he’d call me—that he wanted to go out again—but we’ll see. I won’t get my hopes up until it actually happens.”
I tried to laugh it off like it didn’t really matter much to me one way or the other, but the truth was that I did hope Maneesh would call me for a second date. It was the first time in a long time that I felt even remotely attracted to a guy—excluding the present company, which didn’t count, of course. I stole a glance at Braden and tried to determine the look on his face.
“Hello? You okay?”
He looked over at me quickly. “Yeah, sure. I’m really happy for you. We’ll have to see if this Maneesh passes my good-enough-for-Zara test.”
“Oh, yeah? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” I laughed.
“So you were attracted to him then, I take it?”
I wasn’t sure why Braden’s question would make me blush but I could feel the heat in my cheeks.
“Yeah, I thought he was really nice-looking.” I was happy to see that he was pulling into the restaurant parking lot, because I was suddenly very anxious to get off the topic of my date.
Braden came around to my side of the car to open the door for me. I’d learned to wait for him to do this after the first few times I’d ridden with him in his car. At first I resisted. I was a modern woman, after all. But then one day while we were having coffee together Braden told me why it was important to him—to treat a woman in a certain way.
He shared with me the day that his mother had passed away from cancer when he was twelve—that she’d taught him how to open doors for women and the ways in which she thought he should behave towards the opposite sex. I could see the influence that she’d had on him, and hearing all of this from Braden had nearly broken my heart that day. I could see now why he seemed so different from other guys I’d known. Braden was special, but not just because of how he treated women—it was more about how he treated other people in general. He just always seemed to see the good in people and situations. Honestly, I felt lucky to have him as a friend.
We walked into the restaurant and over to one of the rooms that had been rented out for the meeting. As soon as we stepped inside, I felt the energy and excitement of everyone who was there. Braden introduced me to the organizer, who told us to help ourselves to the brunch buffet that was set up at one end of the room.
One of the regular members was going to be speaking about the importance of social media as it related to business, which was a topic I could really be interested in. I’d been on the main social media platforms for the past year now, so I was pretty sure it was a strategy that I’d be able to employ and enjoy when it came to marketing my new business.
Chapter 27
I was really enjoying the way that Braden was looking at me as we made our way back to the car. I had loved everything about the meeting and the people that I’d met. Every fiber of my being was telling me that I was making the right decisions when it came to my career move. I’d met two life coaches who’d given me their phone numbers and seemed happy to help me get started.
Becoming Zara Page 8